(in front of the house)

Clarissa to us: Embarrassment is my least favorite emotion. So how come the great highway of life is filled potholes and roadbumps that leave you totally red in the face and running for cover? Any activity that registers over 0.5 on the richter scale traumatic humiliation should be banned. Here are some of the leading offenders.

(clipped to a bunch of kids sitting around her in the living room, an embarrassment meter appears on the screen 0:24)

Clarissa: Ok, it's your birthday and all of your friends gather around to watch you open presents. Why do moms have to give you underwear in front of your friends?

(everybody laughs and embarrassment meter goes to half 0:31)
(clipped to her at school 0:33)

Clarissa: And here is one that can turn a good grade into a fate worse than chello lessons.

Teacher: Class, Clarissa wrote a poem so beautiful that I think everyone share it. Clarissa, would you please recite your poem "The Loneliest Tree In The Yard" aloud for the rest of us.

(meter goes to 2/3, 0:50)
(clipped to Marshall talking and Clarissa in the back 0:52)

Clarissa: And then there is the ultimate humiliation. Suddenly, one day, your father weasels his way into every part of your life. He shows up at school, he hangs out with your friends, it's a fate worse than death. It's career night.

Marshall: Hi, uh, I'm Clarissa's daddy. Isn't my widdle baby girl precious?

(meter goes to max 1:09)
(clipped back 1:10)

Clarissa: My dad's invited to career night. If he goes through with it, I'll start a new career. As an orphan.

(theme song 1:19)
(in her room she is putting some stuff into a bag 2:08)

Clarissa: I'm packing a few things for a long trek among the remote Himalayas. Anything to escape career night psychosis. I've seen them before right in your own home room, ordinary kids who's lifes were ruined after their parents came to speak at career night. Let's take a look at a few case histories.

(clipped to first kid 2:23)

Clarissa: First, there's Marcy Stanford. Your normal, well, just a teenager, until her dad arrived on career night to talk about the joys of being a butcher.

(the men grinds some meat 2:33)

Clarissa: Marcy Stanford, now a cherry bubble gum addict.

(clipped to next kid 2:42)

Clarissa: And what about Bowser Buttinsky, the toughest kid in school. His father speaks about scented candles as a business opportunity. The next day, Bowser develops a passion for flower arranging.

(clipped to 3rd kid 2:54)

Clarissa: And what about sad case of Dora Dillwinker, your normal every day kid pushed over edge by her mom, Dottie, the school bus driver.

Dottie: Driving a school bus... stinks! It's one snot faced brat after another screaming in my ear, defecating in the back seat.

Clarissa: Within a week, Dora breaks the world record for non-stop twitching.

(clipped back 3:17)

Clarissa: I can't stick around and let this happen to me. Besides, I think I hear the call of Tibet.

(ladder hits 3:23)

Clarissa: Hi Sam.

Sam: Mind if I hide out here a while?

Clarissa: Why are you hiding out?

Sam: Dad want's me to go with him to see Mutant Ninja Cheerleaders 5, Pep-rally of Blood.

Clarissa: Your dad wants you to see that movie?

Sam: It's his idea of father-son bonding. You eat popcorn together, you scream together. Later you have nightmares together.

Clarissa: At least your dad's not into humiliating you in front of your friends.

Sam: Still in the grips of your career night nightmare?

Clarissa: I saw dad dusting off his T-square. I'm afraid he said yes.

Sam: When my dad spoke last year it wasn't so bad.

Clarissa: Sam, your dad's a sports writer. He get's to talk about Bo Jackson's trendy new underwears.

Sam: Yea, the football team went wild over him, they invited him to a big party.

Clarissa: Was it fun?

Sam: I wasn't invited.

Clarissa: Let's face it. Career night is always bad news, no matter how it goes.

(she puts the last item in the bag she has been filling while talking to Sam 4:14)

Clarissa: There, that's everything I need to survive six months in the mountains.

Sam: Why don't you just tell him not to go.

Clarissa: He'll never understand.

Sam: Are you kidding? Parents are so sensitive, if you even act the least bit like you don't want him to come, he'd probably real self-conscious and bag it.

Clarissa: You're right. I'll drop a few hints, dad will get so nervous he'll never wanna go. That's brilliant.

Sam: You just have to understand the mind of the parent.

(end of scene 4:38)
(in the kitchen 4:40)

Ferguson: Dad, can I have some money for the Will Mough Octiplex. I'm doing a special report for school on an American film journalist.

Marshall: Oh, what film are you gonna go see Ferguson?

Ferguson: Oh, I'll be reviewing a contemporary tragedy that slashes right to the bone, it's crisis and trauma in the age of horror.

Marshall: Wow.

Clarissa: Dad, he's going to see Mutant Ninja Cheerleaders, Pep-rally of Blood. It's on all the eight screens at the Octiplex.

Janet: Ferguson, you know if you see that movie you'll have nightmares for weeks.

Ferguson: Mom, it's for my essay. Besides, I'm planning to deconstruct the subversive message of the genre.

Marshall: Sorry Ferguson, that film is not for you.

Janet: We'll rent "It's a Wonderful Life" on video. You can write about that.

Ferguson to Clarissa: Thanks nitch-face.

Clarissa to Ferguson: Anytime, toad-turd.

Ferguson: You know mom, there are so many fine books at the library, I think I'll get permission to do my report on a novel.

Janet: What a good idea, Ferguson. I've always wanted to introduce you to the classics. Why don't we start with Moby Dick by Herman Melville. I've got my very own first copy upstairs.

(they two go up 5:38)

Marshall: Say sport, how long are those career night speeches usually?

Clarissa: Uh, fifteen seconds.

Marshall: That seems pretty short.

Clarissa: And did they tell you they're supposed to be in Latin?

Marshall: Latin?

Clarissa: School tradition. Hardly worth the efford, huh dad?

Marshall: Yea, that's tough. But I did learn Latin when I was in grammar school, I'll be able to sneak by. Come on sport.

Clarissa: Dad, I think we have to have a man to man talk.

Marshall: What's on your mind?

Clarissa: Well, this career night is gonna be really difficult.

Marshall: Yea, don't think I haven't thought about that.

Clarissa: Really?

Marshall: Yea, sport, come on, I want to show you something.

(they go into the living room where Marshall keeps all his architect stuff 6:08)

Marshall: When I went to collage I saw my first T-square. That's what drew me into world of architecture and that's why I'm gonna pass it around. You know, when I first saw this funny shape...

Clarissa: Dad, I love that story about your T-square, but I didn't mean...

Marshall: You know what I thought then, I thought I could talk about my first encounter with miniature shrubbery. I love this stuff.

Clarissa: Dad, about career night... I'm... I'm uncomfortable.

Marshall: Oh, something wrong with that chair? Why don't you sit over there.

Clarissa: No dad. I'm uncomfortable about career night and you're being in my school with my friends.

Marshall: Ohh, I get it sport. Don't worry, I'm not gonna play favorites. I know how these things work, you know, I went to school once too.

Clarissa: I just want to tell you how I feel...

Marshall: Sport, I understand.

Clarissa: Ohh, it's so hard...

Marshall: I know what this means...

Clarissa: Yea, but you know...

Marshall: It's just one of the great things about being a father and a daughter. There's no need for heavy feelings.

Clarissa: Right dad. Thanks.

(she looks at us 7:10)

Clarissa to us: I think I'll just stick with that plain old sick feeling.

(end of scene 7:12)
(in her room 7:14)
(ladder hits 7:15)

Clarissa: Hi Sam.

Sam: How did things go with your dad?

Clarissa: Whoever said "Honesty is the best policy" never had to face their dad about career night.

Sam: Well, at least you didn't have to see rivers of blood as ginzu wielding cheerleaders ripped apart the football team.

Clarissa: Scary movie, huh?

Sam: Not really, but dad's a little shook up.

Clarissa: What do you mean?

Sam: He's at home right now, installing a "Do It Yourself" security system.

Clarissa: Was it that bad?

Sam: I think it was the scene where the slime covered mutant teenagers bit off the head of the football coach in his den.

Clarissa: Ouch!

Sam: Yea, he's afraid of teenagers now. He even looks at me a little funny.

Clarissa: Wow. That's great.

Sam: What's great about it?

Clarissa: Mutant teenagers. Imagine, one lone parent, surrounded by a roaring rampaging posse of violent teens on career night.

Sam: The dorky kids at school? They're dumb, but they're not scary.

Clarissa: Dad doesn't know that. Besides, I've got to give dad a major dose of weirdness.

Sam: You could take him to see "Mutant Ninja Cheerleaders".

Clarissa: No. I'm going to give him a private performance. One he'll never forget. Dad, get ready for your worst nightmare, Teenage Mutant Ninja Daughter. Haja!

(end of scene 8:31)
(in the living room, Ferguson is reading some big book 8:38)

Janet: Ferguson, isn't Moby Dick the best book you've ever read?

Ferguson: Well, it's certainly the biggest book, and the longest. It's just page after page after page of stuff about whales.

Janet: Ok, I've got your schedule set. After you finish with Captein Ahab, we can move on to Madame Bovary. I found my old classics club edition for you.

Ferguson: Gee, mom, that's something to look forward to. I'm sure I'll be finished with that in no time.

(Janet goes into the kitchen and Clarissa enter in punk clothes 9:09)
(Clarissa goes to Ferguson and takes some hidden magazine he's reading instead of the big book 9:17)

Clarissa: Hey, I didn't know Captein Ahab was a member of the justice league of super heroes.

Ferguson: Hey, give that back! What happened to you? Hehe, stuck your finger in a socket? Or do you just happen to look particularly lovely tonight?

(Marshall enters 9:30)

Marshall: Come on Ferguson, time for bed. You can read your book up in your room.

Ferguson: Ok dad.

(Ferguson takes the magazine from Clarissa and goes upstairs 9:35)

Marshall: Good night. (to Clarissa) Hey sport.

Clarissa: Hey pop.

Marshall: Clarissa, what happened to you hair?

Clarissa: It's the latest look, pop. We all wear this kind of stuff at school. Here. Hold this a sec.

Marshall: What?

(she puts her chewing gum into his hand 9:50)

Marshall: Ohh...

Clarissa: Thanks old men.

Marshall: Old men? Clarissa, what exactly do you have in your nose?

Clarissa: It's my ring. I'm getting another one for the other nostril. Don't you think they're hatin?

Marshall: Hatin? Oh yea, they're... they're hating alright.

Clarissa: You know dad, sometimes in school all the kids with the nose rings would get together and we chain them up and we pull! Just to see who's nostril get's rip.

Marshall: How horrible. The kids actually to that stuff at school?

Clarissa: Ah, that's nothing. Sometimes, just for fun, we all slam our head against the wall over and over and over, just to see what happens.

Marshall: That's gruesome. Does anything happen?

Clarissa: Well, usually one kid freaks and becomes a screamer.

Marshall: A screamer?

Clarissa: Yea, you know, a screamer. A kid who's obsessed with screaming, at adults, you know, parents. First, he gets your address and phone number, then he tracks you down, and when he finds ya he just screams and screams. Screams!

Marshall: This happens in your school?

Clarissa: Huh, yea.

Marshall: That is the most barbaric thing I've ever heard.

Clarissa: Yea.

Marshall: But, you know, there's something interesting about that wall banging thing.

Clarissa: Yea, you should see the wall.

Marshall: No no, sport I mean, it's... it's like a basic primitive urge toward space relations, which is uhh, you know, the foundation to architecture.

Clarissa: It is?

Marshall: Yes, you know, this is great. I could use this as a starting point to get your generation to start thinking architecturally. Yea, forget the old T-square, ya know, phuh, I had no idea that kids were so... different today.

Clarissa: Hey, dad, kids today aren't just different, they're totally scary. I don't want you to put yourself through that.

Marshall: No you're right, and I appreciate all the trouble you've gone through to show me what kids are like. Clarissa, I understand.

(he puts her chewing gum into her hand 11:38)

Clarissa: Gee, it is such a relief.

(Janet enters 11:45)

Janet: Clarissa, what happened to you?

Marshall: Oh, Janet, she's fine. Clarissa was just preparing me for her classmates. Oh, you really woke me up sport, I've been going about this thing all wrong. I mean, I.. I.. have to be relevant... have to be hip... have to be now. I have to be groovy!

(he goes upstairs and the scene ends 12:05)
(commercials 12:06)
(in her room 12:07)

Clarissa: Ok, career night is almost here. Dad still thinks it's the greatest moments in history since fathers day was declared a national holiday. Me, I'm thinking of taking radical actions. Here are some things I've considered to keep dad from going. First, I could put him into a trance.

(clipped to Marshall reading the paper and Clarissa appears and begins to hypnotize him by swinging a watch back and forth in front of him 12:21)

Clarissa from scene: You will not go to career night, you will not go to career night.

Marshall: I will not go to career night.

Clarissa: Then I considered recovering dad's chair with crazy-glue.

(clipped to Marshall trying to stand up from a chair but his pants are stuck on it 12:34)

Clarissa: And as a last resort, there's always getting him sent to jail on a trumped up charge. Didn't he forget to put the twisties on the garbage bag last week?

(clipped to 2 policemen taking him away 12:44)

Marshall: I'm innocent. I swear.

Cop 1: Save it for the guard, Mr.

Cop 2: Around here, twisties are the law.

Marshall: Ahhhhhhh.

(clipped back 12:59)

Clarissa: With my luck, he'll probably get off in a technicality just in time for career night. What am I going to do? I need advice from someone wise, decisive, and full of common sense. Then again, I could just go talk to mom.

(clipped to the kitchen, Janet is doing some play with food 13:13)

Janet: Hi Mikey, look who's here. Hey everybody, don't forget about me, Betty Brocoli. I provide calcium too. The thing is, we all have to work together.

(Clarissa appears and Janet begins laughing 13:27)

Janet: Hi Clarissa.

Clarissa: Mom, aren't you a little old to be playing with your food like this?

Janet: Clarissa, I'm working on my fun with food groups show for the childrens museum.

Clarissa: Don't forget the chocolate butterscotch food group.

Janet: I've never heard of that one.

Clarissa: It's the food group that makes you feel better when you're down.

Janet: What's the matter dear?

Clarissa: I'm worried about career night.

Janet: Clarissa, you are much too young to be feeling that kind of pressure, there will be plenty of time to choose a career.

Clarissa: No, it's dad's speech.

Janet: Oh, well, he's certainly excited.

Clarissa: That's just it, I don't want to hurt dad's feelings but having him speak at career night is like having your most despised baby pictures splattered all over the lunch room. It's humiliating.

Janet: Why are you so certain that your father will embarass you at career night?

Clarissa: Mom, did your dad ever come to your school?

Janet: Well, my father was different, he was much older, I mean, he was older to me. Oh, I remember one time in high school dad showed up because it was raining.

Clarissa: What happened?

Janet: Well, I was joking in back with Joey, Joey Russo, and dad came stumping into the hallroom wearing this full rain gear and knee boots saying "Janet, don't you forget your rainhat hey, moma will get mad if you get sick".

Clarissa: What did you do?

Janet: I didn't talk to anyone for a week.

Clarissa: See what I mean.

Janet: Well, have you tried telling him how you feel?

Clarissa: Every time I try to talk to dad he gets even more carried away, he's not listening.

Janet: Don't worry Clarissa, I'll talk to him.

Clarissa: You think he'll listen to you?

Janet: Of course, he always does.

(clipped to the living room where Janet is talking to Marshall 15:08)

Janet to Marshall: Are you listening to me?

Marshall: Yea, keep talking honey. I wanna get this ready for career night.

Clarissa: Hi mom, hi dad.

Marshall: Hey sport. Which do you think the kids will relate with more? The drive-in pickle place or the Clips 'n' Curls hair salon? I could add some spiky hair.

Clarissa: Mom...

Janet: Marshall, I've been trying to talk to you about career night. Clarissa and I have discussed it, and she feels that I should try...

Marshall: Janet, I want you to come. Yea, but if you can't make it, I'll have Ferguson videotape the presentation.

Clarissa: Mom!

Janet: Videotaping won't be neccessary.

Marshall: Oh, you're gonna come. Great. Ok, now, let me try some jokes on you.

Clarissa and Janet: Ohhhhhhhhh.

Clarissa: You're not gonna tell jokes too.

Marshall: Oh, just a couple of yuckles to break the ice. Uhm, you know, I used to do stand-up routine in college.

(he clears his throat and starts with the jokes 15:51)

Marshall: Uhhm, did you hear the one about the blueprint that turned green? Yeah, it ate too much bidding costs and got sick. Hehe. Ohh, I guess you have to an architect for that one.

Janet: Marshall, if you tell jokes like that, people will start laughing at you.

Marshall: Well, I certainly hope so.

Janet: They'll laugh at Clarissa too.

Marshall: They will?

Janet: It's embarrassing to have your father come to school and speak old fashion parental lingo to your classmates.

Marshall: Is that right sport?

Clarissa: That's kind of right dad.

Marshall: Well, are you saying that I'm not... cool?

Clarissa: Well...

Janet: You're not cool Marshall, you're very warm.

Marshall: Wow, I hadn't considered this. Uhhhm, I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just have to learn it.

Clarissa: Hey, dad, you know... you can't learn cool, you have to live it.

Marshall: Wow, sport, far out! That's great. That is a great idea. "I have to live it", and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

Clarissa: You are?

Marshall: Yea.

Janet: Dear, what are you saying?

Marshall: Well, all I have to do, is just hang out, and live... being cool. And who could be better cooler to hang out with than... my own daughter.

Clarissa: Oh, no.

Marshall: Ahh, boy, I love my family. You guys... you're the best.

Janet: Ahh, Marshall, I think we have to talk.

(end of scene 17:20)
(in her room, she runs to the door and holds it closed 17:21)

Clarissa to us: My dad's turned into a monster and there's nowhere to hide.

(clipped to Marshall, a Frankenstein like film where Marshall is the monster 17:27)

Clarissa: He's back, he talks louder, he looks stupider. He doesn't listen to a word you say. Can this really be your dad?

Marshall: That's truly bodacious dude.

Clarissa: Splatter films presents "Dad From Hell!". Watch as an innocent teenage daughter is humiliated when her dad weares the turtle neck.

Clarissa from scene: Oh, no, not the turtle neck! (screams!!! 17:47)

Clarissa: He's polyester, he's cornball, he's your dad.

Marshall: Clarissa? Clarissa? Where's my precious little baby girl?

(Marshall is by her room and begins knocking on the door 18:02)

Clarissa: He's coming soon, to make your life a living nightmare.

(clipped back, she screams more 18:10)
(Marshall enters 18:12)

Marshall: Is everything ok sport?

Clarissa: Uh, sure.

(Marshall puts on some black sunglasses 18:16)

Marshall: Ready to hang out.

Clarissa: Right dad.

Marshall: Yea, just go ahead and do what you normally do.

Clarissa: Dad, I don't normally hang out with you.

Marshall: Oh, right.

(they do nothing for a while 18:33)

Marshall: Hey, I know, we could listen to some record albums.

Clarissa: Records are kind of vintage dad.

Marshall: Oh, of course, you know, I meant to say CDs. Have any Gordon Lightfoot?

Clarissa: What's a Gordon Lightfoot?

(ladder hits 18:49)

Clarissa: Hi Sam.

Sam: Hi. Oh, hi Mr Darling.

Marshall: Yo Sam, what's the vibe?

Sam: Is the light bothering your eyes Mr Darling?

Marshall: Huh? No. Oh... shades, you know.

Clarissa: Dad's hanging out with us, he's learning... coolness.

Sam: Ohh, hey... that's awesome.

Clarissa: Isn't it though.

Marshall: So don't let me bother you, just do what cool things you normally do.

Sam: Hey, Clarissa, wheren't we going rollerblading?

Marshall: Rollerblading? Is that a new razer?

Sam: Well, it's...

Marshall: Oh, Sam, you look a little young to be shaving, you know?

(funny sound is played 19:27)

Marshall: Boy, this reminds me of my first day at school. When I meet new kids I'd never now what to say.

Sam: Yea, same things happens to me all the time.

Marshall: Yea? And when you finally say something... you can't believe how stupid it sounds.

Sam: That's right, so you shut up until everyone's forgotten you exist.

Marshall: That's right. And your clothes, I used to get so hung up about what I was going to wear.

Clarissa: What are you two talking about???

Sam: Yea, like I've always wanted to wear those big hammerpants. Every time I tried on a pair, it just felt stupid.

Marshall: Hey, Sam, let's go get something we thought we'd never wear.

Sam: Cool!

Marshall: Oh, I'll get my keys.

Clarissa: Sam?

Marshall: Hey, sport, you wanna go to the mall with us?

Clarissa: No.

(he heads to the door but stops 20:12)

Marshall to Clarissa: Check ya out later.

(they go and Clarissa does a funny pose 20:16)

Clarissa: That's it. This has gone too far. I have to go over dad's head and put a stop on this. Mom!!!

(she goes out of the room and end of scene 20:25)
(in the kitchen 20:26)
(Ferguson, wearing a beard, peeks into the kitchen 20:27)
(he tryes to sneak behind Clarissa 20:33)

Clarissa: Hold it right there, Fergbreath.

Ferguson: Do I know you young lady?

Clarissa: Ferguson, if you think you're gonna get into the movie like that, forget it. You don't look older, you just look uglier.

Ferguson: Wait until they see my fake ID.

(he hands her some ID 20:49)

Clarissa: Alfred Dolt? Born 1949?

Ferguson: I was a warbaby.

(Janet enters 20:54)

Janet: Ferguson, I have a copy of Crime and Punishment of you. You're certainly ploughing through these classics.

Ferguson: Ohh, yes mom. Whenever I'm reading one... I just can't wait to finish.

Janet: Ferguson, what is that on your face?

Ferguson: ..... Nothing mom.

Clarissa: Just a fake beard.

Janet: Why would you be wearing a beard?

Ferguson: Well, you see mom, it's because I don't wanna just read the classic novels, I wanna look like the writers too. Right now... I'm feeling very... (he looks at the book he's holding)... Dostoevsky. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll take my book and read outside.

(he leaves 21:31)

Janet: Clarissa, I talked to your father and you don't have to worry about career night.

Clarissa: He's gonna cancel?

Janet: Well... he's still a little sensitive, but I don't think he'll do anything to embarrass you.

(loud music starts 21:43)

Janet: What in the world?

Clarissa: It's coming from the living room.

(they go to the living room, Sam is in some funny clothes 21:49, this music can be downloaded here )

Sam sings:

Five, six, seven, eight! Here comes a man who's a friend of mine. He's all the way live 'cause he's got the rhyme. So throw ya hands up in the air. Let's all jam to M-T-Square!

(Marshall enters also in some funky clothes 22:03)

Marshall sings:

From the Roman Coliseum to the modern art museums, I'm here to teach you that you can reach to. That form follows function, and that is the key. You've just got to think architecturally. Get live, Sam!

(they dance a little 22:14)

Sam sings: He's gonna build your house!

Marshall sings: I'm gonna build your house!

Both sing:

Architects build your house! Da house! Da house! Da house! Da...

Clarissa: I can't take this!

(she stops the tape 22:41)

Clarissa: Stop!

Marshall: So sport, what do you think?

Clarissa: Dad, I don't want you to go to career night.

Marshall: What, I thought we where doing really...

Janet to Sam: I think you and I should go into the kitchen, and get some lemonade.

(they go 22:51)

Clarissa: Dad, how would you have felt if your dad showed up in your school wearing some ridiculous outfit.

Marshall: Oh sport, my dad was different, I mean, he was much older, older than me. Well he was so squere.... Oh, I see.... I guess I hoped our relationship was different.

Clarissa: But you're my dad, not some kid in school.

Marshall: Oh, that's ok. That's alright. Uhhm... I guess we got to forget about this career night, I got carried away.

Clarissa: Are you sure?

Marshall: Yea, that's ok, yea, you know, I liked the idea of seeing your school and sharing what I do with your friends.

Clarissa: Dad...

Marshall: Hey, it's alright, I don't have to go, it's ok.

Clarissa: Oh, I don't know, I guess, with all the dweeby parents we had to speak with us, it wouldn't be bad to have someone with something cool to say, architecturally speaking I mean.

Marshall: So, should I wear the pants?

Clarissa: Dad...

Marshall: Yea, I know. You know, I think I got them on backwards.

They both sing: Da house, da house...

Clarissa: No....

(end of scene 23:51)
(in the living room, Clarissa and Marshall enter through the front door 23:52)

Janet: So, how did it go?

Marshall: Great.

Clarissa: Dad's Gherkins a Go-Go model was a big hit.

Marshall: Yea, the kids asked some terific questions. You know, I think there's an architect or two in that crowd, don't you sport?

(ding dong 24:04)
(Clarissa walks to the door 24:06)

Clarissa: Yea, most of the kids thought dad was so cool they didn't even mind that he kept hugging his T-squere.

(she opens the door, a policeman enters with Ferguson 24:09)

Clarissa: Ferguson?

Ferguson: Where are they? Keep those pom-poms away from me.

Policeman: Excuse me, is this your son?

Janet to Ferguson: Ferguson, are you alright?

Marshall to Ferguson: Son, what happened?

Policeman: We found him outside the Will Mough Octiplex. He was acting a little strange.

Clarissa: Ferguson always acts that way.

Ferguson: Don't let them touch me.

Policeman: Just keep him away from the Octiplex until he turns 17, or until they stop showing Mutant Ninja Cheerleaders, whichever comes first.

Janet: Ferguson, we told you not go see that movie.

Marshall: Thank you officer, we'll take care of this.

Policemen: Yea, you folks have an outstanding evening.

(the men goes 24:36)

Ferguson: Get away, get away.

Janet: Now Ferguson, listen to me. Everything's gonna be alright.

Marshall: Yea, it's just a silly movie.

(Clarissa looks out of window 24:42?)

Clarissa: Hey, what are those cheerleaders doing outside?

Ferguson: Cheerleaders? Ahhhhhhhh!!!

(he runs upstairs 24:51)

Janet: Clarissa....

Clarissa: Sorry mom, I don't know what came over me.

(she laughs and looks at us 24:56)
(the end 24:58)