written by Cassie
Author: Cassie
Email: [email protected]. Flames are entirely welcome. I�ll make my girlfriend yell at you.
Summary: I was challenged by Fluffy Kat. Pairing is W/A (or wanka, which is a lovely pairing title)
Rating: Hmm. I don�t even think I swore once. [shock] I�ll just go with PG-13.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Willow, Anya, the Necro Whore and others belong to Joss Whedon, Marti "Crackwhore" Noxon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. I own nothing but my angst, wit, and my spiffy mp3 collection I listened to whilst writing this. Which sucks by the way. My writing, not my mp3s.
Dedication: This one�s for Fluffy Kat. You made me write it after all. Now gimme my Fuffy, biotch�
"Why are we here?" The blonde whispered softly, her eyes boring into Willow�s, begging her for an answer to that question. A reason as to why they were pressed together in the Magic Box, sharing the same breath, the tacos Willow had bought on the way over for a late dinner on the table, forgotten. Her eyes dropped when Willow remained silent, refusing to voice the small word they both knew took so much away from them and had been the catalyst for what was about to happen.
Loss. Both had endured more than their fair share of it over the last year. Willow, losing Tara to a bullet that was meant for her best friend. She often wished that it had met its mark. If it had it wouldn�t have taken two of the most important people in her life away from her. One she had been losing for years, the other she had just got back.
Anya had lost Xander as she stood at the alter to marry him, in the instant she realized he had backed out of the most important day of her life. Not just her wedding day, but the day she felt she would truly become human. Humanity was something she�d searched for since being cast out of what she had known for centuries. Something she�d never be now, having regained her demon status because of him.
They were different kinds of loss, but similar if only by circumstance. The mutual agony felt by the fact that their friends no longer cared or noticed how much they were hurting and they were all that each other had.
The redhead looked up, meeting the brown eyes of the woman that had held her as she sobbed at Tara�s funeral. The blonde witch had been buried in one of her favorite skirts, which Xander had aptly dubbed �a curtain�. Buffy had been occupied with keeping Spike away from Xander. This was nothing new to Willow, though. The Slayer had always been a little too busy with a vampire to spare some time for her supposed best friend.
"Anya," Willow started to speak, wanting to give her some answer, even if it wasn�t the one they both knew was the right one. Sometimes a lie was better than the truth, less painful. Willow never wanted to hurt the people she loved. She wasn�t Buffy.
The blonde�s hand on her cheek stopped her. Willow met her gaze again. Anya barely moved her head, her nose touching Willow�s as she silently asked her not to say anything. She couldn�t take something else in her life being based upon a statement they both knew was false. It wouldn�t be the forever that either of their previous lovers had promised them, but it would mean something to her.
Her lips brushed against Willow�s softly with that movement, innocently intentional. Willow pressed forward, kissing her back, bringing about the inevitable with a simple action.
Anya didn�t taste of death, like she thought a demon would. Buffy had once mentioned in passing that everything about a vampire was cold and dead and made her feel alive in comparison. The only thing that made her feel alive. She had certainly had a lot of practice tasting them. But Willow couldn�t remember the last time she had tried to feel alive with her friends and hated Buffy for the fact. Hated her for abandoning her, just as much as she loved her for being her best friend since high school.
Her tongue slipping into Anya�s mouth, she pinpointed the taste down honey and tea, the kind kept in the shop. A taste familiar to her after countless group meetings and something she found to be comforting. She walked them backwards, till she felt the small of her back connect with the counter. Anya�s hand fell to the countertop next to Willow�s hip, her thumb brushing over the soft cotton of the redhead�s shirt.
Their lips pressed together more firmly, the kiss intensifying. Willow, wanting to feel as much of her as possible, wrapped her arm around her waist, pulling her closer. Anya was smaller than Tara, and she briefly wondered if she would taste the same as her former lover when Anya�s body was naked and writhing beneath her touch. Her mind jerked at the thought.
Feeling eyes upon her, she opened her own, expecting to see Anya�s brown gaze meeting her own hazel. But her eyes were still closed, eyelashes resting on her cheek as her hand did the same to Willow�s. Anya shifted, the hand on her hip slipping under Willow�s top to caress the smooth, heated skin of her stomach as her lips trailed across her jaw, down to the pulse point of her neck, sucking gently on the skin there. Willow moaned softly, tilting her head, giving her more access. Her eyes, still open, landed on the doorway of the shop, where a figure stood outside of the Magic Box, staring at them through the open blinds. Green eyes met the chocolatey brown of her other best friend as he stood watching her in an intimate embrace with his former fianc�e.
He looked hurt, shocked, angry, betrayed, but above all else expectant. Waiting for her to pull away from the blonde that was oblivious to his presence. To admit she was doing something wrong and to later come and beg him for forgiveness. The thought incensed her anger.
She pulled Anya closer.
Her arms wrapped firmly around her as Anya�s hand slipped higher, her fingertips brushing the underside of Willow�s breast, causing her to moan again. Willow watched as her action ripped his heart out, devastating hurt becoming the predominant emotion in his eyes. She had chosen someone else over him. Disregarded his feelings for both herself and Anya, their friendship, everything that they had shared in their lifetime. She had picked a demon over him, much like Buffy had done, cruel, countless times. A promise she had made long ago to never do. Broken, lost. As Xander turned and quickly walked away from the window, Willow feared a part of their friendship was lost as well.
Willow knew nothing could immediately come of whatever happened in the shop. It was too soon. Her love was still for Tara, desperately clinging to those memories that were slowly slipping away and cherishing the ones that would never fade; Anya�s still for Xander, the man that had wounded her grievously with his cowardice and who she wanted to hate but loved too much to be able to. Loss didn�t erase love. It brought them together to numb the wounds that would never heal.