Loujack: �Being accompanied to the ring by Mr. Bernie Lomax, and weighing in at a combined weight of 590 pounds; hailing from Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada, Philthy Phil, and Fast Eddie�The Bastards!!!!!!�

�Go you Packers, Go, Go� by The Weisenheimers plays as Mr. Cheese begins to walk down the aisle to the boos of the crowd. Mr. Cheese wears a smile, as usual and begins to do his best impersonation of Mr. Pickle, as he heads to the ring. The fans begin to throw empty soda cups and half-eaten hot dogs at the yellow grappler.

Loujack: �Making his way to the ring from Green Bay, WI, and weighing in at 227 pounds; he is the ultimate Packer backer, and Mr. Pickle�s number one fan, the STILL undefeated�The Amazing Mr. Cheese.�

Mr. Cheese enters the ring, climbs the turnbuckle, and begins to shake his head from side to side, when he is hit square in the face with a full cup of soda. Cheese stumbles off of the turnbuckle, and staggers around the ring, as the Bastards point and laugh at him. He pulls his hood back off of his head, takes the microphone from Loujack, and sends him out of the ring. Mr. Cheese regards his opponents, and the crowd as well, before he begins to speak.

Mr. Cheese: �You know, all I wanted was a month in this federation to show you people what I could do. I begged and pleaded for a long time, camped out in front of the Boneyard, sent in letters, and videotapes. Then it happened, I got the call from the MAN himself, Mr. Pickle, who said come on in, and let�s see what you have got. Now, after a month, what do I have to show for it? A whole lot of bruises and sore muscles that�s what. For some reason, you fans, and the boys in the back, have all turned against me, and I can�t figure out why. I mean not even that loser; the Rat Bastard wants to be my friend. I think it is because I am the ONLY person to go undefeated in this little federation. That�s right, no one likes me because you are all jealous of me. This was supposed to be a tag match, with a mystery partner for me, but no one wants to tag with the gouda man so I guess I�ll just kick these two monkey�s asses myself!!!!!!�

Upon hearing that, the Bastards quit laughing, and attack Cheese with hard punches and kicks. They beat him down to the mat, and tear his robe off his back and toss it in shreds to the outside of the ring. Then they whip Cheese to the ropes, and take him off his feet with a double clothesline, before climbing through the ropes to the ring apron. The Bastards wait for Cheese to get to his feet, before launching themselves off of the top rope, to execute a double-springboard shoulder tackle on the fool. They give Cheese several finger gestures, before Eddie exits the ring, and the bell sounds the start of the match.

John: �I think Mr. Cheese has finally driven off of the deep end!!! Taking on these two in a handicap match, I hope his insurance is not only paid, but pretty damn good as well!!!�

Phil begins to unload on Cheese, hitting him with punches, head butts, and European uppercuts, as well as several variations of the DDT. Cheese occasionally lands a punch, or an eye poke, but he just can�t stop the hard case�s assault. After a minute or two, Phil lifts Cheese up onto his shoulders, and tags Eddie, who climbs to the top turnbuckle. Eddie comes off the top rope, and nails Cheese with a flying clothesline, flipping him off of Phil�s shoulders, and causing him to land hard on his head.

Bruce: �We may actually want to get someone down here to stop this.�

The Bastards spend the next several minutes hitting Mr. Cheese with every version of the DDT, as well as several other moves. The crowd cheers loudly as Phil and Eddie take turns beating the yellow wonder to a total pulp, causing him to stumble around the ring in a daze. Eddie tags in Phil, and then whips Cheese to the ropes; he catches Mr. Cheese, and presses him into the air, and the Bastards hit him with a double � turn neckbreaker. They both begin to taunt him as he lies on the mat, face down and trembling.

John: �What a move!!!!! They call that maneuver �No Voices in the Sky�, and I bet Mr. Cheese can�t hear a damn thing right now. This has to be it.�

Suddenly, the lights go out, and a huge display of green fireworks explodes off of Bernie�s roof, bathing the whole ring area in green light. The fireworks continue for about a minute, before two spotlights focus on the roof of Bernie�s house. Mr. Bungle�s �Ma Meeshka Mow Skwoz� begins to blare, as Mr. Pickle stands between two large columns of green sparks, which shoot up into the air. The crowd begins to cheer and scream as the Commissioner dances to his music, and points to the ring.

John: �What the hell is Mr. Pickle doing? Wait a minute, he jumped off the roof!!!!!!!!�he�s�he�s on a zip-line. The crazy bastard is riding a zip-line, and the crowd is going nuts!�

The lights come back on, as Mr. Pickle rides his zip-line down towards the ring. A small fire can be seen on Bernie�s roof, where the fireworks originated. Mr. Pickle rides the Zip-line some fifty yards from the roof to the ring, smiling the whole way. When he gets to the ring, he comes to rest on a turnbuckle, and looses himself from his harness, before jumping into the ring. Mr. Pickle runs around the ring, shaking his head, and swing his arms around. The crowd continues to applaud as he runs around the ring like a madman. He stops in front of the Bastards, and shakes each one of their hands.

Bruce: �Is Mr. Pickle going to tag with Mr. Cheese? What the hell is going on?�

The referee steps up to Mr. Pickle, and begins to talk to him, pointing at a now standing Mr. Cheese. Pickle shakes his head, and begins to exit the ring, as Phil crosses towards Mr. Cheese. Eddie takes his place on the apron, as his brother begins to punch Gouda boy. Mr. Pickle runs around the outside of the ring, doing a whole lap, before sliding under the bottom rope, and getting between Phil and Cheese. Phil backs up a step, and regards the Commissioner, who spins around, drops to his knee, and nails Mr. Cheese with a low blow. The referee sees this, and calls for the bell immediately.

Loujack: �Winner by disqualification, and STILL undefeated�The Amazing Mr. Cheese.�

Phil and Eddie begin to argue with the referee, but Bernie calls them off, pointing at the fire on his roof. The Bastards then run off with Bernie, towards his house. Mr. Pickle climbs the turnbuckle, and shakes his head from side to side. He does this in all four corners, as the crowd cheers like mad, then he grabs a microphone and heads over to Mr. Cheese.

John: �What the hell is going on!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!�

Pickle helps Mr. Cheese to his feet, and looks him over, while talking to him. Mr. Cheese nods his head, a look of confusion on his face, as Mr. Pickle raises his hand to the boos of the crowd. Mr. Pickle then begins to speak.

Mr. Pickle: �Well there you go buddy, one month in the MOW. You my friend are the ONLY person to go undefeated in this federation. But I�m sorry to say that we will NOT be picking up your contract�YOU�RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!�

Mr. Pickle tosses the microphone to the mat, and exits the ring to the cheers of the crowd. Mr. Cheese stands in the ring, a look of heartbreak on his face, as the crowd begins to quiet down. He bends down and picks up the microphone, as tears begin to well up in his eyes. He stands in the middle of the ring, and looks out at the silent crowd; he lifts the microphone to his mouth and speaks through the sniffles.

Mr. Cheese: �Well�I um�good-bye everyone��

The crowd begins to laugh, boo, and throw all manner of garbage into the ring. Mr. Cheese runs for the ropes, and tries to exit the ring, as he is pelted with soda cups, food, used napkins, and every other piece of trash you could imagine being present at a carnival. As he tries to exit the ring, he slips and tumbles to the ground, causing more riotous laughter and booing from the fans who begin to chant.

CROWD: �GET OUT LOSER, clap, clap�clap, clap, clap!!!! GET OUT LOSER, clap, clap�clap, clap, clap!!!!!�

The crowd repeats this chant, and shear volume is deafening, as they continue to throw garbage at the yellow goof. Mr. Cheese gets up off of the ground, and runs as fast as he can out of the area, crying the whole way.

John: �Oh my God!!!!! Mr. Pickle causes the Bastards their first loss, then almost incites a riot by firing Mr. Cheese. What else is going to happen tonight?�

Bruce: �I don�t know John, I just don�t know. I would feel sorry for Mr. Cheese, but he brought it on himself. In this business you need to be original, not a total rip off. I say good riddance to bad rubbish!�

John: �I agree with you there Bruce, I for one am happy to see that idiot leave. However, on a more happy side of things, we have been here at Bernie�s home for the whole weekend, and this little carnival was a total success. We would like to take this time to go back to this weekend, and show you folks some of the happenings here at the Weekend at Bernie�s.�

The WEEKEND AT BERNIE�S logo appears on the screen, then fades away to show an aerial view of Bernie Lomax�s 20-acre estate and beautiful white two-story home. Several semi trucks bearing the name of �The Verne Carpenter Carnival� as well as several MOW tractor-trailers pull up to the home. The video footage begins to speed up to six times normal speed, as the trucks begin to unload the wrestling ring, bleachers, and carnival attractions. The sped up footage shows Mr. Pickle, wearing a green construction helmet, directing the operation. Bernie walks up, shaking his head and yelling, Mr. Pickle just nods his head and continues to direct the various crews of workers. The ring is set up fifty yards from the back of Bernie�s house, and is surrounded by a huge structure of bleachers to accommodate 6,000 fans, huge light posts are put up and the p.a. system is set up as well. Two huge water slides are erected on the edge of the lake, and an eighty-foot roller coaster loop is seen rising into the sky. Bernie comes up to Mr. Pickle and points at the slides and the loop; the footage slows down to normal speed.

Bernie: �What the hell is this thing?�

Pickle: �It�s a loop-de-loop, you dope!�

Bernie: �What is it doing here? It�s huge.�

Mr. Pickle: �Yep, eighty feet of looping fun. Hey, we didn�t have enough dough to finish the whole roller coaster, and your yard probably isn�t big enough anyways. However, we already paid for the loop, so I thought, �what the hay, it looks cool�, it�s gonna light up real nice at night, so I figured we put it up any way. The thing is, you can�t just rent a roller coaster, or a loop for that matter, and so you own it. It will be staying right here in your yard, cool huh, your very own loop-de-loop!�

Bernie: �What am I gonna do with the damn thing? I don�t need a big loop sitting in my back yard.�

Pickle: �Well hook you TV. up to it, I bet it makes a great antennae!�

Bernie: �I have a satellite dish, I don�t need an antennae!�

Pickle: �Oh well, I�m sure you�ll think of something, you�re a smart one!�

Mr. Pickle walks away, yelling instructions to some workers, leaving Bernie to stare at the steel monstrosity being raised in his yard. He then looks at the two huge waterslides, and then back at Pickle who is walking away, yelling.

Bernie: �What about those slides? Do I have to keep those too?�

The footage speeds up again, to show other rides being pulled into Bernie�s yard; rides like The Teacup, The Tilt-a-whirl, The Spinner, and various other carnival rides. The carnival also begins to set up attractions on the midway like The Ring-toss, The Coin in a bottle toss, The Milk bottle booth, and many others. Several of the attractions are set up to be run by MOW superstars, these include a haunted house for the Skull Legion, and a haunted house for the Evil Dead, a fortune booth/occult novelties for the Dark Ones, a magic show stage for Jester, the �DUNK DOOM� booth, Candyman�s Sweet Treats concession stand, the Ferris wheel and Carousel, which the Rat Bastard is told to run. We then see MOW superstars heading into Bernie�s house with their gear, and luggage as they take over his home for the locker room. A clock appears on the bottom of the screen which says: FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 1ST 6:00 PM: and throngs of people are seen entering Bernie�s yard to enjoy the carnival. The fast-speed footage continues to roll, as the clock counts the hours, showing the fans enjoying the weekend�s festivities. Occasionally, the footage slows to regular speed to show the goings on at the carnival.

DUNK DOOM BOOTH

We see a small crowd of people, gathered around a booth that says �Dunk Doom, $3, three balls. Doom is sitting in a dunking chamber, over a large tank of water. To the left of the silent giant, there is a target attached to a steel arm, and the back of the tank. Warlock is shouting through a microphone at the gathered crowd, and motioning toward Doom. A small child, about ten or twelve years old, steps up and gives Warlock three dollars. Warlock hands the boy three baseballs, and points at the target.

Warlock: �Alright little boy, it�s real simple. Hit the target, and Doom gets dunked, let�s go, toss one of them balls.�

The little boy tosses the ball and misses, Warlock begins to yell, and the boy tries again. The boy�s second ball misses by like three feet. Warlock looses it.

Warlock: �What the hell was that? Hit the target you little shortsighted simpleton. How hard is it, to hit, it�s two feet around. It�s not like its a little itty-bitty thing is it? NO, it�s not; it�s quite large actually. NOW HIT IT, YOU LITTLE PANSY!!!!!!!!!�

The boy throws the third ball as hard as he can, almost falling down from the force. The ball sails over the entire booth, and Doom stays dry. Warlock is not pleased, and berates the boy, who begins to cry, as his father walks up.

Warlock: �YOU THROW LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU WRETCHED LITTLE WORM!!!!!!!! GEEZ, A BLIND GUY COULD HIT THAT THING!!!!!�

Boy�s Father: �Hey!!! Quit yelling at my son, who the hell do you think you are anyway? He tried, he failed, leave him alone!!!�

Warlock: �Oh for heaven�s sake I was just trying to give him some constructive criticism, I didn�t know the little panty waste was gonna start blubbering and bawling!�

Boy�s Father: �Panty waste? That�s it pal, I�m gonna teach you a lesson.�

Warlock: �Hey!!!!!! Is that the TV Title belt I see under your shirt? Hey, Doom!!!! This guy has YOUR TV Title.�

Doom looks up, and begins to try to climb out of the booth. The little boy�s dad looks at Doom, and then at Warlock, who smiles at him. The father swallows hard, picks up his son and begins to run for his life, as Warlock points and laughs. Warlock then stops Doom from getting out of the tank.

Warlock: �No, No, NO!!!!!!!! I was mistaken Doom, he didn�t have YOUR belt. Get back in the tank, all right who�s next? Three dollars for three throws, let�s go people.�

The footage speeds up to show several hours of fans getting prizes for dunking Doom, and getting yelled at for failure. The footage also shows the TV Title replica in the bottom of the tank, which Warlock used to keep the big guy at the booth.

The footage shows people running out of both haunted houses, screaming in terror, as well as a huge line at Candyman�s food stand. Jester�s magic show is a big hit with the fans all weekend long, and people are seen leaving the Dark Ones Voodoo Hut with looks of disgust and confusion. Rat Bastard is shown yelling at children and taunting them on the Ferris wheel and Carousel. We also see MOW stars enjoying themselves over the weekend; Hellfire is seen chasing people on the paddle boats, Jester runs around tossing cr�me pies at people, Rat Bastard walks around smoking and drinking with a sign hanging off his neck that reads �Show your Tits!!�, and Creature is seen enjoying Bernie�s hot-tub and swimming pool.

Bernie is shown several times just walking around, and shaking his head, or yelling at superstars in his house, he has also began to drink quite a bit. The clock on the screen continues to count down to the wrestling matches. When the clock gets to:

MONDAY SEPTEMBER 4TH, 12:45:, we see Rat Bastard standing in front of the Carousel and Ferris wheel. Both rides or full of kids, and are running; he looks around at the milling crowd, the kids on the rides, and his watch, before shrugging his shoulders and walking off. He leaves both rides running, and full of children.

The footage continues to show the carnival in full swing right up until the beginning of the pay per view. People on the midway are seen stopping to watch the event on the many closed circuit, big screen TVs. The WEEKEND AT BERNIE�S logo appears again, for a few seconds, then fades out to show John and Bruce, live at ringside.

John: �Well folks, as you can see we have had a hell of a time this weekend, and the fun is really just beginning!�

Bruce: �Right you are John, because now we are at the real reason we are here today, the big pay per view spectacular. Brought to you as only the MOW can deliver!�

John: �I�m told that our cameras have caught up with Mr. Cheese as he is trying to find Mr. Lomax.�

The camera is shown following Mr. Cheese through the halls of Bernie�s house, carrying a beat up duffle bag. He walks up to Bernie in the front hallway and begins to prattle at him, as Bernie is drinking a cool Budweiser. Over their shoulders, you can see the Skull Legion in Bernie�s living room, moving his furniture around.

Mr. Cheese: �Oh Mr. Lomax, am I glad to see you. Did you see what happened out there? I was duped, I thought Mr. Pickle was my friend, and look what he did, he fired me. Isn�t there anything you can do for me?�

Bernie: �(B-U-R-PPPPPPPP!!!!!!!) Get out of my house you dumbass. Hey, Brimstone put that down!! It�s expensive!!!�

Mr. Cheese looks on as Bernie runs into his living room, takes a vase away from Brimstone, and begins to yell at him. Cheese bows his head and sighs before exiting the house through the front door.

Once outside we see two African Americans in orange outfits spray-painting a huge mural on Bernie�s garage door. They regard Cheese for a second and then continue what they were doing. The Bad Ass Assassins, Akira Komatsu, Fireball Jackson are in the driveway, shooting craps. Mr. Cheese walks past them on his way to his taxicab, but kicks the dice and money as he goes by. The four of them get up and begin to yell at the yellow loser, who argues right back. It doesn�t take long before they are mad as hell, and begin to pound the crap out of him. They beat him to the ground, stomp on him, bash his head into the side of the cab, and then give him a wedgie and lock him in the trunk. Fireball walks up to the driver of the cab, who is yelling at them.

Fireball: �Shut your mouth and get this sack of (bleep) outa here before bust your head open!!!�

The cab squeals its tires as it speeds out of the driveway and down the street at a very unsafe speed. The four wrestlers laugh and begin to continue their game. Akira notices Mr. Cheese�s duffle bag, picks it up, and then puts it in one of Bernie�s garbage cans.

The camera moves back into the house, and shows Bernie in the kitchen pouring himself a stiff drink. The door opens and Creature enters the house, he is wearing a g-string bathing suit, which does nothing for his fat, hairy physique. He is also wearing diving flippers, and an inflatable horsey floatation ring around his ample waist. Water drips off of him, as he is totally soaked, while he walks to the sink and begins to fill up his super-soaker. Bernie just stares at the sight as Creature fills the water gun, and turns to face him. Creature fires the gun at Bernie, and then screams �CANNONBALL!!!!!!!!� before running out the door, towards the pool. Seconds later a huge splash can be heard, as well as voices and laughter.

Bernie: �I did NOT need to see that.�

Bernie swallows his drink in one gulp and then begins to pour himself another, shaking his head the whole time. Various crashes and thumps can be heard throughout the house as he tries to drown his sorrows. The camera then returns us to the broadcast position, where Bruce and John are laughing hysterically.

John: � Yikes!!!!!!!! Did you see the rear end on that guy? He should definitely look into the �Buns of Steel� video series. Well on to the next match folks, what have we got Bruce?�

Bruce: �Well the next match is a three-way elimination with three of our towering seven footers. Mr. Pickle has dubbed this the �Sideshow� match because of the size of the competitors.�

MATCH 2

Sideshow Giant Match

Loujack: �Making his way to the ring at this time from San Andreas, CA, and weighing in at 391 pounds; he represents the Skull Legion, and is the Master of the Great Quake, the earth shaking�Tremor!�

�Safety Dance� by Men Without Hats starts to play as the G-4 walks out of the staging area and does a few dance steps before stalking to the ring. The crowd cheers the big guy, and spray beer at him.

Loujack: �Coming to the ring from Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada, and weighing in at 386 pounds; he is Mr. Pickle�s personal super hero, let�s hear it for The G-4!!!�

Iron Fire�s �When the Heroes Fall� begins to play, signaling the entrance of Archangel. The crowd cheers the big man as he walks to the ring, staring intently at his opponents.

Loujack: �Standing at 7�4� and weighing in at 405 pounds, he is the emissary of the light�Archangel!!!�

John: �This should be a good one, these guys are huge!!!!�

Tremor and Archangel collide in the center of the ring and begin to pound at each other as G-4 stands in the corner and watches their battle. The two giants wail on each other with tremendous force, but when Archangel begins to get the advantage, G-4 nails him with a big clothesline. Tremor regards G-4, who signals towards Archangel, and stomps him down. G-4 and Tremor then deliver a double powerbomb, and a double piledriver. They then begin to take turns assaulting Archangel, Tremor uses power moves like sidewalk slams, powerslams, and powerbombs; G-4 uses his agility and speed to land missile dropkicks, and guillotine leg drops from the top rope, as well as various other moves.

Bruce: �G-4 and Tremor seem to have formed some sort of alliance here, who would have thought?�

Tremor hits Archangel with the Great Quake, and goes for the pin, which G-4 breaks up with a boot to Tremor�s head. G-4 watches Tremor get to his feet, but gets driven down with a rising clothesline. Tremor then whips Archangel into the corner, and follows him in with a running avalanche, then begins to choke him with his boot. G-4 gets to his feet, and backs into the opposite corner, then takes a running start and nails Tremor with a handspring back-elbow to the head. The force of the move sends Tremor over the top rope, to the ring apron. When he gets to his feet, G-4 knocks him to the ground with a high flipping dropkick. Once Tremor is down on the ground stunned, G-4 pulls Archangel out of the corner, and drives him to the mat with a DVD. Then he begins to taunt the crowd, and picks Archangel up by his hair, and plants him in the middle of the ring with�The Holy Cross. G-4 then drops down and scores the pinfall, before Tremor can break up the count.

John: �G-4 finishes off Archangel with the Holy Cross? What is that all about?�

Back in the ring, Tremor and G-4 are exchanging blows, as the referee sends Archangel out. Archangel exits the ring, but does not head to the backstage area; he stands outside the ring instead, staring a hole through the G-4.

Bruce: �Archangel does not look pleased that G-4 used his own move to get the first pin in this elimination style match.�

As Archangel watches the action in the ring, G-4 and Tremor put on a hell of a match, exchanging moves, and gaining and losing the advantage several times. Both men hit many power moves, and both men attempt several covers, only to achieve near falls. As the two exchange hard right hands, they move around the ring, and end up against the ropes. Archangel reaches in, grabs G-4�s leg, trips him to the mat, and then drags him out of the ring. The two then begin to wail away on each other thunderous punches and kicks, which result in G-4�s forehead being split open. The referee exits the ring in an attempt to break up the two giants, as Tremor stands in the middle of the ring, watching. The crowd lets out a big �pop� as Aftershock comes running down the aisle, steel chair in hand. He slides in under the ropes, and blasts Tremor in the back of the head with the chair, before throwing it down to the mat. Tremor turns around and Aftershock locks his hands behind the seven-footer�s head, and brings him down hard with the Fault Line. Tremor hits the steel chair face first, and Aftershock grabs the chair and quickly exits the ring. Outside, the referee has succeeded in breaking up Archangel and G-4, and sends Archangel to the back. G-4 slides under the ropes, and sees Tremor laying face down in the ring. He rolls him over and covers him as the referee slides into the ring and makes the three count.

Loujack: �Winner by pinfall�the G-4!�

John: �Whoa! What a chair shot and Fault Line from Aftershock. G-4 picks up his first win at a pay per view, Mr. Pickle must be pleased.�

The screen cuts to Bernie Lomax in the ring talking about the J-Crown tournament, and announcing the names of the men in it. Video footage of the entire tournament is then shown, featuring all the matches and all the participants. The handshakes after matches are shown, as well as Mayhem�s use of his roll of quarters. We then see footage of Luche Larry and Mayhem winning their last matches, and then get a screen shot of both men and a logo, which reads LUCHE LARRY VS. MAYHEM. The camera then returns to live footage, in the backstage area. Mayhem is seen walking towards the curtain, when John Cain bumps into him.

Mayhem: �Watch were you�re going or I�ll plant you again.�

John Cain: �So sorry there bub, it�ll never happen again. Hey good luck out there champ.�

Mayhem: �Whatever.�

Mayhem walks off, a look of anger on his face, as John Cain just watches him go. Mr. Cain nods his head, smiling and waving, he then looks down at his hand, then tosses a roll of quarters into the air, and catches them.

John Cain: �Let�s see how well you do without these, champ.�

MATCH 3

J-Crown Tourney Match Finals

Loujack: �From Pandora�s Box, and weighing in at 218 pounds, one half of Pandemonium, this is� Mayhem.�

In the backstage area, we see Luche Larry heading for the curtain, when he passes John Cain who stops him. Mr. Cain hands the roll of quarters to Larry, and then pats him on the back. Larry puts the quarters in his tights, then shakes Cain�s hand and walks off. Mr. Cain stands there for a moment, and then walks off laughing.

Wall of Voodoo�s �Mexican Radio� begins to play, as Luche Larry comes out from behind the curtain and begins to jump up and down. The crowd begins to cheer loudly at the antics of the masked luchador, who starts running to the ring.

Bruce: �Well it looks like John Cain may have gotten a bit of revenge on Mayhem. Let�s see how he can do without his laundry money.�

Loujack: �Coming to the ring from Mexico City, Mexico, and weighing in at 160 pounds; he is the self-proclaimed greatest luchador in the world�Luche Larry!�

The two start with a test of strength, which Larry wins, but Mayhem answers with a knee to the ribs and a suplex. Mayhem runs at Larry, but gets hit in the face with a quick dropkick. Larry then whips Mayhem to the corner and gives him a spear in the ribs. The two men trade off kicks, and Mayhem gouges Larry�s eyes. Larry goes for a handspring back-elbow, but misses and gets dropkicked into the corner. Mayhem then attempts a piledriver, but Larry reverses it with a back body drop.

Mayhem whips Larry into the ropes, and takes him down with an Asai Moonsault, which Larry answers with a whip of his own, and a monkey flip. Larry then nails Mayhem with another spear, and tries to whip him into the corner. Mayhem reverses the whip, and then kicks Larry in the head. He pulls the masked man out of the corner, and nails reverse DDT.

Mayhem attempts a pin, but Larry kicks out at the one count and jumps up to his feet. Mayhem then takes him back down whit a head scissor takedown, but Larry answers with a double underhook DDT. Mayhem gets up; looking pissed, and nails another reverse DDT, then reaches into his tights. Larry applies a sleeper to Mayhem, then brings him down to the mat, and starts Ultimate Punching.

Mayhem fights free, and hits a bulldog, then reaches into his tights again. Larry stands behind the referee, who is looking at Mayhem, and then shows him the roll of quarters. Mayhem�s eyes open wide in surprise, and then change to anger.

He runs at Larry, who sidesteps and catches him in a sleeper again, he then brings Mayhem down and starts Ultimate Punching. Mayhem�s face is quickly a bloody mess, but he manages to break out and get to his feet. He tries to tell the referee about the quarters, but Larry shuts him up with a headbutt.

Luche Larry then applies the sleeper one more time, and takes Mayhem down once more. He begins Ultimate Punching, in the center of the ring, and Mayhem taps out. Larry jumps up and starts to celebrate, as Mayhem rolls out of the ring, and walks to the back.

Loujack: �Winner by submission at 4:35, and your J-Crown champion�Luche Larry!!!!!�

John: �Well it looks like Mayhem got what was coming to him. I say way to go Mr. Cain, way to go.�

The crowd begins to cheer loudly as Bernie Lomax, still dressed in a suit and tie, but looking a bit disheveled comes walking to the ring. Bernie is carrying a title belt in one hand, and a tumbler of something in the other. He enters the ring, and is handed the microphone from Loujack.�

Bernie: �Well then, lets have a big round of applause for your first J-Crown Champion, Luche Larry. Here you go Larry, take your belt. I certainly hope everyone is having a good time in my home.�

Bernie tosses back the entire contents of his glass as the crowd roars in answer to his question. Larry straps the belt around his waist, and then looks at Bernie. Larry then slides out of the ring, and runs to the back as fast as he can. Bernie stands in the middle of the ring, staring at the assembled crowd, and then looks down at his glass.

Bernie: �I�d love to stay and chat, but I need a refill.�

Bernie drops the microphone with a thud, and then exits the ring, dropping his glass on the ground. He looks down at the broken glass, then around at the crowd. Stumbling his way to the back, he begins to loosen his tie, and laugh to himself.

Bruce: �It looks as if Mr. Lomax is hitting the sauce a little hard, did you here him slurring those words?�

John: �I guess we forgot that all of this is happening in someone�s home. I�d probably be a little upset myself, I�m having a great time though, and this isn�t my house so I say let�s party!!!!�

MATCH 4

Hardcore Title match

Loujack: �Coming to the ring at this time from Osaka, Japan, and weighing in at 207 pounds; he is the wielder of the Dragon�s Breath, the Japanese Pittbull�Akira Komatsu!�

�The Star Spangled Banner� begins to play, as General James comes running out of the back, and sprints to the ring. The crowd cheers the General as speeds past them, and slides into the ring. Steve Loujack quickly exits the ring as James enters and begins to assault his opponent, while still wearing the title belt.

John: �General James has apparently decided on a first strike offensive here today.�

James unloads several right hands on Komatsu, before dropping down and sweeping him off of his feet. He then rolls over, and drives his knee into Akira�s gut, and then begins to pound his forehead with hard right hands. Akira swings the tongfar, but James blocks it and takes control of the weapon himself. James gets to his feet and awaits Akira�s next move, meeting him with a thrust to the ribs.

He then uses the tongfar on Akira�s back before tossing it out of the ring. Akira unleashes a series of martial arts kicks and thrusts, then whips James to the corner and attempts a handspring back-elbow. James moves out of the way, and tosses Komatsu through the ropes, to the ground. The General then follows him out and tattoos him with a chair, then DDTs him onto it. James gets a garbage can out from under the ring, and places it over Akira�s head, then sweeps him to the ground. Once Akira is prone on the ground, James gets a small glass bottle out from under the ring, and then slides back into the ring.

Bruce: �What does James have in that bottle?�

Akira gets out of the garbage can, and re-enters the ring, wielding a steel chair. James takes a drink out of the bottle, then holds a lighter in front of his face, lights it, and spits the liquid at the lighter. A ball of flame engulfs Komatsu�s face, causing him to drop the chair and stagger backwards. The General then smashes the glass jar over Akira�s head, and drops him with the Fatal Freefall. James goes for the cover and gets a two count. As Komatsu rises to his feet, James kicks him in the face, splitting his mouth open.

Akira responds with a series of kicks to James�s face, and suplexes him down. The Pittbull then pulls a pair of handcuffs out of his pants, and attempts to put them on James. The two begin to struggle, and when they separate, Akira has his hands cuffed behind his back. James picks up the steel chair, and wallops him several times in the head, then goes for the cover. Akira kicks out at the two count, which frustrates the General.

James then unloads on Komatsu, blasting him in the head and across the back several times. He then attempts another pin, but once again, Akira kicks out at the two count.

James just stares at the Pittbull, who jumps up to his feet and assaults him with a series of martial arts kicks, stunning James, and taking him off of his feet. Akira bounces off the ropes, and attempts to jump on the General�s chest, but James lifts up the steel chair, and drives it into Komatsu�s groin. Akira falls to the mat, and curls up in a ball as James gets to his feet, and waits in the corner. As Akira gets to his feet, and stands doubled over in the ring, James runs at him and nails him in the top of the head with the chair. He then lifts him onto his shoulders and hits a second Fatal Freefall. This time James gets the three count, and the victory.

Loujack: �Winner by pinfall, and still MOW Hardcore Champion�General James.�

John: �Wow what a match, James really took it to the Pittbull, he didn�t even take the title belt off.�

Bruce: �And he got some payback for that fireball with a little fire of his own.�

The camera moves to the backstage area, where Dr. John Brody is standing with a pumped up Fireball Jackson.

Dr. John: �Fireball Jackson, what is your prediction on the no D.Q. match you have with Vengeance for the U.S. Title tonight?�

Fireball: �Prediction? Who do I look like, the Amazing Kreskin? Listen up chump, that brooding little bitch has been ducking me for a while. So I parted his nasty hair with a stop sign, so what. Tonight, there is no D.Q. and no way he is walking out of here with that belt. You want a prediction, here you go, I predict an ass whoopin for the Champ that he aint gonna forget anytime soon. And I WILL be the next U.S. Champion. Now get outta my way before I decide to beat your sorry ass�Doc.�

MATCH 5

US Title Match (No D.Q.)

Loujack: �Coming too the ring at this time, from Detroit, MI, and weighing in at 243 pounds, the always explosive�Fireball Jackson!�

�Lost� by Nevermore plays as Vengeance comes running down to the ring as the crowd cheers the U.S. Champion.

Loujack: �Weighing in at 240 pounds, he is the current U.S. Champion, the man with no past�Vengeance!�

Vengeance comes right at Fireball and takes the offensive right away. He hits Fireball with a DDT, and a quick suplex, before whipping him to the ropes. As Fireball comes off of the ropes, Vengeance takes him down with a clothesline, and stomps him down. Vengeance spends the next several minutes living up to his name, as he unloads a variety of technical moves on his opponent. Vengeance attempts a pinfall, but Fireball kicks out, and throws him through the ropes. Fireball follows him outside and snap suplexes him to the ground.

John: �Vengeance got off to a good start here tonight, but now that the action has spilled outside I�d say the advantage has gone to Fireball.�

Bruce: �And it is pretty dangerous out here at ringside, as the ground is covered with gravel, I don�t know why Mr. Pickle had it dumped here, but there you go.�

Fireball executes his large variety of suplexes, and whips Vengeance into the steel ring post. Vengeance waits for Fireball to run at him, and then moves out of the way, causing Fireball to crash into the steel. The U.S. Champ then gets a stop sign out from under the ring, and swings it at Jackson, who dropkicks it into Vengeance�s face.

Fireball then picks up the sign, and whacks Vengeance over the head with it. He tosses Vengeance, and then the stop sign into the ring, then picks up a steel chair, and enters the ring himself. He tattoos Vengeance across the back with the chair, knocking him face first to the mat.

Fireball then lays the stop sign across the back of Vengeance�s head, and then begins to pound on the sign with the chair. He then tosses the chair out of the ring, and pulls the stop sign off of Vengeance. Fireball attempts a pinfall, but Vengeance kicks out at the two count. Jackson dishes out a release German suplex that leaves Vengeance in a heap. Then Fireball picks up the stop sign, and exits the ring.

Once outside he pulls a table out from under the ring, and sets it up in front of the French Canadian broadcast table. Vengeance comes out and starts to hammer on Jackson, who picks up a set of ring steps and bashes him in the head with them. He then places both sets of ring steps on top of the table, and puts the stop sign on top of the steps.

John: �What the hell is he doing?�

Vengeance nails Fireball with a chair, and tosses him into the ring, following right behind him.

Fireball kicks Vengeance in the ribs, takes the chair, and slams it across his lower back. Fireball then steps behind Vengeance, and locks his arms around his waist. He backs up near the ropes and release German suplexes Vengeance up and over the ropes. Vengeance flies over the ropes, and crashes through the stop sign, ring steps, and table construction, hitting the ground below. Fireball exits the ring, and carries Vengeance back in to get the three count.

Loujack: �Winner by pinfall, and new MOW U.S. Champion, Fireball Jackson!�

Bruce: �Oh what a match! Man Vengeance is one tough guy I�ll tell you that. I can�t believe that he is walking to the back.�

The camera takes us to the far end of the concourse, where we see Bernie Lomax sitting in a lawn chair against the five-foot high fence that surrounds his property. Bernie is sitting in the chair, drinking a beer; he has a cooler on the ground next to him. He finishes his beer, tosses the empty can over the fence, and opens another one. Narn the Mad Celt walks up and sits down in the lawn chair next to Bernie. Narn is carrying two large steins that appear to be about one liter each. He is wearing brown leather pants, and a sleeveless U-2 t-shirt.

Narn: �Great party, drink up boss!�

Narn hands Bernie one of the steins and then downs the other, thick dark liquid and foam run down his chin and chest as he empties the entire thing. He leans his head back, burps loudly, and claps Bernie on the back. The two are soon looking over their shoulders, as Bernie�s neighbor is looking over the fence and yelling at him.

Bernie�s Neighbor: �Hey Lomax, when is this damn nonsense going to be over anyway? Do you even have the proper permits for half of this shit?�

Bernie: �Go away Harold, I�m really not in the mood for this right now.�

Narn: �Yeah Harold, go away, can�t you see that we�re drinking here?�

Harold: �I don�t care what you�re doing, you big moron. Lomax, this is really too much, even for you. There is garbage scattered all up and down the street, there are cars parked in my front yard, and some big fat guy stole all my kid�s pool toys. What are you going to do about it?�

Bernie: �Not a damn thing Harold, not a damn thing.�

Harold: �Oh I guess you�re too busy drinking with the missing link here to clean up your mess!�

At that comment, Narn gets to his feet, and kicks a hole through the fence. Bernie sits in his lawn chair, as Narn climbs through the hole. Bernie closes his eyes and listens to the sickening sound of fists on face, and boots on ribs as Harold can be heard screaming in pain. Bernie looks down at the stein in his hands, shrugs his shoulders and takes a big gulp. He makes a face of disgust, and then downs the whole thing, foam and ale running down his chest.

A group of drunken frat boys walk up and surround him, then begin to pour beer over his head and shout �chug, chug, chug� as he finishes the stein.

The frat boys then begin to clap him on the back and hoot and holler as Narn comes walking through the hole in the fence. He walks up to the group, grabs a beer, and begins to drink with them. Bernie sits with his head in his hands, as they drink and carry on all around him. The camera then takes us back to the ring area for the next match.

MATCH 6

Hardcore Tag Title Match

Loujack: �Making their way to the ring at this time, from Pandora�s Box, and weighing in at a combined weight of 489 pounds; Chaos and Mayhem, this is� Pandemonium!�

�Sabbath Bloody Sabbath� by Black Sabbath begins to play as the Minions, accompanied by Warlock, make their way to the ring. The crowd cheers the Hardcore Tag Champs as they walk purposefully to the ring.

Loujack: �Coming to the ring, from the mountains of Romania, they weigh in at a combined weight of 630 pounds; accompanied to the ring by Warlock, Painkiller, and Cremator, the MOW Hardcore Tag Team Champions�The Minions!�

John: �I wonder if Pandemonium are ready for this challenge, the last time we saw the Minions in action, they almost killed the Bad Ass Assassins.�

Bruce: �Well Pandemonium did a number on the Dark Ones as well you know. I wouldn�t count either of these teams out.�

At the sound of the bell, all four men meet in the center of the ring, and begin to hammer away at each other. Both teams exchange a combination of wrestling maneuvers and brawling techniques, with the Minions quickly asserting a clear advantage. The crowd goes crazy as the action spills out onto the ground and starts to move up the entrance aisle and to the back.

The Minions drag their foes out of the ring area, and into the concourse, to the delight of those still enjoying the carnival. Painkiller tosses Mayhem over the counter at the ring toss, and begins to smash glass soda bottles over his head. Meanwhile Cremator and Chaos have ended up between the Carousel and Ferris wheel, both of which are still full of kids, and running unattended. Cremator throws Chaos onto the Carousel, and the two begin to exchange blows amid the screaming children.

Cremator then powerbombs Chaos into one of the buggies on the Carousel, and then tosses him off of the moving ride. He waits on the edge of it as it makes another rotation, launching through the air hitting a leg drop on when he gets to where Chaos is laying. He hits the move, but cannot capitalize on it, as he has made himself dizzy.

John: �I wonder what an accident out there on the concourse would do to Bernie�s insurance.�

The two teams continue to battle through the concourse, making their way to Bernie�s house, and his pool area. The Minions toss Pandemonium around like rag dolls, smashing pool furniture over their heads, and dropping them on the concrete.

Painkiller picks up Chaos, and whips him across the deck, causing him to fall on top of a sunbathing Creature. Creature pushes Chaos off of him, and gets to his feet yelling about the spilled ice tea on his chest. The Minions try to explain what is going on to the hairy beast, but he grabs their heads and bashes them together twice, before throwing them into the side of the house, and getting into the hot tub. The Minions struggle up to their feet, and move away from the side of the house, and in front of the glass French doors that lead into the house.

As they regain their composure, Chaos and Mayhem, bowl into them, with matching spears. Pandemonium drives the Minions right through the glass doors and into Bernie�s breakfast nook. Mayhem gets to his feet, and picks up Cremator, tossing him to the right, and into the kitchen. Chaos and Painkiller begin to battle down the hall, towards the front door. In the kitchen, Mayhem uses pots, pans, glasses, coffee mugs, plates, a rolling pin, and a full blender pitcher on Cremator. He then spears him again, this time through the door that leads to the pool.

Bruce: �As if Bernie didn�t have other problems, these four guys are going to destroy his house!�

Chaos places Painkiller on his shoulders, and carries him up the steps, then hits a DVD in the upstairs hallway. Painkiller gets to his feet, and unloads a series of punches on Chaos, then shoulder blocks him through a door, into Bernie�s bedroom. The two crash through the door, and land in a heap on the floor. Chaos gets to his feet, but Painkiller kicks him in the stomach, and throws him across the room, and through a big custom fish tank.

The fish tank explodes as Chaos sails through it, and then bounces off of the wall and lands on the now soaked and glass filled floor. Painkiller drops down and covers him amid the water, glass, flopping fish, and aquarium decorations. The referee runs into the room, huffing and puffing, and makes the count. Chaos kicks out at the two count, then throws Painkiller through a door, and into the master bathroom. The bathroom is all steamy and the shower is running, as Painkiller rises slowly to his feet, only to get nailed with a huge dropkick from Chaos.

Painkiller flies into the glass doors around the luxurious shower, sending glass and aluminum framing everywhere. He lands hard in the middle of the large tub/shower, surprising Candyman and Cotton Candy. Candyman looks down at Painkiller, then up at the camera, and quickly covers himself with a soaking wet towel.

The steam in the bathroom begins to fade, as Cotton Candy covered in thick soap lather, hops out of the shower and runs screaming past the camera. Her ample bosom, although covered in soap, bounces as she tries to cover up with her hands. Chaos turns away from Painkiller, and watches her flee out of the bedroom, only to be speared back into the bedroom, and a night table.

Painkiller picks up Chaos, and powerbombs him onto the waterbed, then picks up a chunk of wood from the bathroom door, and swings it at him. Chaos rolls to the side, and the broken board tears a huge hole in the waterbed, causing water to splash all over the place. Candyman, clad in his soaking wet towel, runs out of the bedroom and down the hall yelling �Candy, Candy, where are you?�

John: �Whoa, it looks like everyone got a little Candy today. I hope we have a mature rating tonight or we�re in hot water.�

Down by poolside, Cremator is laying a beating on Mayhem, and attempts several pinfalls, but there is no referee to make the count. He continues to beat the hell out of his opponent, forcing him across the pool area and back towards the house. A large well-muscled blonde man is seen posing for some ladies near the pool, as the two battle off of the deck, and back into the house. Cremator drags Mayhem into the living room, and powerslams him through a glass coffee table, then picks up Bernie�s TV, and hurls it at him.

Mayhem moves out of the way, and the TV smashes into the floor. The Skull Legion, who is still using the living room as their dressing room, starts to yell about the broken TV. Hellfire and his cronies then start to beat down both men, throwing all of Bernie�s stereo components at them, and then throwing them into the front hallway.

The two of them get up and begin to fight down the hall, and crash through another door, landing in the garage.

Cremator suplexes Mayhem onto the hood of a black Mercedes then gets into the car and fires up the ignition. Mayhem gets up on all fours, as Cremator hits the gas, and drives right through the garage door and into the driveway.

The two men in orange, who were tagging the garage door, jump out of the way, as the car leaps across the driveway.

Mayhem is launched off of the hood, and sails through the air, as the car smashes into another car in the driveway. He crashes through the rear window of white BMW, landing in the backseat. Cremator gets out of the car, opens the battered trunk of the BMW, and tosses a golf bag to the ground. He picks up a nine iron, and parts Mayhem�s hair with it, as he exits the trashed BMW. Cremator wails on a very bloody Mayhem, sending him to the pavement in a heap.

Suddenly there is a loud crash, and Cremator turns around, to see Chaos pounding on Painkiller. The two of then are on the small balcony off of Bernie�s bedroom, the patio doors behind them are shattered.

Chaos picks Painkiller up, looks down at Cremator, and yells, �Catch!� before throwing him down onto the roof of the Mercedes. Painkiller�s impact shatters all the windows on the car, and causes Cremator to look in horror at his partner. Chaos then jumps down onto the hood of the car, catches his balance, and leaps at Cremator. He catches him by the head and drives him into the pavement with a tornado DDT as the referee comes running out the front door. Mayhem gets to his feet, and watches as his partner scores the pinfall. The two celebrate briefly, and then make their way back to the ring to collect the title belts.

Loujack: �Winners by pinfall and NEW�Hardcore Tag Team Champions; Mayhem and Chaos�Pandemonium!�

The crowd boos as the new champs put on the belts in the center of the ring. They taunt the crowd and swagger around cockily. The crowd cheers loudly, as Warlock enters the ring, and lays them both out with a steel chair. He then walks out of the ring area to the delight of the fans.

John: �What a freakin match!!!!!!! We have new Hardcore tag team champions, and Bernie needs some remodeling. I�m damn glad this aint my house.�

The camera switches from the live feed to a video promo for the Tag Team Title match. Color footage of the Destruction Crew walking is superimposed over black and white footage of building demolitions and car crashes. The color footage of the Crew changes from them walking to them dishing out beatings in the ring, as the black and white footage continues, a voiceover begins to speak.

Voiceover: �The Destruction Crew, by far the most dominant tag team in the MOW. Decimator and Devastator have demolished all in their path. The Tag Team gold seems to be made just for them. On their way to immortality, two monsters have stepped up to challenge them. Will the Crew fall by the roadside our will they destroy another team?�

The footage of the Crew fades out, and footage of Doomsday dominating the Crew in non-title competition is shown. Doomsday is then shown wiping out the competition in the four-way tag match for number one contendership. The Lord of Hellfire�s face appears above Doomsday�s acts of devastation, as the voiceover continues.

Voiceover: �Armageddon and Apocalypse, the twin towers of terror, they are Doomsday personified. Following the directives of The Lord of Hellfire they have cut a swath of devastation through the tag team ranks, leaving all who stand between them and the gold quivering in their wake. With the guidance of Hellfire can they be stopped?�

The footage then cuts to scenes from the one on one matches between the members of these two teams. Decimator is seen favoring his back in his loss to Apocalypse, while Devastator is shown totally dominating Armageddon. The images of both teams go from color to black and white as intensely colored flames fill the screen behind them. The voiceover continues.

Voiceover: �Will the Destruction Crew once again prove their superiority in the squared circle, or is it Doomsday�s turn to rule the roost? Only time will tell�and the time is now.�

The footage of the two teams disappears, as the flames fill the screen. The Tag Team Title belts appear amidst the intense flames for a few seconds, and then the screen fades to black.

MATCH 7

Tag Title Match

Loujack: �From the End of Time come the twin towers of terror, Armageddon and Apocalypse; they represent the Skull Legion�here is your Doomsday!�

�Gimmie the Prize� by Queen begins to play, and the crowd begins a frenzied cheer, as they roar in response to the music. Decimator and Devastator walk towards the ring, title belts around their waists, as the crowd begins to chant �Crew, Crew, Crew�.

Loujack: �Making their way to the ring from Parts Unknown, at a combined weight of 540 pounds; they are the MOW Tag Team Champions of the World, Decimator and Devastator, the symbol of tag team excellence�The Destruction Crew!�

John: �This should be a great match, these two teams have been on a collision course since Madmania.�

Bruce: �Doomsday sure didn�t like the way The Crew taunted them with the belts after knocking them off of the entrance ramp. The Crew have lost to this team before, but they always seem to turn it up a notch when the belts are on the line.�

John: �Well in the two one on one matches that these teams had, each team got a win. You have to wonder if Decimator�s back problems will play a part in this match.�

Devastator and Armageddon start things off, meeting in the middle of the ring, and swinging for the fences. Devastator catches Armageddon with a brutal kick to the ribs, whips him into the Crew�s corner, and begins to stomp him down as Decimator chokes him from the outside. Devastator gets control with an armbar, and tags in Decimator, who takes up the armbar himself. The Crew begins an assault on Armageddon, cutting the ring in half and isolating him, while punishing him with technical moves. Apocalypse tries to enter the fray several times but the referee stops him, affording the Crew valuable double team time.

This continues for several minutes, until Apocalypse has had enough, and rushes past the referee and grabs Decimator. Decimator gains control of the big man, and scoop slams him down. He then scoop slams Armageddon as well, while Devastator hits Apocalypse with a suplex.

Decimator goes for a powerslam, but his back gives out, and Armageddon lands on top of him, and begins to wail away at his head. Armageddon throws Devastator through the ropes, and returns to his corner, as the referee regains control of the match. Doomsday then cut the ring in half, isolating Decimator, and working on his back. After several powerbombs, powerslams, suplexes, back breakers, and Atomic Drops Decimator is in an excruciating amount of pain. His face is bright red, and he is sweating profusely, while his movement has become slow and labored.

Armageddon hits a big slam, followed by a leg drop, and goes for the pin. Devastator breaks up the count, but gets a boot in the face, from Apocalypse for his trouble. All four men are in the ring again, but Doomsday is double-teaming Devastator, as Decimator tries to get to his feet.

Doomsday hit a hard double suplex on Devastator and then throws him over the top rope. The two seven-footers stand on either side of Decimator, who is on his hands and knees, slowly getting to his feet. The monsters begin to pound him down with double axe-handles to his back, driving him to the mat.

John: �It looks as if Doomsday are targeting the back of Decimator, a sound strategy for the young giants.�

Once the referee regains control of the match, Apocalypse fires Decimator into the Crews corner, causing him to bounce back into the ring violently. Devastator enters the ring, off of the blind tag, and nails the big man with a dropkick to the groin. The referee doesn�t see it though, as he is directing an almost immobile Decimator to the corner. Devastator makes a valiant effort, but the two demons are too much for him. They take turns slamming and throwing him around the ring. On the apron, Decimator yells for the tag, his pride overriding his pain. Armageddon hits Devastator with the Hangman�s Noose, and then tags in Apocalypse, who helps him pick up their opponent. They then drive him down to the mat with a viscous double heartpunch, causing Decimator to rush in to avoid the pin.

Bruce: �The referee is having a hard time maintaining order in this match!�

Decimator picks up Armageddon, and tosses him over the ropes, with a bodyslam that racks his sore back. As he regains his breath, Apocalypse drives a boot into his lower back, and then throws him through the ropes. Outside the ring, they drop him with a double team boot to the face, and roll him onto his stomach.

Armageddon picks up the steel ring steps, and slams them down onto Decimator�s back, causing him to scream in pain. Devastator exits the ring, and then dropkicks the stairs into Armageddon�s face, as he prepares to use them again. Devastator goes to work on the giant, as his brother tosses Decimator back into the ring. Armageddon grabs Devastator by the throat, and hits another Hangman�s Noose, before slamming the ring steps down on his head.

In the ring, Apocalypse nails a very stunned Decimator with the Executioner�s Song, and then yells for Armageddon to enter the ring. Once in the ring, Armageddon flips Decimator up into powerbomb position, as Apocalypse climbs up to the top turnbuckle. As Armageddon executes the powerbomb, Apocalypse comes off of the ropes, catches Decimator�s neck and chokeslams him. After they drive him to the mat with The Gallows (powerbomb/chokeslam), Apocalypse easily gets the three count.

Loujack: �Winners by pinfall, and NEW MOW Tag Team Champions�Doomsday!�

The crowd roars their disapproval as Devastator enters the ring to check on his partner. He then stands up and begins to argue with the referee as to who was the legal man. Armageddon and Apocalypse stare at him from behind, then swing their newly won belts, sandwiching his head between the huge gold plates. They whip him with the belts, as if he were a mongrel, and drive him to the mat. Doomsday then hit Devastator with The Gallows, and put the boots to him.

John: �Alright, you won the match, you won the belts, now get the hell out of here. Come on don�t do this!!!!!!!�

The new champs throw Devastator out of the ring again, and then stare at the barely moving Decimator. Apocalypse climbs up onto the top rope and squats down with his knees bent. Armageddon picks up Decimator, and hands him to his brother, legs first. They position him, and then Armageddon moves to stand in the corner, facing into the ring. Devastator is leaning into the ring, yelling for them to stop, but it has no effect on these monsters.

Apocalypse stands up on the top rope, Decimator on his shoulders, but facing to his rear. He steps up onto Armageddon�s shoulders, then jumps off, and forces his body as well as Decimator forward. Decimator slams into the middle of the ring with a sickening crash, his body literally bouncing up from the superpowerbomb. Doomsday pick up their title belts and exit the ring as the crowd boos loudly and Devastator crawls to his friend�s aid.

Bruce: �Oh my God!!!!!! What a powerbomb!!!!!!! Decimator isn�t moving; we need to get some help down here. Why would Doomsday do that? They had already won the match.�

John: �Why? Why? Because they�re a couple of mother(bleep)s like the rest of the Goddamn Skull Legion that�s why. I hope all of those dirty sonsofbitches get what�s coming to them some day. I don�t care if that mother(bleep)ing, piece of dog (beep) Hellfire comes after me or not. This (bleep) has to stop, its (bleep) ridiculous. I�m sorry for that outburst, but this just isn�t right. The Destruction Crew deserve better than this.�

Bruce: �Well the EMTs have arrived, and are attending to Decimator. Let�s get the camera off of them, out of respect, and show you what the three men who will battle for the TV Title did this weekend.�

The live feed cuts to carnival footage once again, as we see fans milling around the concourse, enjoying themselves tremendously. We then return to the Dunk Doom both, where Doom is sitting in the tank, and fans are throwing balls at the target, in an attempt to soak the big man. When fans fail to do this, Warlock chastises them, yelling and pointing, and sending them away humbled. Many children are shown crying, teenage girls are shown running away, and men are shown arguing back. When someone does dunk the monster, Warlock tosses their prize at them, and then chases them away as well.

We then go to Jester�s Magic Stage, where the TV Champ can be seen performing magic tricks and other feats of whimsy. Jester makes balloon sculptures, origami figures, juggles, dances, and tells jokes. Several midget clowns run about assisting Jester, and delighting the fans. Children are shown smiling as he tosses glitter and confetti at them, and hands out prizes. Kamikaze and Fury of Ricochet are performing on the trapeze and trampoline on the back of the stage. Everyone seems to be having fun at the Jester�s stage, which is not the case at all of the Superstar Attractions.

At the Candyman�s concession stand, the lines are long, and the service horrible as the arrogant wonder sits in front of a portable fan drinking lemonade. Cotton Candy is scrambling to fill orders as he watches her and makes faces at the crowd. Several customers complain to the Candyman, and get his usual treatment.

Customer #1: �Why don�t you get up and help her? We want some food, and maybe an autograph. That�s what the sign says.�

Candyman: �She�s doing just fine nimrod, don�t worry about her. You should be more worried that your mustached wife can�t take her eyes off of me.�

Customer #2: �Get off your ass, and get me some milk duds you lazy jerk!�

Candyman: �Like you need some milk duds, fatty, get out of here before Candyman slaps the fat off of your floppy jowls. Who are you supposed to be anyway, the Godfather?�

Customer #3: �How come she has to do all the work? Are you a male chauvinist or something?�

Candyman: �Candyman is above manual labor, Cotton Candy likes to help people, and Candyman does not. Now why don�t you go shave your legs if you�re gonna wear shorts like that. This aint France honey.�

Candyman continues to sit back and sip lemonade as Cotton Candy moves franticly to serve the throng. He just smiles and continues to insult anyone who questions his salesmanship. Occasionally he signs a photograph, and tosses it at the crowd. But mostly he drinks his lemonade.

The footage then shows more of the carnival, as the fans enjoy the rides and attractions. Rat Bastard is seen getting slapped by many women, and Bernie is seen wandering around in a daze. We then return to the live feed, but not the broadcast booth. Instead, we see Bernie standing next to his hot tub, and scooping out a big handful of hair. Bernie is no longer wearing his suit coat, and his tie is completely undone. The top two buttons of his shirt are open, and it is untucked from his pants. Narn and the frat boys are still with him and are drinking heavily. The Rat Bastard comes up, stands next to Bernie, and takes a bite off of a heavily buttered corncob. Corn and butter run down his chin, as he smiles at Bernie, chunks of corn are stuck in his teeth.

Bernie: �Don�t do that, you have corn in your teeth. Aren�t you supposed to be running the Ferris wheel and the Carousel?�

Rat: �Yep, they�re running. I got bored so I took a break; them damn kids were giving me a headache. Yelling, screaming, and carrying on. So I left, no biggie.�

Bernie: �When did you take this �break�?�

Rat: �Around 12:30 or so, why?�

Bernie: �It�s 8:35 now!!!!! You left the rides running for eight hours? With kids on them? What are you nuts? Oh I�m gonna get sued for sure.�

Rat: �I was looking through your video tape collection in the den. Where do you hide the porn?�

Bernie: �I don�t own any porn!�

Rat: �C�mon, you have porn. You�re single you have to have some porn.�

Narn: �Porn? Where�s the porn, let�s watch it. Hey who wants to watch some porn?�

Frat boys: �We do!!!!!!!!!! Porn, yeah!!!!!!!!!!! Whoooooooooo!!!!!�

Bernie: �I DON�T HAVE ANY PORN!!!!!!!!!�

Rat: �Well that sucks. Hey got any beer?�

Narn: �Hell yeah!!!!!!!!! We raided the Budweiser tent, and got four kegs. Here have a cup.�

Narn fills up a cup and hands it to Rat Bastard, the two touch cups, and then chug them down. The frat boys go nuts. Narn fills Bernie�s cup as well and they all make him chug it down. Soon all eight of them are drinking beers and pointing at girls in the pool. The camera then moves to the concourse to show the Ferris wheel and Carousel turning as the kids continue to scream and yell. We then return to the broadcast position where John and Bruce are giggling.

John: �After the scene of devastation in the ring, that display of nonsense is just what I needed. It appears that Mr. Lomax has acquired some drinking buddies.�

Bruce: �Yeah, and some buddies they are, Narn and the Rat Bastard? Who would have thought?�

John: �Next up we have a one pinfall, triple-threat match for the TV Title, between former Champ Doom, number one contender Candyman, and reigning Champ Jester. This should be a great match.�

Bruce: Well Candyman demanded a rematch after Doom interfered in a match several weeks ago, and Doom has interjected himself in every TV Title match since dropping the title at Madmania. According to Warlock, Doom thinks that the title is his property, and is quite upset that people keep stealing it. Let�s go to the ring and the TV Title match.�

MATCH 8

3 Way Dance for TV Title

�Mr. Tinkertrain� by Ozzy Osbourne begins to play as Candyman makes his way to the ring with Cotton Candy. Candyman is dressed in red leather pants, and is sporting a Doom t-shirt, while Candy is wearing high-cut denim shorts and a Candyman t-shirt tied up to expose her midriff. They stop to regard the crowd as Candyman circles Candy staring at her healthy figure.

The men in the crowd hoot and holler for Candy, but boo the Candyman loudly. Candyman disregards them, but his attention is quickly diverted to four lovely young ladies in the front row. They have a sign in front of them that reads �Candy Stripers�, and are wearing tight fitting red and white striped halter-tops with zippers down the front. Candyman watches as they unzip their tops, exposing their tanned chests, each one of the girls� breasts have a letter written in bright red lipstick. All eight of them combined spell C-A-N-D-Y-M-A-N, The girls then shake for him as he points, smiles, and nods. Cotton Candy looks at the women, then turns Candyman�s head towards herself, shakes a little then plants a big kiss on his lips. The women zip up the halter-tops, and cheer for Candyman as Loujack announces him.

Loujack: �In the ring at this time from Hershey, PA, and weighing in at, 226 pounds; the self proclaimed �Sweetest Thing going Today��Candyman!�

John: �Just what we need, the arrogant fool has fans, female fans. Now he�ll never shut up.�

�Winds of War� by Iron Angel begins to play as Doom and Warlock make their way to the ring. The crowd reaction is mixed for the duo. Warlock stops to regard the �Candy Stripers�, then looks at them with disgust and moves to the neutral corner.

Loujack: �From Parts Unknown, weighing in at 340 pounds; he is the silent force, here is�Doom!�

�Visions� by Savatage begins to play as Jester makes his way down through the bleachers, tossing glitter and confetti as usual. The fans cheer loudly as the TV Champ heads to the ring for the match.

Loujack: �Weighing in at 181pounds, he is from the Planet Earth; the reigning MOW TV Champion, and the master of merriment�The Jester!�

Bruce: �It appears that Candyman and Cotton Candy are wearing their out of ring attire. I guess they didn�t have a chance to retrieve their normal gear after their shower was interrupted. That shirt looks a little snug on her, maybe she�ll pop out of it and we�ll get another look at her gumdrops.�

John: �You�re a pervert Bruce, but you have a point. What is that an extra small?�

The three men regard each other in the ring for a while, Jester and Candyman looking at the huge monster. They then look at each other, and rush the big man, unloading punches and kicks on the giant. They attempt a double suplex, but Doom blocks it, and uses his impressive strength to suplex both of them to the mat. He then gives Candyman a turnbuckle powerbomb, and Jester a gut-wrench powerbomb. Doom takes turns driving both of them into the mat, one and then the other.

Meanwhile Candyman and Jester continue to hit moves as well but to little effect. The speed of the two smaller men catches up with Doom, as they soon assume an advantage. This does not please Warlock on the outside.

Warlock: �What are you doing? Throw one of the pipsqueaks out of the ring, and cripple the other one! Come on, we talked about this!�

Candyman takes Doom down with a tornado DDT, and Jester catches him with a guillotine leg drop off of the top rope. Jester then attempts the pin, but Candyman breaks it up, the two then continue this type of assault for several minutes. They take turns attempting to pin Doom, while the other one breaks it up.

Candyman goes for three pinfalls in a row, but Jester stops them all. After the third attempt, Candyman gets up and suplexes Jester, and hits an elbow drop. Doom rolls out of the ring, and heads for the timekeeper�s table as the other two fight it out in the ring. Warlock intercedes, and tries to redirect Doom back into the ring. Candyman drops Jester, then runs at the ropes, and launches a springboard missile dropkick that nails Doom in the back of the head. Warlock dives out of the way, and begins to instruct the masked beast.

Warlock: �This is it!!!! Put his scrawny ass through the table!�

Doom shakes off the dropkick, clotheslines Candyman to the ground, and then delivers a massive powerbomb right through the French Canadian broadcast table. The foreign announcers scramble out of the way as their table shatters into thousands of pieces under the impact. Doom then slides into the ring to face a now refreshed Jester. Cotton Candy runs over to Candyman, and tries to revive him, as Jester amazingly begins to dominate Doom in the ring.

Jester hits several low blows as the referee checks on Candyman. When the referee returns his attention to the action in the ring, Jester capitalizes on his unsavory tactics, and hits several aerial attacks from the ropes. Once he has Doom reeling, Jester jumps onto his back and applies a sleeper hold.

John: �Jester has locked on the sleeper. He has had quite a bit of success with that move against this big freak. Warlock assured me earlier that he and Doom had devised a counter to this strategy, lets see if it works.�

Warlock pounds on the ring and yells as Doom drops to one knee. Jester tightens the hold, and squeezes with all his strength. The referee checks on Doom, lifts his arm up, and drops it down. Warlock continues to scream at Doom as the referee lifts his arm, and drops it again. The referee lifts the arm a third time and lets it go, as Warlock is jumping up and down and shouting.

Warlock: �DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! C�mon, we worked on this, now�s your chance!!! Show him your power, your strength. DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!�

Doom�s arm stops halfway down, and he lifts it above his head, before getting back up to his feet. Jester�s face is a look of total shock, as Doom stands up. Outside the ring, Candyman is on his feet, and looking into the ring, a look of shock on his face as well. Doom reaches back, grabs Jester under the arms, and lifts him straight up breaking the hold. He places Jester on his shoulders, and then spins him around, so that he is facing behind Doom. Candyman slides under the ropes as Doom drops Jester slightly and begins to spin into the Whirling Dervish. Before Doom can complete his spinning powerbomb finisher, Candyman sweeps the big man�s legs, causing him to careen out of control. Candyman jumps up to his feet, and mounts the ring ropes, smiling and tapping his forefinger on the side of his fore head. While Candyman is professing his intelligence, Doom lands on his back, a bewildered Jester sitting on his chest. The referee drops down and begins the three count. Candyman hears the referee�s count, turns his head, and jumps down to break up the count. The referee�s hand hits the mat for the third time before Candyman gets there. Jester rolls off of Doom, looks up at a pissed off Candyman, and then at the slowly rising Doom and slides out of the ring.

Loujack: �Winner by pinfall and STILL MOW TV Champion�Jester!�

Jester grabs his title belt, and heads off through the bleachers, as Doom stands in the middle of the ring. Candyman is kicking the bottom rope and throwing a tantrum as Doom watches Jester leave with the belt. Candyman turns around to see Doom�s gaze move from the Jester to him. He holds his hands up and begins to beg-off the monster, to no avail. Doom rushes forward, spearing Candyman to the mat, and then picks him up and powerbombs him onto the top turnbuckle. Warlock shouts encouragement as Doom picks him back up and clotheslines him back down. Cotton Candy jumps up on the apron and begins to yell for Doom to stop. The masked one ignores her pleas, picks up Candyman, and then places his head between his legs. He taunts the crowd, and grabs Candyman around the waist, as Cotton Candy enters the ring begging him to stop.

Bruce: �Is she nuts? It wouldn�t surprise me if that big idiot powerbombs her!�

Cotton Candy stands in front of Doom, and thrusts out her ample bosom, causing him to pause. She puts her hands on her hips, and turns seductively for him as she runs her hands up to her chest. Doom stares as Cotton Candy grabs the bottom of her t-shirt and pulls it up slightly. She winks at Doom, and puckers her lips at him as the men in the crowd begin to chant �show your tits!, show your tits!�. Candy looks around at the crowd, and then back at Doom, she shrugs her shoulders a bit then nods at the monster. Doom looks down at Candyman, at Candy, and then back at Candyman before flipping him up and running towards the ropes. Cotton Candy screams �NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!� As Doom running powerbombs Candyman over the ropes, to the ground below, causing him to land in a heap at the feet of the �Candy Stripers� who lean forward to console him. Doom looks at a terrified Cotton Candy, then exits the ring. She looks down at Warlock, who shrugs his shoulders, and yells.

Warlock: �Maybe he saw you running out of the shower?�

Doom and Warlock then walk to the back stage area, as Cotton Candy helps Candyman to his feet, shoves one of the female fans, and escorts her man to the back.

John: �Jester retains the TV Title, and Candyman feels the wrath of Doom. Maybe Candy should have just shown off the goods instead of teasing the big psycho.�

We then see Bernie, Narn, Rat Bastard, and the frat boys sitting at a card table at the base of the loop-de-loop. There are three empty kegs of beer lying on the ground, and the frat boys have just tapped a new one. Bernie is mixing whiskey and soda in a glass, as the rest of the bunch are playing quarters and chugging beer. The same two African Americans dressed in orange who were �tagging� Bernie�s garage door walk up to the group.

Stranger: �Yo, which one o you fools is Bernie Lomax?�

Bernie: �I am, who the hell is asking?�

Stranger: �Well me and my bro here heard you don�t want this ol loop in your yard. We work for a scrap metal yard and thought we�d offer to haul the bitch away for ya.�

Bernie: �Really, that would be great. I mean what would I do with it anyways. How much do you charge? Oh who cares, just get it out of here.�

Stranger: �No problem bro, just need you to sign these papers. Just contract is all, for insurance ya know? And we need a witness too, so�s our boss knows we didn�t jive ya or nuthin. What about you big man?�

Narn: �Who me? Sure I�ll sign it, anything for a drinking buddy, you know.�

Bernie and Narn take turns signing the papers, and the two strangers walk off high-fiving each other. Narn goes back to his game of quarters, and Bernie looks up at the loop and lets out a sigh of relief.

Bernie: �Well that�s one less thing to worry about.�

Rat Bastard: �Oh man I think I had to much to drink. I�m gonna be sick.�

Bernie: �Oh gross! Hey not on my shoes!�

Rat Bastard leans over, and begins to vomit, retching loudly as he does so. Bernie jumps up and stares at his now soiled Italian loafers a look of disgust on his face. Narn and the frat boys stop playing quarters, and watch Rat puke his guts out while chanting, �Go, Go, Go�. Bernie sits back down amidst the noise and pukeing, fills his glass with whiskey and soda, and takes a large drink. The camera returns to the ringside area where the fans await the next match.

Bruce: �Well maybe Bernie has had some good luck today after all. Those two men were nice to offer to remove that loop.�

John: �Yeah, I�m sure he�ll feel real lucky when he gets the bill to clean this place up. Next up we have the three-way-dance for the number one contender for the Heavyweight title.�

Bruce: �That�s right John Zombie, Axe, and Guardian will go at it to see who will be the number one contender to whomever wins the title in the main event. This match will prove interesting as Guardian has tried to quit the MOW, and Axe hasn�t shown much interest in anything since eliminating himself from the Fatal Four-way Rumble at Madmania. The Zombie however, has been trying to assert himself in singles competition since breaking from the Skull Legion and forming the Evil Dead.

John: �Before we get to the action though I have a news bulletin for the fans out there. It has been brought to our attention, just minutes ago, that the taxi cab containing Mr. Cheese ran a stoplight and was t-boned by a city bus. The bus was traveling at 40 miles per hour, and completely totaled the taxicab. The cab driver we have been told, walked away with only minor scratches, now lets get to the match.�

MATCH 9

3 Way dance for Number 1 contender for World Title

Guardian jumps the guardrail at ringside and slides under the top rope. He walks around the ring as the crowd boos him and then leans on the ropes his back to the crowd.

Loujack: Weighing in at 285 pounds, formerly of the Alliance�Guardian.�

Axe comes walking out of the backstage area, to nothing but the boos of the crowd. No music is played as he enters the ring and stands with his arms folded across his chest.

Loujack: �From Chicago, IL, and weighing in at 232 pounds, he is The Axe.�

John: �Those two just do not want to be here at all. Just look at them, they look miserable.�

�I Zombie� the remix by White Zombie begins to play as the Zombie begins to lurch down the aisle towards the ring. The crowd boos him loudly, but the dead guy doesn�t seem to notice.

Loujack: �Making his way to the ring from Death Valley, NV, and weighing in at 237 pounds; he is the leader of the Evil Dead, the master of the macabre�Zombie!�

Zombie stands in the middle of the ring, taking turns staring at Axe and Guardian. After a few moments of neither of them moving, he bursts into action, punching Axe in the mouth three times. Then he runs at Guardian, and spears him right through the ropes, and to the ground below. Zombie gets to his feet, picks up Guardian, and whips him hard into the ring steps. He then walks up to him and begins to stomp on him. Axe puts a stop to this, by reaching over the ropes, and pulling Zombie up onto the apron by his hair. He rams the dead man�s face into the turnbuckle, and then brings him into the ring with a suplex. Guardian gets back into the ring, and helps the Axe double powerbomb Zombie to the mat. The two then put the boots to him in the center of the ring.

Bruce: �It seems as though Zombie has done something the MOW brass couldn�t do, he lit a fire under these two guys.�

They pick up Zombie and hit another double powerbomb only to stand above him and argue over who should pin him. Neither man wants to get the pin, and they begin to yell and gesture towards the Zombie, who is slowly moving out from under them. Guardian shoves Axe, and Axe grabs him, then nails him with the Axeblade. Zombie then grabs Axe, and whips him to the ropes, nailing him with a big boot. Then he throws Axe over the top rope to the floor, and sends Guardian into the corner. Zombie puts Guardian in the tree of woe, then backs up, and runs right at him driving his body back with a spear. He leaves Guardian upside down, and exits the ring to deal with Axe. Axe has gotten to his feet, and is walking towards the entrance aisle. Zombie comes up behind him and drops him with inverted DDT, then picks him up and whips him into the ring apron. Axe is then knocked off his feet, as Zombie tosses the steel ring steps into his head, splitting him wide open. Zombie spends the next several minutes just beating the hell out of the two disgruntled employees, in and out of the ring. He splits his time between the Guardian in the ring, and Axe outside of it.

John: �Zombie is really going to town on these two. Not that they�re really trying or anything.�

Zombie picks up a steel chair, and runs at Axe, meaning to drop him with a shot to the head. He is driven sideways, violently into the guardrail, as Guardian catches him with a suicide dive out of the ring. Guardian then picks up Zombie and whips him into the broadcast table. Guardian yells at Axe, and motions to Zombie who is trying to regain his composure. The two of them then walk up to Zombie, and double powerbomb him onto the announce table, causing it to break. John and Bruce stumble out of the way to avoid the debris, and the Zombie who is thrashing around in the mess.

John: �And here I thought that these psychos had destroyed their quota of tables for a pay per view. I guess I was wrong. It appears that all they did was piss Zombie off though, look at him!�

Zombie gets to his feet, and slams a monitor into Axe�s face, then gives Guardian the same. He pounds both men with it, then tosses it to the ground, and picks up the chair he dropped putting it to use on their backs. Zombie wails away at both of them like a man possessed, then tosses each one in turn back into the ring. Axe and Guardian get to their feet slowly, and watch Zombie, as he climbs into the ring under the bottom rope. They ambush him as he gets in the ring, putting the boots to him, and then picking him up one on either side of him. They appear to be setting him up for a double side suplex, but Zombie blocks it, and drives them both down with a two victim Cranium Cracker. All three men hit the mat in a heap, and the referee begins to make the ten count. Guardian begins to rise, very slowly, blood pouring from his forehead. As he gets up, Zombie rolls Axe over, and scores the first three count of the match.

Bruce: �Zombie has eliminated Axe, one pin to go, I wonder who will get it?�

Zombie gets to his feet, looks at Guardian, who is stunned and gives him another Cranium Cracker before getting the second three count.

Loujack: �Winner by pinfall, and number one contender to the Heavyweight Championship�Zombie!�

Bruce: �Well that didn�t take long at all. I guess Zombie got the pin I was looking for. He totally dominated those two, not that they really tried. But he still handed them their asses.�

John: �Well now that we have a number one contender, lets see who�s going to defend the title against Zombie. It�s time to crown a new Heavyweight Champion of the World, who will it be?�

Bruce: �Will it be former champ The Lord of Hellfire, or ex-Bernie Lomax hatchet man Millinator, or could it be one time Alliance member Steamroller Stan? It�s time to find out folks, lets go to the ring for the main event.�

MATCH 9

3 Way dance for World Title

Dancin Fool by Frank Zappa plays as Millinator makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He walks to the ring seemingly emotionless under his mask.

Loujack: �Hailing from Millville, TX, and weighing in at 450 pounds; he�s big, he�s bad, and he CAN dance�Millinator!�

�Working Man� by Rush begins to play as Steamroller Stan walks purposefully to the ring. The crowd cheer the seven-footer as he motions around his waist for the belt.

Loujack: �Making his way to the ring from Pittsburgh, PA, and weighing in at 330 pounds; he is the one man convoy, here comes�Steamroller Stan!�

Type O Negative�s �Blood and Fire plays as the Lord of Hellfire stalks to the ring. The crowd boos the eight-foot demon as he makes his way to the ring. Once down at ringside Hellfire walks in front of the broadcast position, and stares a hole through John Taurus, before entering the ring.

Bruce: �Maybe he heard your comments after all John. Or maybe he doesn�t like either of us, but he sure looks in a bad mood to me.�

Loujack: �Weighing in at 460 pounds, from Hell, MI; he is the leader of the Skull Legion, the eight foot demon, and master of disaster�the Lord of Hellfire!�

The bell sounds, and all three men begin to pound on each other with punches and kicks. No alliances are formed, no teamwork is shown, they just take turns pounding away on each other. No one gets a clear advantage for a good six minutes or so; instead, they just hammer each other. The opening minutes feature the thee of them hitting powerslams, vertical suplexes, mountain bombs, gut busters, big boots, fire thunder drivers, variations of the piledriver, different versions of the powerbomb, Sambo suplexes, and DDTs. All three men quickly begin to slow down, and during the melee, Hellfire clotheslines Stan over the top rope. The leader of the Legion turns around, only to be kicked in the ribs by Millinator, who then executes a triple-powerbomb into a DVD. Millinator attempts a pin but Hellfire kicks out at the two count, at which time Millinator drives three elbows into his chest. He then rolls Hellfire onto his stomach, and applies the Millicrunch. As the referee checks on Hellfire, Stan enters the ring, bounces off the ropes and hits Millinator in the side of the head with a hard Yakuza kick. Stan then picks up Hellfire and tosses him out of the ring, then whips Millinator to the corner, and runs in with an elbow smash.

Stan then lifts up Millinator and hits the Steel City Slammer, but fails to get the three count, because of a boot to the head from Hellfire. Hellfire then shoots Stan to the ropes and hits a big boot, before grabbing a stunned Millinator, and driving him down with the Straight to Hell. The referee makes the three count, and Millinator is eliminated. Stan and Hellfire then stand dead center in the ring, staring hatefully at each other.

John: �Millinator is out, and now we are down to these two men. One of which will walk out with the grandest prize in this federation, the Heavyweight Championship of the MOW.�

Stan acts first, unloading a series of hard right hands on Hellfire, backing the former champ against the ropes. Hellfire blocks a punch, whips Stan to the ropes, and hits a big boot. He then nails a cradle piledriver, and goes for the pin. Stan kicks out at the two count, but Hellfire just hits him with another cradle piledriver, and follows with a double knee drop. Hellfire continues to dominate for several minutes, but never gets better than a two count, of which he gets five more. Frustrated he tosses Stan out of the ring, and follows him there. Hellfire picks up a chair, and swings it at Stan�s head, but Stan lifts up his foot and drives the chair into Hellfire�s face instead. Stan then whips Hellfire to the ring steps, and picks up the chair himself. He brings the chair down on Hellfire several times, and then picks him up and powerbombs him onto the steps.

Bruce: �Stan is definitely picking up speed, he may just win this thing.�

Stan suplexes Hellfire onto the ground, then tosses him back into the ring, and follows as well. Once in the ring Stan unloads a flurry of offense on Hellfire hitting many power moves. Stan taunts Hellfire, then taunts the crowd, and attempts to whip him to the ropes. Hellfire reverses the whip, catches Stan on the rebound, and starts to execute the Straight to Hell. Stan blocks the move, lifts Hellfire up, turning him as he does so and hits the Steel City Slammer. Stan goes for the cover, but Hellfire kicks out after a one count. The crowd lets out a loud �pop� as Armageddon and Apocalypse start walking down to the ring. Hellfire gets to his feet, and drops Stan with a scoop slam in the middle of the ring, before motioning to his henchmen to get down to the ring.

Bruce: �You don�t have to loose your cool John, I�m sure every one knows what your thinking. And I�m sure they as well as I, agree with you.�

Before Doomsday can reach the ring, a fan jumps the guardrail carrying a steel chair. The fan is wearing a sleeveless flannel shirt, a Wisconsin Badgers hat, and sunglasses. As he rises to his full height it is evident he is as tall, if not taller than both members of Doomsday. The fan tattoos both of them in turn with the chair. He then wallops each of then in the head and back several times. In the ring Hellfire�s evil, smile changes to a look of rage as he watches some unknown assailant bend a chair around the heads of his henchmen.

John: �Who is that guy? Oh my God it�s Archangel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!�

The mysterious man�s identity is clear when he tosses the sunglasses and hat to the ground, and shakes out his long white hair. Archangel then rips the flannel shirt off of his huge upper body and drops it to the ground. Armageddon gets to his feet, and runs at Archangel, who meets him with a boot to the gut, and then drives him down and out with the Holy Cross. He then picks up a near unconscious Apocalypse, and nails him with the Holy Cross as well. After laying out the new tag team champs, Archangel turns to regard the pissed off demon in the ring. Hellfire stares at Archangel, mouthing obscenities, and pays no notice to a now standing and ready Stan. Stan moves up behind Hellfire, spins him around, and unleashes a flurry of right hands on his head. He then whips Hellfire to the ropes, blasts him with a big boot, and nails a giant powerbomb. Stan goes for the cover but gets another two count. He picks Hellfire up and whips him into the ropes for another big boot, followed by a second giant powerbomb. The crowd starts to chant �Stan, Stan, Stan�, as Stan taunts them and signals for the Slammer. He picks up Hellfire and gives him the Steel City Slammer in the center of the ring. He hooks the leg, and leans back as the referee makes the three count. Hellfire gets his shoulder up just a second after the count is over.

Loujack: �Winner by pinfall, and NEW MOW Heavyweight Champion of the World, the one man convoy�Steamroller Stan!!!!!�

John: �Stan won! Stan won! I can�t believe it, Stan Won!�

The crowd cheers loudly as the referee hands Stan the championship belt and he holds it high in the air. Hellfire gets to his feet, and attacks Stan from behind, pounding on him. Archangel hits the ring, and spins Hellfire around, he smiles at his archenemy before giving him the Holy Cross.

Archangel then lays the title belt in the center of the ring, and helps Stan to his feet. He motions to Stan, Hellfire, and the title belt in the middle of the ring. Stan nods, picks up Hellfire, and gives him another giant powerbomb this time onto the title belt. He then picks him up and delivers yet another Steel City Slammer, before Archangel helps him toss Hellfire out of the ring.

Archangel picks up the title belt, and snaps it around Stan�s waist as Aftershock and General James enter the ring to celebrate with their friend. Brimstone and Tremor come out of the back and help Doomsday to their feet, before coming down to ringside. James slides out of the far side of the ring and slides four steel chairs under the ropes before returning to his friends� sides. The four of them hold the chairs threateningly, and watch as the Skull Legion help their leader to his feet, and exit the ring area. The four of them hug, and congratulate Stan as the crowd roars in approval.

John: �Well look at that, an Alliance reunion of sorts. It appears as though the Skull Legion may have gotten dealt a little payback tonight for crimes of the past. Let�s hope it can continue for a while. It has been a great weekend here at Bernie�s house, for Bruce Kincaid, Dr. John Brody, and the rest of the MOW staff, I�m John Taurus saying good night to all. Look for the MOW on television in the next month or so as we renegotiate our TV contract. Good night folks.�

The camera pans up to the night sky, then switches to an aerial view as the carnival begins to shut down and the crowds begin to disperse. We then go to Bernie Lomax sitting on a beat up lawn chair next to several empty beer kegs and a smashed card table.

Bernie has no shoes on and only one sock, his dress shirt is gone, revealing a beer soaked white t-shirt untucked from his black pants. He is wearing his tie around his head, instead of around his neck.

The Rat Bastard is laying several feet to Bernie�s left, he is passed out in a puddle of his own vomit, while the frat boys stand around him still going strong and passing around a two funnel beer bong.

Narn the Mad Celt is now striped to the waist, and is wandering in a circle, yelling in an unintelligible language at the starry sky. Bernie has a glass in one hand and a half full bottle of whiskey in the other. He is swaying from side to side and is very obviously smashed. He stares at all the garbage on the ground and his ruined lawn as the crowd begins to move out of his home. He smiles as he watches the firemen getting the kids off of the Ferris wheel, which overheated an hour ago. Mr. Pickle comes bouncing up to him as he chuckles to himself.

Pickle: �Well, see it wasn�t so bad was it? I mean there was that small fire on your roof, and the well, um, redecorating during the Hardcore Tag match but all in all I�d say it was a fun weekend. Wouldn�t you?�

Bernie: �F(Bleep) you Pickle, F(bleep) you.�

Mr. Pickle�s jaw drops at Bernie�s response, and he begins to walk away shaking his head and muttering about some people not knowing how to have a good time. Bernie looks down at his bottle, then at the glass, then back to the bottle. He tosses the glass over his shoulder, and says �My poor house� before tipping the bottle to his lips and sending whiskey right down his throat. The camera pulls back as Bernie continues to empty the bottle, then goes to an aerial view of the disaster area as the MOW copyright appears on the screen and the picture fades out.