[something like human]

Title: Something Like Human

Author: rowan

Disclaim: Because…no.

Note: After ‘Something More’, also rather dark. Not an actual sequel, but it does take place after the whole blowjobbery mess of the first part. Also, I dropped another character down in here.

Feedback: The cheese on my pizza, the cinnamon on my toast, the whipped cream on AJ’s tummy…

Quote: "Prove to me/You're something like human" – [Something Like Human. Fuel.]

AJ wishes he could be more like Howie, who seems to have moved on. Howie, who smiles at everyone, even AJ, in the casual manner he has.

AJ thinks he might be a bit of a glutton for punishment, but he can't help it. Can’t stop himself from knocking on the door to the room Howie is sharing with Kevin and asking

"So, you think I could go with you and Kevin?" he asks quickly. "Tonight," he clarifies.

Howie starts to respond, but AJ interrupts. "Don’t say no. I’ll stay out of your way. You won’t even know I’m there."

Howie smiles, because that is a lie. AJ can’t help but to make his presence known everywhere. "I don't know, AJ. You’re a little young," Howie says. He realizes, as soon as he says it, what a hypocrite it makes him seem like. AJ is not young. Howie’s known him long enough to have that figured out. If AJ is old enough to give him a blowjob, he really is old enough to spend a few hours dancing anonymously in a loud dark club in the middle of Paris. Howie thinks it's probably a reflex answer.

Of course, AJ knows this. He scoffs at Howie’s statement. There is a hard glint to his dark eyes. "That’s stupid, Howie. Anyway, I’ll be seventeen next month." At that, AJ is out of arguments. He tries to look hopeful, and not desperate. It must work, because Howie’s frown slides away, to be replaced by a slight grin.

He pats AJ on the shoulder. “You should come. It’ll be fun,” he says, as if the whole thing were his own idea. AJ is elated, but he’s aiming for mature so he just smiles and says, “cool”.

Howie reaffirms it, “cool.”

AJ is relieved to find his room empty when he returns to it; he’s glad he’ll be able to dress without Nick’s questions, comments or opinions. AJ takes a quick shower, necessary in this cheap hotel where the hot water only lasts for minutes at a time. He chooses his outfit carefully: his best black jeans and a dark blue shirt that he’d stolen from Howie last month. He looks at the clock and realizes he is ready two hours before Howie said they’d be leaving. He doesn’t want to leave the room because if he runs into Brian or Nick or Nick’s mom or one of the people Lou keeps on staff just to keep track of their whereabouts, he will have to explain why he is dressed up and where he’s going. He decides to watch TV and prays the time passes quickly.

Ten-o-clock rolls around none too quick for AJ, who is sick of bad American sitcoms made even worse by the poor French dubbing. He knocks nervously on Howie’s door, slightly terrified that they’d gone on without him. The fear is alleviated and replaced by a heavy feeling low in his stomach when Howie answers the door.

“Hey,” Howie says, before turning back to his bed and continuing to rummage through the shirts spread across its surface.

“Hey. How do I look?” AJ asks, because he can’t help it.

Howie pauses to look at him, before reaching down into the small suitcase propped on the pillows at the head of the bed. He pulls out a pair of sunglasses and tosses them to AJ. AJ puts them on and grins at Howie from behind the dark lenses. Kevin comes out of the bathroom, running his fingers through his freshly gelled hair. He smirks at AJ and sits down at the foot of his bed to put his shoes on.

“Ignore him,” Howie tells him. “You look good.”

“Good,” AJ repeats, and keeps the shades on. While he waits for Howie and Kevin to be ready, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror; he thinks he looks hot in Howie’s shirt and Howie’s shades. He wonders where they are going.

The club doesn’t have an actual name, but instead an unrecognizable symbol in bright pink neon hangs low over the door. A bouncer is standing partially in the doorway next to a short guy taking money from the people waiting to enter the club.

AJ is quick to point out that there doesn’t seem to be hardly any girls in line. Howie and Kevin just smile, and tell him not to worry about it. If Howie and Kevin say it’s okay, then it must be.

Inside, the place is crowded and hot and loud. Kevin disappears into the crowd, without a word to either of them. Howie has the good graces to ask AJ if he wants to dance. AJ declines, opting instead to observe this chaos around him. Howie slips away without another word, he and Kevin flowing into the press of male bodies. There are drag queens convened around a small table, pushed up against the railing that circles the dance floor. One of them looks at AJ as he passes. He says something in French that AJ doesn’t understand, but elicits loud laughter from the others. AJ moves a little faster towards where he thinks the bar might be.

AJ slides through the crowd at the bar, snagging what must be the last empty seat in the whole place. Three bartenders pass by without stopping for him. AJ is considering finding Kevin and asking him to buy his drink when someone starts talking to him in rapid French. AJ gives the man a blank stare. They have only been in Paris for about a month, and AJ can barely order from room service.

He laughs softly at AJ’s clueless expression, and tries again: “They’re not going to stop for you. You don’t look a day over fifteen.”

AJ smiles in spite of himself. He turns towards the voice. “Well I am,” he says shortly.

“Ah, you’re an American.” It’s not a question. “I am Etienne,” as he holds out his right hand.

AJ shakes it quickly. Etienne has short dark hair, dark eyes, and a five-o-clock shadow. “AJ.”

“It is nice to meet you.” AJ turns back to the bar. “So what did you want?” Etienne asks.

AJ is confused for a minute until he realized Etienne is asking about drinks. “Oh, right. Just a beer or something,” he said, wondering why he feels so shy all of a sudden. Etienne holds his hand up for a second and a short guy with blond hair stops in front of them.

“I’ll have another.”

The bartender looks at Etienne, his drink, still mostly full, and finally at AJ and smirks. The beer comes in a big iced glass, foaming over the top.

AJ’s not sure he should take it. He isn’t sure where this going. “Man, you don’t have to. I don’t need it.”

Etienne smiles, his teeth shiny and white. “Don’t worry about it, I want to.”

AJ thinks ‘fuck it’. He smiles back and sips the beer tentatively at first, but by the time it’s half gone, he is drinking in healthy gulps. An hour passes. AJ is on his second beer and Etienne is still smiling at him. They are laughing and talking; Etienne gestures wildly and touches AJ’s leg a lot. AJ is still not worrying. He decides, in fact, that he likes it here. He likes Etienne.

So it’s not a big deal when Etienne offers him another drink, this time a shot. AJ gulps down the clear liquid, and it burns his throat and makes him cough. And even that is funny. AJ can feel his heart beating in time with the bass of the music, heavy in his chest.

He has had one more shot and a third beer when Etienne stands up and asks AJ if he wants to get away for a little bit, AJ says ‘yes’ mostly because he wants to see what’s going to happen. He thinks he knows. He smiles and nods up at Etienne. He stumbles a little when he tries to climb down. The ground is swaying beneath his feet, and he grips Etienne’s arm tightly to keep from falling. He lets himself be led through the crowd of dancers milling around by the bar.

The bathroom is covered from floor to ceiling in dark blue tile and empty. Etienne is not much taller than AJ is, but it feels like he is when he presses AJ back against the wall near the sinks. He leans in, touching his mouth to AJ’s. Etienne’s cheeks are rough and harsh against AJ’s face. AJ doesn’t protest; he expected this. He just opens his mouth to Etienne’s tongue and lets himself be kissed. Etienne grinds his hips down against AJ and AJ moans a little from deep in his throat. AJ feels his lust building as Etienne touches him with strong searching hands.

AJ’s breath catches in his throat when Etienne breaks the kiss to slide down his body. AJ’s pants fall around his ankles and he reaches behind him, trying in vain to grip the wall behind him. The tile is slippery and cool beneath his hands. AJ closes his eyes as Etienne takes him into his mouth. The alcohol has made him feel sluggish and dull, but this mouth, hot and alive on his cock makes his heart race and his breathing shallow. Etienne is sucking him down with enthusiasm. His hands grip AJ’s hips and he moans quietly. AJ isn’t thinking clearly when his orgasm clubs him over the back of his head and he sees stars. Etienne swallows.

AJ is shivering slightly as Etienne tucks him back into his shorts and pulls up his jeans, re-fastening them. He stands up, licking his lips. He kisses AJ again, quickly and whispers into AJ’s ear, “my turn?”

AJ can only nod stupidly and he lets Etienne guide him to his knees. Etienne opens his pants and there it is, a cock, angry and red and hard. Suddenly AJ feels nausea floating in his stomach. He tries to take a deep breath but all he can smell is Etienne, hot and masculine and strange. AJ opens his mouth and Etienne pushes in. AJ lets Etienne do all the work. He thrusts slowly in and out of AJ’s mouth. AJ closes his eyes and focuses on not being sick. Etienne comes in a flood down AJ’s throat, his cries echoing off the tile.

AJ tries to swallow the foulness that has invaded his mouth, but he barely makes it into one of the stalls before he feels everything coming back up. Through the pain and the fog of his brain, he hears the door open and close, and he knows Etienne is gone. AJ is filled with pain as his stomach empties itself of alcohol. He hears the door open again.

“AJ? You in here?”

AJ coughs and sinks back against the wall with his knees up and his forehead resting on his crossed arms. He looks up when a shadow falls across him, and he sees Howie standing there. He looks sad. Wordlessly, Howie extends a hand to help and AJ takes it with some hesitation. He thinks this might be one of the few times that Howie lectures him, and he really doesn’t want to hear it.

Howie does not lecture. He helps AJ to stand and walk to the sink. He stands by and watches as AJ washes his face and rinses his mouth with lukewarm water. When AJ realizes Howie is not mad, and doesn’t plan on yelling, AJ thinks he might cry. He definitely feels a knot forming in his throat and tears pricking at the backs of his eyes.

“I was worried about you,” Howie says. And at that, the tears AJ has been holding back slide down his cheeks, scalding him. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

The music seems louder when they exit the bathroom. AJ expects Howie to lead him down to the dance floor, to where he can see Kevin dancing surrounded by shirtless men. Howie leans close to him

“The car will come back for Kevin later; he wants to stay.” AJ just nods and leans on Howie more. His head feels like it’s full of cotton and the strobe lights and noise are blurring together.

AJ falls asleep in the van, with his head Howie’s lap.

[Fin.]

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