(begins in her room)

Clarissa to us: I think it was some ancient greek philosopher who first said that in order to be happy you should live your life in strict moderation. That means not too much of what you do like and not too much of what you don't like, just straight down the middle. It's like this.

(cut to her eating icecream 0:14)

Clarissa to us: Eat as much of your favorite icecream as you can possible stand. Then, when you are a scoope away from hrofling, back off.

(cut to her sunbathing 0:24)

Clarissa to us: Stay in the sun long enough to match toast. But hit the shade once you start to look like a killer tomato.

(cut to her in a shoestore 0:34)

Clarissa to us: Spend as much of your clothing budget as you can on trandy shoes. But hold off on that up to minute pare that will land you in dork wil next week.

(back to her in her room 0:43)

Clarissa to us: Personally, I think moderation is ok, but only in moderation. The point is, to do more of what you want to do, less of what you don't what to do, and then convince your parents to let you do it. Is moderation overraided? Well I'll let you know, 'cos I'm gonna endold in way too much of a good thing. I'm gonna watch 24 hours of total TV.

(theme song 1:08)
(in her room 1:57)

Clarissa to us: Ok, thanks to Mr Futtstein, homework is about to be as easy as watching TV.

(Clarissa opens the window where Sam enters 2:04)

Clarissa to us: We've been assigned to study an ordinary object to figure out how to improve it. I've chosen television. Natch! Mr. Futtstein says the only way to know your subject is to completely emerge yourself in it. So in order to improve TV, I've decided to watch it for 24 hours straight. Hey, anything in the name of science. I know the ancient Greek said all things in moderation but that's because they didn't have remote controlles or cable guides. Can you imagine life in pre TV BC?

(she imagines her family as ancient Greeks 2:33)

Clarissa to Marshall: So, dadavalus. What are we going to do tonight.

Marshall: Well, sportafalus. I thought we could study astronomy for awaile and then discuss philosophy, 'till it's too dark to see.

Clarissa: Sounds great.

Janet: Or we could do some painting on this pottery.

Ferguson to Clarissa: Pass me out that dry bread, please.

Clarissa: Sure, Forgopolis-breath. Why not, there is nothing else to do.

(end of imagination 3:03)

Clarissa to us: Who said they where the good old days? Personally, I'm glad to be on time for the 20th century.

(ladder hits 3:10)

Clarissa: Hi Sam.

Sam: Hey Clarissa. So you've figured out your school project jet?

Clarissa: Yep. And I'm all set to watch TV.

Sam: Are you sure you should keep putting this off?

Clarissa: Who's putting it off, Sam? Wathing TV is my project.

Sam: You're going to impove television?

Clarissa: I'm gonna try. I figure after I watch 24 hours I will have a pretty good idea of what needs impoving.

Sam: Wow. You get to watch TV while I get to build a better vegetable.

Clarissa: So how've the search for the improved vetgy going?

Sam: Well, I figured that if I cross-pollinate a peaplant and a cornplant I'll get square-piece that don't roll around on your plate.

Clarissa: Cool. Pee-square.

Sam: It's a big investment to mankind, ye hear.

Clarissa: What's with the accent Sam?

Sam: My dad has discovered County western music. He's been playing it non-stop all week. I can't get that downhold twang out of my head.

Clarissa: I wonder what I'll sound like after 24 hours of total TV.

Sam: I guess you'll know in 24 hours. So, does this mean you are not coming to the spring carnival tonight?

Clarissa: Sorry Sam, schoolwork comes first.

Sam: But don't you wanna watch me win the pie-eatin contest?

Clarissa: Sorry Sam, I guess you just have to chop down terrypie 'till it comes down your nose without me this year.

Sam: Ok, I'm off. I smell pies are waiting.

Clarissa: You better get alone little doggy 'cos I'm heading to the big TV roundup.

Sam: So long partner.

(Sam goes away 4:23)

Clarissa to us: Ok, what shall I watch? The wildroad of world wrestling, road kill 911, or Americans funniest home shopping? Humm. Before I make any big decisions, I better stock up on supplies.

(She gets a basket and walks out 4:43)
(In the kitchen 4:47)

Marshall to Janet: Ok, I say we go with the leafier tree.

Janet: Oh, but Marshall don't you think a beautiful flowering tree would be nicer?

Marshall: Janet, I thought we aggried, right? The bearswat in the backyard needs some shade and a flower tree looks great for 4 weeks and then I'll spend the rest of the season raking.

Ferguson: Don't worry about the yard work dad. Clarissa is very handy with the rake.

Clarissa: I'm not bad with a baseball pad either.

Janet: Oh, Marshall lets get the magnolian.

Marshall: Ok, all right, the magnolian tree it is.

Janet: You'll learn to love it.

Marshall: Yea, who's gonna help with the dig?

Clarissa: Sorry dad, but I'm booked. Remember, my school project.

Marshall: Oh, yea, that's right, your TV thing.

(Clarissa goes out of the kitchen 5:22)

Janet: Well Ferguson, that leaves you.

Feguson: Oh, mom, dad, don't you remember my ecky sacry illiat(???)?

Marshall: Yea, well this will be the cure.

(Clarissa comes back in the kitchen with a shovel and hand it to Ferguson 5:31)

Clarissa: Happy digging!

Marshall: Come om Ferguson, let's get goin'.

(Marshall and Ferguson go out of the kitchen, Clarissa begins to get some food 5:36)

Janet: Oh, Clarissa. Try not to sit too close to the screen.

Clarissa: Don't worry mom.

Janet: And come join us when you need a break.

(Clarissa puts the food in the basket 5:43)

Clarissa to us: What break? Ups, I better get a move on, don't want to miss zero hour. Future of television might just lay in my hands.

(Clipped to her in her room 6:00)

Clarissa to us: Ok, supplies are stocked, I'm relaxed yet alert. Ready and wrering to go. Let the total TV marathon begin. In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and we're off.

(TV turns on and time meter starts 6:15)
(the screen turns up and down and stops where the time meter has reached 4:11:11, 6:17)
(sound from TV: 2 guys arguing and one shots the other)

Clarissa to us: Well I've been watching TV for 4 solid hours now, actually 4 hours 11 minutes and 27 seconds according to my total TV time meter. And I've loved every pixel of it, well, maybe not every pixel. I've already seen 36 exal violent, 7 commercials that make drinking look cool and more remarkable household-cleaners that I've ever knew existed. But the best thing I've seen all day is right outside my window during my 30 second eyestrain-break. Fergusen's sentence to one afternoon of hard labor.

(she goes to her window 6:57)

Clarissa yelling out: Looking good Fergface.

(she waves to him and he gets angry and goes into the house 7:02)

Clarissa to us: That makes up for all the time he's hogged the TV and kept me from my favorite shows. Did ya know, I'm starting to wonder if I even had any favoride shows. The shows are like commercials, commercials look like shows and if you want information they give you infomercials. On the other hand, live TV can be pretty cool. It puts you right in the middle of the action for the Olympics, elections. Hey, it's instant history. Like I wonder what would have happened if Porawears ride had been televiced live. Let's take a look at how things might have been.

(she imagines herself as a reporter at that time 7:35)

Clarissa: Paul, Paul, Paul! We're here live at local silver-smith powerwear who just hung one lagesty(???) in the north church wildtower. Paul, what's your message tonight.

Paul: The British are coming, the British are coming.

Clarissa: You heard it here first, the British are comming. Thanks Paul, anything else you like to say?

Paul: Your right, oh, right, one at by land, two at by sea.

Clarissa: Ok, fellow county man. That's the news.

Paul: Oh, one more thing. Arm yourself.

Clarissa: Looks like you got your work cut out for you.

Paul: You're right, I've got a world famous midnight ride comming up.

Clarissa: And we'll be there with live up to the minute coverage every step of the way. Good luck Paul. And thanks for the exclusive.

Paul: Ohh, remember Sunday's are savings days of Rever silfershop, 10% off for paytrayegs, 30 days saving cash.

Clarissa: This is Clarisssa Darling reporting from the old north church. And now back to you George.

(end of imagination 8:25)

Clarissa: See what I mean? I know exacly how to improve TV, make it live, all the time. Of course, what would we do when things got boring.

(Ferguson enters the room 8:34)

Clarissa: Hey, I'm busy Mr. Greenjeans. Don't you knock? Hey! You're tracking muddle all over my floor!

Ferguson: You mean my floor. A couple of throw pillows I could turn this place into something.

Clarissa: What are you talking about Fergface?

Ferguson: Oh, once you go completly insane from watching all this TV. I expect every evecansy. I've always fancied a two room sweet.

Clarissa: Take a hike Fergenstein.

Ferguson: Ok, but I'll be back. Your eyes already look a little glaced.

Clarissa: That's because they're looking at you.

Ferguson: Anything you say sis. Just remember Molly Migillap.

Clarissa: Who? Never mind, don't tell me.

Ferguson: Well, since you asked, Molly Migillap lived in Jean Organ. She holds the world record for continuous TV watching.

Clarissa: So what?

Ferguson: So she went completely nutch, they had to drag her away from the television when she claimed to be Pat Seageg wife, and could only communicate by singing babaloo.

Clarissa: Like I might believe that.

Ferguson: Fine, keep watching. We'll have to put you in the basement figiover until the men in white come after you to the(???) funnyfarm.

Clarissa: Can't wait. I'll see you there. Now get out.

Ferguson: Hehehe.

(Ferguson leaves 9:33)

Clarissa to us: Great, I already missed 11 and a half seconds of total TV. I wonder if Madam Curry had to deal with annoying little brothers.

(Clarissa keeps watching and the meter goes to 6:01:36, 9:47)

Clarissa to us: Ok, we're now six hours deep into total TV. So far I've changed a channel 1739 times. And the only thing I know for sure, is that there is plenty of room for improvements. Like there should be a 2 minute warning sign before each commercial break so you could get ready to make a sandvage. And for each chocoo's as a babe in bikini, they should show Jason Preasly on a motorcikle. I think I'm on my way to a scientific breakthrough.

Janet from outside: Clarissa. Come down and join us while it still light out.

Clarissa to us: That's a good idea. I'm getting a bit of cavin feaver.

(She takes her TV outside 10:22)

Janet to Marshall: I'll be right back.

(Janet walk into the house and meets Clarissa 10:26)

Janet to Clarissa: Oh, Clarissa I'm glad you decided to join us.

Clarissa: Bet a sunshine doesn't have to get in the way of scientific research, mom.

Janet: You're gonna watch out here?

Clarissa: You can't expect me to just interrupt my project, if I don't watch continusly my research will be flawed.

Janet: Well, maybe the scientist could use a glass of leminate.

Clarissa: Thanks mom.

(Ferguson appears 10:44)

Ferguson to Marshall: Where do you want this dad?

Marshall: Ah, thanks Ferguson, you can leave it right there.

Ferguson: Oh, thanks.

(Ferguson walks to Clarissa 10:52)

Ferguson to Clarissa: Stay right where you are sis. And if there is anything I can get you, please don't hessetate to ask. I want to make your last few moments of sanity as confortable as possible.

Clarissa: I have an idea, why don't you chew on some tin foil.

(Ferguson shows her some magazine 11:06)

Ferguson: Hehe, look what I just happen to have found. You might wanna take a look at this, note page 47, I've highlighted the good parts.

Clarissa: TV overload psychosis? The major warning signs.

Ferguson: It's a well documented phenomenon, jet rementemby, there is still no cure.

Clarissa: That's because they're still looking for the cure for toxic Fregbreath sindrom.

(Ferguson goes away 11:27)
(sound from tv about weather 11:30)

Clarissa: Hey, look it's the 24 hour weather channel. Isn't nature the best?

(end of this scene, she is now in her room total TV time meter is at 13:59:50, 11:37)

Clarissa to us: We are now approcing hour number 14 of total TV. My biggest discovery so far? This is not as much fun as I thought it would be. There is no real give and take between you and the TV except it has given me a headache.

(TV begins to go strange, channels start to change by them own 11:53)

Clarissa: Hey? What's going on? The channels are changing on their own! They're freaking out, they're freaking me out.

(Clarissa begins to read the "TV overload psychosis" book 12:05)

Clarissa: The first irreversable sign of TV overload psychosis is audio and visual delusinations. Specificly delutions of involuntary channel changing. Ahhh.

(she throws the book away 2:16)

Clarissa: This is easy to cure. I'll just shut it off.

(Clarissa shuts the TV off, but the sound of a TV is still there! She gets the book again 12:21)

Clarissa: Second sintom, hearing the TV after you've shut it off. I can't believe this. Ten hours left. I must go on. I can't go on. I will go on. I got to continue in the name of science, even if total TV drives me totally crasy.

(commercial break 12:48)
(in her room with time meter at *???* Clarissa seems flipped 16:10:04)

From TV: It's 2 am. Do you know where your children are?

(clipped to meter showing 18:45:15, 12:53)

From TV: This includes the late lake, the late lake of late show.

(Clarissa falls out of her bed when she dozes off due to sleepyness 12:56)
(more clipps, some music comes from TV and meter at 19:20:45, 12:58)
(still more clipps, some clown talking and meter at 20:14:52, 13:02)
(and yet more, channels begin again to change and meter at 23:57:07, 13:06)

Clarissa: Oh, no, not that channel changing thing again. At least we're winding down. [to us] I think it's time for an extra special total TV update. View at a special advice(???).

(clipped to Marshall and Janet putting the tree down 13:28)

Clarissa: Late yesterday afternoon mom and dad planted their tree right on scedule, Saturday at 6:30, 5:30 central.

(Marshall and Janet go into the house and the night starts, then the morgning, 13:37)

Clarissa: Will their little tree survive? Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion.

(clipped to Janet in the kitchen 13:44)

Clarissa: Mom's not a tree doctor but she's been playing one in the kitchen. Her special health formula has a secret ingredient. Guess what.

(the word tofu appears 13:51)
(clipped to Ferguson in his room with some big electronic junk 13:53)

Clarissa: Meanwhile, on a network all a zone. Ferguson has developed a sudden interest in electronics. He has also got blueprints of my room. Why? Does he think he can take it over? This is one spinoff series that gets two thumbs way down.

(back to her room 14:06)

Clarissa: As for me, I'm showing all the classic symtons of TV overload psychosis. If I don't do something fast, my signals may wind up perminantly scrambled.

(ladder hits 4:16)

Clarissa: Hi Sam.

Sam: Hi Clarissa.

(Hillary comes after Sam 14:20)

Hillary: Hi Clarissa.

Clarissa: Hi Hillary.

Hillary: We wanted to be at the finish line.

Sam: Yea, so when do we start the countdown?

Clarissa: According to my total TV time meter, let the countdown begin. In 5,

All of them: 4, 3, 2, 1, yes.

Hillary: Congratuation.

Sam: So how do you feel, champ?

Clarissa: Like Molly Migillap after they hold her off.

Hillary: Molly who?

Clarissa: Guys, do I look funny to you?

Hillary: You mean like Bows of the Clown?

Sam: Yea, funny haha, or funny wierd?

Clarissa: Funny? I'm completely loony.

Sam: You're not loony, you've just been up all night.

(TV begins to change channels by them own again 14:52)

Hillay: It's hard to concentrate when the channels once start changing.

Sam: Yea, that's wierd.

Clarissa: You mean it's not just me? Wait, watch what happens when I turn it off.

(TV sound is still there when TV is off 15:02)

Hillary: Where is all that TV noise coming from?

Clarissa: You mean you hear it too?

(Sam finds a hidden speaker 15:13)

Sam: Hey, it's coming from this speaker.

Clarissa: Speaker? That's great!

Sam: Why? It's annoying.

Clarissa: If it means I'm not crasy. I thougt it was just in my head, but now I see it is just across the hall.

Hillary: What are you talking about Clarissa?

Clarissa: Come on, I'll show you what I mean.

(they go out of the room and to Ferguson's 15:29)

Sam: It's like a bad James Bond movie to me.

Clarissa: The Fergbreath has been trying to convince me that my brain is scrambled by scrambiling the TV. The sickest part is, I almost fell for it. Come on.

(they get out and are in the hall 15:48)

Hillary: Na, you have just been overconsaked for pulling it all nighter.

Clarissa: Fergface is the one who is going to be in a weaken state when I get through with him.

Hillary: So what are you going to do?

Clarissa: What any self-respecting civilian would do, strike back.

Sam: But don't forget your school project.

Clarissa: Don't worry, it's all part of the big picture. I'm going to improve television and the quality of my live in one strike. Here's my idea.

(she tells them the idea but we don't hear it 16:11)
(clipped to clarissa going into the kitchen with her TV 16:18)

Janet to Clarissa: Oh, hi Clarissa.

Clarissa: Hi mom.

Janet: Why are you carrying that TV around, you're not still watching are ya?

Clarissa: No, the view is over but I'm carrying it around to, well, get a feel for it.

Janet: Clarissa, this TV thing. Why don't you come outside with your father and me for a little while, ha?

Clarissa: I'd like to mom, but can't interupt my regularly sceduled programing.

Janet: Oh, ok dear.

(Janet goes out of the kitchen 16:44)

Clarissa to us: And now, here's Jonny.

(Ferguson enters the kitchen, and Clarissa holds the TV very close to her 16:51)

Ferguson: Sis, please have some juice, your looking very peaked.

Clarissa: It is not just the breakfast anymore(???). Oh, and could you please pore a glass for my friend, Mr TV too?

Ferguson: Sure, it's nice to have friends when you're... crasy. So, should we call the linnybin(???) yet?

Clarissa: Call now, only 2.99 for the first minute, 50 cents for each addition minute.

Ferguson: Really sis? Tell me more.

Clarissa: Please stand by, this is a test, this is only a test, UUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

(she sounds like a siren 17:22)

Ferguson: That's beautiful, I'm so happy for you sis.

Clarissa: If you act now, while our supplies last you'll recevie this free liberace-plate with your order.

Ferguson: Yea, right. A liberace-plate, that sounds great. I'll take a dozen, and your room.

Clarissa: Yes and thanks for playing! we have some lovly parting gifts for our runners off.

Ferguson: That's very interesting. But hold that thought.

(he goes some meters away 17:42)

Ferguson to himself: I've done it! Ferguson W. Darling supergenius, hah!

(he runnes upstairs 17:48)

Clarissa to us: Huh, superidiot's more like it. Now that the bases are loaded, I think it's time to knock Fergface out of the party.

(clipped to where Ferguson is going into his room 17:59)

Clarissa from her room: Help! Somebody help. Ferguson!

(he stoppes and then goes into her room 18:04)
(clipped to her room, we see Clarissa is inside her TV)

Clarissa: Help, get me out of here.

(Ferguson looks for her 18:07)

Ferguson: What? Where are you?

Clarissa: Here!

Ferguson: Where?

Clarissa: Here! Lower stupid!

(finally he finds her 18:13)

Ferguson: How'd you get on TV?

Clarissa: I'm not on it, I'm in it. Get me out of here.

(she knocks on the glass in the TV while she speaks 18:17)

Ferguson: What is this?

(ladder hits 18:20)

Sam: Hi Clarissa.

(Ferguson goes in front of TV to hide Clarissa 18:26)

Ferguson: Hi Sam, how's it goin?

Sam: Hey, where is Clarissa?

Ferguson: Uhh, nowhere. See ya.

Clarissa: Help Sam, I'm trapped.

(Sam pushes Ferguson from the TV 18:35)

Sam: Clarissa? What are you doing in there?

Clarissa: I don't know and I don't know how to get back. I pressed a dial and got stuck, help me!

(she knocks more 18:41)

Ferguson: Oh, please spear me, this is clearly a videotape.

Sam: But there is no tape in there.

Ferguson: What do you mean? There's got to be a tape in there.

Clarissa: And how do you think I can answer you, humm, technoweenie?

(Ferguson tries to change a channel 18:57)

Clarissa: Hey! Hey! That feels weird.

Sam: Ferguson, stop.

Clarissa: Hey, don't just sit there. Do something. My pixels are starting to go fuzzy.

Sam: A best friend, lost in TV land forever.

Clarissa: Help me, I'll never watch TV again if you just get me out of here!

(more knocks 19:11)

Ferguson: This is stubid, I'm turning it off.

Clarissa: Don't let that dial, I may never come back.

Sam: Don't do it Ferguson, how can you cancel your own sister?

Clarissa: Somebody do something.

(more knocks 19:23)

Ferguson: I didn't do this, she's the one who watched too much TV. You can't pin this on me, this is not my fault.

Sam: You drove her into this Ferguson.

Ferguson: You can't prove anything.

(Ferguson runs out of the room 19:33)
(Sam gets a microfone from the side of the TV)

Sam to the microphone: The coast is clear, you did great.

(Clarissa and Hillary climb down from a room above 19:43)

Clarissa: It worked?

Sam: He's totally freaked, the TV snow was a great effect.

Hillary: I guess that the years in the AB squad finally payed off.

Clarissa: Yea, and the attic is a great TV studio.

Sam: You should have seen Ferguson's face.

Clarissa: Yea, the one time I wanted to see Fergwad's mug, I missed it.

(end of scene 20:02)
(clipped to Ferguson talking to Marhall and Janet 20:02)

Ferguson: Dad, TV is a powerful media, in the wrong hands it can be extremely dangerus.

Marshall: Forget it, Ferguson.

Janet: We're not gonna take away Clarissa's TV privileges just because she tricked you.

(Janet sneezes 20:16)

Marhall: Oh, bless you.

Janet: I can't believe I'm allergic to magnalianblof.

Marshall: Well I know, we whould have gone with the elm tree.

(Clarissa and Sam enter through the front door 20:23)

Clarissa: Sam, piece on the cover is much better than squere piece anyway.

Sam: And all it took was hard work, discipline and a little crasy glue.

Clarissa: It's one small bite for man, one giant meal for mankind.

Marshall: Say sport, how'd your project go?

Clarissa: Here I'll show you.

(she gets a tape out of her pocked and puts it into the video 20:38)

Ferguson: Thanks but no thanks, I've had all the TV I can stomic for awile.

Janet: Oh, come on Ferguson, lets have a look.

Clarissa: Besides, this isn't regular TV, it's new and improved interactive Clarissa vision

(She plays it 20:56)

Clarissa from TV: Hi, and welcome to unTV. After intensive analysis of the value of TV, I've decided it would feel a lot more fun if we could interact with it.

Janet: How did you think of that Clarissa?

Clarissa: Believe it or not, Ferguson provided the inspiration.

Ferguson: I just want you to know I didn't believe your childish prime for a minute.

Clarissa from TV: Interacting with your TV is easier than you think. Ready? Ok, this interactive TV excersice number one. First, hold up your remote. Good. Next, aim it directly at the screen in from of you. Now you got it. And the third and most important step, locate the power button and click it off. Bye.

(TV shuts off 21:36)

Clarissa: TV or unTV? That is the option.

(she points the remote at us and turns off the screen 21:41)
(the end)