| sheba84 (6:11:08 PM): rolling skaing is fun MagicRoar (6:11:13 PM): yeah sheba84 (6:11:14 PM): cool MagicRoar (6:11:19 PM): you're just now realizing this? sheba84 (6:11:33 PM): well, what I was going to say is that being on the brink of a broken neck/spine is "exhilarating" MagicRoar (6:11:43 PM): oh sheba84 (6:11:47 PM): : - ) MagicRoar (6:11:53 PM): i don't think you ever were.... sheba84 (6:12:00 PM): What?!!! sheba84 (6:12:05 PM): I'm endangered every moment sheba84 (6:12:11 PM): I'm an extinct species MagicRoar (6:12:14 PM): sure... sheba84 (6:12:17 PM): I am the last of the "tina wang"s sheba84 (6:12:19 PM): at least my brand The Queen of Sheba. Far from being ashamed of a title that could so easily be considered a reference to �negative� qualities like arrogance, Tina embraced it, reveling in the less immediate implications of authority and intelligence in a way that only someone with such amazing self-assurance could pull off. That�s what always awed me- the way she could walk into gov twenty minutes late (a class she left early to go to Chinese at the university), without a pass, and offer Shutt a Frito on her way by. Somehow she always appeared to be doing the most natural thing in the world, while Shutt would�ve looked like a fool if he�d challenged her. Or maybe it was how she could go into a Burger King at seven or eight am, order a Big Mac and ice cream, and not even blush when the person at the counter pointed out her error. Quite frankly, I don�t think she EVER blushed. But anyhow- that�s why I was her lackey. Now, why I was her friend, THAT�S another story. Motivation: it�s a characteristic that�s always commended, but far too easily assigned (being one of the �motivated� students and hanging out with a bunch of them, I know how deluded people can be). Tina was an exception- �motivated� is an accurate depiction. She kinda preferred the word �ambitious� though, or did back in junior high when Harvard was her only real goal. The following are excerpts from emails to Casey. July 3, 1998 Back to my inspiration for ballet: I used to take ballet lessons, believe it or not, and I liked to dance. (and it's something else to put on my college record: who's ever heard of a nerd that dances? It's unique! Just kidding- about the nerd part -I'm intellectual, and I do not have tape on my glasses) For your reference: Tina repeatedly considered taking dance lessons. She may even have signed up once, sometime around the summer after sophmore year (but I may be misremembering). She either never went or didn�t stick with it more than a few weeks. Her attitude toward athletics is easily summarized: sheba84 (7:23:16 PM): I'm small and fast! sheba84 (7:23:20 PM): who needs muscle? I don't consider shaking my ass in a group of wild teenagers "dancing." By the way- these emails were written while Tina was at a summer camp at the university. There were dances in the dorms one night a week. Tina had to be dragged (literally) down to them. The one time I showed up to help we got her all the way down the stairs but as soon as we got her in the room and let go she bolted. Musta been the �wild teenagers�� one of which she did eventually become: sheba84 (5:55:28 PM): Wunn drove Jing and I to lunch yesterday, sheba84 (5:55:33 PM): well, he forgot his wallet sheba84 (5:55:49 PM): so he had to drive back to school and go and get it sheba84 (5:56:00 PM): are you paying attn? MagicRoar (5:56:20 PM): yeah sheba84 (5:56:53 PM): anyway, he left his keys in the car MagicRoar (5:57:00 PM): wunn? sheba84 (5:57:03 PM): yeah sheba84 (5:57:10 PM): keys in the ignition sheba84 (5:57:15 PM): Jing and I were still in the car sheba84 (5:57:22 PM): so that's not the funny part, sheba84 (5:57:40 PM): it's when I decide to take the initiative and climb in the driver's seat sheba84 (5:57:51 PM): change the gear sheba84 (5:58:09 PM): and drive forward just when Wunn runs out of the school with his wallet MagicRoar (5:58:12 PM): lol sheba84 (5:58:30 PM): I was planning on scaring him totally and driving out of West and around MagicRoar (5:58:37 PM): but...? sheba84 (5:58:39 PM): but I think he would have killed me MagicRoar (5:58:43 PM): probably sheba84 (5:58:59 PM): but I did drive forward quite alot before I stopped sheba84 (5:59:09 PM): it was an amusing experience MagicRoar (5:59:17 PM): and his response? sheba84 (5:59:44 PM): Tina! July 6, 1998 I'm at camp right how, emailing you from the "computer thing downstairs." You know, the Governor thing for Business and Economics. Am I very stuck-up? Well, (you won't be suprised, I think) on the first day, we did a get-to-know eachother activity, among many others of course. We were suppose to draw a question from a selection and answer it. Mine was "where do you see yourself 10 years from now." After I mentally computer my age, decided how many years for college, and all that . . . well, to cut a long story short, I have to blab out that I saw myself at "Harvard, or any Ivy League Univerity, or Stanford." (I know, I know, Harvard is an Ivy League, I didn't have to put in the "or.") That was a mistake. I mean, you don't like people who make comments like that. You should be happy for me, I finally realize it. <<You would think that the kids here were smarter, but unfortunately, eye shadow is still a very much discussed topic. The girls are reasonable "smart" but they go around walking in their swim- suits, and change clothes every four hours. You can feel my disappointment. No one has ever HEARD of Charlotte Bronte, much less Walt Whitman.>> The typos are all hers. Anyhow, you can see why I�ve been known to accuse her of being a snob. (And you can completely ignore her rationale for not being a �nerd� but instead an �intellectual�. Let�s face it- in retrospect, it�s quite apparent how nerdy she was. But that was eighth grade�) More recently: sheba84 (10:05:43 PM): I actually finished the book this time sheba84 (10:05:44 PM): barely That�s in reference to school reading. What did she read in her spare time? Whitman? Bronte? Heck no�. sheba84 (5:50:11 PM): I thought it was cool sheba84 (5:50:20 PM): one of the characters was a tortured Catholic priest sheba84 (5:50:40 PM): it was very erotic July 8, 1998 Do you really believe I have any real chances of going to Harvard? Summer. Before we were upperclassmen. Heck- it was even before high school. As absurd as it seems, college was a topic of conversation back then. Quite a prominent one. At lunch, too. We went to someone's house for 4th of July, and these people- the Greenleafs or whatever, have a son who went to Harvard. He even got a scholarship. But then, he won 6th place in some Nation Science Test, worked in labs for projects that served the community or something, was valedictorian, got like 1500 on the SATs. The last 2 are reasonable, but the first one, I am kinda scared of. <sighs> Even Tina�d probably find this boring if she went back and read it. What dull little children we were�. *wink* (even though I can't.) Why let reality stop you? Tina didn�t. sheba84 (6:19:52 PM): why does there have to be a reason? sheba84 (6:19:59 PM): Why are so restricted in your thinking? sheba84 (6:20:04 PM): Exceed present limitiations! sheba84 (6:20:08 PM): Experience new things! sheba84 (6:20:16 PM): Experiment, revolutionize! sheba84 (6:20:19 PM): whatever sheba84 (6:20:24 PM): I have no idea what I'm talking about. Me? CEO. No doubt. She was ambitious, remember. And she had a plan to make it happen. Certainly commendable. In fact, my first memory of Tina was hearing her voice over the phone, politely telling me that she could not attend my end of the school year party because she was too busy preparing for her future- studying physics, of all things. Fortunately, though, that anal retentive streak went away after awhile�. Czarina FH (10:03 PM): We can go to the Law library tomorrow morning sheba84 (10:03 PM): sure Czarina FH (10:03 PM): I show you the nuclear section sheba84 (10:03 PM): I'll call you when I wake up sheba84 (10:03 PM): probably around 11:00 am sheba84 (10:03 PM): I'm also planning on getting my license tomorrow Czarina FH (10:03 PM): Wait, I thought you wanted to go in the morning sheba84 (10:03 PM): that's the morning! sheba84 (10:04 PM): geez, Frances I know his height, just not his shoe size yet. Note the YET. She was referring to a specific guy. I�ve forgotten his name. But in this, at least, Tina was just like the girls she was so disappointed in. (Remember- the ones with the eye shadow fetish.) Her strategy for dealing with guys she had crushes on was basically that- find out every detail about their lives but refuse to talk to them. Ever. And while we�re on the topic of guys�.. MagicRoar (5:31:17 PM): you'd like him MagicRoar (5:31:28 PM): quite vicious, at times sheba84 (5:33:58 PM): woo-lala sheba84 (5:34:01 PM): my kind of boy Tina liked guys who were like her and, oddly enough, liked to be thought of as evil. Sometimes. sheba84 (5:35:38 PM): I'm not a brat. sheba84 (5:35:40 PM): I'm a bitch. Another time: MagicRoar (8:28:06 PM): you're truly horrible sheba84 (8:28:19 PM): yep sheba84 (8:28:21 PM): : - ) MagicRoar (8:28:29 PM): and it doesn't bother you? MagicRoar (8:28:30 PM): at all? sheba84 (8:28:36 PM): at odd moments 99% of my friends are atheists or worse. That�s what she said then. And talking to Frances a few years later�.. sheba84 (8:07 PM): well, you're closer than me to being a Christian sheba84 (8:07 PM): you were cleansed sheba84 (8:07 PM): whatever that means Her explanation for sending out a religious chain letter: The only reason why I sent this chainletter to be people was, well, because 1) I was bored and 2) just in case there was a God . . . at least I have SOMETHING to say in my defense if he ever decides that I should burn in eternal hell fire. hehehe I see your point. But personally, I would rather go to heaven with good-two-shoes rather than be tortured in hell. If I don't get tortured or anything of the like, then, only then would I take hell any time. Otherwise, well . . . you know otherwise. Hey, I'm a coward. Pain is pain! While the reasoning should be incredibly familiar, since that was the way she always thought, her argumentative abilities had improved sufficiently that she no longer would have had to rely on such flimsy excuses. As far as heaven goes, she has nothing to worry about. |