Cosmo was awake. Not wide awake, but awake. Semi-darkness surrounded him, punctuated by pools of absolute darkness in the corners of the bedroom. His gaze came back from the dark room to the man he was sharing a bed with. Not just a bed. A life. Love. Everything. Cosmo smiled.
Ace was asleep. The perfect time to just sit and gaze at him, admire the beauty of his body. Ace was a beautiful man, handsome, attractive..... and Cosmo couldn't get enough of him. He wanted to touch his body, feel the powerful muscles under the smooth skin, taste his lips. So much he wanted to do, so much he wanted to give. Their relationship was based on giving and taking, and Cosmo always felt like Ace contributed more than he did himself. Ace was older, more experienced, even if not in the same sex relationship department, he was the magician..... That Cosmo was developing his own magical skills meant nothing. He was still the apprentice.
Then again.... not just the apprentice. Neither of them had a specific part in this relationship. Ace liked to have control of their bed antics, but Cosmo had had his little control successes as well. He knew what would get Ace to surrender, and he used it now and then. Still, he didn't mind being the one controlled. Ace was such a wonderful lover......
Cosmo's eyes roamed over the muscular chest, briefly hovering at the places where scars marred the perfection. Unconsciously, he reached out and carefully touched the uneven plasma burn, shivering. He had been present when the shot had hit Ace, when it had torn into the vulnerable flesh. So much pain. So many injuries. So much suffering. There was one very ugly scar on Ace's back, one where he didn't know where he had gotten it from. It stretched over his back, appeared old, and it looked like a deep cut....
Ace moved sleepily as Cosmo ran a hand over the shoulder wound, but he didn't wake. Cosmo smiled again, attention now on the relaxed face. He appeared so young in his sleep.... barely older than maybe his mid-twenties. Ace was in his early thirties, but his body and mind were much younger. The white stripes did nothing to that, giving him a mysterious but not older look.
Mysterious.
Heck, yeah.
When he had first met the older man, Cosmo had been drawn between fear, awe and general disinterest. The disinterest had been played, the awe and fear had been real. Very real. Ace was such a powerful and intimidating presence.... and a sexual one as well, a part of his mind added.
He grinned.
Yup, that as well. But back then, it hadn't been a topic. Today... man, he couldn't let go of him! Even if he wouldn't be empathetically linked to Ace, the sexual sensation would be the same. Ace satisfied his needs in a way no one else had ever done. His hands, his mouth, his mere presence..... Cosmo licked his lips, aware of his body's arousal.
Ace turned slightly, rolling around, and the blanket slipped off down his hips. Cosmo's eyes fixed on the inviting view, then were drawn to the scar. It was a bit darker than Ace's pale skin, jagged, and if he looked closely, there two much fainter lines as well. Cosmo ran a hand over the mark, feeling the slight unevenness.
Ace's eyes fluttered open and Cosmo smiled.
"Morning," he whispered.
Ace stretched and turned, looking at him. A slight frown appeared on his features. He was quick to pick up on Cosmo's mood and Cosmo cursed himself.
"What's wrong?" the older man asked.
"Nothing."
"Cosmo, please...."
"I don't want to... intrude," Cosmo managed, evading the gray gaze.
A smile graced Ace's lips. "You know you can ask whatever you want, Cosmo...."
He shook his head. "No.... not that."
When Ace kept on looking at him this way, Cosmo sighed.
"It's... I was wondering. The scar on your back...."
Ace's eyes suddenly held an expression that told Cosmo more than any words that he had really touched a topic he shouldn't have brought up. Why hadn't he just guarded his expression? Damn! Ace turned and stared at the wall, back turned to Cosmo. The younger man noted tensing muscles and he ran a hand over the tight back.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't want this to hurt you..... you don't have to tell me."
"It happened a long time ago," Ace suddenly said, voice even. "When I was still with Jack Malone's gang."
Cosmo didn't say anything, noting the rising tension in his friend's shoulders. He left his hand on his back, feeling the muscles jump.
"Ace, you don't have to...." he started.
Ace shook his head, swallowing. "It's been so long...."
There was a brief silence and Cosmo heard the ragged intake of breath.
"I was new," the older man then continued. "And a thorn in the side of the hard core gang members. One them was called....Raise." His voice wobbled and Cosmo rubbed his shoulder. "He wasn't a hulking figure or even very imposing. Thin, looked like a rat... but even Spade and Diamond evaded him as best as possible. He... liked to experiment with weapons. All kinds. And.... he tried them out." Another stifled breath. Ace's shoulder shook more.
Cosmo continued rubbing his naked back, unable to think of something to say. He didn't know about most of Ace's past in Blackjack's gang, except the more prominent bits, so this was a real surprise to hear.
"At that time, the electro whips came out. He modified one. Repeatedly. It was something much more dangerous now." Fingers clenched into the blanket. "He was drunk or drugged or both when I ran into him. I didn't like him, no one did, and Raise detested me. He simply exploded, called me all kinds of names.... and he had the whip."
Ace trembled now and Cosmo wished he had never asked.
"He tried it out on me. I.... can't remember what happened later, but the pain.... It cut into my skin, my back, it ..." He faltered. "I... I know I cried for help.... and someone came. After that...." He hiccuped, shaking badly. "I woke in the hospital. Three days later. It had been touch and go. One of Jack's trusted doctors was treating me. I was critical for a while, I had lost a lot of blood, and since two of my ribs were broken, he must have mistreated me after the whipping as well. I don't remember it. I only remember the whip...." His voice caught again.
Cosmo instinctively wrapped his arms around the larger man, pressing a gentle kiss onto his neck.  "Shhhh...." he whispered.
Ace gave a dry sob. "Blackjack was furious," he whispered, voice unsteady.  "Only later did I find out that Raise had attacked Mona as well when she had interfered. She... didn't get hurt, but she was bruised a bit. Blackjack declared Raise a free for all hit, and he took off. I don't know if they actually got him or if he's still running free." He trembled more again.
Cosmo hugged him close, arms wrapped around his waist, kissing his shoulder again.  "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Ace swallowed several times, shaking his head. "No, don't be.... it's.... it's been a long time."
"You still feel the pain," Cosmo murmured.
Ace was silent, breathing harder than normal, and Cosmo just held him.
"I shouldn't have asked," Cosmo said after a while.
"You had the right to ask," Ace answered softly.
Cosmo nuzzled his neck. Ace exhaled softly, leaning head back as Cosmo gently ran his hands over the washboard stomach.
"But I had no right to make you recall all this suffering."
"I told you... it's an old pain. I have to get over it."
Cosmo lifted himself on his elbows and gently kissed his lover, feeling him open up, slowly answering the questing lips. Ace rolled onto his back and Cosmo found himself in the perfect position. He slid onto the taller man's body, renewing the kiss. Ace responded, reaching for his partner, but Cosmo caught the questing hands and pinned them left and right of his head. Ace moaned softly.
Cosmo let go of the delicious lips and looked Ace in the eyes, searching for traces of the painful past. They simmered beneath the gray surface, the expressive eyes unable to hide it. For a brief moment, he felt murder rise inside him at the thought of the man who had done this to Ace, who had left scars on his soul. Then he squelched the feelings.
"It's okay, Cosmo," Ace whispered.
Cosmo let go of Ace's wrists and snuggled close to him, cheek pressed against the broad chest. Ace embraced him, placing a kiss onto his hair.
"Thanks for being here," he murmured.
"Always."