Internet dating is dumb enough but perhaps the worst idea that man has ever had is telephon-chat lines. I watch a few hours of TV late at night while I write these things and so I see a fair amount of advertisements for these types of things. Such services you can call are Dial-a-mate, Live Links, Vibe Line, Interactive Male (if you're a hardcore homosexual), Quest and my personal favorite Red Hot. Most of these (if not all of these) commercials make the claim that by simply calling you can meet the person of your dreams or, as is probably a more accurate description, the person of your one night stand fantasies. The best example of this is Red Hot. Apparently every girl that you can call on this particular service is a sex-starved vixen who wants nothing more than to rock your jocks. In one of the two versions I've seen, two equally hot girls are sitting in their slips, one sitting in between the others legs while one holds the other one. Then the one doing the holding says "no more fighting over boyfriends." Then the next one says "the next one we're gonna share." That's basically what every guy would love to hear but since that never happens the commercial is full of it. In fact as I typed that line the very commercial I'm talking about came on. Creepy. Another scene shows a girl wearing a tight tank top and leopard skin hot-pants on all fours talking on the phone and says "Red Hot is my new favorite toy" and by "toy" I'm pretty sure she's not referring to her Game Boy Advance SP. Then one girl comes on and asks "what are you waiting for? It's local, the girls are hot, and it's free." For some reason I doubt that the super-hotties on your commercials actually live in Memphis. Even if they did I'm not really looking for a one-night-stand whore and deep down, I'm pretty sure most guys aren't.
So why is it that people actually use these thngs? Aside from the few "success stories" that I've seen advertised, these things don't work out for the long run. As far as datelines go, I'm pretty sure that only nerdy, acne-faced, geeks who live in their mother's basements and use thes so they can actually talk to a girl without getting spit on. I'm still single, but it's not because I've never talked to a girl or don't have friends that are girls. It just hasn't worked out yet although I swear if anybody ever tells me again that "I love you but I don't think I'm in love with you", or "I think your really cute/adorable but I'm not attracted to you like that", or "I don't want you to have to put up with me" or "I just don't want to cross that line with you (whatever that means)", I am just going to snap. Quit beating around the bush girls and just flat out tell us guys why you don't want to go out with us. Don't give us this "It doesn't feel right because your such a good friend and I don't want to lead you on and blah blah blah blah blah." Yeah, God forbid you should try and make things work and actually try at a relationship. No, you have to go for the guys that throw themselves at you and look absolutely stupid and have a shady past. After all nice guys finish last, right? That's right which is why I'm this close (if you could see my thumb and index finger you would see that they aren't that far apart) to giving up on the whole nice guy bit. Yes it would be awful for you to try and make a relationship work with someone you've known for many years and who you know loves you unconditionally and has proven it but because it doesn't "feel right" you can't make a sacrifice for him to try and make him happy instead of worrying about what you want but the moment he doesn't sacrifice for you, he's a selfish jerk all of a sudden. I hate double standards and girls are full of them and yet for some reason I still love being around girls. That's probably why I'm straight.
Anyways all bitter ranting aside, if you want a relationship that lasts and has substance you can't honestly expect to get one from an online dating service, a dateline or mail-order-bride services. You actually have to work at it people. If you're having problems meeting the right guy or girl (i.e. that nice guy or nice girl) you may want to check where your finding all the losers you date. If you're meeting them at a bar, there's your problem. Skanks and horny men go to bars, not clean, wholesome girls and nice guys. There are other places that aren't societal septic tanks to meet people. It's not easy but it can be done. Playing internet dating-roulette with online dating services is only slightly less successful than actually convicting Michael Jackson or O.J. Simpson, both of whom were guilty as sin. Relationships take work. You can't let somebody do it for you.
