| Hanazawa Rui is pulling me along after him again. I try not to pay attention to the stares coming our way as we wend our way through the crush of rush hour pedestrians. We must be a sight, the pair of us -- he's dressed western style, toting a bag from a high- class boutique and I'm being trailed behind, wearing a kimono. "Stop, Hanazaa Rui! What's the big rush? Baka!!! I can't run in these stupid sandals!!" I must be getting through to him because he slows down to a fast walk, even though he doesn't stop. "Where are we going now?" He glances back at me and gives me that infuriating smile again, but says nothing. It's funny but I feel self-conscious and elated at the same time. This is my very own kimono. I keep stealing glances down at it as we walk and I delight in the sound of silk rustling with every step I take. I still can't believe what he did -- he didn't even blink at the cost, even though I almost choked when I heard how much it was. He just smiled at me and paid for it, then accepted the bag they'd put my uniform in along with their thanks for his business. I know I shouldn't, but I always feel bad on New Year's Day when I go to the shrines with Yuuki to pray. She always looks so lovely, dressed in wa-fuka, and even though I'm wearing my best clothes they always feel shabby next to a kimono. It will be so neat to be able to go wearing a kimono of my own this year. Does Hanazawa Rui know how much I appreciate this gift? I did thank him, but somehow the words aren't enough. He suddenly stops at the curb and raises the hand holding the bag with my uniform to hail a taxi. One fast driver beats the others out and glides to a stop next to where we stand. Hanazawa Rui helps me get in as it's a little awkward with all this on. When we're both in the taxi and the doors are closed, the driver asks us where we want to go. I look over at Hanazawa rui -- I haven't got a clue. "Meiji Jingu." Hanazawa Rui answers. The driver nods and we slip into traffic. "The Meiji Shrine?" I ask Hanazawa rui. "Why?" "We've got to make some good Shichi-Go-San memories for you and where else to do it right than at the Meiji Shrine. And we've got to do it all before sundown, too, and it's already almost 4:00." "...."I'm speechless. This was his his idea? This is why he bought me the kimono? I'm so touched he'd do this for me. Had he really heard the disappointment in my voice today when I related my childhood memories to him?" "Thank you, Hanazawa Rui." I say softly, when I finally find my voice. He reaches over and takes my hand in his, squeezing it gently. "You're welcome, Makino Tsukushi." I smile when I hear him use both my names the way I use his. He doesn't release my hand like I expect him to though, and I end up spending the whole cab ride hoping he doesn't notice how fiercely I'm blushing as I try to figure out what's going on in his mind. His fingers, interlaced with my own, are cool but they soon warm up thanks to me. I'm very aware of his touch and how his hand feels on my leg through the silk of the Kimono. How much longer will it take to get there? "Okay, we're here." The driver announces as we finally slow to a stop at the end of Omotesando, the Pilgim's Main Path. When Hanazawa Rui finally lets go of my hand to pay the driver, I stare at it like I've been branded. It's harder to get out of the car dressed like this than it was to get in. It's a good job Hanazawa Rui stepped out first as he's there to catch me when I get tangled up in my skirts and almost fall on my face. When he pulls me up straight and sets me back on my feet, his eyes darken and it almost seems as if he's fighting the urge to kiss me. He's still holding on to my forearms. My God! It's a little too close for comfort and I step away from him. In the past four months there hasn't been a moment like it -- he's been considerate and supportive, but little more than that. It's almost like he's been waiting for me to decide when I'm ready to take our relationship further. "Shall we go?" I ask, turning to look for the forest beyond the footbridge of Harajuku Station. The torii gate is through the trees and then it's about a ten minute walk to the shrine from there. I have to say something, anything, to fill the silence between us. "It's a fair walk and I'm not sure how fast I'll be able to go in these." I stick my feet out from beneath the skirts of the kimono to draw attention to the zoori I'm wearing. "Well, let's get going then." He says, reaching out to take my hand again. This time he's not in such a rush though, and we join the stream of families going to present their daughters and sons for Shichi-Go-San. The children look really cute in their miniture wa-fuku and some parents are also dressed traditionally so I don't feel as out of place here as I did when we came out of the boutique. There's something more intimate about things now than there was earlier. maybe it's because I'm aware he's doing all this for me. Maybe it's because we're walking like a couple out for a romantic stroll rather than me being dragged behind like a sack of rice. The thought makes me flush again -- we must look like a couple to everyone else here. I'm shaken out of my inner monologue by the realization that Hanazawa Rui has picked up the pace. He's dragging me over to one of the little booths selling charms along the edges of the path. "How much?" he asks the miko, as he leans over to see which kind of charm it is. He pays for it and turns to present it to me. "Here we go, Tsukushi, this one's for happiness." He presses the charm into one of my hands with a smile, then leads me by the other hand to the next booth. Did I hear right? Did he just call me Tsukushi? It feels like we've just stepped over a threshold I didn't realize existed. Or maybe I did and was trying not to think about it. "And this one's for health!" He hands me a second charm and we move on to the next booth over. A third charm is handed to me. "And this is for prosperity!" By the time we've reached the shrine, my cupped hands are filled with charms. "Hanazawa Rui, where am I supposed to put all these?" I ask, half exasperated yet unable to wipe the smile off my face. He turns me around, fishes out the little furuko that matches the kimono from where it's hiding inside my sleeve and pulls it open. "Put them in here." He instructs me. I drop the charms into the little bag and he closes it, making sure everything is securely inside before letting it drop to dangle hidden in my sleeve again. "We should join the queue to visit the shrine." He steers me by the elbow into the line up. As we wait our turn, I content myself with watching the children returning from their presentations. They're loud and happy, chattering excitedly with their families about their experiences today. I smile to myself, identifying the different personalities peeking through each perfectly costumed boy and girl as they walk past where we wait. That little guy there is a scruff, you can tell by the way he doesn't care that he looks sloppy. That little girl is a tomboy -- she's chaffing in her kimono, you can tell by the look on her face. And that cocky little spoiled brat walking by like he's so sure of himself is probably what Doumiyouji was like at Shichi-Go San. I close my eyes at the thought. Doumiyouji. There's an ache in my heart again. Why did I have to think of him? Why can't I go a single day without thinking about him? Every day that he's been away has been a day when he hasn't kept the promise he made me. When will it stop hurting to think about it? I look over at Hanazawa Rui, standing patiently next to me, waiting for our turn at the shrine. I can't help but feel better, he's always there when I need a friend. He's humming that tune again, the one he said he was writing. "I guess I didn't realize I had a muse to inspire me until recently." Those were his very words. I'd never seen the look he had in his eyes when he said it before. He told me I inspire him to make music? Wow! That's something I never expected to hear in my llifetime. It's flattering actually -- well, if it's a nice song that is -- and it does sound like a nice song. I wonder if he'll ever play it for me. I'm suddenly pulled out of my reverie by the shrill voice of a young girl yelling. "Nii-chan!!!! Come on, hurry up! If you don't hurry up, I'm going to phone Papa and tell him you're ruining my special day!" I look around to see who is so upset and find myself staring at a familiar face, but I don't think he's seen me yet, he sees occupied. I tug on Hanazawa Rui's sleeve to draw his attention to where I'm looking. "Look there, Hanazawa Rui, it's Mimasaka." "So it is. Oi, Akira!" Mimasaka looks around when he hears his name and seems startled to see Hanazawa Rui calling him. "Rui! What are you doing here?" He's starting to walk towards us, leaving his little sisters standing with hands on their hips and frowns on their faces. "Nii-chan!!! What do you think you are doing?" It's the same voice as before and it belongs to the smaller of Mimasaka's sisters. "Mimasaka-san, don't you think you'd better look after your sisters?" I can't help but blurt out the question, she looks so frustrated. He turns, suddenly focusing on my face. "Ehhh..Makino? Is that you?" Between the kimono and the new hair, he seems a little startled by my appearance. "Wow!" "AKIRAAAA!!!!" the little girl is exasperated. "Yes, Minu." He sounds tired. "Come here for a second, girls." They obey, but the little one has a dubious look on her face. "Nemu, Minu, you remember meeting Hanazawa Rui and Makino Tsukushi before, right?" They nod. "By the way, what are you two doing here?" "We're here for Shichi-Go_San, same as you." Hanazawa Rui answers. "So where are the kids?" Mimasaka asks, puzzled. "There are no kids..We're the kids." Hanazawa Rui answers, laughing. "I don't know about you two." He tells us, but he's smiling. "Anyway, Minu here wants to visit the Inner Gardens," he cocks a thumb in the younger girl's direction, "even though nothing's in bloom at this time of year. If you want, we could meet after you visit the shrine and we can walk back together." The look in his eyes says he'd appreciate the company of someone his own age and the quiet desperation of his suggestion makes me smile. "Sure, that sounds nice," I answer, "right, Hanazawa Rui?" He nods. "We'll meet you back here, then." Akira tells us as he begins to shepherd his sisters in the direction of the Inner Gardens. "What was your Shichi-Go-San like, HanazawaRui?" I ask, making conversation because it looks like we may be in line for a while yet. "Like almost everyone else's, I suppose." He answers with a shrug. "I only have a few memories of it because I was just four and I was still pretty autistic at the time. We came here, of course, because that's what the families with money do." I look over at him. He doesn't mention his childhood struggle with autism much -- most of what I know about it has been related by the other members of the F4. They told me that before he met Shizuka, he was very quiet and reticent and kept to himself most of the time, apart from them even when he was with them. In a way, I suppose, it has shaped the man he is today. Even now, compared to friends, he's pretty low key and serene -- although there's something about me that tends to bring out the carefree comedian in him. I wonder what it is. "Was it hard for you with the autism? When you were little, I mean." I hope he won't be angry because I've brought this up and am glad his expression doesn't change. "That's a hard one to call. How I was when I was little was normal for me because I'd never known life to be any different. If it was hard on anyone, i think it was my parents. The son is supposed to grow up to take his father's place and I'm the heir to the Hanazawa Corporation. I think my mother dealt with it better than my father but then again, she and I always do seem to understand what the other is feeling." His gaze is distant, like he's touching memories long buried and undisturbed. "Hey, Hanazawa Rui!" "Hmm? What, Tsukushi?" There, he said it again -- he called me Tsukushi -- the last time wasn't a slip. "This is also a great opportunity to make good Shichi-Go-San memories for you, don't you think?" "You know, you're right. Let's both make this a day to remeber." I'm thrilled he agrees but startled at my reaction at the same time. You know, it's funny but I can't help but feell like my emotions are betraying me. Should it be so easy to be thrilled by him? I keep seeing Doumiyouji in the back of my mind, the way he looked when I turned my back on him at the airport, returning to Japan where I knew it wouldn't hurt as much. But, don't get me wrong, it still hurt like hell -- at first -- now it's been so long I don't know if it's genuine grief or just habit. I'm so confused... |
| Meet the Parents |
| By: Karen McVicker A.K.A. Dedanaan |
| Chapter Three |