Prank You Very Much

12/3/98-12/28/98

Emily walked over to the tall tree by the pond and sat down. Her shoulder length dirty blonde hair fell into her blue-green eyes. Ems moved the hair out of her face and she saw Sillen walk past her through the path. She yelled at her new friend, "SILLEN! WHAT'S UP???"

"Hmm? Oh, hi Ems." Sillen replied, losing her concentration. " I'm just taking a walk. Right now I'm stuck in this poem I've been trying to write." Sillen handed Emily the scroll she had been holding.

"A wat'ry place,

Deep and dark.

On a ship,

he must embark.

On his quest,

he left no mark,....

Sillen, where's the rest?"

"That's where I'm stuck."

"Oh, well I can't really help you." Emily returned the scroll.

"What are you up to?" Sillen asked.

"Nothing much."

It was a gloomy day, no one seemed to feel like doing anything, especially talking.

"Where's Strife?" Emily asked with an annoyed look

"Ares' Temple. He's doing some errands for his 'favorite uncle'. You'd think he would stick around here, but no, he's got work to do!"

"I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid, again." Emily smiled, remembering what happened last time.

The sun was setting, Emily and Sillen walked back to the temple. Inside, Cassia was busy cleaning up the alter, it wasn't like Strife was going to notice, but still, she did it anyway.

Cassia turned away from her work "You know girls, we need to do something exciting, something fun!" Sillen and Emily looked at each other, caught off guard by Cassia's sudden outburst. Winter Solstice was just weeks away, so parties were off the list.

What could only a handful of priestesses do to give some life to their Temple of Strife?

Emily looked up at Cassia with a huge grin on her face. "I know!"

"What? WHAT?" Sillen looked at her and asked impatiently. Cassia just waited.

"Well, we could get Diana to help us pull a prank on Strife!"

"I don't know..." Cassia said.

"OH COME ON!" Sillen remarked, "It could be fun!"

"Well, okay, I guess." Cassia looked at Sillen and Emily annoyingly,

"But if it gets out of hand, don't ask for help from me."

"Oh I can't wait!" Sillen was looking happier.

"I'll get Diana." Emily ran off leaving Sillen and Cassia standing.

In a temple room not far away, Maggie was busy unpacking. Folding blouses, hanging skirts, and wondering where in the Gods' names she was going to put all her boots. She was in the middle of categorizing her accessories as to whether she was bored with it, not bored with it or not bored with it yet but probably would be fairly soon when a noise caught her attention.

The priestesses were planning something. She caught snatches of conversation here and there as it echoed off the cold stone walls.

Whatever was going down, it had to be good. Strife's name and the word 'prank' being uttered in the same sentence had to indicate the start of something big, and something fun.

She leapt up and got as far as the doorway before her conscience caught up with her. Sure a prank would be hilarious, plus give her the opportunity to get know some of her fellow priestesses, but she was new here, and that meant she should be on her best behavior.

"Stupid morals," she grumbled.

"On the one hand," she said with a sigh, putting her right hand out in front of her palm-up. "First day here. Don't know all the rules. Don't wanna risk getting kicked out. Wanna make a good impression. Don't want to tick off the God I'm supposed to be worshipping."

She then stuck out her left hand, also palm up. "Prank. Fun. Laughs. Meet new people. Fun. God I'm supposed to be worshipping is involved."

Carefully she weighed her options, letting her palms decide for her.

"Behave," she said carefully, feeling the weight of it, then looked at her left hand. "Prank."

"Behave...Prank...Behave...Prank"

The hands wavered slightly one hand up, the other down, then switching as her scale slowly balanced itself out.

She glared at her palms and suddenly her left hand sank and stayed there.

"Prank it is," she said with a smile, before dashing out the door to catch up with the others.

Emily ran back to the Temple with Diana. Obviously she had no idea what on earth Emily wanted her there for.

"What do you want now?" asked Diana.

"OH! I need your help in pulling a prank on Strife.

Maggie just then walked in. All the priestesses looked at her. "What's going on?" she asked. "I heard you guys talking about pulling a prank"

"Yeah!!" said Sillen. "Can you help us?"

"Sure, So what do I do?" asked Maggie.

"Um, well, I don't know exactly what we are going to do," Ems said.

Emily and Diana started talking again. They were definitely up to something not good, because they were grinning evilly. Whatever they were going to pull, it could end them up in a lot of trouble.

"So what ideas do you have so far?" Diana asked.

"Well, we don't really have any," Emily replied.

The bunch of them thought for a while.

Sillen broke the silence. "Okay, how about feeding Strife fake grapes! That really could work, we'd just need clay and paint."

The others looked at each other.

"What, don't like it? Okay, what if we pretended that we renamed the temple to Apollo, since Strife doesn't come to see us enough. Or we could redecorate it so when Strife does come around, he'll think he's fallen back in time. I know those ideas sound a little of the wall but how about this, we take all the furniture and things, and nail them to the ceiling, so Strife will think he's walking upside-down!" Sillen giggled at her ideas.

Diana, Emily and Maggie didn't know what to think.

"I think we could pull the one with us pretending to be Apollo's priestesses. What do you think?" Ems said.

"I love it!" said Maggie.

"Let's do it!! Okay, so what are the plans?"

"Hmmmm," Diana said, "wouldn't you much rather pretend to be priestesses for Ares?"

"That could work too," said Ems. "Okay, What does everyone think?"

"I'm in!" Sillen said.

"Me!!!" said Maggie.

"Why not?" That was Cassia.

And, finally, "I'm all the way in!": Diana.

"Okay!" Ems said "We're set! But how do we convince Ares to help us out?"

"I got it covered!" Diana said cheerfully, then she started back to Ares' Temple.

"So...what exactly makes Ares temple any different than Strife's? I mean, they are both sorta on the same wavelength aren't they?" Maggie asked, scratching her head.

"Ares temple is darker, more menacing. Strife's is kind of lighter," explained Cassia.

"Ares place is stricter, more rules, less fun, and the punishments are more severe," said Sillen.

"Strife is about mischief while Ares is about malice," Ems chimed in.

"Hmmm...So that I guess that means a little redecorating is in order," Maggie said with a sly grin.

"Gods, this thing must weigh as much as me," Maggie complained, as she and Sillen heaved a gigantic shield up onto the wall.

"I know, who could possibly need something as large as this?"

"It's a warrior's shield," Ems explained, polishing the swords that were going to be hung up crossing the shield once it was in place. "I found it lying around in the basement. Don't ask me how Strife got it."

"Well I'm sorry," Maggie said, pushing the shield up and over onto its peg. "But anybody who needs a shield this big is obviously trying to overcompensate for something."

Sillen giggled. "I guess now we know why Strife has it."

"I was wondering, since we're supposed to be Ares' now, doesn't that mean we're going to have to look the part?" the new priestess wondered, wiping some sweat off her forehead.

"I dunno. I guess." Sillen said offhandedly, tilting her head sideways and taking a good look at the shield. "Hey Ems, does this look straight to you?"

"Looks fine from where I'm sitting."

"I don't know, it looks kinda crooked to me."

"I'm telling you Sill, it looks fine."

"Hey look what I found!" Cassia interrupted them, trying to maneuver a high-backed mahogany chair through the doorway.

"Cass let us give you a hand," Ems said, she and Sillen pulling on the chair from their side of the room.

"Can you believe somebody was just throwing this away?" the priestess gushed.

"From the looks of the seat?" Sillen asked dryly. "Yes. Yes I can."

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," Cassia said throwing a black silk tablecloth over the chair once she had it where she wanted it. "See? Now it's a throne fit for a major God!"

"I guess it's fine," Sillen conceded. "As long as nobody tries to sit in it."

Ems wasn't paying much attention at that moment. "Hey, where'd Maggie disappear to?"

"I'm right here," the priestess in question said coming in through a rear door. She had changed into a loose black leather body suit that was slightly low cut and covered in worn bronze spikes and a fleece-lined brown leather jacked that fell to her ankles. She had teased her hair into a large curly mass with one smaller mass bunched upon either side of her head. Over one arm was draped various articles of clothing, and clutched in the hand of the other was a basket full of makeup and accessories.

"Who's up for a makeover?" she asked, smiling devilishly.

Emily smiled. "Who's first?" she asked.

"Me I guess," said Sillen. "Let's go for it!"

Cassia went looking for more things to add to the temple.

Emily watched Maggie put on Sillen's make-up. She was giggling.

"Hey! You're coming up here too ya' know!" said Sillen.

"Sorry! I can't help it!" Ems kept on giggling. Soon she was laughing, and once you got her started she couldn't stop.

Finally Sillen was done. "How do I look?" she asked. "Like one of Ares' priestesses?"

"Uh, sure!" said Ems. "My turn!!"

"Okay! Come here Ems!" said Maggie.

Finally, everyone was finished. The re-decorating was done and Emily was still laughing.

"I'm sorry!" and she started to calm down.

It really looked like *one* of Ares temples.

"Okay, what now?" Emily said, who had finally stopped laughing.

"I guess just wait?" said Maggie, Sillen, and Cassia at the same time.

"Oh no!" said Cass, "She's gonna start laughing again!"

Emily smirked. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna start laughing again. Hopefully." She plopped down on a chair and sighed. "Well, we could... Oh I can't think of anything to do."

Suddenly all the priestesses jumped to their feet. They heard something.

"Hmm, maybe Strife is here?" said Maggie.

"I hope so," giggled Emily. "Maybe now he'll see how we feel. Rejected!"

All the priestesses nodded. "This is gonna be good!" said Sillen.

And someone came in. Emily smiled again. Cass looked at her.

"DON'T EVEN!" said Cass. Ems covered her mouth.

"Okay, just, act, casual!" said Sillen.

"WHAT?" said Emily, "You actually think that's possible for me?"

"OH SHUT UP!" said Maggie glaring at her.

"FINE!" Said Ems sarcastically. "I will!"

Then, right after Emily stopped talking, Strife walked in with a surprised look on his face.

Strife was just returning from his Uncle Ares' place, feeling totally wrung out.

There had been a war, of course. There was always some war going on somewhere, keeping him away from his temple and his girls. And of course Ares had needed him to run errands, keep things simmering, make sure King what's-his-Name was sufficiently ticked off at Johnny Upstart from across the pond, and vice-versa.

Now all he wanted to do was kick back and be worshipped to his pale little heart's content. A little quality time to get to know some of the newer priestesses. But first a neck rub, he decided with a wry grin as he climbed the stairs, too exhausted to even teleport. A nice neck rub and shoulder massage, perhaps while getting his cuticles done and being fed some fresh grapes by his adoring priestesses. "All work and no play makes Strife a dull God," he smiled to himself as he entered his temple, rubbing his hands together in expectation.

His euphoria didn't last long. "What in the name of ..." he murmured, looking around the entryway.

Black satin was draped over just about everything that could be considered furniture, and what wasn't furniture had been replaced by weaponry. Axes and longbows decorated the doorways.

What was going on?

From the throne room came sounds of laughter and hushed reprimands.

He thought as much.

His priestesses had probably gotten wind of his return and redecorated thinking to please him, sweet things that they were.

He smoothed his hair back off his face and straightened his body suit; if it was one thing Strife knew how to do it was make an entrance.

And make an entrance he did. He set one foot inside the door and froze. He had intended to say something witty and dreamy sigh-inducing but all his throat managed to get out was a strangled yelp.

The room was rather dark. The windows had been fitted with black satin drapes and the walls were adorned with shields, swords, spears and decorative knives. A satin-draped throne sat in the place of honor that his leopard skin couch normally held. And his priestesses- Gods!- his priestesses were covered from head to foot in dark leather and velvet and had on even darker makeup.

"Temple," he whimpered rather incoherently. "Temple...happened...what...how..."

"Something wrong Strife?" one of the girls asked, the newer one, Magpie or Maigrey or something, he was having trouble thinking straight at the moment.

"What happened to my temple?" he managed to get out in a strangled gurgle.

"Your temple?," she said, laughter bubbling up from her throat. "Oh Strife you're so funny sometimes. This is Ares' temple."

"ARES'?!?!" he shrieked.

Maggie massaged her ear, making sure he hadn't made her go deaf with that last outburst. Emily was against the wall struggling not to double over in laughter Sillen and Cassia kept elbowing her.

"This has always been Ares' temple," she informed him allowing a hint of concern to creep into her voice as she tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear. "Are you feeling okay?"

It was then that Strife noticed the tiny dagger dangling from her earlobe, as well as from the ears of the other priestesses. His mind was racing. He had been pretty tired when he'd teleported back from the battle zone to Unc's, was it possible he's accidentally sent himself to a parallel dimension?

The new girl had put her arm around his shoulder and was now resting her head on the top of his arm. "Poor Strifey, I'm sure Ares will make it all better as soon as he gets in."

The one thing the godling didn't want was to stick around and see what this version of Ares was like. If he could lure girls like these to his side he must be twice as bad as his Ares.

With a garbled explanation he disentangled himself from the priestess and bolted out the door.

"What did he say?" Sillen asked. Ems was curled up on the floor laughing until her ribs hurt.

"All I could make out was something about 'alternate universe.'"

"Crap. That can't be good," Cassia breathed. "Maybe we overdid it."

Emily sat up. "Oh no! You really think that maybe he does think that?"

"I don't know! We'd better find him and clear this up though," said Cassia.

"What? And risk getting in major trouble?" said Sillen.

"I think I just might have an idea!" said Maggie. "We could maybe change everything back to the way it was before, go find Strife, and tell him to come back to the temple, and that we've been looking for him."

"Hey! Yeah! Well, what are we waiting for? We've got some work to do!" said Emily.

All the priestesses started fixing up the temple and themselves.

"Well, we're finally done!" said Cassia. "Do you think he'll buy this?"

"He has too," said Ems. "I mean, we have to make it sound real. He might think something screwy is going on, but he might believe us. We have to take a shot at it."

"Yeah, I guess," responded Cass.

"Okay, now to find Strife!" said Sillen.

"Let's go!" Maggie responded.

"We'd better split up. Sillen and I will head over to Ares to see if Strife's there; if he's not we'll get Di and Ares to help," Cassia instructed. "You two stay here and search the grounds; he might have doubled back and be hiding in the area."

Emily and Maggie nodded in agreement and waved to the two departing priestesses.

"So..." Maggie faltered, not knowing Emily that well. "How should we divide this up?"

"I'll search the temple," Ems told her. "I know most of the hiding places and secret passages. You check around outside. The woods and pond have a lot of good spots where people can watch the temple and not be seen he might be laying low there to see what we do."

"'Kay."

Ems had decided to search the basement first. When she had found that shield she thought she had noticed a hidden door. Stepping over discarded trinkets and weapons, she made her way to the back wall.

Just as she'd suspected she saw the tiny strip of light beckoning to her from a dark corner. A large wall hanging obscured the rest of it.

"An underground entrance. I never fail to amaze myself," she smiled. She pushed back the tapestry and gasped.

She had expected to find a door or a passageway or something; anything but what she found.

A small vortex swirling whites and golds in an unending spiral stood before her, she had to put a hand above her eyes so she could see clearly.

Deciding to test it out, she tossed a rusty dagger into the light. The vortex swirled even faster; the light got even brighter, and the dagger disappeared with a rather unpleasant slurping sound.

"Somehow I don't think this is a good thing," she muttered, carefully replacing the tapestry and heading back up the stairs.

"Ow! Stupid tree," Maggie grumbled, attempting to get her skirt untangled from the thorn bush and only succeeding in cutting her finger.

She was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to sneak around to the rear of the temple. Unfortunately the temple greenery had other plans.

After several harrowing minutes of pulling and uttering lots of words unsuitable for young children she managed to free herself.

No sooner had she gotten around the corner of the temple then someone grabbed her arm, twisted her around, and threw her flat on her back, knocking the wind out of her.

"Good day Sunshine," Strife crooned, holding her down by the shoulders, his knee lightly pressing into her belly.

"Um...Strife...Hi," she said struggling to catch her breath. "Hiiiiii," she said, cheerfully as possible, remembering the plan. "We weren't expecting you back for a few more days. Gosh, the girls sure will be surprised."

The Godling stared down at her; dumbfounded. Surely this was one of his priestesses. She looked like one of his priestesses and acted like one of his priestesses. But something wasn't quite right.

The girl laughed nervously underneath him. "Is this some sort of initiation thing?"

He hadn't teleported! That's what it was! He hadn't gotten the chance to try and get himself back to where he was supposed to be. He was about to attempt it when he'd heard the new girl come around the corner.

"Uhhh, Strife?" Maggie said, still pinned on the ground. " Would you maybe consider letting me up now? I'm starting to lose the feeling in my arms."

"Of course sweetie," he cooed, all sugary sweetness. "I'm so sorry. But a God like me can't be too careful about being on the lookout for enemies, right?"

"Riiight," she said slowly, not liking the tone of his voice at all as he brushed the dirt off her back.

"So...what have you girls been doing while I was gone?" he asked, sliding a hand across her cheek and through her hair.

"Pining?" she offered.

Suddenly his fingers brushed against something and he pulled hard.

Maggie let out a gasp of pain as one of Strife's hands shot up and squeezed either side of her jaw and the other firmly tugged on the dagger still in her ear.

Dammit! she knew she had forgotten something in her hurry to change and fix the temple.

"Nice try, cutie pie," the angry God hissed. "But I'm not buying it. Tell your little friends and *your* Ares that I know what's going on."

The priestess let out a tiny and pathetic whimper.

"I'm going to let you go now," he stated slowly, "and then I'm going to leave. I want you to count to thirty before you even consider moving. Don't try to follow me, or next time I won't be so nice. Understand?"

She nodded as best she could, his hand still tightly clamped on her jawbone.

"Good."

Emily came running into the throne room just seconds before Maggie.

"Guess what I did!" they both exclaimed.

Emily decided to listen to Maggie first. They both sat down. Maggie told her what happened, Emily stared at the floor listening to every word. After Maggie finished she looked up and said, "We have to do something. But what?"

Sillen and Cassia arrived at Ares' temple. They looked around and searched for Strife with Diana. After searching forever they finally gave up. "He must not be here," said Cassia. "Hey, did you tell Ares about this prank?" she asked.

"Yeah, thank the gods you told me what happened too. Wow, this certainly backfired." Diana shook her head and looked up. "Cass, we have to do something. Do you know where Emily and Maggie are?" she asked.

"Yeah, come on, let's go get them."

Emily kept thinking. "Wow, I can't believe he couldn't figure us out. Why, I mean WHY did he actually think that he was in another world? Man, I thought he could figure it out. I just don't understand. I can't figure it out."

Maggie nodded. "And what in Zeus' name are we supposed to do?"

Ems and Maggie looked up as the three other priestesses rushed in the door.

"What's going on?" Sillen asked.

Ems and Maggie quickly explained everything to Cassia, Diana and Sillen.

"This isn't good," Sillen said.

"NO, THIS IS HORRIBLE!" Cassia was almost yelling. "We have to do something or we'll be serving in a temple whose god has run away!"

"This is definitely a prank gone too far," Diana added.

"Hey, maybe we could somehow use another prank or something, to make Strife think everything's back to normal," Sillen said hopefully.

This time Maggie spoke up, "Yeah, but how are we going to make him think that he's changed dimensions again. I mean, we've already messed up once, and he's kinda nervous about his bigger badder Ares idea."

"Well it looks like he's definitely not going to come to us," Cassia said, still a little aggravated.

"Ems, didn't you just mention something like a portal you found?" Sillen asked.

"Yeah, it's behind a hidden passage," Emily replied.

"What if we used that to trick Strife, well, without him actually going through it."

"Do you think we could get that to work? I doubt that Strife would want to come near the temple now." Maggie was right.

"And where do you think it goes to anyway?"

Emily sat down once again. "I don't think that it's safe even to go near it." She sounded a little frightened.

"I doubt Strife would come here anyway," said Maggie.

Emily didn't notice anything the priestesses where saying. She just stared at the ground and concentrated. She had a habit of that. "Cassia, you must have noticed the vortex thingy when you moved in. It isn't too hard to miss. But I don't think I could have noticed it without tripping over that shield. I think it's too dangerous, but I want to know where it goes." Emily continued, "If it goes to another dimension maybe Strife already knew about it?!" She looked up.

"You think so?" Cassia said. "I dunno. I just, well, I don't know."

Sillen looked at Emily. She thought for a minute. Maybe Emily is right, she thought, if Strife already knows about it then he could have thought he was in another dimension. "I think you're right Ems," she concluded.

"It could be possible." Maggie shrugged. "How about you show it to us?"

"Yeah, I'd like to see it," said Diana. "It couldn't be too bad."

"Okay you guys, but first, What to do about Strife?" Emily stared at the door. "Should we get Ares to help us with this one?"

"I think so," Diana said. "It might be better than trying to fix this ourselves."

After the five of them got a good look at the portal, they went over to Ares' Temple. It was very busy, so it took a while before they could see Ares.

Emily and Maggie briefly explained to him what had happened.

Ares just laughed. "He'll be back, he's Strife."

"I don't think so," Emily said.

"Can you help us?" asked Cassia.

"Gods, this freaking sucks pond water," Maggie grumbled, tripping over her own two feet and wondering what on earth had possessed her to buy spine-heeled boots, let alone wear them.

Once again they were back at their own temple; once again made-over into dark priestesses. The only difference was that now Ares was with them.

The first thing they had done when they got back was recreate the "Evil Ares" temple, then they'd made themselves look even nastier than before- outlining their eyes and lips with charcoal colors and painting their lips a glossy midnight black.

Now once again they were the covering the temple grounds searching for Strife. This prank was starting to be more trouble then it was worth.

The priestess shrieked in frustration, angrily kicking a log. "Ow! Daaaaaaangit!" she squeaked in pain, grabbing her abused foot, throwing herself off-balance and causing her to land in the dirt with an unattractive thud.

"You know, you aren't exactly making it hard for me to find you," an amused voice said.

"I freaking hate my life," she ground out, as Strife peered down at her with a half-smile.

"What do you think Ares is doing?" Emily asked Sillen, as they poked around the unused West wing of the temple.

"I dunno, but he's been off by himself an awful long time."

"And that means...?"

"Not sure, but it pry ain't good."

"Here Strifey Strifey, Di's got a surprise for you," Diana said, hoping to entice the Godling out into the open. "Don't make me come in there!" she added with a hiss.

She was pretty sure she'd heard him duck into the kitchen's broom closet. "OK fine, be that way." She grabbed the door handle and jerked sharply. "Gotch-Ahhhhh!!! Rat! Big big rat!!" she yelled in surprise, leaping back as the mother of all rats came scuttling out of the closet and across the floor, a biscuit clenched in its jaws.

Cassia sighed. This was not turning out the way she had expected at all. And certainly it was true that she had told the others not to come crying for help if something went wrong she couldn't help but feel obligated. Strife *was* her God of choice (And that was could stay emphasized if they couldn't find Strife and fix things) and she had helped rearrange the temple and willingly let herself be made over.

"Man oh man oh man," she muttered miserably to herself. "I swear if he comes back I will never allow myself to be sucked into a prank again."

"Well well, what do you have to say for yourself this time?"

"Um...Fancy meeting you here?"

The Godling shook his head. "That is so incredibly pathetic I'm not even going to begin telling you what's wrong with it."

"How kind of you," she said, trying to slither away, rather ungracefully, while still lying flat on her back.

"You'd better hope my kindness streak doesn't run out. Oops too late!" he exclaimed reaching down and swiftly pulling her to her feet by the underarm. "Now what did I tell you when last we met?"

"Something along the lines of blah blah blah, have a nice day."

"Now would I say something like that?" he asked, a hint of menace in his tone.

"Yes?" she tried.

Strife clucked his tongue while shaking his head. "You know, I expected a lot more from a priestess with a God like yours."

"Well maybe *my* God was never around to teach me how to lie and annoy as well as you can. Maybe *my* God was too busy doing other stuff to care about his priestesses." To heck with him. She was tired and irritable and her feet were killing her.

"Well then maybe your God is an idiot and a loser who doesn't know a good thing when he's got it. Or maybe your God was just being smart in neglecting people who obviously can't learn a thing."

That was it. Nobody, nobody insulted her God and got away with it! "Yeah well maybe I've been playing you for a sap all along. Maybe Ares is using me to distract you while he moves in. Did you ever think of that Paleface?"

Paleface? Gods where had she come up with that one? He was going to be ticked now, from what she heard he didn't like jokes about his skin tone.

"You are a horrible liar. And a pretty lousy warrior too if I've been able to catch you off guard, what is it, twice now?"

Lousy? That was the last straw. With the best Xena yell imitation she could muster she lashed out, kicking him ferociously in the gut. When he was doubled over in pain she forced his head up and kissed him hard enough on the forehead to leave a near-perfect lip-print.

"Now," she hissed, "Ares can follow you anywhere you go. There's no escape for you. Happy hiding." And with that she stalked away as best she could.

The full impact of what she had just done didn't hit her until she gotten within earshot of the temple. Oh Gods she had wrecked everything! There was no way in Tartarus Strife was going to come back now. Damn damn damn! They'd probably never even see him again. She wished she was dead.

On the verge of tears, she covered her face with her hands.

"Think you're so smart do ya?" a familiar, albeit labored, voice wheezed behind her.

She nearly knocked the Godling over she threw herself at him so hard, hugging him as if he had returned from the dead.

Strife was in shock at this point. What exactly was going on here? There hadn't been more then five minutes between the time she left him and the time he caught up with her, had Ares somehow shown up, reprimanded or punished her and left just as quickly? Anyhow, he got what he came for.

"If Ares can follow me just via lipstick then there's no harm in taking a whole priestess along for the ride."

"What?"

"You're my hostage. Nothing personal of course. Purely a first come first grab kind of thing," he explained, getting a firm grip on her arm and pulling her into the woods.

Emily and Sillen were close enough to hear Maggie's scream. "What the?" Emily muttered. "We'd better go see what is going on."

Sillen started for the door and remembered something. "We should get Ares. He's like the only person that can stop Strife. If Strife is with Maggie then we should take Ares!" Sillen called his name and he appeared.

"Okay! Let's go!" Emily shouted. The three of them ran outside and looked around but Ares immediately saw Strife.

"STRIFE!" He yelled catching Emily off guard, making her almost fall. Strife turned and let go of Maggie turning and running as fast as he could as far away from Ares as possible.

Cassia couldn't take it anymore. "I give up." she said to herself. "I'm going to find Emily and Sillen."

Diana was also getting tired of searching, especially with all the rats. "Cass better have a good explanation for this!" she said. "I HATE rats!"

Ares didn't bother to go after Strife, he knew he would be back. It was just a matter of when. Emily and Sillen shaded their eyes and peered into the distance. They couldn't see Strife anywhere, although he had just left.

"I wonder if maybe he... you don't suppose he..." Emily was getting a little worried.

"Emily, you're saying he might be in the temple..." Maggie said.

"Maybe we should look," Sillen' s voice trailed off.

"Hey, where is Ares?" asked Emily. "He was here a minute ago."

"He must have gone to find Cassia and Diana. They are still in there," said Maggie.

"Yeah, probably. Well, let's go find them too," Emily said, shaking her head. The three priestesses turned and gasped. Strife was standing right behind them. He had an evil smile on his face, and wasn't looking to happy.

"Well well," the Godling said darkly. "Apparently a priestess in the hand results in three in the brush."

"Don't you ever get tired of saying 'well well?'" Maggie asked.

"You shut your mouth," he snapped pointing an accusing finger at her. "I'm still peeved at you for nailing me with that heel of yours. You could have punctured something."

"Or deflated your ego," she murmured under her breath.

"Ooh! I heard that!" he fumed. "Now all three of you are mine. You make one sound, utter one syllable, or even think about calling your dark and disturbed God and you're as good as dead."

"And what makes you think we're going to listen to you?" Sillen asked with a hint of amusement in her voice. "All Ares had to say was your name before you took off like a scared little bunny."

"Because I have these and you don't," he growled, a ball of blue energy flaring up in each fist. "So you will listen to every damn word I say!"

"Good point."

"Woods. March. Now," he ordered pointing towards the forest.

Maggie looked at her hands in disgust. "Next time I ask you guys what to do you say behave!"

"I said be quiet," Strife hissed, prodding her in the back.

"Hey knock it off! That's annoying."

Emily took this opportunity to sidle up to Sillen. "Does he realize he's got a big black lip-print on his forehead?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Lets not say anything just in case."

"For the love of the Gods!" Strife sputtered. "All I ask. All I want is for you to be quiet! Can't you just follow one irrational demand?"

"No."

Nope."

"Uh-uh."

"When I get back home I'm going to invest in a lot of duct tape," he muttered.

"This is nuts! We just searched the temple!" Cassia exploded. "Now you're telling us we have to go back and do it all over again?"

"Yes," Ares said in a no-nonsense tone, arms crossed over his massive chest. "If it's anything that weasel is good at it, it's slinking into a dark corner to lick his wounds. My guess is he'd be in the kitch..."

"No!" Diana broke in. "I am completely sure he is NOT in the kitchen. Every type of vermin BUT Strife is lurking in the there right now."

"Great. Just Great," Cassia sighed. "I call the bedrooms this time. The baths are filthy."

"I'll check the East wing," Di offered.

"I'm going to see what exactly my nephew has squirreled away in that basement of his."

By now the three priestesses were well out of ear and eyeshot of the temple. Strife had them holed up in a nearby cavern while he had gone out to see if he had been followed.

"Think we should call you-know-who?" Ems asked, seated on a log.

"I dunno. Strife would take one look at him and run shrieking for the hills." Sillen pondered a moment. "We might be better off trying to lure him back to the temple with our feminine wiles."

"What feminine wiles?" Maggie asked, pacing back and forth across the length of the cave. "He doesn't trust us to get within five feet of him unless he's got a firm grip on our arm." She rolled up her leather sleeve to reveal several sets of bruises caused by angry fingers.

"He didn't seem awful averse to you kissing him."

"On the forehead," she protested.

"And he isn't in an awful hurry to get that lip mark off his forehead."

"Which he got after I kicked him in the stomach."

"I dunno," Sillen said innocently as Ems muffled her giggles. "Maybe you're his favorite."

"I am NOT his favorite."

"Well maybe he just thinks you look awful sexy in that outfit of yours."

"Shut up," Maggie hissed.

"Hey Sill I think she's blushing," Emily teased.

"I am NOT!!" She spun on her heel, intending to march right out of the cave and kick Strife again to prove her point, but only managing to throw herself off balance, yet again hitting the dirt. "This is beginning to grow tiresome," she muttered irritably.

"Why is it," Strife asked, going down on his haunches, "that nearly every time I see you you're flat on your back?"

"Just lucky I guess."

"Arggghhh!!!" Cassia's yells of frustration echoed off every wall in the temple. "He is NOT here!!"

Diana shook her head. "That girl has really got to switch to decaf."

"Hey Strife, do you know why Ares is so mad at you?" Sillen asked, an idea suddenly popping into her head.

"No. Why?" he asked, slightly curious as to what the 'badder' version of him had done.

"'Cause Maggie has the hots for you."

"What?!" both the Godling and the priestess exclaimed.

"It's true," Ems chimed in. "She won't admit it but she's always wanted you."

"Really?" he asked, puffing his chest out. Maggie scrambled rather ungracefully to her feet.

"Oh yeah," Sillen nodded emphatically. "And you know how jealous Ares gets. Even with all the girls he has now he always needs one more."

Maggie was standing behind Strife gesturing wildly. Making a cutting motion across her throat and mouthing 'be quiet' several times.

"Well that certainly explains your reaction after you ran off like that," he said, turning to Maggie, who quickly put her arms behind her back and smiled innocently.

"Reaction??" Sillen and Emily asked in unison.

I'm going to kill them. Maggie thought to herself. So help me Zeus, I'm going to throttle them the next chance I get.

"What are you talking about?" Maggie asked Strife, still looking as innocent as she could.

"Oh come on! You know what I'm talking about," Strife said still turned around.

"What is he talking about?" Emily asked. Strife turned around to face Sillen and Emily, who was trying hard not to laugh, and looked at them.

"Well, she first kicked me in the stomach and ran off. Then when I found her she like, totally threw herself at me and hugged me."

"Emily," whispered Sillen, "he didn't say anything about the lip print thing on his head."

"I'm sorry Sillen!" Emily whispered, laughing just slightly,."If I talk too much, I'll start laughing really hard."

Strife left again for a minute. Maggie marched up to Emily and Sillen and was about to scream at them except that she decided to wait until Strife couldn't hear. "What in the name of Tartarus do you think you're saying?" she asked. Emily started giggling, hard, making Maggie want to slap her so badly.

"Shut up Ems, Strife will hear you!" Sillen said, elbowing her hard in the stomach, which only caused her to laugh harder.

"I'm so-giggle-sor-giggle-sorry!"

"Oooooooookay, what's going on?" Strife asked coming back in. Emily immediately hushed up.

"I SWEAR ARES! HE'S NOT HERE!" Cassia said rather loudly, Diana shaking her head.

"If you're sure, than we might want to check the woods," Ares said.

"Nothing Strife." Emily said as innocently as possible. "Why?"

Strife eyed her. "What's so funny? And, shut up already!"

"Can't. Not possible for me." Emily smiled.

Strife rolled his eyes. "Duh, I know that," he said shaking his head.

Emily turned to Sillen mouthing what he said with a weird face, causing Sillen to cover her mouth keeping out the giggles.

"HEY!" Cassia yelled, "Maybe he's in that cave!"

"Let's check it out!" Diana said turning to Cassia.

"Oooooooh!" Strife said, facing the wall of the cave. "I swear, one more word out of you and--"

"WOO HOO!" Emily yelled leaping to her feat and pointing towards the mouth of the cave. Only Sillen and Maggie looked.

"Finally!" Sillen whispered. "Ares is finally here!"

Strife started to turn towards Emily. "EMILY! Oh, hi Ares. WOULD YOU SHUT--ARES?" he said turning back to the door. He waved just slightly, looking very frightened. Strife was panicking, he quickly looked around for escape.

"Not this time." Ares said, as he grabbed Strife by the arm and dragged him out of the cavern.

"How do you like it?!" Maggie yelled at him as they all followed Ares outside.

Ares and Strife were up ahead. "So, is it all over now?" Sillen whispered. "Do we just change everything back to normal, and hope that Strife finally realizes it was all just a joke?"

"I don't think it's going to be that easy," Emily replied. "Strife's already convinced that he's in some other dimension."

"And now we have to convince him that he's back where he belongs," Maggie added.

Cassia spoke up. "Speaking of dimensions, when Diana and I where back at the temple with Ares, he said he was going to take a look at the basement, do you think he found the portal?"

Back in the temple, Strife stood by the wall looking only slightly scared now, and somewhat annoyed. Ares stood beside him, still tightly grasping his arm. They were both silent; all of Ares attempts to communicate with Strife had been less than successful.

"We can definitely cross out getting Ares to talk some sense into him," Sillen said, glancing over at Strife from across the room. "How does one cross dimensions anyway, well, besides leaping into ominous portals?"

"It happens on a warm, clear, dark, silent night, when the full moon is peering out from the mist," Emily answered, in a serious, yet mocking tone. "The wind howls and the thunder roars...."

"....and everything's covered with frost," Maggie chimed in.

Emily continued: "Yes the frost; and then some one will be just walking by and BANG! There you go, the next dimension!"

"Cute," Cassia said flatly, not in the mood for jokes at this point.

"Hey, I just got an idea!" Sillen shouted, and quickly lowered her voice, not wanting Strife to hear.

"It doesn't have anything to do with furniture on the ceiling does it?" Maggie asked.

"No no no, it goes like this, Ares and Strife go outside, wandering, we quickly change everything back how it's suppose to be, and then Ares tells Strife that he'll make a invisible portal in the temple doorway which will take him home. Ares disappears, and when Strife comes back inside, we'll just say, 'Strifey, where have you been!' and he'll think he's home again, well as long as we can quickly get rid of ALL the evidence, especially earrings. So, what do you think?" Sillen asked eagerly.

"Fine. Good. Whatever gets this place back to normal," Cassia said tersely.

"Ohh Ares?" Emily sung out. "Could you come here for just a sec??"

The God of War gave his nephew a glare akin to Medusa's. "Watch him," he ordered Maggie.

"Me?? Why...?" she protested, even as Ares pushed her into Strife. She wobbled slightly on her feet but for once managed to remain standing.

"Hi there," Strife preened, trying to look debonair.

"Hi," Maggie said crossly, folding her arms.

"So," Strife said, being the master of subtlety, "you have the red hots for me." It was more of a statement then a question.

"No," she replied flatly.

"Come on, I saw the looks you were giving me in the woods."

"You mean the ones that said 'If you don't let go of my arm right now I'm gonna sink my teeth into your ankle'? Those looks?"

"I love it when they play hard to get," he said smoothly, sliding behind her and slipping his arms around hers, giving her a squeeze.

"Knock it off," she hissed, a little louder then she had meant.

Ares turned with a frown. "Do you want to get back to your pathetic bootlicking life or not?"

"I suppose," the Godling said, ducking behind the priestess a little.

"Then stop manhandling your---My---follower."

"That's your problem. Everyone and everything belongs to you. Did you ever stop to think that maybe this cutie has the freedom of choice?"

"Cutie?!" she seethed.

"Funny Strife, you only seem interested in freedom of choice when it directly benefits you."

"Well maybe it's because I've grown up to be petty and selfish. Just like my dear Uncle."

Ares lunged forward with a growl, but suddenly found himself covered in priestesses, Sillen and Ems each grabbing an arm, Cassia restraining him by the waist, and Di on his back, her arms around his neck.

"Ares," they warned. "No. Bad. No kill. No maim."

"What are you doing?!" Maggie protested.

"I've always wanted to say that to him," Strife grinned. "Besides, I'm insuring he's gong to send me home. Who wants to keep around somebody as irritating as me?"

"Your priestesses," she said softly, barely a whisper. If he heard her he didn't let on, he was too busy trying to conceal himself behind her unimpressive frame as Ares stalked over.

"I think I should send you home now," Ares said in a tightly controlled voice.

"Yessir," Strife said meekly, ducking around the other side of the priestess, giving her a wink before following Ares out the door.

The instant the priestesses heard the wooden outer doors slam shut they burst into a flurry of activity. Tearing down curtains, getting rid of weaponry and reinstating the old decor, all the while changing out of their outfits and removing each others' makeup. Di and Cassia hurried around the temple making sure everything was in its rightful place while the remaining three priestesses dragged in Strife's prized leopard skin couch.

Sillen's head shot up suddenly, as they were just starting to dispose of the wooden throne. "Did you hear that?" she asked nervously.

"Sounded like the main doors," Emily said, biting her lip.

"Damn," Maggie swore. "We still need to get this piece of garbage out of here."

"Don't panic," Sillen thought aloud. "Just don't panic. We can think of something quick enough. We're smart."

"I know," Ems said. "We can distract him while one of us gets the chair out of here."

"I'll drag it out," Maggie volunteered. "I screwed this prank up in the first place. I might as well try to fix it."

"Are you sure you can move this thing? It took three of us the first time."

"Yeah, Sure. Go go. I can handle it. I am strong like bull!" she said in a horrendous accent. "Smart like tractor," she added to herself when Emily and Sillen had left.

Strife rubbed his eyes, trying to make the white haze go away. Maybe he shouldn't have ranted at Ares like that. He didn't recall such a brilliant flash of white light when he'd sent himself to a parallel universe.

Once the stars had subsided enough for him to be able to see his hands in front of him, he cautiously headed up the temple steps. He heard hushed conversation and frowned; wasn't this how the first mishap had taken off? Pushing the heavy temple doors open he didn't get more then three feet past the entrance before he was pounced upon, sending him reeling onto his backside.

"Hiya Strifey! Didja miss us?" Emily asked, arms around his waist.

"We missed you!" Sillen gushed, hugging his shoulder in a death grip.

"Hi girls," he said, gently pushing them off him so he could breathe again. "Long time. No see."

"Cass and Di are gonna be so surprised! We didn't expect you home until nightfall."

"Where are Diana and Cassia anyway?" he asked suspiciously.

"Cooking and cleaning. We were preparing a banquet for you," Emily told him, smiling so hard her teeth started to hurt.

"A banquet?"

"You know. A feast. A large celebratory meal," Sillen explained.

"I know what a banquet is. I just didn't expect you guys to be so nice to me since I've been neglect-away for so long," he amended.

"Awww...Strife we still love ya."

"You're the man!"

"I am aren't I?" He squared his shoulders and slicked his hair back. "Gals, lemme know when dinner's on. I'm going to go take a nap on my couch. I'm beat."

The priestesses flinched inwardly.

"No. No. Not yet." Ems grabbed his arm.

"We have...things...to show you," Sillen added.

"Things?"

"Oh yes! Marvelous wonderful things!"

"Fantastic awe-inspiring things! Oh the things we have to show you!"

"Later. Promise." He yawned. "I'll appreciate them more after I've rested up a bit." And before the girls could detain him further he marched into the throne room.

"Manohmanohman I hope Maggie got that throne out of there."

Ems cringed. "I can't watch."

"Lets go see how Cass and Di are fairing."

"Good plan."

"Stupid chair," Maggie grunted, pushing the throne with all her might. "Why won't you make this easy?" Upon hearing purposeful footsteps entering the room, she whirled, knocking the unwieldy piece of wood onto its side. Thrown off balance by the chair that suddenly wasn't there, she fell back and soon joined the furniture on the floor. "Why me?" she whimpered, lying on the cold stone floor, feet thrown over the armrest.

Standing just inside the doorway, Strife arched an eyebrow. From where he was standing he could see the bottom of a battered wooden high-backed chair and a pair of feet. "Do I even want to know?"

She pushed herself up so her feet touched the ground and her legs hung over the armrest, her face barely visible behind her knees. "Umm...Hi."' She gave a little wave of her hand, silently thanking the Gods that the other priestesses had had the foresight to get rid of the tablecloth that had covered the throne in "Evil Ares" temple.

"We found this piece of garbage lying around and I figured since it was no good I'd just drag it in and use it as kindling. You know, big warm homecoming fire. Silly me," she laughed nervously. "No fireplace in this room."

The Godling took her hand and helped her to her feet. "It's not such a bad piece of work," he said, "and we do need a new chair for the dining hall."

Maggie stared at him in shock. Strife? Being polite and understanding? Being diplomatic? The horror!

With just two fingers he righted the chair, Maggie glowering at it behind his back. "It looks comfortable enough," he thought aloud, brushing some dust off it.

"Oh it feels horrible! All hard and splintery. It's murder on your back too."

"It's fine," Strife pshawed, going to sit down.

"You know, I really don't think you should..."

There was an earsplitting crack and the chair's seat snapped in two.

"...Sit in that."

The four priestesses were just heading back to the throne room when they heard the noise.

"Oh my Gods, he's killed her," Di deadpanned.

"He wouldn't kill her... just shock her with a lightning bolt or two."

"Or three. Or six."

"You don't think he would have blasted her. Do you?" Ems asked nervously.

"Of course not...I hope not," Sillen said unsurely.

They looked at one another for a moment before breaking into a run.

"I don't believe it," Di chuckled, upon seeing Strife sprawled on the floor in a daze, chair bits strewn everywhere. "A god taken down by a Chippendale."

"I *told* you that seat looked bad," Sillen chided.

Cassia shrugged. "What'd you expect last minute? Hand-carved marble?"

"Is he okay?" Emily asked, looking down on the God in concern.

"Yeah, he's just a bit...confused," Maggie said waving a hand in front of his face. "How many fingers, babe?"

"Green." Strife grinned stupidly.

"Hoo-boy. That's not good."

With only a minor struggle they hoisted him up onto his couch. "I think he's lost weight," Diana muttered.

"All that army food probably. That'll put anybody off eating," Cassia said, wiping some sweat off her brow.

"Come on Strife, Wakey wakey," Sillen urged, biting on her lower lip.

Maggie fanned air in his face. "Dangit all Strife. Why couldn't you listen to me for just once?"

The Godling blinked several times. "Auntie Ems?"

"Auntie??" Emily exclaimed.

His eyes cleared up a little. "I was having the oddest dream. And you were there, and you, and you, and you," he pointed to each priestess in turn. "And you had the hots for me." Maggie turned crimson, as Strife pointed to her.

"Dream?" Cassia whispered. "This turned out better then we'd hoped." She and Di covertly started sweeping chair pieces out into the hall and putting them in the 'to burn' bucket.

"Well," Sillen sighed, " I guess this should be filed under the 'blessing in disguise' category."

"I reckon so."

Strife sat up, rubbing his aching head, some sort of black substance came off on his fingers. "What's this?"

"Nothing!" the priestesses insisted, spitting on handkerchiefs and wiping hid forehead ferociously.

"You want anything Strifeykins?" Maggie asked, patting his arm comfortingly. *So much for self-respect*, she thought to herself.

He smiled dreamily. "Grapes. Hand-fed."

And so much for him treating us with dignity and respect. "Sure, anything for you...pudding," she added with a cringe. She supposed this could count as her punishment. On the off chance he did find out what really happened she could claim she'd already done her time.

"There's no place like the temple," she said and, sighing heavily, headed for the kitchen.