Category: Smut, Humor,SLASH (M/M, F/F)
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: That 70's Show
Pairings: Eric/Hyde, Donna/Jackie
Misc Notes: 1st person POV (Eric) & bad language
Disclaimer: Fox TV owns them, would probably kick my ass if
they knew what I was doing with them. Oh well.
Archive: Anywhere, please keep headers intact.
Feedback: Please. Love to hear from you!

Title: THAT SHOW OF SHOWS by mako
email: [email protected]

^^^^^

"Smoking marijuana destroys brain cells."

I turned to another page of the latest "Life" magazine then
flipped back again. The bright orange lettering caught my eye
as did the vacant gaze of yet another anti-drug campaign's
supposed stoner. He wasn't much of an ad model but I was
impressed by just how truly burnt he looked.

"Hey Hyde, do you think we're destroying our brain cells?" I
asked. "You know, by getting high?"

Hyde smiled beneath his aviator sunglasses. "Yep."

"Cool," I replied, tossing the magazine aside and pulling out
my stash. "Wanna do it some more?"

"Indeed." He pulled up a chair and soon our brain cells were
falling away like lemmings from a cliff. "You know Forman," he
said once the atmosphere turned nice and toasty. "I've been
meaning to ask you something, something that's a little close
to home. If it's too personal, just say so."

"It's too personal," I replied, taking another spicy drag from
the bong.

"I didn't ask yet."

"Yeah, but I figure if you're asking it ..."

"Has it ever occurred to you that Donna might be bi, as in bi-
sexual?"

The smoke spluttered from my mouth in a huge, choking cloud.
"WHAT?" I cried, glaring at him with what must have been my
very best look of death.

Hyde was unimpressed. "Seriously, man. She's always struck
me, as well, kinda on the other, less frilly side of the fence.
I not saying she's not totally hot, but hasn't it ever crossed
your mind that along with doing you, she might be having some
extracurricular activities with, shall we say, the fairer sex?"

I gaped at him, at a momentary loss for words. Donna was
never your typical girl, she could kick my ass at basketball
nine times out of ten, but "bi"? What the hell?

"Hyde, she's with me. She ... she SLEEPS with me for God's
sake! Donna is so ... so straight, she could practically host
a dinner party for Anita Bryant. I mean, not that she would,
but you know what I'm saying."

"Okay. So I guess what I saw her and Jackie doing the other
night was nothing." He nodded in that infuriating I-Don't-
Give-A-Shit way of his. "Cool, man."

The bong fell from my hand and pot-scented water seeped into
the shag rug at my feet. "What?" I gasped, the pleasant fog
of brain-cell destruction lifting rapidly. "What did you see
Donna do?"

"Nothing. Must have been two other girls making out."

"Hyde, don't make me get up and kill you, because I will. Now
you tell me everything you saw. NOW!" I yelled, feeling
a very odd mix of betrayal, anger and heaven help me,
horniness.

Donna and Jackie ... making out. Jesus.

"Whoa, chill out Forman." Hyde took off his glasses and
casually cleaned them on a corner of his T-shirt. "If I were
you, I'd be more interested in seeing if I could get a front
row seat to this show of shows. If you're nice to me, maybe I
can supply it."

"But ... but ..." I stammered, dumbstruck.

Then it hit me. Donna and Jackie, two hot girls, one of them
my girlfriend, making out and ... maybe more.

Jesus.

He leaned in closer, a conspiratorial grin covering his face.
"Two nights ago, when you were out in the garage with Red, I
came down to get my jeans out of the dryer and that's when I
saw it. Donna and Jackie, together on the couch, going at it
so hot and heavy they didn't even notice I was there. They
didn't even turn around when I almost fell over the bannister,
trying to get a better look."

My brain was reeling in huge looping circles. "But ... what did
you say?"

Hyde looked at me as if I were crazy. "Nothing, man. Would
*you* interrupt the greatest cream in your pants moment of YOUR
life? What am I, an idiot? I just let the ladies do their
thing, with me watching of course." He nudged me with his
elbow. "And I see no reason why I shouldn't let my best pal in
on the fun especially since he's screwing one of the ladies in
question."

"Gee Hyde, that's very generous of you," I snarled. "And for
your information, Donna and I don't "screw," we ... we ..."

What exactly was it we did again?

Oh yeah, "make love," that's it. I think.

"Whatever," said Hyde, sliding his glasses back on. "Do you
want to see the chicks make out or what? Donna's studying with
Jackie tonight and I'll bet you ten bucks I know what's on the
homework schedule."

Anger flared again, and I suddenly hated Hyde and his smug,
know-it-all ass. He was just playing his usual mind-games but
this time I was going to call his bluff. "Sure," I said, with
a shrug. "Why not?"

Hyde rubbed his hands together gleefully. "Why not indeed?
You're all right Forman, no matter what anyone else says."

"Asshole," I muttered under my breath, following him out the
basement door and through the Pinciotti's backyard, to where
this supposed miracle awaited.

^^^^^^

The view was one perfected after many hours spent peeping
through Donna's bedroom window, hoping to catch a glimpse of
her in various stages of undress. I wasn't proud that I was a
twelve-year-old pervert with no life back then and now I was
an eighteen-year-old pervert doing practically the same thing.

"This is stupid," I whispered, trying to balance myself on the
same part of garage roof that seemed so much bigger and more
stable half a decade before. A stray tree branch tickled my
neck, giving me paranoid thoughts of Red stalking up behind me,
catching me and giving me the beating of my pathetic, skinny
life. "Did you hear me Hyde? This is stupid!"

"Shhhh," insisted Hyde, peering intently through the darkness.
"Watch and you will see, grasshopper."

Donna's bedroom was clearly visible less than a few yards away
and as usual, her shades were up. Jackie was there, sitting
cross-legged on her bed, Indian style, studying her notes.
Donna was pouring out a soda, offering it to Jackie,
then taking her own place beside her, textbook in hand.

"I'm going to kill you, Hyde," I hissed. "You give me this
total bogus line of bullshit, get me out here to spy on my
girlfriend, sitting on this garage like some loser in third
grade and ..."

"Check it out," whispered Hyde, reverently, as if the Holy
Grail had just materialized before him.

Exasperated, I turned back to Donna's window.

And my entire world began to tilt toward a universe I'd never
imagined existed.

The books were tossed aside and there was Donna, my Donna,
making out with her best pal, Jackie. Soft lips were locked
together with a clearly visible hint of tongue darting between
them as hands roamed over breasts, stopping at the nipples,
exploring, caressing gently before retreating back to each
others' cheeks and hair.

"Oh my God," I croaked, my mouth so dry, I was surprised I
could speak at all. "Oh my God."

"I used to be an atheist," said Hyde softly. "But yup. There
definitely is a God."

Oblivious, the girls continued, sprawled out with Donna on top
as Jackie squirmed happily beneath her, pulling on her blouse,
both of them laughing when it got tangled in Donna's long red
hair.

Lip-reading classes, that's what I need, I thought dazedly as
they talked to one another, giggling when Donna sat up and
wiggled out of her pants.

My girlfriend was down to her bra and panties and I heard Hyde
make a noise that under normal circumstances would have earned
him a fist in his face from yours truly, but these were not normal
circumstances.

In fact, I agreed with him completely.

The bra disappeared and I nearly fell off the roof when Jackie
reached up and started touching Donna's breasts, those
beautiful, soft perfect breasts that I'd enjoyed so many times.

How odd to feel so little jealousy, to feel an actual burst of
pride as Jackie took each one into her mouth and seemed to take
as much pleasure in them as I ever did. If it had been a man,
I'd have killed him, but it was ... well, it was *Jackie* for
God's sake. How threatening was that?

In fact, it was far from threatening -- it was the most erotic
thing I'd ever seen in my life.

And from the sounds Hyde was making, he agreed. "Come on, do
it," he murmured at the window as if he could influence the
action inside. A groan then, followed by the sound of jeans
being unzipped.

I knew exactly what he was doing and under normal circumstances
I probably would have been more than a little disgusted, but
again, I thought, unzipping my own pants ...

I agreed with him completely.

My dick was rock hard in my hand and I watched as Donna slowly
slipped off her panties, widening her legs so Jackie could
reach between them, perfectly manicured fingers disappearing
inside what I knew was velvety soft, hot and incredibly wet.

Donna arched forward, obviously loving it, and I let go of my
twitching cock, not wanting to come too soon.

Hyde was having no such trouble and the sounds he was making
next to me were becoming almost as intriguing as what was going
on in Donna's room. How strange to hear Hyde, in some ways as
uptight as a monk, letting go and being brazenly sexual, right
next to me. It was all too weird, but it was great too, and I
edged closer to him, smiling so hard I knew the muscles in my
mouth would never be the same.

The girls had changed positions, sixty-nining each other
enthusiastically, with Donna's long lean body bridged over
Jackie's smaller one, her head dipped down between the dark
curls, as Jackie stretched up, burying her face between the
reddish-blonde fuzz that declared Donna a natural redhead.

I already knew that but I guess Hyde didn't because he elbowed
me frantically, mumbling incoherently. "Seethatohmygodyouseethat?"

"Yeah, she's hot isn't she?" I whispered in his ear, feeling
so loose and sexy nothing seemed to matter much anymore. The
rules had changed and not for the worse either. "She tastes as
good as she looks, man. Like candy."

Hyde moaned, leaned against me and I reached between his legs,
my own dick throbbing like crazy. It was no big deal, what was
a little fun between friends I thought, touching him the way I
liked to touch myself when Donna wasn't available.

Hey, what's good for the girlfriend ...

"Oh jeez, man," he panted as I gently pinched the tip of his
cock between my thumb and forefinger, feeling the wetness seep
out. "Wait ... don't ..." A pause, and I felt his hand fumbling
at my crotch. "What the hell," he muttered and a second later
his tongue was deep inside my mouth, raking against my teeth,
pulling back and plunging in again.

It was totally different and in some ways just as exciting as
kissing Donna. Slowly, I was figuring out what the attraction
might be in making it with your best friend especially when
Hyde began to expertly jack me off, keeping a perfect sliding
pressure in all the right spots.

Takes one to know one, I thought. I held onto the roof the best
I could, glanced over at Donna's window to see them coming
close to orgasm, their hips pumping frantically toward each
others mouths, both of them glistening with sweat.

Reached for Hyde again, and we got into our own rhythm, mouths
and hands busy in unison, until I felt him explode in my palm,
my own shattering climax following a second later.

As did my tumble from the garage roof.

"Shit!" I yelped as my tailbone smacked into the cement with a
thud.

"Crap!" yelled Hyde as he rolled off after me, narrowly missing
my head by inches.

"Eric!" yelled Red from inside the kitchen and that was all we
needed. I leapt up and ran, bruised tailbone and all, with
Hyde right behind me.

We flew down into the basement, slamming the door behind us,
leaping on the couch, trying our damnedest to look casually
indifferent. Loud thumps of shoes against the basement stairs
followed and Red appeared on the landing, glaring at us with
his usual look of impending doom.

"What do you two dumbasses think you're doing out there?" he
demanded.

I couldn't even talk, but Hyde, as usual, saved the day.
"Retrieving a Frisbee, Mr. Forman," he lied with the
straightest face I'd ever seen.

Red's eyes narrowed to slits. "Retrieving a Frisbee? In the
middle of the night?"

"It's a glow-in-dark one, Red," replied Hyde, as innocent as a
babe in the woods.

Or as innocent as a pervert atop a garage oogling two girls
going at it like crazy while whacking off his best pal.

Red rolled his eyes, turned and stomped back up the stairs.
"Well, whatever it is you morons are up to, knock it off.
Understood?"

"Understood," we replied in unison, glancing at each other with
huge eyes.

Convulsive laughter followed and a few minutes later we were
back at the beginning, pot-pipe in hand, asking each other the
same stupid questions we'd been asking each other for what
seemed like forever.

"So if Mickey's a mouse, Pluto's a dog, what's Goofy, man?"

"I think I hear your last brain cell leaving the building."

"You just can't answer that, can you?"

"Shut up and pass it back here, willya?"

^^^^

The next evening Donna showed up and greeted me with the usual
mind-blowing kiss.

I returned it eagerly, knowing we wouldn't find a place to do
it but there was no harm in enjoying the idea just the same.

"Hey, Eric," she said, her blue eyes shining. "I have that
history final tomorrow, so would it be a problem if I studied
with Jackie one more night? I can promise you the whole weekend
after that."

I smiled, feeling a warm rush tingle up my spine. "No problem
at all. In fact, I was going to go over a few English lit
assignments with Hyde. If that's all right with you."

Another blinding smile, and jeez, she was more beautiful than
ever. "Thanks, Eric. You're the best."

"So are you," I said, and gave her a little squeeze before
opening the door for her. "Have fun, babe."

"I'll try," she laughed, and as the door shut, I took a moment
to catch my breath before making my way up the stairs and into
my bedroom.

Where my best friend Hyde waited, ready and willing to help me
put on our own show of shows, hopefully the whole night long.

^^^^^
end

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