Countering the Myths of Sexual Child abuse

Possibly the most disturbing arguments used by the apologists is that, if it is proven that molestation did take place, then the child either consented to it, or is somehow reponsible for it.

It is depressing that people who I would like to believe are otherwise decent, compassionate and and least relatively intelligent have been duped into parroting the exact same arguments used by confirmed pedophiles to justify their behaviour, such as:

1) The child enjoyed it.
2) The child wanted it.
3) He was doing the child a favour.
4) The child led him on.
5) The child was not harmed
6) The child owed something for the gifts/attention he received.
7) It was an act/expression of love.

It's hard enough to believe that pedophiles themselves believe this nonsense, let alone the hundreds of presumable "rational" people who regularly (and increasingly) post this drivel in various forums.

As much as I feel that these arguments are so self-evidently meritless that answer them is a waste of time, I have gathered some information to counter them, if only to head off the inevitable cries of "Where's the proof? Show me a link!" that erupt whenever an apologist is faced with a viewpoint that they don't wish to hear:

From Police Central Training website:

[Myth]:The child victim of sexual abuse initiates the crime (directly or indirectly) by fantasizing, seducing, exaggerating, or enjoying such activity.

Offenders tend to attribute sexual meaning to normal expressions of affection and attention and excuse their own behavior by blaming the child. Even if the child does "enjoy" the activity in some way (for example, if the abuse is misunderstood as an expression of love), the child is being victimized because the offender is exploiting the child's immature physical and emotional development.

From the Office of the Attorney General, State of California

I have heard that sometimes children willingly participate in sexually abusive activities, and that they are partially to blame.

Because of their age and the age difference between children and their perpetrators, children are unable to legally consent to sexual activity. They are never to blame for their own abuse–although they are often made to feel like willing participants because of the careful, manipulative behavior of their abusers. This further contributes to their shame and guilt. If you have the occasion to be involved with a child who has been sexually abused–either your own child or another–one of the most healing responses is to reassure the child that they bear absolutely no responsibility for what an adult has done to them or made them do, even if they have been tricked into believing that the adult cares for them and what they were doing was "okay."

From: Child Sexual Abuse Information Sheet

"Victims/survivors of child sexual assault do not cause the abuse and are never to blame. The offender, not the victim, is responsible."

From: Royal Holloway Student Counselling Service (University of London)

No matter what the circumstances of the sexual abuse of a child, it is never the fault or responsibility of that child. Even if you are aware that there was some degree of collusion or you feel in hindsight that you wish you had been able to act differently, this does not lessen the absolute truth that is the duty of adults to care for children and protect them from exploitation.

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