It Can Only Be Q
Captain Kirk was gripping his chair tightly to keep from being thrown out of it as another ionic surge from the storm slammed into the Enterprise. "Have you figured out where the eye is, Mr. Spock?" he yelled over the screaming red alert siren.
"Negative, Captain!" Spock said with his voice raised also. "It seems that this is not your typical storm. Rather the ions are being charged by another energy force." He said as he tightly hung on to his instrument panel.
"Mr. Sulu!" he yelled as he picked himself up off the deck where he had landed after a particularly hard jolt had thrown him. "Keep her nose perpendicular to the energy waves!"
"Aye sir!" yelled the beleaguered human.
Suddenly there was silence. Spock quickly checked his instruments and reported, "Sir? The storm seems to have just dissipated."
Kirk whirled and looked at the view screen to see a normal field of stars.
"Yes," said a voice from the upper bridge. "I do do nice work."
Kirk's eyes widened as he looked at a man wearing an admiral's uniform. He didn't know this admiral and he knew that there wasn't one on the ship. He almost groaned. Another first contact. "And you are?" he asked skeptically.
"Oh yes! That's right! I just got this rank. You can call me Admiral Q" said Q beaming.
"Admiral of what division of Star Fleet?" Spock asked with a skeptically raised eyebrow of his own.
"Why Admiral of crewman's prayers, of course. No matter how big," he gestured to the screen, "or how small," he said smiling lewdly at Spock. "Ah, Capitan! I really can't stay long. I have a lot of prayers to answer. But I need to borrow you first officer for a sec."
"Now wait a minute..." Kirk started to sputter.
With a snap of his fingers both Q and Mr. Spock disappeared in a flash of light.
Spock found himself with Q in a crewman's quarters.
"Mr. Spock. It has come to my attention that you are the answer to someone's prayers." Q began without preamble.
Spock's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"Yes. I find it hard to believe too. Vulcans are a notoriously dull and inhibited lot." Q put a finger to his chin considering. "Still although I counseled her to try other means to satisfy herself, including moi, she is only going to be happy with you."
Spock was stunned into silence as whose quarters he was in started to occur to him.
Q grinned wolfishly, "Cheer up my Vulcan sex toy. I am not totally without sympathy for your plight. So after some research I discovered that there are many Christine Chapel look-alikes. All with different personalities and all different ages. Not all from the same universe or time line, of course. Surely one of them will melt the ice in your glacial heart."
Spock was gaping at him.
"Well I must be off. So many prayers to answer and it's a big galaxy. Oh, before I go, one more thing. You won't be able to get out until you satisfy Christine...It seems that even the computer, whose voice pattern bears a shockingly identical pattern to hers wants to see her satisfied too."
Spock blustered, "I can't believe you did that!"
"Well it was your fault really. Giving Christine all those demeaning little tasks to keep her out of your sight. Making her press her vocal patterns onto the computer voice system while you took your physical. Tsk tsk Now wasn't that a bit mean?"
And with that Q snapped his fingers and disappeared. At almost the same time Christine Chapel, Lwaxanna Troi, Number One, and five or six others appeared all disconcerted and all talking at once.
Spock whirled and raced to the door. It wouldn't open. "Computer, medical emergency, open the door!" Spock yelled.
"I can not comply with your request. Medical emergency not detected. Dear." And with that the women fell on him.
END