I'm sure that down the road the winners of "Best Liplock" (who I believe were Rachel McAdams and Some Other Guy) will look back with pride at the fact that thousands of pre-pubescent girls, whose only concept of romance is what they read in their mom�s Cosmopolitan, voted them the winners of best Movie Lip-lock. It will be a proud day for them and their families I�m sure. The scary part is that these kids are the future of our country and the world for that matter. Maybe if we kill all of the kids who voted for these awards, then we would stand a better chance of not having the world run by a massive group of blithering idiots who sit around wondering if a better couple would be Jesse McCartney and Alexis Bledel or that guy from Smallville and Justin Timberlake. What makes me scratch my head in bewilderment is why in the name of God do these kids sit around thinking about what their favorite movie liplock scene was? When I was a kid I never worried about that type of crap. Best Make-out Song? Most of the kids at this awards show were between 13 and 15 years old and yet they have an award for best make-out song. Is it any surprise that these kids, especially the little girls, are growing up to be total skanks when they are encouraged by FOX and MTV to give it away at such an early age? It wouldn�t happen as much if their parents would, oh I don�t know, raise them with some moral standards aside from �if it feels good do it�. But the parents are too lazy to raise their kids and instead let the media do it and now we have a generation of kids who think that it�s okay to make out when your thirteen years old and that thongs are normal underwear for a 14 year old girl.
The only redeeming things about the show were the performances by Gwen Stefani and Simple Plan (which is not meant to imply that they were any good). What I found to be very funny though is that many of these kids are so clueless as to what some of the real words to songs are. For example in Gwen Stefani�s Hollaback Girl there was such blatant censoring on Gwen�s part that I wonder if any of these kids know that she was leaving out and changing words and that the real line is not �I heard that you were talking and you didn�t think that I would hear it� but rather �I heard that you were talking shit and you didn�t think that I would hear it�. And that the lines are �This is my There were many more things that made this show suck. For example anything involving Andy Dick usually can be written off as crap. Throw Paris Hilton into the works as well as Halle Berry and The Gotti�s and it�s pretty clear that the bottom of the barrel has been scraped through completely and some guy in China is getting a thorough butt-wiping. Hulk Hogan also appeared and ripped his shirt showing his gravity affected body and protruding gut much to the delight of nobody other than pre-pubescent girls (which made up most of this crowd anyways). Perhaps the most annoying thing about this whole show (yes, there is still more to make this awards show pointless and crappy) was the fact that anytime some �Teen heart-throb� was on stage the cheering from said girls was constant and deafening. Jesse McCartney who stars on Summerland and is not only a bad actor but also a bad musician, is the epitomy of all that is beautiful to these girls. I wish someone would just beat him in the face with a crowbar and take him down a peg or two. I�m sure he�s a nice guy but he looks like he is made from the same plastic that Paris Hilton is made out of. Their skin has this strange shine to it much like newly varnished wood. It isn�t human and I doubt they are either. Speaking of people I want to see beaten to a pulp from this show, hereis a list: I�m still not sure why this is even taken seriously as an awards show. Since these kids pretty much vote according to the band-wagon anyways none of the awards are really surprising. For crying out loud, Paris Hilton won Best Movie Scream for house of wax probably because everybody thinks �Oh Paris Hilton is pretty and cool and nice so let�s vote for her! Forget the fact that she�s better known for moaning in ecstasy in a home-made porno than screaming in terror and that she�s a total whore, she�s cool and pretty and popular so let�s ignore her crappy acting and vote for her!� Seriously, the Alien from The Forgotten totally should have won. How many times do you see someone scream and their face contorts and then shatters hundreds of panes of glass? That totally ruled and yet he didn�t win but he probably wouldn�t be caught dead at an awards show like this. I sure wish he would make me forget about this travesty.Pees Peas. I had the few measures of that song stuck in my head for the rest of the night which made my suffering even worse. Why is it that people actually like the Black-eyed Peas. They flat out suck. They are by far the worst looking and worst sounding band I�ve seen and heard outside of most of the New-wave and teased-hair & spandex metal bands of the eighties. Words cannot put into words my extreme loathing of this band. Such hippie songs as Where is the Love make me want to vomit uncontrollably as I wonder how this band ever became popular. Again, words fail me to describe how much this band violently sucks. Sadly there is nothing lower than mute for them.
