GM vs Microsoft 

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry
and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like
the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." 

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued
a press release stating (by Mr Welch himself): If GM
had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics: 

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice
a day. 

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you
would have to buy a new car. 

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for
no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and
drive on. 

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine. 

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless
you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have
to buy more seats. 

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy
to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the
roads. 

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning
lights would be replaced by a single "general car
default" warning light. 

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
size butt. 

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before
going off. 

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key,
and grab hold of the radio antenna. 

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a
deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM
subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor
want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by
50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for
investigation by the Justice Department. 

12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers
would have to learn how to drive all over again
because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car. 

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the
engine.