May 18th 2000
(Any resemblance to any person living,dead, or about to be born is NOT coincidental)
SUNIL S. WINS TWO OUTSTANDING AWARDS (Chennai May 2000):
Sunil S. of ECE '94 batch has won the " Best Passenger" award of the Southern Railways. At a glittering function in chennai yesterday, the General Manager , Southern Railways said that Sunil's frequent trips to Kannur has boosted the traffic volume in the Chennai-Mangalore sector considerably,earning the railways very good profit. The award carries a citation, Rs 1500 and a one way ticket to "Delhi" on the Rajdhani Express.
Speaking on the occassion, Sunil stressed the importance of the Railways in promoting National Integration and bringing down the distances between people.He later enquired about the possibility of a super fast train between Bangalore( wipro head quarters) and chennai.This is Sunil's second stright award this year after winning the "Best Customer" award at the Pran's Ice cream parlour,near GCEK.
The function ended on a sour note however, when veteran "nationalist" Christo Thomas who had just arrived by the Bangalore Express, climbed onto the dias and attempted to give a speech in Hindi. This was however,thwarted by an alert section of the public, and the mob was seen chasing Christo away. Christo later called Reuters and blamed "forces inimical to National unity, operating from the US" for the incident.
"UMMER" SPOTTED-JAMSHEDPUR TENSE (JAMSHEDPUR, MAY 2000) : The Jamshedpur town was tense since yesterday evening when police received reports of CN "Ummer" Rameez ( EE'93) sneaking into the town. Police said that the dreaded chalian had vowed to get even with Deepak"double identity" Yohannan for upstaging him time and again in the MH.Sources said that this could be a part of a bigger conspiracy to spew his chalis on an "innocent" citizen.Family sources of Deepak said that he has been moved to a hideout and is doing well.
RAJEEVAN'S HOUR OF GLORY (Chennai, May 2000):
Rajeevan (ECE '94) finally had his moment of glory when Saravana Dresses, Chennai named him the " Saravana Man of the Year".The CEO of the fashion giant said that this was a tribute to Rajeevan's unfailing commitment to buy their shirts and Trousers, irrespective of its quality. In his acceptance speech, Rajeevan said that he had been a fan of the brand since his "Iskool" (local for school) days. ,BR> He also denied that he had anything to do with the "exclusive" stationary shop in Pazhavanthangal, chennai which had closed down. It may be recalled that the "exclusive" shop sold only smuggled pens,writing pads, papers, and other stuff with the CTS emblem till it was forced to close down following a "tip off" from sources in the US.
"PATTA" RENAMES HIMSELF (Kanhangad, MAY 2000):
In a move widely believed by Western experts to bring a socialist touch to programming, Patta Harish ( ME'94) has joined the mainstream of "object oriented" programmers. At a rally organized by the Democratic Lungi Youth Federation of India (DLYFI) patta announced that he had decided to enter the field to explore the possiblity of a revolution and promote the class struggle of programmers. when a comrade asked him how he renamed himself, he replied in his usual "chalistic" manner that he just rightclicked himself and clicked on the rename button. At this point even the most die hard DLYFI cadre were seen scurrying for cover.
"KOTTAN" ARVIND TO SUE DOCTOR- RIOTS IN RALEIGH (Raleigh, May 2000)
Kottan Arvind (EE '94) has reportedly decided to sue his doctor in Raleigh, USA. The trouble arose when Kottan Arvind went to the Doctor to get an Xray for his broken arm. The innocent Doctor said that he could see his bones without an Xray and diagnosed his problem immediately. An enraged kottan left the place immediately and complained of mental agony. The incident comes close on the heels of Kottan being investigated for the "mysterious" growth under his nose. Doctors had then rejected his claim that it was a moustache until he produced his unused ten year old razor. Further reports are expected.
In the meantime, riots broke out in the quiet city of Raleigh, when Kottan's dear roomies decided to take matters into their own hands. Police had to put all four (including Kottan) under detention in the local discotheque to bring things under control.
TOP DESPO TO VISIT INDIA (TUCSON,MAY 2000):
Coming close on the visit of President Clinton, a top US delegate from Arizona is slated to visit Chennai,India in May. Pentagon sources say that the US airforce has already made 46 sorties to "sanitize" the place and four spy satellites would keep always keep a track on the VIP's movements. The top functionary is "Skeduled" to visit many places inlcuding Kannur, kerala.
His itenarary in Kannur consists of a luncheon meeting with "close" friends Krishna Kumar (Don, Gcek) and Kolapi (Nithin). His close buddy Subash Mohan has also promised to fly down from Vadagara, for old times' sake.
Reliable and well informed sources close to the dignitary also said that the possibility of bilateral talks of "mutual interest" on a wide range of issues from Bosnia to "Maadapeediya" with funky dude Rajesh TS cannot be ruled out at this stage.
Our reporter adds from chennai : The visit of the VIP from AZ, USA has generated mass hysteria in campuses of all woman's colleges here. Police sources say that it may be difficult to contain the fans/chicks from Stella Maris, Ehtiraj and Queen Mary's colleges.More reports are expected.
"PANDI" ARUN COMPLETES RARE FEAT (Bangalore, May 2000):
"Pandi" Arun has announced that he has finished reading all the literary works of Shakespeare, Mark Twain, Socrates and William Blake. Speaking at a function to mark the occasion in Bangalore,he said that although he was impressed by the use of contemporary European essence in the English vocabulary of Shakespeare, he did find some "incongruent" anomalies here and there. Overall, he said the works were of average standard only and did not stimulate his cerebral fluids.
Earlier, founder member of the "Pandi" fan club, Deepa "sometimes Nair" Narayanan confessed that she was first impressed by him when he pronounced "Schizophrenia" in one go, without even taking a breath. Since then she had been following his milestones in English language analysis, she added.
Freedom Fighter and Hindi-chauvinist Christo Thomas was conspicuous by his absence at the function.
See you till the next time,
Chill it out !
Maheer
May 18th 2000 ( For Kannurites-----or------Desi Dynamites--------)
