I lie in a pool of darkness
Slowly my strength fails and I fall
Into the murky depths below
And I don't care
I never did
Am I still breathing?
Somebody should check
I don't think you'd bother too
I'm just one person
Why should you care?
A rainbow shines across the sky
Colors of life in my world
Colors of beauty
Colors of my life tainted in purity
I don�t see it anymore.
If I wake up dead tomorrow
Will they know why?
Will they notice my dead body?
Will they give me a funeral?
Sometimes I don�t know.
I can feel my heart ripping
I�ll die young
Bloody, and painful
It�s always like that in my dreams.
In the end.
I sometimes wonder
Are they even there?
Do they even care?
The answer's always the same
No, they don't.
Death can't come quick enough
But still I lie in wait
My life will be the death of me.
Correction.
It already is the death of me.
I wonder sometimes
If I was ever alive
I can't remember my good memories
They all fade with time
Everything does.
The truth lies covered in lies
I may never find it
My life may remain forever pointless
Do I even care?
No, not really.
Some days I feel like a walking ghost
No one sees me
I'm invisible to them
They can't see the tears.
They never could.
I'll lie in bed for hours, thinking
Thinking of my life
And thinking of my death
And I wonder...
What's the difference?
When I look at when I'm happy
It makes me cry
Because I don't remember it
Video tapes of happiness last forever
My memories last five minutes
You all see my smile
You don't see my tears
They flow like rivers
Slowly they'll drown me
You can always breathe
I breathe toxin and deadly sins
Empathic, I'll take away your pain
I'll feel for you
I'll die for your mistakes
For your pain
I know I'll die and burn in hell
More pain awaits me
Why do I stall?
Why extend my eternity of torture?
I don't know
I want to be released
I want to let go of everything
I want to give you back your pain
But you won't take it back.
Watch me struggle
So I smile and laugh and say life's fine
I wear a mask of perfect perfection
And you believe me
Always acting, my career never ends
...Life never ends
This dreams never ends
I want to die
I want to wake up
In the garden, my flowers are dead
So is my air
The physical pain of my mental pain
Burns me from the inside
You don't listen to me
You never did
You listen to my mask.
My world is morbid
It's dark and dead
Just like me
I guess that's why it's my world
My sanctuary
Listen to my song
My real song
It's a mantra of my darkest dream
Of my facade and my death
It's my real life
Do I have a savoir?
A guardian angel of sorts?
Where is my religion?
Where do I stand?
I am the tourniquet
My own savior
I'll save myself
By throwing myself directly into the inferno
I'll save you the trouble
It is my destiny.
Give your pain to me
I'll take it with me to hell
Rid the world of something unwanted.
I am unwanted.
Always was.
The truth is
I don't understand
I did and then I forgot
My tourniquet rejected me
So I am my own.
I will be evanescent
I think it is all I can be
I'm not meant to do more
Am I?
My evanescence
Am I your pain?
I've never asked, but I've always wondered
I'm a burden to you, to all of you
So I take that pain
And you don't care
I scream out every morning
But you�re not there to hear it
You never were
You�re leaving me here
Leaving me alone.
When you're near me you must feel pain
Or you'd be around more
You hate what I've become
What I've always been.
Hatred of me, a demon.
Don't tell me your about your pains
I have your pain
I stole them from you
So you could feel better
Why don't you?
Say the words behind my back
She's weird, she's gothic, she's dark
She should die and burn in hell
Say it to my face 'cause it's nothing new
I've already heard you.
I want freedom
A release
Eliminate the pain until it's not even there
Not a drop of it left.
So I can't feel at all.
The knife slides cleanly over human skin
Pure perfection with sinful infections
Slowly tainting
Now rapidly spreading
Contamination.
Angels tears and demonic acid flood my room
From the sinful slits on my arms
I drown
I end your pain
And continue my anguish.