Lone Gunmen

By Amy Jonas
Rating: FRT
Keywords: Humor/Parady
Summary: We ain't afraid of no conspiracy
Disclaimer: All the usual applies. The Lone Gunmen are owned by people who are not me. The Ghostbusters is owned by Ray Parker Jr. I don’t apologize for the brazen rip off because it was just too good to pass up.

A black screen fades into a picture of an a nicely manicured suburban neighborhood while music begins to play.

If there's something strange
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Lone Gunmen)

If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call
(Lone Gunmen)

I ain't afraid of no conspiracy
I ain't afraid of no conspiracy

If you're seeing things
Running through your head
Who can you call
(Lone Gunmen)

Cancer smoking man
Spying in your head
Oh, who you gonna call
(Lone Gunmen)

I ain't afraid of no conspiracy
I ain't afraid of no conspiracy
Who you gonna call
(Lone Gunmen)

If you're wire-tapped
Grab your cell phone
And call
(Lone Gunmen)

I ain't afraid of no conspiracy
I hear it likes the girls
I ain't afraid of no conspiracy
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Lone Gunmen)

If you've had a dose Of ergotamine-histamine gas
Maybe you'd better call
(Lone Gunmen)

Let me tell you something
Funky Poachin makes me feel good
I ain't afraid of no conspiracy
I ain't afraid of no conspiracy
Don't get caught alone, oh no
(Lone Gunmen)

When MIB comes through your door
Unless you just want an anal probe
I think you better call
(Lone Gunmen)
Ow Who you gonna call
(Lone Gunmen)

Who you gonna call
(lone Gunmen)
Ah, I think you better call
(Lone Gunmen)...

As the music faded; Byers, Langly, Frohike and Jimmy; dressed in their funky poaching gear stepped into the camera’s view, the neighborhood behind them. In near unison they say loudly. “We’re ready to believe you!”

When the commercial ended Yves flipped the TV off and turned to see the guys watching her expectantly.

Jimmy smiled brightly. “So, what do you think?”

“We thought it would reach a larger percentage of readers and get our name out there.” Byers stated in that calm, rational way of his.

Yves shook her head, still not quite believing what she had just seen. “You’ve lost it,” she decided. “The four of you have finally lost it.”