Lesbian This is how you cut your hair short so everyone can tell you�re a lesbian; This is how you look at a girl on the street when you don�t want anyone to know you�re a lesbian; Buy a button for your backpack; Look at the floor when you buy Curve magazine in the bookstore; Put your backpack in the floor front side down when you don�t want anyone to see; Say dyke and queer but not lezzie or faggot; Respect your elders, who had a much harder time of it than you did; Tell your mother, because she�ll love you anyway; but I want to be loved for me, not in spite of me; Don�t ever bring a girl out, she�ll only break your heart; Don�t date your best friend, Don�t date you�re best friend�s roommate; Don�t date your best friend�s exes; Don�t date someone you have to work with, in case you break up; but those are the only girls I know; This is how you shake hands at a press conference; This is how you hug at a rally; This is how you march; This is how you chant; This is how you get your picture in the paper; This is how not to get your picture in the paper; This is how you hold hands on a busy street; This is how you love a woman; This is how a woman loves you; This is how you stare someone down on the subway; This is how you turn down a nice boy who hits on you; This is how you flick off a guy and say �My girlfriend wouldn�t like that;� Be assertive; Take up space; Fold your hands across your chest; Choose roles; Choose a side; Choose dresses or pants; Choose top or bottom, Choose not to label at all; Use Old Spice; Wear Doc Martens or birks; but what if I like sneakers; Look pretty for lobbying; Look genderqueer for parties; Look tough on the street; Be proud of who you are; Put a sticker on your notebook but not on your car because you might get your windshield bashed in; Always have someone walk you to your car after night meetings; Know self defense; Carry Mace; The more there are of you on one street the more likely it is that you�ll get in trouble; Talk loudly about whatever you want, in stores and restaurants and airports, because people shouldn�t be offended; Don�t argue with the radical Christians because you can�t change their minds; but I just want to understand why they hate us so much; Stand up for people who can�t stand up for themselves; Always speak your mind; but what if I�m afraid; Do you mean to say that after all this you are really still afraid? |
| This is based on a famous piece by Jamaica Kincaid. It's commonly ripped off in creative writing classes; here's my contribution to that genre. Kincaid's piece is written in the voice of a mother telling her daughter how to be a woman. Here I use three commanding voices; my mother, the dominant culture, and the subculture. |