It has been reported that the First Spouse is in bed for the last so many days and is, therefore, temporarily out of action. There have been several theories regarding his mysterious illness.

The plain fact is that Asif read the London Times and discovered that his wife is the most powerful woman in the world. Naturally, being a epitome of a macho man, he just couldn’t take it and thus the illness. That’s all there is to it.

Yours etc :

MIKE BAXTER