I feel like I'm falling hard, falling fast, spiraling
toward uncertainty, with no one below to catch me,
and then no bottom at all. This shaft, this never
ending shaft, the feeling of nothingness and yet
all the world and its treasure swirling in the pit
as I plummet, as I plunge for eternity
Hold.
What is this feeling, this strange and sudden feeling?
Everything is different, nothing is the same. I look
down below me and I feel so happy to be falling,
endlessly plunging with no apparent reason, no
apprehension but the faint flit of butterflies,
the little twitter of butterflies, in the pit of
my stomach. It is impossible to put into words the
fantastic and terrifying feeling of free-falling
into the unknown.
But I cannot.
How can I be pleased, so very pleased, to be diving
toward such a new and terrifying place. Old life, old
hopes surround me as I plummet, as I fall with no
apparent slowing. They sting my body and slash my face.
Old doubts, old pains bring panic to the pit of my stomach,
to my body, my free-falling body.
A light.
So bright and terrifying, so strange and new. It chases
some fears away, strengthens the others within me.
And I realize that I have no choice, no chance to think
only fall, only plummet to where you are. I beg that you
may catch me and then I begin to understand, begin to see.
So whether or not I like it, whether or not I want it,
I now know that I am anxiously plunging, hopelessly succumbing,
happily falling deep in love with you.
