November 10th 2001
Disclaimer:- Any resemblance to any person living,dead, or about to be born is NOT coincidental
QUOTE OF THE ISSUE:
" My alltime Favorite movie is the Denzel Washington/ Angelina Jolie starrer THE BONE COLLECTOR"
- Kottan Arvind, in an interview to Kannurites
1. AGRA SUMMIT DEADLOCKED, RAJEEVAN-CHRISTO TO MEET AGAIN? (New Delhi, SEPT 2001):
The much awaited summit meeting between the President of the World Malayali Congress, Rajeevan V (ECE '98) and Hindi Chauvinist Christo (ME '98) has been deadlocked, and has not acheived any break through. On his recent visit to North India recently, Rajeevan had promoted Malayalam extensively with stunning success and this was apparently resented by Christo, who is also the President of the Hindi Prachar Sabha. Christo called Rajeevan's foray into the Hindi heartland as "Cross Border" terrorism, while Rajeevan justified the "right to self-determination" of the people in North India to speak a language of their choice.
In a sign of increasing tension, Rajeevan's supporters shelled the Hindi speaking territories with copies of "Balarama" and "Rashtriya Deepika". Meanwhile, Pro-Christo activists have taken retaliatory action against "terrorists" who they alleged are sneaking in under covering fire from militants of the World Malayali Congress. Later, talking to reporters, Christo warned of more "punitive" action, and said that "hot pursuit" of "terrorists" would not be ruled out in the future.
2. "JYOTHILAL'S VISIT HAS BOOSTED OUR ECONOMY "- GERMAN CHANCELLOR (Munich, October 2001):
The German Chancellor said here today that Jyothilal ( ECE '98) has boosted the economy of Germany since his visit in May 2001. He said that the Maverick Billionaire with access to virtually unlimited amount of money and no inhibitions of spending it has contributed to an additional 2% GDP growth of the German economy. He said that textiles, leather goods (purse, jackets, bags etc.), liquor, fancy electronic gadgets, shoes/socks, video games, popcorn, theaters/movies, tourism, soldering iron and puzzle books are the segments of industry that have benefitted the most.
He thanked the CEO of WIPRO, Azeem Premji for sending Jyothilal on a project to Germany and urged him to resist the pressure of the Americans to invite Jyothilal over to the US to boost the faltering US economy.
3. "I HAVE NO LINKS WITH OSAMA"- PAARA VINOD (Florida, October 2001):
Paara Vinod (ME '98), the expelled member of the STILETTOS gang of ME '98 has said that he had no links whatsoever with the Taliban or Osama. He admitted that it was for the first time a person has exceeded him in strategically fooling the people around him and said that Osama had not seen his full colors yet.
In an interview to "Kannurites", he claimed that the US had dropped a bomb painted "Paara hates you" in Afghanistan at his request. When asked about rumours that the FBI is on the lookout for a "bald terrorist with a mole on the right cheek" from Saudi Arabia who is currently enrolled in a Florida University , he said that though he met the description, he was not the person that they are looking for. In fact, he claimed that he had not told neither his family nor his friends about his current whereabouts.
4. GCEKIAN GIFTED INDICA CAR (Bangalore, October 2001):
In a dramatic development, Santhosh "Jackie" Joseph (ECE '98) was gifted a brand new Indica car at a function in Bangalore. The car was gifted by the "WOMEN BUS PASSENGERS ASSOCIATION OF BANGALORE" (WBPAB). Speaking on the occassion, the President of the WBPAB said that that step was taken after weighing the Pros and Cons of traveling with Santhosh on the City's buses versus the cost of the car.
She said that the proposal first came for discussion when Santhosh employed his "Kannur-Mayyil" bus tactics on the buses in the city. She alleged that he had always received tacit support from Willy ("Poosan", ME '98) and claimed that things would improve from now on.
Santosh meanwhile released a statement blaming his company for the situation and said that ever since Infosys implemented the "Trespassers will be recruited" policy, his company's buses had been overflowing with people forcing him to use the city buses. However, he accepted the car and promptly appointed "Poosan" Willy as his driver. In a statement, "Poosan" Willy rejected the accusations of the WBPAB and blamed the "spirit" of Ansar (ME '98/99) for the problem.
5. RAJEEVAN MEETS BUSH (Washington DC, November 2001):
Rajeevan V (ECE ' 98), President of the World Malayali Congress (WMC) started the first leg of his US tour in Washington DC with a summit meeting with President Bush at the White House.
Speaking to reporters at a joint press conference after the 2 minute meeting Rajeevan said that the President had appreciated the support of the WMC to the global anti-terror campaign. He expressed disappointment with the President's decision not to air drop "special WMC pamphlets"in Afghanistan and said that he did not agree with the US viewpoint that the population there was not ready for Malayalam yet. He said that the President agreed not to mix the "right to self-determination" of the people in North India with "terrorism".
President Bush meanwhile urged restraint and further talks with Christo to solve the vexed language issue. In an apparent sign that Rajeevan had worked his magic , President Bush said in Malayalam " Ammo, ithula entha prashnam? Samsarichu theerkante karyam alle?".
Details as of now:
The famous epicenter of contemporary English prose- The "Pandi" Arun Fan Club has been dissolved. The President of the club, Deepa "Sometimes Nair" Narayanan announced the decision in Chennai a few minutes ago. Sources said that this is possibly linked to the decision by the duo to get married.
Reacting to the development, "Pandi" Arun said that the masses will be in the dark without a gregarious forum for a free and frank discussion about eclectic and vernacular nuances of English literature. He also said that he "laments their fate" and there was "little hope" now..
In a thinly veiled attack, Hindi Chauvinist Christo Thomas (ME '98) said that one of the positive outcomes of this event would be that the soul of Shakespeare can now rest in peace. "Pandi" Arun has refused to comment.
Till the next time,
Chill,
Maheer
Sept 2nd 2001
(-------------For Kannurites or Desi-Dynamites-------------------------------)
