(an alarm clock is ringing, a hand reached out and slamms on it so it stops)
(camera moves to show Clarissa in bed 0:07)

Clarissa to us: Some days you zip out of bed with a smile in your face and a song in your heart. Me, I usually hit the 'snozze' button to cup a few extra seez(?). But why is it that knowing the alarm will go off in five minutes takes all the fun out of sleeping? Pretty soon now, if mom doesn't hear me moving around, she'll send in the reserves(?).

(she points at the door 0:24)
(Marshall knocks and then talkes through the door 0:25)

Marshall: Hey sport, time to get up!

Clarissa: Dad! I'm already awake! (to us) Next comes that one-women-pep-squad-of-sunshining cheer. Here she is, Janet Darling!

(Janet enters 0:36)

Janet: Ok, Clarissa, join your round(join around the bed?), Mr. Sun says rise and shine.

(Janet undraws the window 0:41)

Clarissa: I'm rising, I'm shining, just two more minutes.

(Clarissa puts the cover over her head 0:45)

Janet: On the double, Ms Darling.

(Janet takes one of the cover away from Clarissa, then Clarissa takes the other one and Janet helps her get out of the bed 0:48)

Clarissa: Look, I'm up, I'm awake!

Janet: I want to see you downstairs in ten minutes, pronto.

Clarissa: Ok.

(Janet leaves and Clarisa closes the door, then immediately jumps in the bed again and puts the cover over her head 1:01)
(she then takes the cover away again and looks at us 1:09)

Clarissa: Some mornings you just don't want to go to school.

(she sits up in the bed 1:13)

Clarissa: It's not that I have got anything against education, but here are some ways I've avoided school in the past.

(clipped to her in a dentist room 1:20)

Clarissa: Dentist appointments have been good to get out of school. But the problem with the dentist appointment is that you usually have to go to the dentist.

(the dentist starts drilling and horrible music is played 1:29)
(clipped to the whole family somewhere outside with a tent 1:29)

Clarissa: Extended family vacations can also be good for getting out of school. But they can have their downsides too. Why did those extra-vacation days always have to turn into a nightmare?

(a tornado starts and wipes the tent away leaving Ferguson puzzled since he was inside it 1:38)
(clipped back to her 1:40)

Clarissa: And then there is the time-honored traditional way of avoiding school, get sick. Gee, that's funny... I feel a cold coming on.

(she makes a funny face and then puts the cover over her head once again 1:51)
(theme song 1:53)
(in her room, she enters it 2:40)

Clarissa: Let's face it, not feeling good is the pits. But there is a good side to getting sick too.

(clipped to her all covered in dots 2:49)

Clarissa: I remember fondly my first childhood disease. When I was seven I got chicken pox from Checky Prumper(?). It was ichy, but being a human-connected dot-puzzle was kind of fun.

(on the screen, she starts draws lines between the dots on her arm 3:00)
(clipped back 3:02)

Clarissa: This time I think I'll go for the good old fashion, cold. Soggy socks are great for the sniffles.

(she shows us the wet socks 3:06)
(ladder hits 3:08)

Sam: Hey, Clarissa, give me a hand.

(he hands her an empty aquarium that looks heavy 3:17)

Clarissa: Urgh, what is this, Sam?

Sam: It's an aquarium.

Clarissa: But what happened to your fish?

Sam: Here they are.

(he shows her a small sack 3:22)

Sam: Watch out, Willy's a little high-strung, when he's scared he swims in circle.

Clarissa: How else can you swim in an aquarium?

Sam: Well, actually, Mookie sig-sags and Beck kinda slinks around at the bottom. They all have their special habits, you'll see.

Clarissa: I will?

Sam: Dad's been fumigating lately.

Clarissa: Fumigating?

Sam: Yea, I guess we left out a few too many frozen dinners. Do you think you can fish-sit for a few days? Fumes are bad for fish.

Clarissa: But Sam, I already have a pet.

Sam: I'm sure Elvis will enjoy the company, wouldn't you guy.

(clipped to Elvis for a few moments 3:54)

Clarissa: Don't alligators eat fish?

Sam: You wouldn't let Elvis do that. Besides, I thought you liked fish.

Clarissa: I love tuna-sandwiches.

Sam: Clarissa! Don't talk that way around the guys.

Clarissa to the fish: Just kidding.

Clarissa: But Sam, tell your fish, no loud parties.

Sam: So you're ready for Ancient Greece day?

Clarissa: I'm sorry to say I won't be able to make it.

Sam: Really?

Clarissa: I think I feel a cold coming on any minute now.

Sam: You're still bumped?

Clarissa: Bumped? Just because they want me to dance around in a sheet for another one of Mrs. Engleberger's stupid pageants?

Sam: Yea, I know what you mean. This year I'm Pan. I'm supposed to play clay flute and sit in the foothills of a papermachain-out-of-Olympics(?).

Clarissa: At least you get to sit down.

Sam: Yea, you got a tough.

Clarissa: I'm a pillar, Sam! A pillar! Mrs. Engleberger has written a special poem for me to recite about how great it is to hold up the Parthenon. Give me a break.

Sam: It's kind of short notice for getting sick.

Clarissa: I know, but I jumped around in a bunch of puddles for an hour. I should be showing symptoms any minute now. Is there a coat on my tongue?

Sam: Not even a T-shirt(?). It looks normal to me.

Clarissa: Wait! Listen to my cough. Uhu huhu huh!

Sam: You've got to give it more than that. Give it a heck like this. HUHU HUHUHUHUHUHU!!!

Clarissa: HuHu Huhuhuhuhu!

Sam. Again.

Clarissa: Huhu Huh Huh!

Sam: One more time.

Clarissa: Huhu Huh!

Sam: More phlegm.

Clarissa: Kiegh! Hu...

Sam: Again.

Clarissa: Sam! You're going to make me sick! Wait, feel my head, see if I got a temperature.

Sam: I can't tell. Is your head hot or is my hand cold. Maybe your head is cold and my hand is burning up. I think you're normal.

Clarissa: What am I going to do?

Sam: I think this calles for the one sure fire-method of getting a sickday.

Clarissa: What's that?

Sam: Fake it.

Clarissa: I guess it's either that or start memorizing the poem for Ancient Greece day.

(clipped to her in the bathroom 5:43)

Clarissa to us: Am I looking a little under the weather? It never hurts to help nature along. Ever since I started at Thomas Tupper Junior High, Mrs. Engleberger's pageant days have been a burr in my butt. Here are some of painful pageants from the past.

(clipped to her as a tail of a dinosaur 6:00)

Clarissa: First there was the pre-historic pageant. That was a stone-age nightmare. I was the tail of the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

(everything goes wrong on the screen and people start fleeing from Clarissa 6:05)

Clarissa from scene: Hey, where's everybody going? You guys!

(clipped to Clarissa covered in smoke from a mirrow(?) 6:16)

Clarissa: Then there was the Christmas pageant. Fergwad was a wise man. And me, I got to stand behind with a swinging mirrow(?). I smelled like a cured ham for a week.

Clarissa from scene: Cough! Cough!

(clipped back 6:29)

Clarissa: Ferguson gets all the good parts because he spends every waking minute sucking up to Mrs. Engleberger. I'm getting out of this Ancient Greece day if it's the last thing I do, and that's nothing to snezze about. Atshu!! Or maybe it is.

(she opens the door on the bathroom and walks out 6:45)

Clarissa: Tshu!

(looks at us and walks out 6:48)

Clarissa: Atshu! Tshu!

(clipped to Janet and Marshall in the living room 6:51)

Janet: This "comish(?)-you-wore" high school reunion is going to be fun.

(she tries to zip up the dress she's in 6:57)

Janet: Can you zip me up, dear?

Marshall: Now, remember, honey, don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't fit.

Janet: What makes you think it won't fit?

Marshall: Uh...

(Clarissa enters coughing 7:03)

Janet to Clarissa: Hi honey.

Clarissa: Hi mom.

Marshall to Janet: You've had two children, you're not the same women you were when you were eighteen.

(he zips it up without a problem 7:10)

Marshall: Oh...

Janet: It fits.

Marshall: Yea. What a great idea to have everybody wear what they wore when they were in high school.

Clarissa: Cough! Cough!

Marshall: Wow, wow, something got in the wrong way there, sport?

Janet: Honey, get yourself a glass of water.

(Clarissa turns to us with a face saying "damn!" 7:21)
(Janet takes up a jacket 7:22)

Janet: Oh...

Marshall: What?

Janet: Look, dear. Your leather-jacket.

Marshal: Heheh.

(he puts it on 7:26)

Janet: Oh, you looked so handsome in this.

Clarissa: Atshu!

Janet: Bless you.

Clarissa. Thank you.

Marshall: Hey, I was the king of cool.

Clarissa: Atshu!!

Both: Bless you.

Clarissa: Thanks again.

Marshall: Yep, I was Morlin Brandoon(?).

(he tries to zip it up 7:40)

Marshall: Uh, James Deev(?), Steve Macvilon(?), all in...

(it's obvious this jacket is too small for him 7:46)

Marshall: You got to give me a little help here.

Janet: Well, dear, you're just a tiny heavier than you were.

(they manage to zip it up but it can't stand the pressure and it opens 7:52)

Janet: Oh.

Marshall: Oh, Janet, you've got to help me. I've got to lose some weight.

Janet: Marshall, we've gone through this a thousand times. Whenever I try to help you diet I always end up being the bad guy.

Clarissa: Cough!! Cough!

Janet. Clarissa, are you alright?

Clarissa: Oh, me? I'm fine.

Marshall: Well, you sound like you're coming down with something, sport.

Clarissa: Oh, it's just a little cold in my nose. Nothing to worry about.

Janet: Does your throat hurt, dear?

Clarissa: Well, it is a little scratchy. Cough!

Janet: Well, Clarissa, you sound like you've got a bad bug. Do you have a temperature, dear?

Clarissa: I feel pretty hot, but there's so much to do at school.

Janet: Well, if you have a temperature, you're not going to school.

(she turns to us briefly and gives us a "yes" gesture 8:35)

Clarissa: Really, no school.

Janet: Let's take your temperature.

Clarissa: Oh, that's ok, you don't have to go upstairs to get the thermometer, I'm sure I have a temperature.

Janet: That's ok, there's a thermometer in the first-aid kit in the kitchen.

(Janet and Marshall go into the kitchen 8:43)

Clarissa to us: How convenient.

(in the kitchen 8:46)

Janet: Well, Clarissa, it seems you don't have a fever.

Clarissa: Are you sure?

Janet: I've already taken your temperature three times, you're normal.

Clarissa: How about the best out of seven?

Marshall: Wow, your sign has seem to have cleared up.

Clarissa: Oh, that comes and goes.

Marshall: Uh, yes, I think you might have a case of spiral-viral nerwa(?) mania.

Clarissa: Spiral-what?

Marshall: Oh, it's a very rare tropical disease. It usually only strikes kids who don't want to go to school.

Janet: I recommend that you take two cookies and call me in the morning. Oh, and Clarissa dear...

Clarissa: Yea mom?

Janet: Wash that powder off your face before you go to bed, it's bad for your complexion.

(Janet and Marshall go away 9:26)

Clarissa to us: Gee, what's a girl got to do to get sick around here??

(end of scene 9:32)
(in her room, Sam is there 9:33)

Clarissa to the fish: Hey, Willy, quit hogging on the flakes.

Sam: That's Mookie.

Clarissa: Sorry.

Sam: So how's the great Americal fakeout go?

Clarissa: I struct out, mom took my temperature.

Sam: Uhh, parents can be so tricky sometimes.

Clarissa to the fish: Move, Mookie.

Sam: That's Babe. You can tell because she follows behind Mookie. She likes him.

Clarissa: You've got to be kidding.

Sam: Hey, there's a whole world of stuff going around in that tank. You just have to look for it. Well, got to be going. (to the fish) Good night, guys. (to Clarissa) See ya.

Clarissa: Bye Sam.

(he leaves 9:59)

Clarissa to us: Hey, Babe really is following Mookie. Wow, maybe Sam's right, maybe there is a whole underwater soap opera in that little see of love, just below the surface.

(the camera zooms at the tank, note that Clarissa (or actually Melissa) peeks at the camera while it zooms in, it's not very obvious but if you look for it you should see it, you can see it here 10:11)
(the camera moves down into the tank and the words "As The Tank Turns" appear 10:15)

Clarissa: It's time for As The Tank Turns. Meet Willy, he wiggles his way to the top from an algae fillt aquarium at Donny's pep(?) world. Then there's Babe, young, buywisius(?), scaly. She only has skills for Mookie, but he's a cold fish in love with a plastic mermaid. How will the tides turn for this hopeless trio? Find out in the next episode of As The Tank Turns.

(clipped to Clarissa 10:41)

Clarissa to us: And what will happen to me, as I face up to my future as a pillar? Stay tuned for that exciting episode.

(commercials 10:48)
(clipped to Ferguson, Janet and Marshall in the kitchen, they are preparing the outfit Ferguson is going to wear at the pageant, Clarissa enters 10:49)

Ferguson: Mom, don't we have any other sheets?

Janet: You used to love these sheets when you were younger.

Ferguson: Mom, I don't think Zeus would wear a toga(?) with hippos and bears on it for Ancient Greece day. I mean, I'm not some dump pillar, I'm king of the gods.

Clarissa: Yea, just because you're Mrs. Engleberger's pet.

Ferguson: She happens to recognize my superior ability.

Clarissa: Superior ability to suck up. I'm sure leaving chocolate-covered cherry on her desk every week for the last year didn't hurt.

Ferguson: At least I'm not a column of cement.

Clarissa: At least I'm not going to be a toothpick in that skimpy little toga(?). They're going to laugh you off Mount Olympics.

Janet: Now guys, that's enough. Clarissa, would you like a sory(?) muffin?

Clarissa: No thanks mom, I'm not hungry.

Marshall: I'll have another one.

Janet: Marshall, you don't want to do that.

Marshall: I don't?

Janet: It's not on your program.

Marshall: Right. Aren't they low-cal?

Janet: They're not low-cal if you eat ten of them.

(she goes to the freezer 11:40)

Marshall: You're right honey. (to himself) I can't believe I can't have another muffin.

Clarissa: Atshu!

Marshall: Bless you. Wow, you're not coming back to that spiral-viral nerwa(?) mania again, are you, sport?

Clarissa: No dad, I think I'm resign to my fate. I'll never miss another day of school again.

(she goes to the window and begins to open it 11:57)

Janet: What are you doing, Clarissa?

Clarissa: I'm trying to open this window, it's really hot in here.

Janet: Hot? Clarissa, you don't look very well.

Clarissa: I'm fine, let's face it. I'll be healthy for the rest of my life.

Janet: I think we better take your temperature one more time.

Ferguson: She's obviously trying to fake being sick and acting well so you'll think she's really sick.

Clarissa (with the thermometer in her mouth): Ferguson, you're totally twisted.

Janet: Shhh! Don't talk, Clarissa.

(Janet looks at the thermometer 12:24)

Janet to Marshall: Get the phone book, dear.

Marshall: Is she ok?

Janet to Clarissa: Well, you've got yourself a fever, alright.

Clarissa: I do?

Ferguson: Oh, no, I can't believe this. I was going to strike you with my lightning-bolt.

Marshall: Come on, Ferguson.

(they leave 12:40)

Janet to Clarissa: Ok now, up to bed with you. We'll bring you some fluids, I'll call Dr. Festerspoon.

(she leaves 12:45)

Clarissa to us: Yes! I'm sick! I'm sick!

(she dances around but gets dizzy soon and has to sit down again 12:47)

Clarissa: I hope I'm not too sick to enjoy this.

(in her room, Clarissa is in bed and Janet, Marshall and Dr. Fersterspoon are there 12:52)

Dr. Festerspoon: Hmm... Ah, Ahh, Atshu!!

Janet: Bless you. What is it, Dr. Festerspoon?

Dr. Festerspoon: Oh, just an upper respertory(?) track infection. I'm afraid it's an occupational hasit(?). I'm taking medication. Oh, and I've been to a doctor.

Marshall: No, Dr. Festerspoon, what's wrong with Clarissa?

Dr. Festerspoon to Clarissa: Oh, well, my dear. I'm afraid you have cought yourself a rina(?)-virus.

Janet: Rina-virus??

Dr. Festerspoon: It's an upper respertory(?) disorder with glandular aggravation. In laymans term, it's ah, ahh, Atshu!!! a cold.

Janet: Bless you.

Marshall: Oh, that's a relief.

Dr. Festerspoon to Clarissa: Now, I want you to stay in bed for a week and take this cough syrup every four hours.

Clarissa: Can't I stay in bed for four hours and take cough syrup every week?

Janet: So do you think she'll be ok?

Dr. Festerspoon: Oh, she'll be back on her feet in no time.

Marshall: That's great doc.

Dr. Festerspoon: But young lady, you must stay in bed. I wouldn't want this rina(?)-virus to develop into what's going around these days. You just might catch the setuan(?) flu.

Clarissa: Setuan(?) flu? What's that?

Dr. Festerspoon: Oh, that's a nasty stomach virus that wanders all over your body when you're weak.

Clarissa: Uh!

Dr. Festerspoon: So stay in bed and take care of yourself. Ah, Ahh, Atshu!

Janet: Bless you, Dr. Festerspoon.

Dr. Festerspoon: Oh, yes.

Janet to Clarissa: Honey, we'll be right back.

(they leave 14:26)

Clarissa to us: Wow, the setuan(?) flu. That's pretty scary. I wonder if there is a wandering virus sneaking around inside me right now.

(clipped to Ferguson dressed like a virus inside what looks like organs 14:35)

Virus: Umm... Looks pretty good. I think I'll hang out here a while. Hold on to your lives and testants(?), it's virus time!

(he starts damaging the things around him, eating and kicking them 14:50)
(clipped to Clarissa sleeping, there are knocks on her door and she wakes up 14:57)

Clarissa: Ugh, what a nightmare.

(she notices the knocks on her door so she gets out of the bed and walks to it 15:01)

Clarissa: Who is it?

(she opens the door, Ferguson appears with a mask and a hammer and has nailed the sign "Quarantine" on her door 15:05)

Clarissa: Get lost Fergwad.

Ferguson: Don't get close, you'll infect me.

(she coughs at him and then closes the door 15:13)
(end of scene 15:16)
(in her room, she is with the fishes 15:17)

Clarissa to the fish: Hey guys, we had a lot more fun than they had at school, didn't we?

(ladder hits 15:22)

Clarissa: Hi Sam.

Sam: Hey. How are you and the three fish-scateers(fishketeers?)?

Clarissa: We're holding up. How was school?

Sam: Great. Hey, do you know anyone with a drumset?

Clarissa: Buster Billington(?) has got a set in his garage. What's it for?

Sam: Ancient Greece day.

Clarissa: I thought you had to play the clay flute.

Sam: They've changed Ancient Greece day. They're bringing it into the nineties. We're going to shake, rattle and rock and roll.

Clarissa: I didn't know Mrs. Engleberger was into rocking and rolling.

Sam: She's not. Mrs. Engleberger is home sick with some kind of Chinese Setuan(?) virus or something.

Clarissa: Wow, I guess it is going around.

Sam: Yea, and Mr. Futtstein is in charge now and it's going to be cool. He's trying to get Queen Mattifa(?) to perform in the Parthenon, all the pillar get to sing backup.

Clarissa: No way.

Sam: Yea, and I get to play whatever instrument I want.

Clarissa: Sam...

Sam: Mr. Futtsteen says it's the spirit of music that counts.

Clarissa: I can't miss Queen Mattifa(?).

Sam: But you're sick.

Clarissa: But I made myself get sick, so I'll just have to make myself get better. Do you know any cures?

Sam: My grandmother says a sink losangs(?) washed down with castra(?)-oil and chicken-lard(?) works miracles. Of course it tastes like pans(?)-gum.

Clarissa: Eew. Maybe it's a mental thing. You know, like biofeedback. I'm getting well, I'm feeling well, I'm really well, I'm really really well. Atshu!

Sam: Well, if all else fails there's one sure fire-method you could try.

Clarissa: What's that?

Sam: Fake it.

Clarissa: That's what you said about getting sick.

Sam: Hey, when you have a great idea, stick with it.

(in the living room, Marshall is doing sit-ups and Janet is sewing something 16:53)

Marshall: Uhh... ahh.. there, oh... I just did a hundred sit-ups.

Janet: Aha.

Marshall: Ok, 72, but I feel like a million bucks(??). Hey, what do you say, we go out to dinner as a special treat?

Janet: Marshall, we shouldn't go out for dinner if you're dieting.

Marshall: Oh, I'll order a salat.

Janet: Then why go out for dinner? I'll make you a nice healthy salat at home.

Marshall: Oh yea, but what about the packing of basket of warm bread and the self shead(?) set of butter?

Janet: Marshall!

Marshall: Oh, yea.

(Clarissa enters 17:26)

Janet: Clarissa, what are you doing out of bed?

Clarissa: Oh, I'm feeling much better.

Janet: Really?

Marshall: Are you sure your ok?

Clarissa: I'm fine. Atsh...

(she tries to hide the sneeze with a pad 17:35)

Janet: Back to bed, Clarissa.

Clarissa: But I feel great. Cough! Cough!..

Marshall: Ah, ah, you shouldn't be up with that cough.

Clarissa: Cough? What cough? Cough! cougha! cougha! I was just laughing because I have my health back, Cough! cough! cough! I love the healthy feeling. Cough!...

(Ferguson enters 17:52)

Ferguson: This is an outrage! Ancient Greece day has been ruined by a philistine. I don't even get to sit on Mount Olympics anymore.

Clarissa: You don't?

Ferguson: I've been replaced by the recroppolists(?). Doesn't Mr. Futtstein know that Zeus's the king of the god?

Clarissa: Don't you mean king of the suck-ups? Mom, I have to go to school tomorrow, the Parthenon needs me.

Marshall: Sport, you are not going anywhere with that fever.

Clarissa: But I'm normal.

Ferguson: Hah! That's a laugh.

(Janet feels her head 18:05)

Janet: You still feel warm to me.

Marshall: I'll get the cough-syrup.

Janet: And I'll bring you a nice big bowl of pudding.

Marshall: Pudding? What flavour of pudding? Oh, I'm just curious. You shouldn't talk about pudding like that, how else am I supposed to stand the diet?

Janet: Marshall, I never wanted to run your diet. If you wanna lose weight, you're gonna have to lose it yourself!

Marshall: Jeez, dieting certainly makes her cranky.

(end of scene 18:38)
(in her room, Janet knocks on the door, then opens and looks briefly on the sign Ferguson put up before entering 18:39)

Janet: I've spoken with Dr. Fersterspoon. I'm sorry dear, but it seems that this setuan(?) flu is rampant. Even Doris Datz at the Museum has got it, you have to stay in bed, dear.

Clarissa: But mom, I can't miss Queen Matifa(?) on Ancient Greece day.

Janet: I'm sorry sweetheart, but Ferguson will give you a full report.

(she leaves 19:00)

Clarissa to us: Oh, great, now I have something to live for. Hey, it's not like I don't know how to amuse myself when I'm sick. I've been totally swamped with a ton of stimulating activities.

(clipped to her building a tower with pills 19:14)

Clarissa: First, I've played pill-stack. That kept me occupied for at least an hour.

(the tower falls down 19:20)
(clipped to her with lots of filled glasses in front of her 19:22)

Clarissa: Then there was fun with fluids. What was that an earthquake of musical fun.

(she plays on the glasses with a spoon and creates an amazing concert... 19:27)
(clipped to her talking to the phone 19:39)

Clarissa: Finally, I made a few important phone calls to everyone's answer machines.

Clarissa from scene: Hi Jody, guess you're in school, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm not, because I'm sick. (beep!) Hi Sophy(?), guess what. I'm sick and you're not. (beep!) Hi Mrs. Selma, this is Clarissa Darling. You probably don't remember me from pre-school but I just wanted to tell you that I'm sick.

(clipped back 19:57)

Clarissa: Bored?? Who's bored?? Do I look bored?? I'm not bored! I'm going crazy!

(she walks to the fishtank 20:03)

Clarissa to the fish: Willy? Hey Willy, what's going on in there? So you want to get out, huh, kid? I know the feeling. You feel trapped, want to cut lose, escape. Hey, that's it. I may be going to Ancient Greece day after all.

(she takes the phone and dials 20:26)

Clarissa to the phone: Hi Sam. No, the fish are fine. Yes, Mookie ate all his food. I've got a plan to get to Ancient Greece day. Yea, I need a few supplies, here's what you do...

(we don't get to hear the plan, poor us... 20:36)
(clipped to her parents in her room, she's in bed 20:38)

Janet: Now here are phone numbers for your fathernee(?), the sofarsteens(?), Dr. Festerspoon, the...

Clarissa: Mom, we've been through this.

Marshall: And make sure you drink plenty of liquid, sport.

Clarissa: I know, I know.

(Ferguson enters in a funky outfit 20:48)

Ferguson: Hey, I'm gonna be late for Ancient Greece day.

Janet: Alright. Bye, Clarissa.

Clarissa: Bye.

Marshall: Get well, sport.

Clarissa: Thanks.

(they leave 20:58)
(Clarissa takes the cover off and we see she's not planning on staying in bed 20:59)
(Ferguson enters and she manages to put the cover back on 21:01)

Ferguson: I'll send your regards to Queen Fatifa.

Clarissa: Get lost, Fergbreath.

(Marshall drags him out and closes the door 21:08)
(she continues 21:10)

Clarissa: Oh, finally.

(ladder hits 21:15)

Sam: Ok, are you sure you want to do this?

Clarissa: Of course I'm sure, Sam. I'm a pillar, a pillar is steadfast and dependable.

Sam: Ok then, right this way.

Clarissa: One minute.

(she prepares the bed, so it seems someone is sleeping in it, and activates a tape recorder playing a mixture of snores and coughs 21:29)

Clarissa: There, that should do it.

Sam: Wow, I'm in the presence of a mastermind.

Clarissa: Naturally. Come on, let's go.

(they leave through the window 21:45)
(in the front yard, Sam is whistling 21:54)

Clarissa: Sam, you're making too much noise.

Sam: What difference does it make? Noone's here.

Clarissa: Shh! Stop.

Ferguson off screen: Now I'm really gonna be late.

Clarissa: It's mom and dad, quick, lets go to the back.

Marshall: Ferguson, we're all gonna be late.

Ferguson: Hurry, my cloud is coming undone.

Janet: Ferguson, this will only take a second.

(they go into the house 22:12)
(Sam and Clarissa enter through the backdoor into the kitchen 22:16)

Sam: That was close.

(Clarissa goes to the kitchen door that leads to the dining room and listens in what's going on the other side 22:19)

Clarissa: I think I hear them leaving.

(the door suddenly opens and Clarissa has to hide behind it 22:26)

Ferguson: I can't believe my cloud is coming appart.

Janet: Calm down Ferguson, I'll just patch it up.

(when the door closes Clarissa has nowhere to hide so she is discovered 22:32)

Janet: Clarissa? What are you doing out of bed?

(Clarissa does a "tada" gesture 22:34)

Clarissa: Hi mom. I'm just getting a little juice.

Marshall: I see, Sam, what are you doing here?

Sam: Well, I....

Clarissa: Sam was just helping me.

Sam: That's right. I was in the neighbourhood and with Clarissa being sick and all I thought I'd stop by.

Janet: And your clothes and the school bags?

Clarissa: Oh, that.

Sam: Oh, see... I was taking her books to school because they got lonely for the other books.

Marshall: We get the picture.

(he looks at his watch 23:00)

Sam: Look at the time. Well, I got to be going. Bye.

Clarissa: Bye, Sam.

(he leaves 23:05)

Janet: Now upstairs to bed.

Clarissa: Mom, dad, you have to let me go to school. I can't miss this. If you let me go to Ancient Greece day I'll stay home for the rest of my life. Everyone will be there.

Janet: Clarissa...

Clarissa: Please! You're not gonna let me go??

Marshall: Clarissa, when you're sick, you're sick, and you know what, sport?

Clarissa: I know, I'm still, atshu!, sick.

Marshall: Yea, bingo.

Janet: Bless you. There will be lots of other pageants.

Marshall: I'll tell you what, you go up to bed, and I'm going to rent you any video that you want.

Clarissa: Little Mermaid? And Beetlejuice?

Marshall: You got it.

Janet: And I'll bring you a nice big bowl of icecream.

Clarissa: Peanut butter swirl?

Janet: Peanut butter swirl it is.

Ferguson: Oh, what do I get? Mom, dad, I think I'm coming down with something. I don't feel very well.

Clarissa: There's no cure for what you have, Fergface.

(end of scene 23:59)
(in the kitchen 23:59)
(Sam enters 24:00)

Clarissa: Hi Sam. How are my favorite fish.

Sam: Mookie's been a little down under the gills but I think this will break him up.

Clarissa: What?

Sam: You know what they say, there's always more fish in the sea. Say hello to Angel.

(he shows her a new fish in a glass 24:11)

Clarissa: She'll put an end on that tored(?) love-triangle.

Sam: So how are you feeling?

Clarissa: Much better. You know Sam, we may be the only two people left in town who don't have the Setuan(?) flu.

Sam: Yea, Mr. Futtstein's still sick. I can't believe they cancelled Ancient Greece day.

Clarissa: Ancient Greece day is history.

(Janet and Marshall enter, apparently sick 24:29)

Clarissa: Hi mom, hi dad.

Marshall: Hey.

Clarissa: I was just gonna bring you guys your fluids.

Janet: Oh...

Marshall: Hey, this liqued diet, it's really working. I'm gonna be in my fighting weight in time for the reunion.

Janet: Have you seen the vapourizer, dear?

Marshall: No.. I haven't.

(the leave and Ferguson appears, also sick 24:44)

Ferguson: Hey, cough!, where's my juice?

Clarissa: Here you are, little brother. Ambrosia, specially brued(?) just for you.

Ferguson: I can't believe you got us all sick.

Clarissa: Well, you may not be king of the gods, but you can still be king of the Kleenex tissues.

Ferguson: Atshu!!

(the end 25:01)