this will someday be much more extensive
probably not until i've got another german paper to avoid doing
but anyway
this page is for claudia
she's my pet squirrel
tends to follow me around doing my homework and picking up my trash
nice as that is, though
it's really quite unimportant
well, not really
i'm afraid it's a fundamental aspect of her personality
the needing to be a lackey
maybe not needing
she's quite capable of acting on her own, as i discovered
(she DID, afterall, make the freaky german guy kiss me)
she probably just feels more secure when someone else is leading
speaking of which
DRINK MORE WATER NOW, CLAUDIA
that said
why claudia's amazing:

1. she's fucking brilliant
she's got the numbers just like everyone else
(but a little more perfect)
but what's really incredible is that even without them she's wonderfully intelligent
partly, i'm sure, it's the fault of her family
they make all these wierd references to scientific principles in regular, everyday conversation
heck, they talk to each other, that's odd enough
(just kidding- not for calling them odd, since they really are- but for making it sound derogatory. from what i've seen they're cool)
i'd give more examples, but i don't feel like it
i'll talk abt them later

2. she's insane
not insane in a calm, rational way
but really nuts
she rambles on about the oddest things
and jumps up and down when she gets mad
that, itself isn't necessarily a good thing
i mean, there are a lot of really creepy ppl out there who are nuts
but what's really amazing is the way a conversation about some work of german literature can go w/ her
it might start w/ "the author's on crack!!!"
and somehow progress into a legitimate analysis of the morality of human action/lack of action
(see "fucking brilliant" above)
or we can be playing a game online
and she'll burst into rabid protestations (is that a word?) of why a katydid is NOT a grasshopper
she's never boring

3. she hits me
not really
she threatens to
and it's not the violence that i appreciate
it's the fact that someone is willing to call me on it when i'm being stupid
most ppl assume i'm being cute
or just don't care
but claudia doesn't
and i appreciate it
mostly
she's got some really bizarre notions, too
like this whole "don't swear" thing
silly girl
swear words are very helpful
they can affect meaning
they're irreplacable signifiers of emotion
but anyhow
this is abt claudia
not words

4. she listens to me
most ppl don't
and it's not just when i feel perky and (apparently) am amusing
she puts up w/ me when i'm feeling like shit, too
i get really annoying, obstinate, and sometimes rather mean
and she still deals w/ me

5. she's not a debater
granted, she's a math geek
which is worse
but any intellegent being who's not a debater deserves to be commended for it

anyway- i'll finish sorting through my convos someday to complete this next section
but there are an awful lot of them
i think i only got through the emails

in her own words
this is claudia:

07-18-00

Am I doomed?

Silly question. I'm always doomed in one way or another, I just keep getting out of it somehow...


07-30-00

If you are reading a book in which the expression "so-and-so's heart sank" is used, and that person is lying down, do you visualize their heart sinking to the lowest point (their back or whatever) or traveling horizontally down their body?

-Claudia the Confused, the Cardboard Apathetic, Lady of Weirdness (as opposed to darkness, which isn't my kind of humor)


Subj: tell tina her soul is a cucumber (but tell her nicely)
Date: 7/31/00 11:50:08 AM Central Daylight Time

My brother Mike's drawings are getting weirder by the day. So is he.
So am I.

Did you know that "commie" is in the dictionary of this computer, and "libelous" isn't?


09-02-00

Excuse my not very humble opinion, but that doesn't sound like the greatest of ideas to me.

It's also frighteningly appealing.


09-07-00

I considered describing some of my weird dreams, but maybe I shouldn't give my teachers too much reason to think I'm a pyscho-maniac. At least not this early in the year...

Either I need to go to bed or I'm even more dehydrated than usual. I'm feeling seriously light-headed.
Doing a bunch of math homework did not improve this at all.

09-26-00

BONFIRES!!!!!


09-28-00

You have to help me cut (can you believe I'm writing this?) the spirit assembly. I'll pay you. I am NOT GOING.


09-30-00

Wie sagt man, "blah" auf deutsch?


10-04-00

I finished reading the transcript of the debate just now, and I think Gore is a JERK.
He's an even bigger self-centered, rude, uncaring idiot than I thought he was.
And he's ugly, too.


10-05-00

It's amusing how extremely hostile you're getting over this. It's actually more interesting than the argument itself.
The dark side? Come on. Neither of us can vote, I'd rather be dead in a ditch than a Republican, and both of the candidates stink. Lighten up.


10-06-00

Also, the reason Shobha and I were talking to her was that she got a geometric decorative hanging thingie, what's the word, and we're going to get together on Sunday to put it together...want to help?


10-01-00

I don't have the vocabulary to complain effectively in German.


10-13-00

By the way, just to clear things up, yes, I do realize you don't exist for my amusement. But life would be more interesting if you did...plus I would be twice as depraved by now.


10-25-00

Mein Hund ist verruecht. Sie frisst Papier. Sie hat heute viel Papier gefrisst, und es ist auf dem Fussboden in meinem Zimmer. Sehr unordentlich.


10-29-00

I am VERY MAD. I'm also panicking, but that's aside from the point...I was hoping to be all caught up this weekend. Oh well.

On the other hand, I found a very funny picture of Gore, which goes very well with a totally unrelated sentence fragment I cut out of the Gazette.
It's hilarious.

11-07-00

Help! I'm losing it!


11-13-00

Your instructions have been duly carried out.

thenonsquirrel (9:21:47 PM): Do you know how amusing you are when you get excited
MagicRoar (9:22:21 PM): me? try observing yourself
thenonsquirrel (9:22:55 PM): It's difficult...I'm usually too busy watching other people
MagicRoar (9:23:40 PM): well, that's the reason i believe you're a squirrel in disguise
thenonsquirrel (9:24:25 PM): Squirrels don't care about anyone themselves, and they certainly wouldn't enjoy watching other people for amusement.

thenonsquirrel (9:29:33 PM): Stop!!!! Excessive silliness is my job1

11-14-00

thenonsquirrel (9:52:36 PM): Why would you give in to the whims of someone that annoying?
MagicRoar (9:52:51 PM): to get them out of your hair
thenonsquirrel (9:53:16 PM): You could do that by dumping them out the window
MagicRoar (9:53:34 PM): that would be entertaining
MagicRoar (9:53:45 PM): but it's not very much of a fall
thenonsquirrel (9:53:52 PM): Speaking of which, have you ever noticed how safely you could get out of Ms. Walker's room through her window over the radiator?

thenonsquirrel (9:59:47 PM): And when your chasing someone, and you get to pounce...that's fun

11-15-00

MagicRoar (3:39:39 PM): then you're mentally weak
thenonsquirrel (3:39:57 PM): I prefer unstable, thanks
MagicRoar (3:40:19 PM): same effect
thenonsquirrel (3:40:32 PM): no, not at all
thenonsquirrel (3:41:00 PM): A structure which is unstable could be fortified; if fundamentally weak, it's fairly hopeless

11-16-00

thenonsquirrel (8:57:58 PM): How do you write 5's?
MagicRoar (8:58:04 PM): 5
thenonsquirrel (8:58:17 PM): With a pencil, moron
thenonsquirrel (9:00:11 PM): Do you write 5's w/ one or two strokes?
MagicRoar (9:00:19 PM): 2
thenonsquirrel (9:00:31 PM): odd
MagicRoar (9:01:01 PM): why? how do you write them?
thenonsquirrel (9:01:23 PM): w/ one, starting from the bottom; it makes more sense
MagicRoar (9:01:47 PM): then they get too rounded and look like s's
thenonsquirrel (9:02:24 PM): Yeah, but other people's fall apart and look like meaningless scribbles all I have to do is avoid the variable s

11-20-00

MagicRoar (8:50:32 PM): you should've prevented it from freezing
thenonsquirrel (8:50:38 PM): What could I do to prevent it?
MagicRoar (8:50:49 PM): talk to it politely
MagicRoar (8:50:53 PM): they like that
thenonsquirrel (8:51:02 PM): It stopped speaking to me long ago
thenonsquirrel (8:51:13 PM): It merely tolerates my presence
MagicRoar (8:51:15 PM): so? you can still talk to it
thenonsquirrel (8:51:20 PM): sometimes
MagicRoar (8:51:24 PM): maybe you'd eventually become friends
thenonsquirrel (8:51:29 PM): except when it freeze
thenonsquirrel (8:51:32 PM): s
thenonsquirrel (8:51:35 PM): no
MagicRoar (8:51:40 PM): how often does it do that?
thenonsquirrel (8:51:51 PM): About once a week
MagicRoar (8:52:05 PM): then you don't have a good relationship with your computer
MagicRoar (8:52:10 PM): that's a very bad thing

11-21-00

thenonsquirrel (9:03:34 PM): I think the first thing I'll do is stay up all night, and not go home for hours
thenonsquirrel (9:03:46 PM): It's my parents fault for suppressing me

thenonsquirrel (9:06:56 PM): The basic idea is the not having to go anywhere or do anything if you don't want to
thenonsquirrel (9:07:17 PM): gosh, I sound like a teenager
MagicRoar (9:07:23 PM): scary, isn't it?
thenonsquirrel (9:07:32 PM): yes
thenonsquirrel (9:07:48 PM): at least I'm still minus the obscenities

11-25-00

thenonsquirrel (10:57:40 PM): But she needed help
It's like jumping in to save a drowning person
MagicRoar (10:57:48 PM): yeah
MagicRoar (10:57:51 PM): stupid
thenonsquirrel (10:58:08 PM): but so noble...
thenonsquirrel (10:58:14 PM): (snort)
MagicRoar (10:58:32 PM): at least you recognize your own irrationality

11-29-00

thenonsquirrel (9:35:29 PM): how rude
thenonsquirrel (9:35:39 PM): I am shocked at your behavior
MagicRoar (9:36:12 PM): mine?
MagicRoar (9:36:19 PM): i thought i had ceased to shock you
thenonsquirrel (9:37:55 PM): My resilient personality keeps recovering
Then I'm re-shocked


note: i stoll this background pic from a website
http://members.tripod.com/Thryomanes/uptree.jpg
07-18-00

Am I doomed?

Silly question.  I'm always doomed in one way or another, I just keep

getting out of it somehow...


07-30-00

If you are reading a book in which the expression
"so-and-so's heart sank" is used, and that person is lying down, do you
visualize their heart sinking to the lowest point (their back or whatever)
or traveling horizontally down their body?

-Claudia the Confused, the Cardboard Apathetic, Lady of Weirdness (as
opposed to darkness, which isn't my kind of humor)


Subj:  tell tina her soul is a cucumber (but tell her nicely)
Date: 7/31/00 11:50:08 AM Central Daylight Time

My brother Mike's drawings are getting weirder by the day.  So is he.
So am I.

Did you know that "commie" is in the dictionary of this computer, and
"libelous" isn't?


09-02-00

Excuse my not very humble opinion, but that doesn't sound like the greatest
of ideas to me.

It's also frighteningly appealing.


09-07-00

I considered describing some of my
weird dreams, but maybe I shouldn't give my teachers too much reason to
think I'm a pyscho-maniac.  At least not this early in the year...

Either I need to go to bed or I'm even more dehydrated than usual.  I'm
feeling seriously light-headed.
Doing a bunch of math homework did not improve this at all.

09-26-00

BONFIRES!!!!!


09-28-00

You have to help me cut (can you believe I'm writing this?) the spirit
assembly.  I'll pay you.  I am NOT GOING.


09-30-00

Wie sagt man, "blah" auf deutsch?


10-04-00

I finished reading the transcript of the debate just now, and I think Gore
is a JERK.

He's an even bigger self-centered, rude, uncaring idiot than I thought he
was.

And he's ugly, too.


10-05-00

It's amusing how extremely hostile you're getting over this.  It's actually
more interesting than the argument itself.
The dark side?  Come on.  Neither of us can vote, I'd rather be dead in a
ditch than a Republican, and both of the candidates stink.  Lighten up.


10-06-00

Also, the reason Shobha and I were talking to her was that she got a
geometric decorative hanging thingie, what's the word, and we're going to
get together on Sunday to put it together...want to help?


10-01-00

I don't have the vocabulary to complain effectively in German.


10-13-00

By the way, just to clear things up, yes, I do realize you don't exist for
my amusement.  But life would be more interesting if you did...plus I would
be twice as depraved by now.


10-25-00

Mein Hund ist verruecht.  Sie frisst Papier.  Sie hat heute viel Papier
gefrisst, und es ist auf dem Fussboden in meinem Zimmer.  Sehr unordentlich.


10-29-00

I am VERY MAD.  I'm also panicking, but that's aside
from the point...I was hoping to be all caught up this weekend.  Oh well.

On the other hand, I found a very funny picture of Gore, which goes very
well with a totally unrelated sentence fragment I cut out of the Gazette. 
It's hilarious.

11-07-00

Help!  I'm losing it!


11-13-00

Your instructions have been duly carried out.

thenonsquirrel (9:21:47 PM): Do you know how amusing you are when you get excited
MagicRoar (9:22:21 PM): me? try observing yourself
thenonsquirrel (9:22:55 PM): It's difficult...I'm usually too busy watching other people
MagicRoar (9:23:40 PM): well, that's the reason i believe you're a squirrel in disguise
thenonsquirrel (9:24:25 PM): Squirrels don't care about anyone themselves, and they certainly wouldn't enjoy watching other people for amusement.

thenonsquirrel (9:29:33 PM): Stop!!!!  Excessive silliness is my job1

11-14-00

thenonsquirrel (9:52:36 PM): Why would you give in to the whims of someone that annoying?
MagicRoar (9:52:51 PM): to get them out of your hair
thenonsquirrel (9:53:16 PM): You could do that by dumping them out the window
MagicRoar (9:53:34 PM): that would be entertaining
MagicRoar (9:53:45 PM): but it's not very much of a fall
thenonsquirrel (9:53:52 PM): Speaking of which, have you ever noticed how safely you could get out of Ms. Walker's room through her window over the radiator?

thenonsquirrel (9:59:47 PM): And when your chasing someone, and you get to pounce...that's fun

11-15-00

MagicRoar (3:39:39 PM): then you're mentally weak
thenonsquirrel (3:39:57 PM): I prefer unstable, thanks
MagicRoar (3:40:19 PM): same effect
thenonsquirrel (3:40:32 PM): no, not at all
thenonsquirrel (3:41:00 PM): A structure which is unstable could be fortified; if fundamentally weak, it's fairly hopeless

11-16-00

thenonsquirrel (8:57:58 PM): How do you write 5's?
MagicRoar (8:58:04 PM): 5
thenonsquirrel (8:58:17 PM): With a pencil, moron
thenonsquirrel (9:00:11 PM): Do you write 5's w/ one or two strokes?
MagicRoar (9:00:19 PM): 2
thenonsquirrel (9:00:31 PM): odd
MagicRoar (9:01:01 PM): why? how do you write them?
thenonsquirrel (9:01:23 PM): w/ one, starting from the bottom; it makes more sense
MagicRoar (9:01:47 PM): then they get too rounded and look like s's
thenonsquirrel (9:02:24 PM): Yeah, but other people's fall apart and look like meaningless scribbles
all I have to do is avoid the variable s

11-20-00

MagicRoar (8:50:32 PM): you should've prevented it from freezing
thenonsquirrel (8:50:38 PM): What could I do to prevent it?
MagicRoar (8:50:49 PM): talk to it politely
MagicRoar (8:50:53 PM): they like that
thenonsquirrel (8:51:02 PM): It stopped speaking to me long ago
thenonsquirrel (8:51:13 PM): It merely tolerates my presence
MagicRoar (8:51:15 PM): so? you can still talk to it
thenonsquirrel (8:51:20 PM): sometimes
MagicRoar (8:51:24 PM): maybe you'd eventually become friends
thenonsquirrel (8:51:29 PM): except when it freeze
thenonsquirrel (8:51:32 PM): s
thenonsquirrel (8:51:35 PM): no
MagicRoar (8:51:40 PM): how often does it do that?
thenonsquirrel (8:51:51 PM): About once a week
MagicRoar (8:52:05 PM): then you don't have a good relationship with your computer
MagicRoar (8:52:10 PM): that's a very bad thing

11-21-00

thenonsquirrel (9:03:34 PM): I think the first thing I'll do is stay up all night, and not go home for hours
thenonsquirrel (9:03:46 PM): It's my parents fault for suppressing me

thenonsquirrel (9:06:56 PM): The basic idea is the not having to go anywhere or do anything if you don't want to
thenonsquirrel (9:07:17 PM): gosh, I sound like a teenager
MagicRoar (9:07:23 PM): scary, isn't it?
thenonsquirrel (9:07:32 PM): yes
thenonsquirrel (9:07:48 PM): at least I'm still minus the obscenities

11-25-00

thenonsquirrel (10:57:40 PM): But she needed help
It's like jumping in to save a drowning person
MagicRoar (10:57:48 PM): yeah
MagicRoar (10:57:51 PM): stupid
thenonsquirrel (10:58:08 PM): but so noble...
thenonsquirrel (10:58:14 PM): (snort)
MagicRoar (10:58:32 PM): at least you recognize your own irrationality

11-29-00

thenonsquirrel (9:35:29 PM): how rude
thenonsquirrel (9:35:39 PM): I am shocked at your behavior
MagicRoar (9:36:12 PM): mine?
MagicRoar (9:36:19 PM): i thought i had ceased to shock you
thenonsquirrel (9:37:55 PM): My resilient personality keeps recovering
Then I'm re-shocked
note: i stoll this background pic from a website
http://members.tripod.com/Thryomanes/uptree.jpg
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