FMA

Welcome to fma.madnana.com. Some of you are asking, what is F.M.A.? Well, first of all, if you’re a parent of mine, or offended my some stuff, leave now. That’s an order. Don’t send me any negative mail if you read below this point, okay? That’s just rude.

Anyway… don’t tell my roommate, but… I like to masturbate. So, I’ve formed a union: Fellow Masturbaters of America. If you’re American and a masturbater, you’re in the club. Hell, I’m such a nice guy, even if you’re not American, you can have a temporary membership.

About the FMA:

Who: Everyone who has the urge to please themselves.

What: If you don’t know what masturbation is, I think you should leave now.

Where: Anywhere you like! Bathrooms, bedrooms, in any good dark room! Kitchen, closet, you name it!

When: Day or night. It helps you get to sleep, or wakes you up. Or if you just need a midday stress reliever.

Why: Oh, the benefits of masturbation is endless. Just remember, it only causes blindness if you get it in your eye, and it only gives you hairy palms if you don’t wash up afterwards. Be responsible, okay? It’s all for fun, but don’t get carried away.

How: We’ll discuss techniques later.

I hope that gives you a brief idea of what’s to come. (No pun intended) Send me some e-mail of ideas, words of encouragement, or masturbation stories that I’ll be posting later, once I get enough of ‘em. Male and female welcome. (Come on ladies, we know you do it too!)

Updated January 29, 2001.

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This page created by Noah Madrano.

Nothing else is as grand as you, my Right Hand.