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Chapter Five (It's the Sport of Kings)
Back at Bally's, we realized, it was a different world. The
cocktail waitresses were about 20 years to old to be fitting in to there
scantily clan uniforms. Just imagine the last time you saw your mom in her
Underwear, and you get the same feeling looking at these waitresses. Now it was
time for bed. The next morning great things awaited for us. As our wake up call
came at 7:45 am, we stumbled around the room in a haze, wondering if the Belagio
was some sort of dream. But there was no time to thing about that. We had to
head out to the desert. It was time for Football. It was Air Force vs. BYU. The
Stadium was an engineering masterpiece, if you consider one entrance for forty
thousand people good engineering. Once inside, we realized we had gone from one
extreme to another. Instead of being surrounded by Shit Kickers, we were
surrounded by Mormons. No drinking, no swearing, no smoking, no sex (according
to our Cab driver, Mormon's are born in pods). These people belonged in Vegas as
much as the NDP does in any election. Listing to these people I had the
impression that Mormon's were at one time some sort of nut ball religious cult
that just got lucky and had turned in to an actual religion. As if Heaven's gate
had of lasted a bit longer, they would be a full fledged religion with all sorts
of crazy laws and their own University. Despite the fact I was cheering for Air
Force, we were stuck on the side of all the BYU fans. They didn't appreciate my
liberal use of the words "Shit" "Fuck" and "Cocksucker".
They sure didn't appreciate when I showed my ass to the BYU marching band. But
screw them, Air Force had won, sending the Mormons straight back to Utah, and
away from Sin-City. Rumor has it that if Air Force had lost, they would have
sent some B-52's to bomb Utah back to the stone age. This was never proven.
Despite the fact we were in the middle of nowhere, there was only one one lane
exit back to the strip. After gutting it out in the parking lot for an hour, it
was back to the strip. Out here you realize that Vegas is really out in the
middle of nowhere. I have no idea why this city was chosen to be the center of
the tacky universe. I guess I could rent Bugsy and find out, but with all the
Drinking and Gambling left to do, who the hell had time.
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