1) ...always be ready for amazement.
2) ...be willing to do anything for your friends (even if it means cross-dressing).
3) ...never engage in menial labor.
4) ...have a vocabulary consisting of at least 25 four-syllable words.
5) ...leave nothing to chance.
6) ...drink your dinner at least once a month.
7) ...prefer death to being in jail.
8) ...detest amateurs.
9) ...always look for ways to make money.
10) ...have an extensive wardrobe.
11) ...always have something up your sleeve.
12) ...never gamble with a clan.
13) ...ignore any arguments if you want to get a good night's sleep.
14) ...offer libations to visitors (even if they're unwelcome visitors).
15) ...give men the wrong directions...just to make them mad.
16) ...not be afraid to lock your own mother in jail.
17) ...pretend like you don't know what you're doing.
18) ...never take advantage of someone if they feel obliged.
19) ...blame it on debris.
20) ...blame it on cracked mirrors.
21) ...blame it on the desert air.
22) ...blame it on your drunken state.
23) ...blame it on your mother.
24) ...blame it on your friends.
25) ...never blame yourself.
26) ...always be tactful and diplomatic.
27) ...have an extenisve supply of your calling card on hand at all times.
28) ...be graceful.
29) ...never draw to an inside straight. (Contributed by Laura H.)
30) ...always check under the table if you're losing. (Contributed by Laura H.)
31) ...not share 100% of what you have with anyone.
32) ...observe a proper waiting period before dating a friend's ex-boyfriend.
33) ...not abide by the fact that your own friends don't trust you.
34) ...be the only one that complains.
35) ...claim to have your friend's best interests at heart when you're only thinking of yourself.
36) ...only look at the illustrations when perusing medical books.
37) ...never intend to share the wealth.
38) ...be in it for the laughs, if nothing else.
39) ...do things so fast that no one can tell if you're cheating.
40) ...parlay.
If you have any ideas for this list, please email me and I'll add your contribution!
