"Hey, let's get sh*t faced."
Farmer brown has an old rooster for his chickens, but he's gettin on in his years, and isn't as horny as he used to be. So, farmer Brown goes to the local pet store, and say's,
"I need the horniest rooster this side of the Rio Grande!"
"We got what yer lookin fer, mister. THIS is Randy, and he IS the horniest chicken anywhere!"
So farmer Brown took the rooster home and placed him in the hen house, then he went upstairs and took a nap. When he woke up there was a big suprise waiting for him: Randy had gone through teh hen house, screwing all of the hens, feathers and hay every where, then, he had pecked a hole through the back wall, and has gone through the fence, to the cattle barn, after that, he made his way to the pig pen (Amid much squeeling), the horse corral, the dog, the cat, the HAMSTER!!!... Pretty soon reports come up all over the county about this horny rooster humping everything! After an exsausting search, Farmer brown comes home and looks out in his field and see's Randy lying in it, vultures circling him. Farmer Brown ran out and kneeled down next to Randy,
"Why, Randy? Why did you screw yourself to death!"
Then, Randy leaned up and whispered,
"SHHHH, they're getting closer."
Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
He didn't want anybody to find out he fucked a chicken
What do the Flintstones and Bin Laden have in common?
They look outside and see rubble.
Why are women like tornadoes?
Because they're wet and wild at first, but in the end, they take everything.
So dad tells his son, "Boy, get me some viagra!" so the boy skips down the street to the local drug store. "Hey, my dad needs some sex-pills!" he says to the guy behind the counter. "Allright son," he says, "one every twenty four hours." So the kid skips off down the street, singing "One every twenty-four ho-urs!"
But soon the son trips. He gets up, dusts himself off, and skips down the street once more, happily singing "Twenty-four every one ho-ur!"
The next day the boy returns to the drugstore. "My dad needs more sex-pills!" he says. "What, already?" the man says "What happened?"
"Well," the boy begins, "My mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, my butt hurts, and dad's on the roof saying 'heere kitty kitty kitty'!"
So three hoes are sitting at a bar, and they're comparing "looseness." The first one says "Hey, I can get three fingers in!" and the second says
"That's nothing, I can fit in my whole hand!"
They look over and the third one is sliding down the bar stool.
Your mom is like a shotgun. When she cocks, she blows. (courtesy of Xatan)
There's these 2 guys walking around town, and neither of em had a watch. So they go around the corner and spot a Mexican dude sitting on the sidewalk with a donkey. The 2 guys ask the Mexican what time it is. The Mexican grabs the donkey by the balls, lifts them up, and then replies, "Its about 2:30." The first guy says
"Wow! How did you learn to tell time using a donkeys balls!?"
to which the Mexican responds "It's simple. You see, you sit where I am, and you grab the donkey's balls and you lift them so you can see the clock on that building over there."
Your mom's like a shotgun, when she cocks, she blows.
Your mom's like McDonalds, everyone eats out.
Your mom's like a dog, when you call she comes.
More coming soon...
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