Author: Maitimo Nelyafinwe
Rating: PG
Fandom: Original / Greek mythology
Pairing: Narcissus/Narcissus
Status: Completed
Summary: If any of you are familiar with Speech and Debate competions, you'll know what an original performance is. This is a play written by me which had to fit in a 10 minute time-frame, use no props and no additional actors. This particular piece won first place at the Southern Indiana Regional meet and at the Indiana State Forensics competition after carrying me through a perfect season. In it, Narcissus, having accidentally drowned himself, stares mournfully into the river Styx...only to find that his lover is also dead! As for the performance of it, Narcissus walked like Haldir and talked like a cross between Eddie Izzard and Nathan Lane.
Warning: None
IF HE NEVER KNOWS HIMSELF
By Conner Hoskins
Teaser:
[Narcissus approaches the water�s edge, with the countenance of a gentleman tentatively entering his lover�s chamber. He pushes the reeds aside and kneels by the pool. With one delicate finger, he touches the pools surface.]
Darling? Wake up, darling. Oh, no, don�t get dressed. It�s only me. I must speak to you. I feel that you�ve been avoiding me lately. Well... [Smiling, almost seductively] we barely spend a moment of the day out of each other�s site. And you�re just as beautiful as the day we met...but there�s something about you...so...unattainable. And you�re so quiet! [Nagging] You never answer me when I speak. [With passion] Oh, my love, you�re so near...and yet so far! [As if in sudden realization] But I�ve never been good with long distance relationships! [Pause] Oh, I forgive you. I cannot be angry when your lips are so full...and they smile so perfectly at me. [Breathlessly] Oh, don�t look at me like that! You know just what undoes me! I can�t stand it, my love. Come, come to the water�s surface...and kiss me!
[Leans down]
Introduction:
And with that passionate kiss declaring his undying love, Narcissus succeeded in drowning. Shocked by his own unexpected death, Narcissus grudgingly crosses the river Styx. In the grey underworld, he is parted from his love, and walks in utter loneliness on the river�s banks. There, he is miraculously reunited with his lover. What follows is a somewhat one-sided lover�s quarrel. Robert Louis Stevenson once said that "Vanity dies hard; in some very obstinate cases it outlives the man." If He Never Knows Himself.
[Narcissus walks slowly, arms folded. He sneers.]
What a dreadful place this is. And Gods! Look at that disgusting river! [Peers out over the Styx with disdainful expression] You would think that Hades would spare a moment of his immortality to decorate � [Exaggeratedly lowers EYES ONLY. Pause] Oh. It�s you. Have you nothing to say, then? No apology? No �I�m sorry I wasn�t where I said I�d be when I said I�d be there?� Well, that is just typical of you, isn�t it? What are you doing down here anyway? Probably got yourself killed while off on your meandering way with some other man!
I died a most tragic death...you see, my lover promised to meet me at the surface of a lovely little puddle for a single kiss, for that was all I asked of him, and then he wasn�t there. And I died. [Turns suddenly and points accusatory finger at reflection.] This is entirely your fault, you know.
What an idiot I am for believing anything you tell me. You fraud! You trickster! You lied to me. And I trusted you to be there, waiting with open arms, like I dreamed you would be. Funny...it almost seemed as though you were going leap out of the pool when I came down to you. Ah, but that is more of your trickery. You wanted me to think that you�d be there to catch me, so that the surprise of your absence was all the more painful. What did I ever do to deserve such wicked spite from you? Of course, I suppose I�m not entirely blameless in the matter. I should have suspected you from the beginning. I should have listened to my mother. �Go on, fall in love,� she told me, �and you�ll break your own heart.�
[Narrowing his eyes]
Oh, no! Don�t you dare try to win me back with those pretty eyes and pouting lips! I�m tired of being manipulated by you and your fair countenance. Maybe that�s what�s wrong with you...you know how gorgeous you are. Ugh, I despise vanity! It leads to infidelity, you know.
Ah. So, the truth comes out. Don�t try to deny it, your eyes betray you! You loathsome infidel! You thief of hearts! Am I nothing more than a plaything for your passions? Did you think you could just pick me up and put me back down? Mister, this is NOT Brokeback Mount Olympus![Devastated] You cheated on me!
[Tearfully] I must have been blind not to notice. It was so obvious. Oh, you can tell me that I�m just being emotional and jealous, but I distinctly remember that every time I took my eyes off you, you looked at someone else!
Will you remain silent, then? No compassion for your mate? No loving embrace to offer? You sicken me! No, don�t try to apologize, it�s too late. Our love is dead. Our romance is no more. Our passion is spent. My very soul is shattered by your rude handling! If we had children, I would eat them! [Pause, Narcissus looks into the water with the Ultimate Expression of Hurt] Are you...mocking me? Even I didn�t think you so malicious! Stop that! Stop that this instant! You ruined my life! I hate you! [Narcissus slaps the water angrily, then, having been splashed, wipes his face off on his arm] You spat on me! You vile, depraved pig! [Narcissus yells wildly now in abandon, furiously beating the water�s surface, disrupting the water until his reflection is unrecognisable] You wicked thief of love! You lecherous, abject, detestable knave! You�re awful! You�re wretched! You�re intolerable, beastly, cheap! You�re contemptible, you�re low, you�re evil, you�re fat, you�re stupid, you�re ugly...you�re gone.
My love? My dear? Where are you? [Now frantic, Narcissus pushes his hands through the water, trying to find his reflection] Oh, gods forgive me if I�ve frightened you away! I know not what horrid mood came over me! My love, come back! I�m sorry! [He is still for a moment, despairing, in tears. Then, he looks down to see his reflection, though it is still quivering with ripples] There you are! Oh, I feared for you! What have I done? I have made you weep, and look how you tremble. You must be freezing in that awful river...you should have asked me; I�d have lent you the money for the boatman if I�d known he would toss you in.
[Narcissus speaks quietly, his calm returning gradually. His words are tinged with guilt] You know, you really should say something to me when I lose my head like that. I had no right to call you all those awful names. I�m no better myself. And...you didn�t ruin my life. And if we had children, I would cherish them. And...I don�t hate you. In fact, I love you with all my heart. And I�m very glad you�re here. Now, if you�ll forgive me, I should very much like to try and kiss you again...more carefully, this time. [Narcissus leans down very slowly and tenderly kisses the water�s surface. This attempt is far more successful than the last.] Oh, that was lovely. Your mouth is so cool! And your lips flow over mine like � like water! Bit sloppy, though, aren�t you? And...your...breath is a bit like fish...but no matter. The Underworld would be insufferably dull without you. [Narcissus lays down on the bank, staring amorously at his relection.] Hm. Whoever said love was in vain...must not have know about us. [Touches the water�s surface gently.] For Our love blooms more beautifully than any flower in the world. Goodnight.