Top-N Last Words of Princess Diana
(drumroll, please...)
1. Watch out for that **SMASH**.
Submitted: Tec42([email protected])
2. Faster, Dodi! Faster!!!
Submitted: Tec42([email protected])
3. I said when we bought the bloody car, "Let's get the extra airbag
option." But no, they wouldn't listen to me. "It's just Di spouting
off again". Bloody cheapskate royal family...
Submitted: Tec42([email protected])
4. At last, an escape from those damn paparazzi.
Submitted: Tec42([email protected])
5. Calgon take me away!
Submitted: Tec42([email protected])
6. Shit. I bet this means I'm gonna miss Seinfeld this week.
Submitted: Tec42([email protected])
7. Oh no, not again.
Submitted: Tec42([email protected])
8. Um, I'm not trying to be a prude or anything, but I think this is in
kind of bad taste.
Submitted: Bytch
9. #8: Yeah, it was a tough call. New list... bad taste... new list...
bad taste... Hell, there's been worse lists than this. Time for a new
list.
Submitted: Tec42(lost@c)
10. I'm not quite dead yet...
Submitted: Wookie 1(Honorary Knight of Ni)
11. Thay, leth all talk like Jingthter.
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
12. ever read the postings of Iq42? He makes me think of suicide.
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
13. charles, schmarles.
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
14. 4 palace guards and the Queen Mum are standing at the pearly gates.
St. Peter says...
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
15. 2 words describe him: lame and humorless.
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
16. Shields up!
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
17. Uh-oh.
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
18. Charles lame and humorless? Oh my know, I was discussing Iq42.
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
19. Kip, that's what I'll call you. It's so much more manly than Dodi.
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
20. Smashing!
Submitted: Sammy the Bull([email protected])
21. # 15 The same two words apply to this list.
Submitted: Color Me Silly
22. Why do I feel like George of the Jungle just now?
Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portlan,d ORegon)
23. My god, it's full of stars!
Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portlan,d ORegon)
24. *Putting hands over the driver's eyes* Guess who!
Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portlan,d ORegon)
25. Roland, lose these assholes.
Submitted: Bozo the Clown([email protected])
26. (Roland): Mr Dodi. I forget. Which is accelerator and which is brake?
Submitted: Bozo the Clown([email protected])
27. (Roland): No maam, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Submitted: Bozo the Clown([email protected])
28. Oh Roland, which Kennedy did you say taught you how to drive?
Submitted: Bozo the Clown([email protected])
29. What do you mean I'm being pursued by pavarotti?
Submitted: ChAoS
30. "Di" is finally about to live up to her name.
Submitted: Psych 101(you only live once)
31. Even I, THE IMMORTAL MASTER, would not dream of making this list!
Submitted: THE DISGUSTED MASTER
32. Faster, Faster!! Oh YES, MASTER, YES!!!! FASTER!!!! YES!! YES, MASTER,
YES!!!
Submitted: THE KINGLY MASTER
33. Uh oh, that Jinxster person is after me again! Go faster!
Submitted: The Rat([email protected])
34. Mr. Roland, are you SURE that playing 500 hours of "cruisin' USA"
qualifies you as a chauffeur?
Submitted: The Rat([email protected])
35. They'll move out of the way for me, I'm the Princess!
Submitted: The Rat([email protected])
36. #30 - It may scare you to know this, but that's the first thing that
came to my mind when I heard she'd been in an accident. That's right,
you're thinking exactly like *me*. Be afraid.
Submitted: Just Me
37. #8 - Well, Di was pretty low on my list of people I'd like to see
dead, but I'm really kinda apathetic about the whole thing.
Submitted: Just Me
38. Ow, my head!
Submitted: Just Me
39. Whaddya mean we're being chased by photographers on unicycles? .....
Oh, you mean motor----- SMASH!!
Submitted: Just Me
40. #36:#8: Yes, this list is in incredibly poor taste. I feel very
ashamed for contributing to it. That being said...
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@france)
41. #36: That's interesting, because the first thing that came to my mind
was a perfect sleazy tabloid headline: "Lady Died"...
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@france)
42. and, of course, the first thing through Diana's mind was the
windshield...
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@france)
43. The Bag Brothers are starting to enjoy Dingle Floyd's sense of humor,
drole as it is.
Submitted: The Bag Brothers
44. Tasteless. Very tasteless. Have you people no shame? No consciences?
The world has just lost a truly wonderful person, and all you can do
is make tacky "humourous" lists about it! You should all be ashamed of
yourselves.
Submitted: Jinxster(disgusted.of.mile.end.london)
45. #33: Watch it. Or you're next...
Submitted: Jinxster(disgusted.of.mile.end.london)
46. Incidentally, I've heard a distressing rumour that Mike Bray's quit
his job at UCF and that they're going to close down Top-N!!!! Panic!!
Submitted: Jinxster(disgusted.of.mile.end.london)
47. Don't get any in my hair Dody!!
Submitted: The Tubb People
48. Please don't smoke in my car.
Submitted: The Tubb People
49. Boy am I glad my mother made me put clean underwear on this morning.
Submitted: The Tubb People
50. OH SHIT!!!! My underwear isn't clean anymore!!!
Submitted: The Tubb People
51. Now everyone will see my tatoo and pierced nipples
Submitted: The Tubb People
52. #43: Not to start another flame war, but you have no idea how much it
scares me to hear you say that. By the way, if you're going to
compliment me, would you mind spelling my name correctly?
Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home)
53. Follow the white light...
Submitted: Piss Ant
54. Is that beer I smell on your breath?
Submitted: Piss Ant
55. #44, I totally agree with you. It is terrible to make a joke over such
a great person's death.
Submitted: Coke Princess([email protected])
56. #46 That's not funny Jinxster.
Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portlan,d Oregon)
57. #46 - Especially since the rumor your heard is about a month old, and
since Mike's a grad student, I'm not worrying too much about it.
Submitted: Just Me
58. #55 - How many JFK jokes have you made lately?
Submitted: Just Me
59. Or RFK jokes for that matter.
Submitted: Merely I
60. Faster, Dodi! Kill! Kill!
Submitted: Jean-Pierre
61. #58 - What did JFK say when he first heard the gunshots in Dealey
Plaza? "I need this like a hole in the head!"
Submitted: Arrowhead
62. What was JFK's favourite song? "I lost my head in Dallas Texas, upon
the street I heard my brain go *splat*...."
Submitted: Arrowhead
63. Which President died on November 22, 1963? "That's a no-brainer!"
Submitted: Arrowhead
64. Bring back the Rubbish Jokes list -- I don't have anywhere else to put
'em!
Submitted: Arrowhead
65. #44 What did you expect? Sensitivitiy? From THIS crowd?
Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portlan,d ORegon)
66. Next thing you know, there will be a list just like this for Mother
Teresa, and god will smite us all!!
Submitted: Bytch
67. I hope that didn't give anyone any ideas...
Submitted: Bytch
68. How about, "Top-N reasons why Mother Theresa is going to heavan"
Submitted: Merely I
69. "Come on Dodi, it won't kill you to ask the driver to lose these
cocksucking photographers. Please????"
Submitted: anonymous
70. Roland: "Whaddya mean I'm not getting a raise Dodi, you cheap
bastard???" SCREEEEE--- BAM!!!!
Submitted: anonymous
71. Remember the red button I told you to NEVER push??? PUSH IT!!!!
Submitted: anonymous
72. Don't you think we should buckle our seat be--- SCREEECH!!!
Submitted: Piss Ant
73. Right Full Rudder!
Submitted: Starflyer
74. #73: reverse starboard engine!
Submitted: Bytch(@red.october.com)
75. All of you that disagree with this page are entirely correct but every
major figure in history has had their name drug threw the mud and has
to recover. Yes, it is in poor taste to make such a list but if it
wasn't done today it would be done tomorrow so we all might as well
just deal with it or ignore it and as the pain of losing Diana goes
away so will these tasteless jokes!!!
Submitted: Sense Maker([email protected])
76. #75 Begone! Sense and reason have no place upon top-n.
Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon)
77. #76 Amen!!!! Now pull my finger!
Submitted: The Mad Farter
78. At least Elton John should have written a new song...the old one will
ALWAYS be about Marilyn!
Submitted: Bubba Longturd
79. "Hey driver! Pass that bottle back here!"
Submitted: BigGulp
80. "Warp speed Mr. Sulu!"
Submitted: BigGulp
81. "Dodi, I'm not sure we should be watching that 'Crash' movie."
Submitted: BigGulp
82. "Do it again, do it again!"
Submitted: BigGulp
83. "Oh, that smarts. I hate when this happens."
Submitted: BigGulp
84. this is a sick fucking list. all of you must have gotten thses ideas
from the tabloids you subscribe to
Submitted: angrywhitemale
85. This list isn't tasteless, and Di's death wasn't tragic. I really
resent that Mother Teresa's death is being overshadowed by Di's. Screw
Di, I say!
Submitted: MoonSong
86. #85: AMEN!
Submitted: The Rat([email protected])
87. "Open the pod bay doors, please, Hal"
Submitted: Arrowhead
88. "ABANDON SHIP! ALL HANDS TO THE LIFEBOATS!!"
Submitted: Arrowhead
89. "Engage!"
Submitted: Arrowhead
90. #36: That IS pretty damn scary.
Submitted: Psych 101
91. #84 - It seems really out of place for someone like *you* to be saying
something like *that*.
Submitted: Just Me
92. I'd like to think that her last words weren't, "Gee, I hope that my
impending death won't cause another huge media blitz and overshadow
Mother Teresa's charitable efforts to help the unfortunate."
Submitted: MoonSong
93. #91: Well, even the worst skinhead, neo-nazi thug in the East End
looks up to the Royal Family. Although they are British and awm is
not. Strange... Still it makes a change for me and awm to be in
agreement. Has he turned over a new leaf, perhaps? Nah. He'd never do
that.
Submitted: Jinxster
94. AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHcrunch....
Submitted: the irish avenger([email protected])
95. is that wall coming at us at an alarmingly fast rate or is it my
imagination?
Submitted: the irish avenger([email protected])
96. I'd give my soul to DIABLO if these people will leave me alone!(I took
her up on it!)
Submitted: Diablo(@Hell)
97. Hey! What happened to the surreal list?
Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon)
98. #93 Funny, I was under the impression that the Royal Family (aside
from Di) was considered an embarrassment and a joke?
Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon)
99. (this entry is only takin' up space so that my next one is #100)
Submitted: the FALCON
100. I AM THE FALCON!! (it beats me, even i don't know why she said it)
Submitted: the FALCON
101. #98: The institution is. But some of the individuals within it are OK.
Anyway, your average East End neo-nazi thug hasn't the intelligence to
know otherwise...
Submitted: Jinxster
102. I can't do you all at once, someone has to drive...
Submitted: George([email protected])
103. Wow I didn't know you could do that while you were driving...
Submitted: George([email protected])
104. What do you mean get off, it feels great... Oh I forgot you were
driving...
Submitted: George([email protected])
105. Why take my skirt off... Oh you can't see to drive...
Submitted: George([email protected])
106. That goes on you penis not your head; can you see alright with that
on???
Submitted: George([email protected])
107. leave me alone, leave me alone
Submitted: Chuka-Trok & Molly Maid([email protected])
108. WHERE"S THE BEEF??
Submitted: Wendy(I DUNO)
109. Oy!!! I've a bumper stuck in me bum!!!!
Submitted: anonymous
110. oh why did you wake me? i was in a wonderful place with sulfur and
brimsone and guys with pitchforks poking me in the ass.
Submitted: l0de([email protected])
111. To paramedics: here's 50 bucks. no one must know I am really Dick
Clark.
Submitted: l0de([email protected])
112. To tell the truth her last words were probably "oh" snd "shit"
Submitted: l0de([email protected])
113. OK, guys. I think it's time we left Diana alone and let her rest in
peace. Hell, we should've left her alone from the beginning. She was a
great humanitarian of her time. :)
Submitted: Psych 101(Sarcasm is a great thing, ain't it?)
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This list started by Tec42(sorrytoseehergo)
Last updated: Mon 15 Sep 97 11:42:04
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