| Bind Up My Life Villains Lovers and Fools Page 16 |
| Checks and Balances The fear of death grips him by the throat The heart beats faster, the breath more shallow He saw its face two years and a coronary by-pass ago It haunts his dreams This fear of dying�. And then of course There is a reflection on life- His life, and its disappointments The missed opportunities The failed attempts And the subsequent despair- Always the subsequent and inevitable despair, The howling in the night. We have these little sessions Every other month or so�. I used to have compassion� I sympathized and consoled. But not today. Today, I am tired and impatient. Today I tell him It comes to us all Why waste precious time worrying about it? The quicker and more complete, the better Today, I tell him�.. They, the living and breathing, They will tell you to put up the good fight They will tell you not to give in To that old Grim Reaper Yes fight it with all your might But today, I ask him this: Do you want to linger in a hospital Smelling yourself rot Catheter crammed up the penis Or colostomy bag slapping at your side? Lying there contemplating that ledger of sins? Or worse, the mind to mush Forever whining to go home, mommy�? No, one massive-coronary-fall-on-the-floor for me� Let somebody else clean up the mess And be done with me� And what of that ledger? What is your crime? Mediocrity, nothing more- A life lived to less than its potential. Yes, a crime, but in the scheme of things Not such a big one. And one of which we are all guilty�. If the Buddhists have their way You�ll have a chance to rectify it soon enough If not, well, you can prostrate yourself before Your Christian God and beg forgiveness As he marks your checks and balances� |
I pause and wonder about this God What does he make of humanity After all these years? Consider the weakest creature in the jungle Give him opposable thumbs, cognitive thought And a perpendicular disposition Now�..Let�s see what happens! Does he take periodic readings In this experiment of US? Does he follow a scientific method? I watch the faces in the cars that pass As I wait for the light to change- As I consider this fear of dying�. Stupid, self-absorbed faces Eating their French fries Talking on their plastic phones Making their deals Correcting their children- All being good civic citizens Connected to another civic citizen And another and another An endless spider web of civilization�. A web cluttered with carcasses The flotsam and jetsam Of those that didn�t get away�.. Didn�t follow the plan Didn�t believe in the corporate man� And there in the middle God sits surveying his landscape� Or webscape if you will�. If I were God, I would admit It looked a lot better on paper, I would cut my losses, And blow us all up Into the great void Of failed experiments�. Like I said, I�m tired and impatient�. Good thing I�m not God, huh? |
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