Title: Down at UFOnics

Author: MajandraSoLucky

Rating: M (PG-13) for some ... interesting innuendoes.

Disclaimer: Not mine, I'm but a lowly turd-in-limbo

Summary: On an M&M 'off day', the Roswellian females hit UFOnics, setting off an interesting chain of events. All couples.

Comment: A non-songfic! Wow, pretty big for me. Anyway, the story is pretty self-explanatory.

"I hope you realise I am never speaking to you again!" Maria DeLuca screamed at Michael Guerin.

"Fine!" Michael yelled back, and they both stormed off in opposite directions. Max Evans sighed. Another incredibly public Maria and Michael break-up. Of course, Max and Liz Parker were still basically not a couple, due to the whole destiny deal. Even though the girl Max was supposedly destined to be with, Tess Harding had it bad for Kyle Valenti. And he couldn't blame her really. She needed a normal life, some humanising. And if Kyle could do it � well.

Speak of the devil � Tess walked up to him. �Hey Max,� she said. �What�s up?�

�Another Maria and Michael break-up,� he told her. She rolled her eyes.

�Typical. Anyway, have you seen that sister of yours? We have this English assignment due, and our last three study sessions were spent giving each other manicures,� Tess joked. �Have you seen Kyle? He has my keys.�

Sure he does, Max thought. �Uh, music room? Drum kit.�

�Thanks, and don�t forget to remind Isabel about the assignment.�

@-}- @-}-

�Liz, how come? I mean, we were doing so well! 3 weeks! That�s like a Maria and Michael record. And then we break up � again,� Maria raved. She paced around the music room. Liz watched her best friend.

�What was the fight about?�

�I dunno! Something idiotic,� Maria wailed. Tears started falling, Liz tried to cheer her up.

Suddenly, someone opened the door and burst in.

�Kyle? Are you in here?� Tess said. She spotted Liz and Maria. �Oh, I�m sorry. I was looking for Kyle.�

�He left when Hurricane DeLuca blew in,� Liz said. Maria sniffled.

�Whets wrong?� Tess asked.

�Michael and I had a fight,� Maria cried. Tess and Liz exchanged a �what�s new� look. �You know what you need?� Tess said, changing the subject. �A girls night. What if we all go to your place on Friday, Liz? On Friday night? Us 3 and Isabel.�

�Yeah, sounds great. My parents are out all weekend, it�ll be no problem,� Liz agreed. �We�ll fix the details later. I�ll call you.�

@-}- @-}-

�You went out with HIM?� Tess squealed. �Doug Sohn? He�s such a � a ��

�Sleaze? Goober?� Isabel offered, bursting into renewed laughter.

�It was � temporary insanity,� Maria defended.

�What, did us aliens give your brain back?� Tess said sweetly.

�Lizzy had a crush on him too,� Maria said, throwing a pillow at said best friend.

�I did not!� she yelled.

�Did too!�

�Did not!�

�Did too, did too, did too, nanananana,� Maria said, sticking her tounge out at Liz, who threw the pillow back. Maria squealed, then threw it back. Liz ducked, and the pillow hit an ill-fated blonde alien. Tess let out an indignant yell, and threw a pillow at Maria. After a good 45 seconds of pillow war, Liz decided to kill Isabels Switzerland impersation. Soon, all 4 were in pillow war, guerilla mode, all out to the death. Or at least �

�Truce!� Isabel yelled, as all 3 pillows hit her.

�Okay, okay,� Liz said. They all calmed down a fraction.

�Hey, you know what we should do?� Tess said. �Theres that dance club down town, and it�s truly a travesty not to grace such a place with 4 gorgeous knock outs such as ourselves.�

�UFOnics?� Liz asked as Isabel hit Tess with a pillow. Maria sighed.

�Not again, you got it?� Maria informed Isabel. �We should go out. It�s only 8pm, and there was a serious lack of chick flicks at the video store.�

�That�s because my brother is really big on all those cheerleader flicks,� Isabel said, as Liz cracked up.

�Lets go,� Maria said.

�Now?� Isabel asked.

�Why not? Besides, you should see Lizzys collection of skank clothes,� Maria said impishly.

�Maria Rose DeLuca!� Liz yelled. �They are not �skank� clothes.�

�No?�

�They�re �attempt to get over alien boyfriend/ ex-boyfriend/ just friend by dressing to kill and showing my legs off to half of Roswell� clothes,� Liz said, blushing.

Tess whooped. �You go girl!�

Half an hour later, 4 made up girls headed out the door and piled into Maria�s Jetta. Little did they know what was about to begin �

@-}- @-}-

Liz stepped into the crowded room. It was hot and smelt of smoke. The music was pumped at an earsplitting volume. People were dancing, and the combination of everything made the room feel like it was � vibrating. Shaking. Maria, Isabel and Tess followed Liz in. Two college guys eyed them, smiling. Tess and Isabel smiled back at them.

�I�m going in,� Tess decided. �Is my hair okay?�

�Hey, Lizs skank clothes really work on you, Tess. You�ve got nothing to worry about,� Maria said, earning another indignant look from Liz.

�I�ll go too,� Isabel suggested. They walked over to them slowly and coolly.

Maria walked over to the bar. �I�m going over to the bar to get a drink. You coming?� she asked Liz.

�Nah, I�ll stay here. Meet you in a minute.�

As Maria disappeared into the crowd of bopping people, Liz felt a guy brush past her, and he turned around.

�Oh, I�m sorry � Liz?�

�Jerry?�

�HI!�

Jerry. Lizs old boyfriend from Junior High. Still as gorgeous as ever, Liz noted. Same blond hair, blue eyes, killer body, great smile, strong shoulders �

�How�ve you been?� he asked.

�Good!�

�Good. That�s, uh, that�s good.�

�You, uh, wanna dance?� Liz asked.

�Sure.�

A fast song started up, and Liz and Jerry began to dance. She spun around, leaning into him. It was so much fun � but one thing marred it.

He wasn�t Max.

She excused herself and walked over to the bar. The guy at the counter poured her a vodka. She took a long swig, and the guy poured her another.

7 drinks later, she began to dance with Jerry again. It was starting not to matter that he wasn�t Max.

@-}- @-}-

Isabel and Tess sat at a table with the two college guys. One had dark hair, great body and was flirting his ass of with Isabel. Tess smiled. Isabel seemed to be having a lot of fun. And Steve the other college guy? Well, he was tall, dark, handsome � but he seemed to have a sign hanging over his head. It was a tacky neon sign. It flashed two words over and over again � NOT KYLE NOT KYLE NOT KYLE NOT KYLE NOT KYLE NOT KYLE NOT KYLE NOT KYLE NOT KYLE NOT KYLE �

�Hey, you gonna drink that or look at it?� Steve teased. �Because, uh, there are much better things you could be looking at.�

�Oh is there?� Tess said flirtatously.

�Uh-huh.�

Tess took a sip of her drink. In that second, a fog fell over her brain. Everything went out of focus and fuzzy for a minute, then regained sharp, intense focus. Tess noticed Isabel had finished her drink too.

�You wanna dance?� Tess asked Steve.

�Sure.�

Soon, they were slow dancing together. Tess lay her head on Steves shoulder. Steve was nice. And cute. And soooooo much better than stupid Chia-Head Valenti. Steve was actually paying attention to her. Tess honestly didn�t get how she could parade around the house in skimpy tops, leave her underwear on display in the bathroom and he still wasn�t getting the hint. Maybe it was the buddhist self control thing going down.

�You�re a good dancer,� Tess informed Steve matter-of-factly.

�You too.�

�Thanks,� she said, leaning in to kiss him. She kissed him lightly � but there was a total lack of chemistry.

�You�re a good kisser,� she told him, lying through her teeth.

�You too,� he answered, nibbling her ear. Tess�s stomach recoiled.

�Are you going to say that all night?� she teased.

�No. I was going to ask if you and I should take this little party up to Buckley Point,� Steve whispered in her ear.

Tess�s mind, the part that wasn�t covered by alcohol fog, screamed that that was a bad idea. But the fog seemed to think it would be sort of fun.

The fog won that argument.

@-}- @-}-

Maria sat at the bar with a gorgeous guy. They�d both had quite a bit to drink, and were still going at it.

�So, you�re Paul,� Maria said matter-of-factly.

�And you�re Maria,� he answered, sculling a glass of vodka.

�So, are you going to dance with me, or will I have to settle for the table?�

He grinned. �What do you think?�

Maria climbed on top of the nearest table as a fast song started up. She began to dance. Groove Armada. People gathered around, hooting and cheering. As she danced her heart out, she heard snippets of conversation.

�Hey, who�s that?�

�Maria DeLuca.�

�The waitress at the Crashdown Caf�?�

�Yeah, that�s her.�

�Never knew she had it in her.�

�Dude, she�s totally drunk.�

�Go Maria!�

Soon, the chant filled the entire room. �Go Maria! Go Maria! Go Maria!�

The music blared in the room. �I see you baby � shaking that ass � shaking that ass � shaking that ass � I see you baby � shaking that ass � shaking that ass ��

Maria took full advantage of all the attention she was getting. This was fun. This was completely free of moody Czechaslovakian ex/non boyfriends. She didn�t need the stupid Spaceboy. Really.

Oh, keep telling yourself that, the sober part of her brain scolded.

@-}- @-}-

The Roswellian males sat at a booth at the Crashdown. Michael had a funny gut feeling � for some reason, he sensed he should go to UFOnics. Which was nuts, considering he NEVER went there. As in NEVER. But it seemed important. For some strange unknown reason.

It was about Maria. Relax, he told himself. She�s up at Lizs, having a girls night, remember?

�Hey, you guys wanna hit UFOnics?� Kyle said, trying to sound causal.

�Lets go,� Alex and Max immediately said. They all piled into the Jeep and drove to UFOnics.

When they walked in the door, Groove Armada was playing incredibly loud. The first person they encounterd was an extremely drunk Isabel. She fell into Alexs arms.

�Hey! You wanna dance with me?� she asked, giggling insanely.

�No, I think I�d better take you home,� Alex said. He and Michael half led, half carried Isabel out to the Jeep.

�Where are the others?� Max asked Isabel.

�Ohh, Tess went to Buckley Point with Steve,� she giggled.

�Max, give me the keys,� Kyle said stonly. Alex took Isabel out of the Jeep, and Kyle peeled out of the parking lot in the direction of Buckley Point.

�Where are Liz and Maria?� Max asked his sister.

�Liz � I dunno,� Isabel said slowly, between giggles. �But Maria is on the table.�

Isabel erupted into giggles as Michael ran into the dance club. He scanned the room to see a familiar blonde � on the table � shaking that ass �

@-}- @-}-

Max scanned the room for Liz. He heard a familiar scream.

�Get off me!�

�Liz!�

�Max! What are you doing here?�

He saw Liz on a table, with Jerry right on top of her. She was screaming for him to get off her. Quickly, Max grabbed Jerry and threw him off Liz.

�Who are you?� Jerry said.

�A friend. And when she says get off, you get off, okay?� Max said coldly.

�Hey, I don�t care. She�s just a chick. Theres plenty of other fish in the � in the ��

�Sea,� Liz voluteered.

�Right. Big, blue, wet ��

�Lets go Liz,� Max said, helping her out of the dance club.

They stood outside, gazing at the stars.

�What were you doing here anyway, Max?�

�I had a feeling ��

�What kind of feeling?�

�You were in trouble. I had to help.�

�So you dragged everyone else along,�

�No, they all had feelings about this too.�

�Yeah, well lets hope Michael can get Maria off the table.�

�You�re gonna have to explain how that happened.�

�Ask her yourself.�

@-}- @-}-

�I see you baby � shaking that thang � shaking that thang � shaking that thang � don�t be looking at me like that now I see ya!�

Michael wormed his way to the front of the crowd. He had to get her out of here, before she made an even bigger fool out of herself. But it was hard when she was shaking distractedly like that �

�Maria!�

She peered down at him.

�Just get lost, Spaceboy!�

�Look, could you come down from there, I need to talk to you.�

�Nuh uh.�

�Maria � It�s important.�

�Then say it now.�

� I sort of wanted to tell you in private.�

�If you can�t say it in front of my adoring fans, then you can�t say it at all,� Maria said, still shaking.

�Fine! I love you.�

�What?�

�I LOVE YOU MARIA!�

All was silent except for the blaring music. Maria stopped shaking and looked down at Michael.

�Oh my god!�

She fell straight off the table, into Michaels arms. He carried her out of the dance club, and the whole club began to applaud.

�Go Guerin!�

�Aww, aren�t they such a cute couple.�

�Weren�t they the couple that were making out in the middle of the hallway in May?�

�Talk about a table dance, DeLuca!�

�Maria, where are your keys?� he asked her. She passed them to him.

�Maybe you should drive,� she said matter-of-factly.

�You think?�

�Did you mean that?� she said suddenly.

�Yeah. And I hope like hell that you actually remember that in the morning, otherwise it was a total waste of time.�

�Dorkbutt.�

Everyone piled into the Jetta, and headed for Lizs. The girls fell asleep immediately, and Max, Michael and Alex positioned themselves on Lizs balcony.

�What now?� Max asked.

�We wait for Kyle and Tess.�

@-}- @-}-

Kyle drove up to Buckley Point, cursing under his breath. Why hadn�t he just given in to temptation and gotten somewhere with Tess? Now this Steve guy was gonna take advantage of her drunken state.

He parked the Jeep next to a red mini. Inside, an eerie blue glow shined. Inwardly he groaned. Oh. No. Tess was letting her powers get out of control. He opened the door of the mini to see Tess sitting in the car calmly. The guy next to her was bathed in an eerie blue forcefield.

�Tess, what did you do?� Kyle demanded.

�He tried to take my skirt off. So I trapped him in this bubble,� she said, sounding insanely proud of herself. She started to fluff up her blonde curls.

�You gotta make the bubble disappear,� he told her.

�You are such a party pooper, Valenti.�

�Tess, he can�t know you�re, uh, different.�

�Fine! Geez, you guys all worry too much,� she grumbled. The �bubble� dissolved.

�Wha � what am I doing here?� Steve said.

�You�re a creep! Come on Kyle, lets go!� Tess said haughtily.

Tess stumbled into the Jeep, and Kyle drove her back to the Parkers place. He carried her to Lizs room. Moments before they reached the door, she grabbed him and kissed him. He nearly fell over from the shock. Instead, he kissed her back. She murmered something he didn�t catch. Something about �no neon sign�. It didn�t matter.

He put her down on her sleeping bag. She immediately fell asleep. The guys left and Kyle could only hope she�d remember that kiss the next morning.

@-}- @-}-

�Oh my god, what a night!� Liz said, as she, Isabel, Tess and Maria all sat in the Parkers kitchen, nursing bowls of ice cream. Liz had called Agnes and Karen to take over their shifts, due to Liz and Maria�s hangovers. Isabel and Tess, being aliens, didn�t get hangovers. Maria hated them at that point in time.

�It was sort of fun though,� Isabel said.

�Oh, puh-lease. Your ex boyfriend didn�t try to do you on the table,� Liz retorted.

�Yeah, well Kyle �rescued� me from Steve,� Tess added. �Actually, he made me take Steve out of the bubble I put him in for trying to take my dress off. Oh, and then I kissed him.�

�Go Tess! So, are you and Kyle a couple? Huh huh huh?� Liz pressed.

�I dunno � depends.�

�Well, I did it. I got Mr Stonewall to confess that he loves me. In front of the entire club!�

�Oh my god!� Isabel squealed. �He did?�

�Uh-huh. Straight after the table dance.�

�TABLE DANCE?� Tess screamed.

�You didn�t know?�

�NO!�

�It�s true,� a voice piped up. They whipped around to see the guys behind them, Michael wearing a cute, but irratating lil smirk.

�I see you baby,� Max imitated.

�Shaking that ass �� Alex and Michael chimed in.

�You guys are NEVER gonna let me live that down, are you?� Maria said, placing her head in her hands.

�Shaking that ass,� Isabel and Liz teased. �Shaking that ass.�

�Oh get over it,� Michael said. �She already knows I love her. And her ass.�

�Still,� Max said pointedly. Isabel groaned. She so knew what was coming. �That was insanely stupid. Especially you and Tess, Izzy.�

�Oh, puh-lease, Mr Sparkly Parking Meters,� Liz laughed.

�Yeah, and Tess! You totally let your powers get out of control,� Kyle scolded.

�Kyle, Steve deserved it totally.�

�Yeah, but I don�t want anything bad to happen to you,� he said, kissing Tess on the nose. She sighed with happiness.

�Liz? In answer to your question? I�m thinking yes.�

Michael turned to Maria. �You are never table dancing again, got that? Unless of course, it�s for me.�

�You are soooooo gone,� Isabel groaned.

THE END

[ Fanfic ]