Don't Forget To Scroll To The Bottom To Read My Summaries/Reviews
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 #19WORST
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ANY madonna fan or ANY human being, critic, newspaper, magazine, or Madonna herself,
will tell you that she can't act.
She has been in 17 movies which 90% of them have either bombed, or everyone fell
asleep before reviewing them.
- Who's That Girl: Madonna plays a very humourous immature ridiculous
wacko who gets out of prison and goes nuts and teaches us all how to steal and
drive. But she looks like shit. I saw this everyday in the 80s. Very Funny!
- Desperatley Seeking Susan: Madonna looking amazing and trying
like hell to get her stuff back and survive. "The Madonna Movie", poor Patricia
Arquette. Great story and casting and setting. I saw this in the theater in
1985. Features "Into the groove".
- Truth or Dare: Madonna doesn't act b/c its a documentary of
her Blond Ambition tour and her backstage actions are very believeable as cameras
just follow her around. The movie is mostly black and white except the performances
were in color. I saw this in the theater on May 17, 1991 at midnight after my
friend's party.
- A league of their own: Madonna doesn't really star in this one playing baseball, but she is the sort of humourous one in this non-exciting flick. Very entertaining dance scene midway into the film. I saw this in the theater and wondered why everyone cried at the end.. Now I realize.
- Body of Evidence: Didn't see this in theather, couln't get in.
I rented it from the local store when it first came out and fast forwarded to
the sex scenes. Madonna is on trial for murder for one of her boyfriends which
she had major heavy duty sex acts with. She then performs them on her attorney.
Her acting in the cemetery is hilarious! Didn't the editors/directors realize
this before it was released? I don't care what anyone says.. I like this movie.
I may be the only one but I like it.
- The Next Best thing: Madonna has a happy life after getting preg with her first child with a gay man (supposedly it's him). Then meets Mr. Wonderful and plans to take kid and leave gay man. Resembles her real life at the moment in a way. I saw this on opening night where the theater was packed. (It wasn't packed).
- Dick Tracy: Madonna plays breathless mahoney and is the nightclub singer by night and a masked killer by midnight! Her hair resembles that of Marge Simpson
- Die Another Day 007: Madonna is in this movie for 2mins and is starting to look real old, those wrinkles are getting bigger! She appears as if she's resisting to laugh/smirk in between lines. When she delivers lines, she still sounds so phony, but the movie was so far-fetched and exaggerated and too long and boring anyway, but some scenes were cool and I love when Hally emerges from the water... mmmmmmmmmm.
- Four Rooms: This movie is divided into 4 different scenarios all taking place in the same hotel. Madonna is in the first scenario which is like 20mins. She does some witch craft w/ is ridiculous but she has the Human Nature video outfit on looking sexy. Some parts of the movie are funny.
- Girl 6: Madonna is in this for 2 mins in the beginning and 1 min at the end and her voice is on the answering machine around midway into the movie. She plays an amazing looking club owner and talks about different sexual acts.
- Vision Quest: High School wrestling preperation and the big win at the end! Madonna performs her #1 hit Crazy For You which knoced out We are the World from the #1 spot and she also performs the lesser known Gambler at the local bar.
- Shanghai Surprise: The "Live To Tell" look and trying so hard to act convincing its so cute how she tries. Shes off to find opium in Shanghai or something and the music is very funny throughout the movie. This film lost the oscar for picture of the year. Wait, it was nominated either. Oops.
- Swept Away: Why Madonna listens to "friends" to make a remake of this movie baffles me, I wish she had listened to me when I screamed at her to perform hits on her tour. This was Shanghai Surprise part 2 to me with husband #2. This film was in a very few theaters for 14 days before it was pulled, it made a pathethic $500,000 which is basically less than the love dont live here anymore single pulled in. The movie was like a 2 hour Cherish video but very boring, sad at the end, but screaming for a plot, a story, anything! Sweep This one away forever.
- Evita: Madonna is Eva Peron and this Musical involoves singing
the entire time which gives me a headache which is why I needed to watch this
one in segments. Her eyes are brown and teeth are bonded so when the light shines
on her in the bed her tooth glows reminding us of Dita.
- Bloodhounds of Broadway: Madonna w/ her Keep It Together single
cover look, takes place on New Years Eve 1929. The guy that likes her gives
her lots of jewlery and once again her acting is hilarious. Even the bus boy
who says 3 lines in the entire film gave a better performance then her. She
was the only bad actor. Not Recommended. I don't even think it made it to the
theather.
Dangerous Game: Madonna's acting was superb, but the story line
was horrid. This movie was uterly boring. Its about making a film within a film
and we get to see her nude once again! Do not watch if the sun is not out or
you will be snoozin. This movie made grossed 30 bucks, thank you to the 4 of
you who went to see this movie.
Shadows and Fog: Madonna is in this for 2 minutes, she play a trapeeze circus girl, but does no stunts. In fact, I don't think there was a circus in this movie. She looks really fat and that Mrs. Frankenstein wig is gross.
Blue in the Face: Exactly! I turned blue in the face from literally screaming at this movie. It was so bad. Madonna's part is what woke me up and interested me, she looks like wonder woman and does a low budget singing telegram act. She bends over and you see her underwear! The rest of the movie sux. Madonna's name isn't even on the box! And she had a bigger part then Lily Tomlin whom you can't even recognize.
A Certain Sacrifice: LOL, low budget, horrible, pathethic, stupid,
useless, embarassing, low budget, horrible, terrible, dumb, stupid, gross, disturbing,
disgusting, sucks too! Madonna plays Bruna and gets gang banged by 4 people
then gets raped in the bathroom with this horrible scary freaky music and they
get the guy at the end and drink his blood i think? or do some weird ass ritual.
We see her nude! The whole movie is 55mins.. still too long.