Feena sighed as she unwillingly marched back to her room. Kaye, her green firelizard, sat on her shoulder and offered her sympathetic thoughts. Feena pet the firelizard and fumed quietly to herself. She got into her room and flung the door shut, slamming it as loud as she could. She heard a muffled grunt from the room next to her's and snorted. What did she care if some other weyrbrat didn't get any sleep? She flopped herself down on her bed and sighed. Kaye sat down beside her.
Feena sat in silence, thinking. The more she thought, the angrier she got. Kaye nervously rocked back and forth. The firelizard had seen her friend in this mood before and knew an explosion was imminent. She watched the tension rise on Feena's face and curled herself into a little ball. Eventually Feena could take it no longer. She jumped to her feet and threw her arms up in despair. She turned to Kaye.
"Who does she think she is anyways?" Feena questioned her small companion. "Why does she get to make all the rules? It's not fair. It's beyond not fair. It's completly, totally and extremely unfair!"
Kaye cocked her head and listened to Feena rant. Somehow this always helped her owner calm down.
"She's prejudiced. She prejudiced against me. Why?" Feena stomped her foot. "I can't believe she could do something this mean!!!"
"Alright!!!" A shout from the person next-door interupted. "We get the picture. She's a witch. Now for shards' sake it's late. We're trying to sleep."
Feena flinched at the reprimand and mumbled some apology to her shoes. She sighed and flung herself onto her bed, barely missing Kaye.
"She let Tamika stay out. She didn't make her help. She didn't tell M'thew to go to bed." She thought about that for a while. "In fact, I'm the only one she tells to go to bed. She would never dream to tell a rider that it's bedtime. She never makes a rider help her." Feena pouted. "She still thinks I'm a kid, Kaye. I'm older than some rider's here, I'm 17 turns, and she still thinks I'm a kid."
Kaye rubbed her head against Feena's shoulder. Feena started scratching the firelizards stomach. The tiny green rolled over, so Feena could reach her better. Kaye started to make a purring noise and Feena gave a small laugh. "I swear you're part feline." The green purred louder, glad to see her friend in a better mood.
Feena yawned and changed into a shift. "Guess I should go to bed." Kaye showed her approval of the plan by curling up on Feena's pillow and snoring.
* * *
Feena woke up at the crack of dawn like she always did and made her way down to the kitchen's to help Media with breakfast. As she entered the giant dining hall, she found M'thew sitting at a bench. She sat down beside him, blushing slightly. He smiled back at her.
"Where's Serenth?" Feena asked to start the conversation. She fingered the shell necklace he'd given her.
M'thew smiled. "Still asleep. Kaye?"
Feena smiled. "In dream world. Hopefully she'll remain there until breakfast's done."
His smile shrunk into a sympathetic half-smile. "Heard the shouting last night. I guess your mom still says your to young to be searched?"
Feena snorted, getting angry all over agian. "I don't see what her problem is. I'm 17 turns! You were searched at 15 turns! It just isn't fair!"
M'thew smiles. "Ever wonder why she doesn't let you?"
"Because she hates me."
M'thew patted her back and got up. "Think about it Feena. Try to see things from her point of view."
Feena sighed and began helping with breakfast.
* * *
Feena walked around the Weyrbowl, thinking. Usually M'thew sided with her in arguements against her mother. Why did he suddenly switch sides?
Kaye sat on her shoulder and helpfully twittered at other firelizard and dragons. Feena had tried to shut her up, but she seemed intent on broadcasting Feena's problem to the entire weyr.
She saw her mother walking towards her and immeadiatly turned around.
"Feena!" Her mother called. Feena planned on ingoring her, but Kaye decided to fly back and land on her mother's shoulder. Not wanting to leave her friend behind, Feena stopped and waited for her mother to approach.
"Feena, didn't you hear me calling?"
"No." Feena lied, not really wanting to talk to her mother.
Her mother sighed. "You're still mad at me aren't you?"
Feena didn't reply.
Her mother sat down and motioned for Feena to sit down besider her. Feena thought about leaving, but instead sat down. Her mother put her arm around her. "Honey, I know you really want to be a dragonrider and that's a wonderful dream, but you're still a young woman. You don't have to decide your future this very moment. You could be whatever you want. You could stay here, become Headwoman someday. You have a very commanding air about you, you'd be great at Headwoman. I heard Headwoman Media say yesterday that she didn't know what she'd do without you. It's an option Feena."
Feena sighed. "Mom, I'm 17 turns. I know what I want to be. Why can't you just let me try?"
Her mother sighed again. "17 turns isn't grown-up Feena. I'm still your mother..."
Feena jumped to her feet and turned on her mother. "So that gives you the right to control my life?"
Her mother got angry. "Feena sit down. You're making a scene..."
"So?" Feena yelled. "You still think I'm a little kid. I can make my own choices now. I don't need you. I'm not a baby..." Feena trailed off. Her mother's eyes were full of tears. Feena could barely hear what her mother said.
"You'll always be my baby, Feena."
Feena sat down beside her mom and leaned against her, letting her mom stroke her hair. "Mom...."
Her mother interupted. "I know you're not a child in the literal sense of the word. You have too much responsibility, too much talent, too much knowledge to be a child. But every time I look at you Feena, I see that little baby I used to hold in your arms. You're right you know. I am being mean. I'm being mean and selfish. I don't want you to leave to be a dragonrider. I want you all to myself." Her mother's voice was soft and sad.
Feena felt horrible. "Oh, mom."
* * *
Feena stared out at all the youths in the weyrbowl. They were waiting for the Searchdragons. They were waiting to see if they became candidates. She sighed and put her head down on the table. Kaye screeched at anyone who came near her, realizing that her master preferred to be alone in her misery.
She heard footsteps behind her and knew someone was there. Kaye screeched and screeched but the person didn't leave like Feena hoped. She sighed and reached out a hand to quiet Kaye. "If you insist on staying you may as well sit down." Feena murmured.
"That's not very polite Feena." Her mother sat down beside her. Feena gave her mother one glance and then lay her head back on the table.
Her mother sighed. "You know, I half expected you to be out there anyways."
Feena grunted.
Her mother lowered her head. "I've been doing some thinking."
Feena looked up. This was unexpected.
"You know I love you and I want what's best for you...." Her mother trailed off.
A flapping of wings in the weyrbowl made Feena look up. The Searchdragon's had arrived. "What?" Feena wasn't paying much attention to her mother. She was too busy watching the Searching.
"I think you should go change. No Searchrider will even look at you dressed in that."
Feena stared open-mouthed at her mother. "Wha...."
Her mother gave her a half-smile. "I'm not showing you that I love you by keeping you trapped here. If you really want this, I think you should try."
Feena grabbed her mother in a hug. "Thank you! Thank you!" She took off towards her room at a run. She flung on a nice green dress that her mother must have got for this occasion. She made a mental note to thank her mother again. She ran past her mother into the weyrbowl.
A blue dragon turned it's head toward her and gave her an odd look. Feena froze under it's gaze. The blue nudged a another blue standing near by. The other dragon began to examine her. Feena closed her eyes and held her breath. When she felt a tap on her shoulder, she jumped about four feet straight up.
A rider was standing in front of her smiling. "Hello."
"Hi," she murmured, more nervous than she'd ever been in her life.
"My name is W'ryn. I ride the blue, Sylth. I'm a searchrider for Dawn Sisters Weyr. Both Sylth and Fadeth think that you would make a good candidate. What do you say?"
Feena couldn't speak. She knew she had to make some noise or he'd leave. But what could she say?
"She'd be delighted." Her mother said, coming up to stand by her. Feena only had the strength to nod.
"Good. You can ride with me and Sylth." He returned to his dragon.
"Oh no!" Feena gasped. "I'm not packed. He'll leave without me!"
Feena's mother held out a pack. Feena went to grab it, but her mother held it back. "You can leave on one condition Feena."
Feena's heart sunk, she thought her mother had changed her mind.
"Write to me everyday. I'm sure Kaye will find her way to me." Kaye chirpped an agreement and Feena hugged her mom.
"I promise. Everyday mom. Thanks."
Her mom smiled. "For what?"
Feena smiled. "For everything."
Feena is a candidate at Dawn Sisters Weyr.
Feena impressed Kaye at Blue Star Weyr.
