1)  Spastic Colon:
     The total lack of control over my bowels and/or bladder
wouldn't please me


2)  Testicular Cancer:
     Come on, do I have to explain this one?


3)  Herpes:
      I know it can go into remission and that the new drugs against it work miracles, but count me out!


4)  Scarlet Fever:
     Wait, a minute, I already have . . . nevermind


5)  Insomnia:
     Jeez I could never live if I were an insomniac, it would drive
me to the point of insan- OH!  This explains so much!
Diseases I Could Certainly Live Without!
Diseases I Could NOT Live Without!
1)  Dillusions of grandeur:
     I've never suffered from this disease, which explains why I
have been given the long-lost divine Right of Kings to slavishly
command the peons who surround me!!!!!!!!!!!


2)  Gangreen:
     The putrid stench of my rotting flesh keeps those pesky
"people" that walk around school from talking to me


3)  Urinary-Tract Infection:
I don't get why burning pee is tought to be such a "bad" thing.
You people need to live a little more


4)  Testicular Cancer:
     Come on, do I have to explain this one?

5)  Halatosis:
     ::Shiver::  My bum hurts
Go HOME!  Go HOME!  Are you too good for your home?
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