December 5th 2001
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QUOTE OF THE ISSUE
" My English vocabulary will hopefully improve at the end of my US visit. In fact, I already know the two words that Americans tell me the most - SHUT UP and GET OUT"
- Rajeevan "Lungi Team" Velayudhan in an interview to Kannurites.
THE NEWS OF THE WORLD:
1. LICENSE ISSUE- "KOTTAN" ARVIND RULES OUT FOUL PLAY (Sacramento, DEC 2001):
Kannur's "Man of Mystery" and the former 1998 batch allrounder, "Kottan" Arvind (EEE, 1998) said here yesterday that he does not believe there is any foul play in his not getting a US driver's license for the past two years. At a "Meet the Man" talk show on ABC TV last night he modestly put the blame for the fiasco at his own doorstep. He said that during the first test in Raleigh last year, he had driven the car on the left side of the road forgetting that the driving directions are the opposite of India in the US. His pleas of "nostalgia" was rejected by the Instructor, and he failed the test. The next time in California, he had executed everything superbly and had almost cleared the test, until the Instructor had asked him to stop the car. Unfortunately, instead of pressing the brakes, he pressed the accelerator and crashed into the pavement and again failed the test.
Kottan said that in the post-September 11 scenario, his fans were tempted to blame Al-Qaida for the disasters, but he had decided to come out with the truth. He promised to keep everyone updated with his next atempt.
2. VIKAS GETS EMAIL ID, ENDS FAST (Bangalore, DEC 2001):
In a peaceful resolution to the "Give me Office Email address" agitation launched by Vikas "Ganu" Ravindran (ECE, 1998), the Sonata Software Company has decided to give email access to all of its employees from next year. The tense standoff had started ever since Vikas started his fast to get an official email access from his company. Vikas pointed out "even a company like CTS" was giving email acess to its employees and the current practice of Sonata was unacceptable.
There was scenes of jubiliation reported from many parts of Bangalore after news broke out of success of the agitation and a visibly relieved public was seen distributing sweets and bursting crackers at J.J colony, Indira nagar and Kothamangala. Later, Vikas met a delegation of the Malabar Chamber of Commerce (MCC) and assured them that he would be paying all the outstanding bills soon. A MCC spokesman said that the delegation included representatives from Hoteliers Association of Kannur, Kerala Bus Owners Association and Cinema Owners Union of Kerala.
3. OSAMA NOT WEARING DIAPER ON HIS HEAD- THAJU (Karachi, DEC 2001):
In a chilling testimony in the Procter and Gamble v/s Osama Bin Laden case, Thajuddeen (ME 1998) said that the object that Osama Bin Laden wears on his head is not "Snuggy" diapers, but an actual piece of cloth. It may be recalled that Osama was sued by the Proctor and Gamble company (makers of the famous "Snuggy" diapers) for bringing disrepute to its product by wearing it on his head. The case was headed for a verdict decisively in P & G's favor till "Uncle" Thaju came up with this claim. Sources said that the statement and other evidence was faxed by Thaju to the Mumbai High Court from Karachi, the headquarters of the Malappuram Students Union (MSU).
The issue had its echoes in parliament with the opposition demanding a suo moto statement from the government. Members from the Congress party alleged that the BJP led government had a "hidden agenda" and was "targeting minorities" and walked out of the house.
4. KP JAYAKUMAR IS IN OUR CUSTODY- PAKISTAN (Islamabad, DEC 2001):
A Pakistani government source yesterday claimed that the unidentified Indian Airforce officer in its custody has been positively identified as KP Jayakumar ("Tank", ME1998). Reports had earlier indicated that a Flying officer of the IAF was found in an unconscious state on the Pakistani side of the Indo-Pak border near Ambala, Haryana.
Speaking on condition of anonymity, Major Khurshid Alam Khan of the Inter Services Public Relations (ISPR) department based at 21, Qaid-e-Azam Road, Lahore said that the Pakistani Army had recovered two bottles of the famous "Dharmashala STRONG" malt whiskey from the scene where they found KPJ. He said that a search of KPJ also yielded a map of India with the route from Ambala to Taliparamaba (Residence of Smitha Govindan, ECE 2001) highlighted in bold color with a caption "One Way Traffic". He admitted that KPJ was immediately identified because of the famous tattoo on his left arm, which bore the initials "S.G" and a love sign. Apparently, the Inter Services Intelligence (ISI) was working to crack the meaning of "S.G".
In a sharp reaction to the unexpected development, a defence ministry spokesman in New Delhi claimed that KPJ had accidentally crossed over to Pakistan when he was on his "evening walk". He rejected the claims of Pakistan that he is a Prisoner of War (P.O.W) and said that KPJ was a "Prisoner of Walk", and must be handed over to India without any delay.
Till the next time,
Chill,
Maheer
December 5th 2001
(---------------------For Kannurites or Desi-Dynamites-------------------------)
