After Hanazawa Rui helps me out of the limousine, we stand for a few minutes as if we aren't sure where we're going. I can't help but stare at the gates leading to his estate. They've never felt so imposing before. This isn't the first time I've been here, but it doesn't matter..my knees feel like jelly anyway. Why the Hell am I so nervous? I can tell you why. It's because I haven't had to deal with all this before. The last time I was here, he hadn't declared his love for me. And just what was all that today? He's been so good about everything since we returned from New York. Why wait until now to make it all known? Is it because four months have passed and we still haven't heard from Doumiyouji? Everything that happened today is sinking like so much lead to the pit of my stomach. I feel out of it, like I'm caught in a surreal dream. Now why couldn't he have felt this way about me a year ago before I fell completely in love with Doumiyouji Tsukasa? Things would have been a lot less complicated. "Tsukushi, are you coming?" My train of thought is interrupted by his question. He's leaning against the open gate, studying me. "Huh..what?" I'm taken by surprise. "You are coming in, right?" "Oh.yeah.I promised." I answer weakly. At my response he ushers me in front of him, and I end up standing in front of the servants before he does. They seem a little surprised to see us. "Hanazawa-sama, you're home," He looks over at them. "So?" he queries. "Ummm..it's nothing." The servant answers, a touch hesitantly. "Well that's good. We'll be in the music room." He tells them dismissively, leading the way across the lobby to a closed door. I've only ever been in his room before--I've never been anywhere else in his house. I assumed it was traditional the whole way, but I can't imagine what a music room in a traditional Japanese house would look like, especially when he plays an instrument that's European in origin, not Japanese. I hurry across the entrance way after him, my zoori clattering against the wooden floor with every step I take. I can feel their eyes on our backs as I catch up to him and wonder what they're thinking. He opens the door to what I assume is the music room and motions for me to go in. I move round him and step through the door and end up being startled. I'm not in a room like I expected. Rather, I find myself in a corridor. Hanazawa Rui comes up beside me and gestures down the corridor to the door at the end. "That's the music room there, Tsukushi." He tells me. "It's not part of the original house." He adds, seeing the curiosity on my face. We walk along the corridor, and as he opens the door to the room he continues, "My father built it for my mother." "She plays an instrument too?" I ask as he fumbles for the light switch just inside the room. "Several." He answers as his fingers find the switch and we can see where we are. I can't play any instruments at all, so I can't help but feel a little inadequate and jealous. That feeling is magnified a little when I take in the sight before me. The music room is round and the high glass walls open to an amazing view of the gardens. There is a grand piano and various other instruments displayed on stands close to the chairs set around the music room. "Wow!" I exclaim, surprised to hear my voice carry round the room. The acoustics are amazing. "So, what was it that you wanted to share with me?" I get straight to the point, listening to my question echoing off the glass walls. "A song." He replies softly. "A song?" "Yes. Inspired by you--for you really, if you think about it. It's not finished yet but I'd like you to hear the first movement." "Really?" I wince--I must sound obtuse. He nods, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Really. Here, have a seat." He pulls a chair over behind me and sits me down on it. When I'm settled he walks over to where his violin rests, cradled in a display case, and takes it out. I watch him test and tune it, and realize my stomach feels funny. He's always seemed kind of annoyed when I interrupted his violin playing before, like I was destroying the solitary communion of his soul with his instrument. I feel strangely privileged but afraid at the same time. He's calling me Tsukushi, and now he's sharing his music with me. I can feel our relationship has moved to a new stage and I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that at the moment. I don't know if I'm ready. Hell, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready, what with the state my heart is in. "Okay, here goes." I'm brought back to reality by his voice cutting through my thoughts. I find myself sitting up straighter as he begins to play. The sound is high and sweet and the tune is gentle. He's not reading any music, so he must know it by heart. I guess that's to be expected when you're the composer, though. I watch him as he plays--his eyes are closed and he is lost in the music. I've never seen such a look of absolute rapture on his face before. A strange warm feeling washes over me as I listen to him. I inspired this? My God. I can't breathe all of a sudden. The music has changed again. Now it's lighthearted and lively--mischievous almost. Is this how he sees me? Sweet and lively? I watch his fingers move expertly over the strings as they produce the exquisite music I am caught up in, and again have a pang of regret about not knowing how to play even one instrument. But then, on the other hand, I can always cheer myself up with the thought that it's only a very select group of girls who have a song written for them. The music changes, slow and heartbreaking now. As I sit here listening to this beautiful glimpse of Hanazawa Rui's soul, I feel a lump forming in my throat and tears pricking at my eyes and struggle to get a hold of myself. I can't afford to break down. All too soon, it is over and I watch him, looking as if he's shaking off a trance. "So what do you think, Tsukushi? Do you like it?" he asks as he turns to put the violin back in its case. "It's beautiful, absolutely beautiful." I answer, my voice trembling a little. "I would say I have to agree." A woman's voice comes from behind me. I almost jump ten feet in the air, I'm so startled. Hanazawa Rui looks past me towards the door. I think it's safe to say he's almost as surprised as I am. I turn around slowly, half-afraid of what I'm going to see. From the look on Hanazawa Rui's face, I suspect the woman is a relative. "It's been a long time since we've heard you in here, Rui." The woman tells him. I'm finally able to get a glance of the person he's talking to. She's in her forties by the looks of it and has shoulder-length hair the same colour as Hanazawa Rui. I'm surprised to see she's Caucasian and not Japanese and dressed in an exquisite pant suit. Why do I find myself sitting stock still and hoping I'll go unnoticed? "What can I say? I was uninspired for a while." He shrugs at her. They are so casual with each other it makes me uneasy. "So, you have inspiration now?" She flicks a cursory glance at me and I wince mentally at the question. I hate the thought of finding myself as the object of her scrutiny, especially when I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that she's his mother. "Yes I do." He answers. Just three little words, but they say so much. His voice was strong and firm when he answered. She turns to study me further and I'm caught in a serene yet measuring gaze that makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I'm being catalogued and filed for future reference. "Your father is on a call at the moment, why don't we save formal introductions until he's done." Formal introductions? With his father? My knees turn to water and I'm eternally grateful I'm sitting down. She's got to be kidding, right? "Sure." He answers, nonchalantly. How can he be so casual about this? He continues the conversation. "When did you get back?" "A little over an hour ago. We were finishing supper when we heard your violin. Your father was coming to the music room with me when a business call came through from New York...It's been a while since you've seen each other, you know." "I know," He replies quietly. I feel like I'm eavesdropping and look down at the floor below me, making a show of studying my feet. He walks over to where I sit, trance-like, in my chair and holds a hand out to me. I take it, glad he's there to help me get to my feet. I'm not sure I could do it on my own. I lean heavily on him as I stand, battling down the butterflies surging inside me. Why did I agree to come back here with him? I should've begged off and went straight home after the fireworks display--then I could have contented myself with the thought that today was an almost perfect day. Now, instead, here I am dreading the next half hour of my life. The woman I'm now sure is his mother leads us back to the main house and my discomfort grows with every step we take. |
| Meet the Parents |
| By: Karen McVicker A.K.A. The Real Dedanaan |
| Chapter Five(a) |
| To be continued... |