Now, my typical sources for proof random web sites linked to from myspace or something like that. However, today we turn into the wonderful world of spam e-mail. Now, a long time ago, when life sucked slightly less than it usually does (much like hot and cold waves in the temperature [i.e, global cooling and warming]) people that sent spam mail could at least spell proberly. However, I think that these companies have recently been employing inner-city-public-school-drop-outs or illegal immigrants (keeps cost down) to write their advertisements. I'm sure you've noticed - and yes, I do mean you singular since I am specifically addressing the only person that actually reads these things - that spelling has completely gone out the window with these people. Here are just a few samples:
1/12/2008
Subject: Doon't srurender to the lifee. Usee Spuer Vaigra.
Body: Bosot yoour sexaul fuflillment with Sooft Viarga.
1/13/2008
Subject: Sooft Vigara. Juust do whaat you waant.
Body: Wiin the laady?s' faovr with Sooft Ciails.
1/14/2008
Subject: Be a real maan with Sooft Cailis.
Body: You'll geet hrader erectinos with Sooft Vaigra.
1/18/2008
Subject: Makee a buonty to yoour woamn with Suepr Viarga
Body: Wnana incraese yoour maan's pwoer? Usee Sooft Cilais.
Now, it took me a minute to decipher all of this but here is a rough translation of each:
1/12/2008
Subject: Don't surrender to the life. Use Super Viagra.
Body: Boost sexual fuflillment with Soft Viagra.
1/13/2008
Subject: Soft Viagra. Just do what you want.
Body: Win the ladies favor with Soft Cialis.
1/14/2008
Subject: Be a real man with Soft Cialis.
Body: You'll get harder erections with Soft Viagra.
1/18/2008
Subject: Make a bounty to your woman with Super Viagra
Body: Wanna increase your man's power? Use Soft Cialis.
Now, I looked it up and Cialis is basically Viagra though I'm sure you all could have figured it out. I also realize that the soft version is an easy dissolve tablet but I would suspect that throwing the word "soft" in with "viagra" and "cialis" is a bit counterproductive if for no other than contradictory word association. Nobody wants to think "soft" when they take viagra. That's not why they take it.
But it isn't just spam either. I see people I know brutally mispell words too. Here is just a small list:
and of course you can imagine a myriad of other words. Now I realize some of these words are meant to be exaggerated as if you were holding out vowels sounds. But they aren't even spelling THOSE correctly. For example "sixty nine" would be "siiiixtyyyyy niiiiine!" not the above slaughter. Unless you can roll t's and x's (and you can't) there's no way that's correct. Also "later" would be "laaayta". Also, the extra repetitive g's and n's are un-neccessary. How hard is it to not hold down a key on the keyboard when you're typing? Is their brain shutting down while they think of the next word? "Oh my ggoodnesssssssssssssssssssssssss I can'ttttttttttttttttttttt think of whatttt the nextttttttt word I shoulddddddddd type isssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. I'm suchhhhhhhhh a frrrrrrickin alcoholllicccccck." That's the only explanation I can think of.
Why is all this happening? I don't know. People refuse to read and learn to spell correctly and then act suprised when people think they're functionally retarded. Of course these people aren't usually the brightest to begin with so that really doesn't surprise me. So in conclusion: GET A FRICKIN' DICTIONARY!!! Better yet, quit watching MTV and, as Handy the hand puppet says (watch the Tick) READ A BOOK!!!! HOW HARD IS IT TO SPELL CORRECTLY!!!
My whole point is this: if you're going to send me spam mail for medication I can assure you I don't need at least spell correctly. I would like to have the confidence that the person on the other ending filling my order can read the proper milligram dosage. And for all those people (mostly high-school-party-girl alcoholic tramps of society) who find it fun to butcher the english language, at least when I criticize you and tell you that you are one of the most worthless subsets of society, that no guy will ever respect your intelligence (or lack thereof) and you come across as nothing but a meat-hole, I want to know you're literate enough to understand my scathing remarks. That's all anyone really needs. That's the true essence of love. And what "the world needs now is love, sweet love. Something something something.....something....I left my bong in my car.....something something something." I can't remember the lyrics. It's a bunch of hippie crap anyways. But at least those tree hugging, animal humping, pot-heads know how the spell their drivel correctly.
