[something more]

Title: Something More

Author: rowan

Note: Rather dark.

Disclaimer: Really, by now, you should know better.

Feedback: The JC to my ‘most beautiful boy on the planet’, the matchbox to my twenty, the peanut butter to my chocolate…

Quote: “All the more I want / All the more I need/ All the while you want something more” [train]

It starts in the beginning, before the world screams for them, before girls will sleep in the rain for them, when two of them were way underage and they are in Europe- living on a bus, and learning to exist with no personal space. It starts because one night, in a bunk, AJ gives Howie a blowjob.

Everyone is asleep when AJ crouches down there, reveling in the contrast between hard and soft buried in his throat, thinking that he’s possibly maybe a little in love, and what a cool boyfriend Howie’s going to be, and a lot of other stuff. But, mostly that this is a lot of fun.

Fun to be able to make Howie moan lie that. Fun to have Howie’s fingernails dragging across his scalp. AJ squeezes Howie’s thighs tighter and breathes through his nose.

Howie lays back, with one forearm across his closed eyes, and one hand running over the stubble on AJ’s head, and bites his lip to keep from making noise. Howie thinks that he should know better.

Better than to let this sixteen-year-old kid suck his dick. Better, at 22, than to be making mistakes like this. And, he thinks, what a huge mistake this is. But, my God! Where did he learn to do that?

Down between his thighs, AJ groans, and Howie comes, swallowing his own groan. AJ sits up as best he can in the small cramped space of Howie’s bunk, and wipes the back of his hand across his bruised red lips. Howie grabs him by the shoulder, pulls AJ to him and kisses him. Howie’s lips are warm and his tongue is hot in the moist caverns of AJ’s mouth. Howie slides a hand down between their bodies and brings AJ off with three hard twists of his wrists. AJ has never come so hard, and he is panting as he collapses forward on Howie’s body, hot and sticky.

Howie catches his breath, and says; “you should go. Sleep in your own bed. We can talk and stuff in the morning,” which, he figures is the right thing to say, then. It must be, because other that an odd look, AJ leaves without a word.

AJ slides out from Howie’s bunk, across the tiny path, and climbs up into his own, careful to avoid stepping on Nick’s errant limbs. He falls asleep quickly, tasting Howie on his tongue.

They don’t have time to talk in the morning, or for the rest of that day. Or most of the next. They end up with the evening off, trapped in a hotel because of a blizzard.

AJ goes by the room Howie is sharing with Kevin and knocks. The door opens a crack and Howie sticks his head out.

“Can we talk now?”

Howie smiles. “Sure, hold on.” Howie ducks back in and closes the door. AJ lets out the breath he’s been holding. Howie rejoins him after a minute.

“What’s up,” Howie asks, smiling.

“You said we’d talk. About what happened. On Wednesday.”

Howie nods, “did you have a question or something?”

“Well, not really. Just…” And AJ moves in, close to Howie, draws his arms up around Howie’s neck, links his hand loosely. “Could we do it again?” And he kisses him softly, lips trembling slightly. AJ licks Howie’s lower lip with the just the tip of his tongue.

Howie does not kiss him back, but instead reaches up and takes AJ’s arms down and steps back.

“AJ, listen. What we did wasn’t a mistake, but it still wasn’t a good idea. It was really nice, but we shouldn’t do it again. Understand?”

AJ thinks he does: Howie isn’t going to be his boyfriend afterall. He nods. “Yeah, sure. I got it. Bad idea. It’s cool, D.”

Howie smiles again. “Ok. Good night, AJ.” Howie turns to his room, opens the door, and after one quick look back at AJ, slips into the room. AJ hears a throaty giggle cut off in the middle by the door closing.

AJ stands there. He looks at the ugly carpet and waits for his heart to stop beating so fast. After a minute, he gives up and returns to his room. Earlier, he had drawn the long straw and was without a roommate. AJ strips down to his boxers and turns the TV on with the volume low.

The lock on the mini-bar is really easy to pick. AJ falls asleep halfway through his fourth beer.

~Fin. ~

[back home]