(As told by Mako Crab)
Season 1
Beast Wars part 1
Yay! Predacons and Maximals come to town! It was too quiet anyway, don't you think? Their spaceships crash on a prehistoric looking *ahem* planet. And this strange and unusual planet, it's full of animals and plants and stone henge and all sorts of things. But it's got two moons, so it's probably not Earth at all. What? It's not. I swear it's not. Stop looking at me, it's not!!
Beast Wars part 2
If I were told that my enemies were all gathered on top of a gigantic... oh, say nuclear bomb, would I climb to the top of that bomb and start shooting things at them? NO! Because the bomb would probably go off with me on top of it!!! But that's exactly what the Maximals do. And the bomb goes off. And... wow. Well okay, it was a nice run, but I guess everyone's dead. Thanks for dropping by my little website. Huh? They're not dead? Not even Megatron? He was right on top of it when it blew. Still alive? Wow. Well okay then, uh... I guess there are more episodes then.
The Web
You know, sometimes getting shot once isn't enough. Case in point; Cheetor.
Equal Measures
Cheetor spends the entire episode getting blasted, minced, singed, struck by lightning and..... SCOLDED for crying out loud! Scolded by his idol for going outside on a rainy day! Dammit, Bigbot, I'm in a wheelchair here! I'm soooo sorry I wanted some fresh air!!!
Chain of Command
Power Surge
Terrosaur is a model Predacon. Loyal to the cause before all else, never wavering in the face of danger and always there to support his team. He would never, NEVER try to kill his leader if he happened to stumble upon some super energon that ramped up his power to god-like levels. Oh... wait. Hehe. Nevermind. :P
Fallen Comrades
Tigatron falls to Earth and hits his head. Repeatedly, I'm assuming. The Maximals recruit what's left of his mushed up brain. Too bad for them Tigatron runs off to play with other tigers. *rimshot*
Double Jeapordy
Hot, oily sex falls to Earth in Predacon form. Oh, and Rattrap sides with the Predacons or something. But did you see the new Predacon?? Damn! Hey, Maximals, where's your cheesecake? C'mon now.
A Better Mousetrap
Terrorsaur and Blackarachnia spend all day in a cave together. You figure it out. Meanwhile the new home security system at the Axalon is trying to kill Rattrap!
Gorilla Warfare
Optimus Primal turns into a terminator and barges into the Predacon base. But they have home court advantage! Uh... no. Tarantulus, you die! Waspinator, die! All you other people die too! I kill you all! Good gravy, he killed them all!
The Probe
Victory
Dark Designs
Double Dinobot
The Spark
Dr. Rhinox uses pieces of Cheetor to save a dying protoform. I so hope he knows what he's doing. *Gasp* It worked! Oh my god!! A girl! A Maximal girl! Yeah, screw you, Preds! We finally got a girl on the team!!! Blackarachnia ain't so hot now is she- uh... what the- what the hell? AirRazor's kinda... boyish looking isn't she. RHINOX!!! We get a girl on the team and you program her with man parts! I'll never forgive you for this! What were you thinking? Oh god, she even talks like Cheetor. Slag! SLAG! SLAAAAG!!!!
The Trigger part 1
The Trigger part 2
Spider's Game
So imagine you're tired and want to go to bed when, OH MY GOD!!! Someone stole my bed! This is how Inferno's day starts.
Call of the Wild
Oh you know it's bad when Tigatron and AirRazor have to save the day. She likes to talk to herself and Tigatron talks like a hippy. And none of the other Maximals talk, because they've all gone feral, yeah!!
Dark Voyage
Ugh. This is one of those episodes I can do without. You know when stuff happens, but you just don't care? Okay, so the Maximals all get energon poisoning and go blind. They have to make their way back to base while Terrorsaur and Waspinator prove that they can't even take out a pack of half-dead, blind Maxis. Yawners, yawners.
Possession
The Low Road
Rhinox has farting sickness. Don't laugh, it's a real disease that millions of people suffer from every day!
Law of the Jungle
Tigatron accidentally kills his lov-er... his tiger friend. Buries her under a pile of rocks. Then he recovers the body and gives it a proper burial under a different pile of rocks. God, I love Maximals. But that's the last straw. Tigatron's had enough! No more fighting for him! Of course, the Predacons decide to deliver a beat-down and it's not long before Tigatron's back in the ring and kicking ass. NEXT!
Before the Storm
Other Voices part 1
Other Voices part 2
Aftermath
It was Earth all along! HA! What a complete and total surprise! I never saw it coming. And neither did you, right? Primal's still dead. Umm...what else? Basically this is what they do on lazy Sunday afternoons.
Coming of the Fuzors part 1
Still dead. Primal's still dead. It's been two whole episodes now. I'm starting to think they really mean it Megatron recruits Quickstrike and Silverbolt, but it's so obvious Silverbolt's going to join up with the Maximals. Someone say party at the Axalon? Cool! Load up all the Preds, we're going to the party!
Coming of the Fuzors part 2
Oh gee. Silverbolt joined the Maximals. And Primal's back in a new Transmetal body! He wastes every last Pred single-handedly!! Woo! Man, it's just so easy. And it's the second time he's done it. How are the Beast Wars even still going on?
Tangled Web
Maximal, No More
There's this guy I know. He used to be a Maximal. But no more! Who could it be??? You'll never guess, it's the one guy you'd never suspect- oh. You said Dinobot? Well, yeah, it's him. Moving on.
Other Visits part 1
Other Visits part 2
Bad Spark
Code of Hero
How many Predacons can Dinobot kill in five minutes?!
Transmutate
It's the chicken walker!
The Agenda part 1
Ravage shows up and says, "Maximals! Why don't you ever take the initiative???" So for once the Maximals decide to see what happens when they attack first. They all hop in Ravage's sweet ride and head over to the neighbors' house and start pounding on the door. In no time at all the Predacons are scattered and Megatron is in cuffs. Look at those Maximals, heehee, look at the disbelief and shock on their faces. :P
The Agenda part 2
The Agenda part 3
Optimal Situation
The title is a bit misleading. The Axalon is destroyed and the Maximals are forced into a defensive position protecting the Ark (and all time and space as we know it) for the next couple million years. Oh, and all they have to work with is salvage from their junk-heap of a ship and ancient Autobot technology that's not even compatible with their modern tech. But Primal gets a new giant body, so it's all "Optimal Situation", right? Who are they trying to kid? They are so dead.
Deep Metal
Every show needs a Wolverine and here comes Depth Charge. "Grr. I don't socialize and I don't like you good guys, but I'll stick around and save your sorry butts over and over again, because my brooding, bad self is too cool to deny the cameras. I got some history with Rampage. It's personal now and all I live for is revenge. You want to hate me, but you know you idolize me. Don't worry. I'm used to it."
Changing of the Guard
Otherwise known as that one episode where Rattrap goes into the sunken Axalon. This episode is so awesome for that alone. Sunken Axalon is the best! Dark, creepy and full of floating debris and spookiness. Just so weird when you know it was a bright haven for two solid seasons.
Cutting Edge
Feral Scream part 1
Feral Scream part 2
Proving Grounds
Go With the Flow
Seems like anymore every big TF villain tries to be like Beasties Megatron. Here Megatron decides he'll try it the other way around. Big canon o' doom? Check. One gigantic achilles heel? Check. No way the good guys will ever spot you unless they happen to look in your general direction? Check. All of it brought down by the shortest Maximal and his monkey friend? Check. Congratulations. You're the spitting image of G1 Megatron!
Crossing the Rubicon
Master Blaster
Other Victories
As if AirRazor weren't already manly enough, now she gets merged with Tigatron into a single engine of destruction known as Tigerhawk. With crazy elemental powers! The death machine hurls through space like a tiger comet and slams into the Predacon ship, destroying it in a single hit. WHOA! He proceeds to beat all the Predacons to within an inch of their life. WHOA again! Tigerhawk is unstoppable! Until Tarantulus brings him down with an army of walking pen-lights. Guess who wakes up in a stasis web?
Nemesis part 1
Nemesis part 2
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