Obey your master!
For some reason I no longer mind being almost completely isolated from the outside world here at college because the more I hear from people, the less confidence that I have that humanity will not wipe itself out of existence due to using blowdryers in the shower or from any other number of mind-bogglingly stupid reasons (for more examples read the Darwin Awards). Apparently the latest stupidity comes from the mouths of politicians. I realize that this is nothing new, but even these people have to realize they sound stupid. The latest stream of idiocies alleges that President Bush has somehow discovered the way to summon hurricanes at will and send them around the coast lines to do his bidding (much like the puppet master from the J.C. Penny Commercials).
Anyways, as I was saying, these men (I'm sure there are others too) have somehow come to the conclusion that natural disasters such as the recent hurricanes here in the gulf area are actually the elaborate work of the Bush administration. I'm not sure how they come to that conclusion outside of the fact that, once again, they are total morons but that's already been established. Apparently the reason for this is because of Bush's lax policies considering the fairy-tale of global-warming. Get a clue people, global warming is completely and utterly absurd and affects the poles, not the frickin' gulf of frickin' Mexico. That's a modest several thousand miles out of the way. Besides, no proof of the ice caps melting due to any thing even remotely resembling global warming has been thoroughly proven. It's about as realistic as a hole in the ozone layer which common science can prove is total garbage as well. There is no hole in the ozone layer, there never has been a hole in the ozone layer, and there never will be a hole in the ozone layer. It's crap. It isn't real and neither is global warming.
So anyways, as I was saying, apparently Bush's policy on global warming is the cause of the Hurricanes. Why? I have no idea but apparently that's why. In fact Mr. Farrakahn has gone so far as to accuse President Bush not only because of his environmental policies but because we haven't seen one hit Texas. Obviously Bush is behind this because he doesn't want anything to happen to his precious state full of white people (insert rant about not whining about racism and getting over it, ad nauseum). If you notice the above graphic of Bush the puppet master, the eastern coast of Texas including some land inward from the coast will be getting pounded by Hurricane Rita. I'll bet it's all a cover up right? Farrakahn has also stated that Bush is responsible for blowing up the levees so he could flood Louisiana probably for the reason of whiping out thousands of innocent people mostly because they are black. Do you remember that list I have of people I wouldn't mind seeing the government silence? Well Farrakahn is rapidly rising the ranks. Somebody needs to shut this man up as well as the other morons that promote these asinine theories. I suppose the next theory will be that the reason so many hurricanes are missing the Florida panhandle is because Jeb Bush is in cahoots (is that how it's spelled) with his brother and that the massive warm front all around Pensacola and the panhandle is because deep underground there are massive heat generators and other machines to jack up the pressure system thus steering the hurricanes towards Louisiana for the purpose of ethnic cleansing.
In conclusion, allow me to give my definition of a natural disaster:
Natural Disaster: A disaster which occures in nature (i.e, hurricane, typhoon, tornado, tsunami, earthquake, etc.) which is unable to be controlled by mankind no matter who is in charge of the government of the country or countries in which the disaster or disasters occur. [The apparent exception to this is George W. Bush who apparently has devolped the god-like ability of controlling weather from the war room. Nobody knows how this developed but Sen. Ted Kennedy, during one of his many drunken stupors, claimed that he saw President Bush reading from The Necronomicon on top of the White House last year around Halloween. Sen. Kennedy promised that he was only slightly less wasted than usual but was definitely not making up his alcohol induced hallucination]. These disasters occur naturally and usually in cycles. The only way to avoid a natural disaster is to get out of the way if at all possible (an example of this is to not stay in a city which is below sea level when a category 5 hurricane approaches and the levees are in utter disrepair).Believe it or not that is the actual definition in the lastest revision of Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. If you don't mind now I'm going to go back into isolation and hope that the radiation from my laptop doesn't kill me. Although if I keep hearing about stupidity like this that may not be a bad idea. Ah, sweet oblivion.
