WARNING! MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!

I'm sure you're all familiar with the Star Wars universe. I won't bother to explain anything from previous Episodes. Attack of the Clones starts around 10 years after The Phantom Menace. Senator Amidala AKA Padme AKA One Hot Babe is being stalked by an assassin (and BradRock). The Jedi agree to help and send Obi-Wan and apprentice Anakin to protect her. Even though they have been apart for a while Anakin still has feelings for Padme. His mind is clouded with emotions and such, so says Obi-Wan. They stop a death threat late at night and follow the assailant who promptly gets killed by the main assassin Jango Fett. Obi-Wan tracks Jango to a very remote planet while Anakin has been assigned to protect Padme as she returns back to Naboo. Obi-Wan discovers that a dead Jedi master had placed an order for a clone army on the planet that he tracked Jango to (the clones were modeled after Jango). He duels with Jango and little Boba Fett for a while, but before the Fetts can escape Obi-Wan places a homing device on the Slave I. Meanwhile, Anakin is still having feelings for Padme, but is also having nightmares about his mother in torment. He travels back to Tatooine, Padme and R2 with him, and they find out that Shmi Skywalker has been sold to a man named Lars (!!!). He has apparently set her free and married her. Mr. Lars (I forget his first name) had had a son from a previous marriage (so I assume since the son looks older than Anakin) named Owen Lars who has a girlfriend, which turns out to be future uncle and aunt to Luke Skywalker (this is where you say "Aaahh..."). Anyway, Shmi had been captured by Tusken Raiders and Anakin goes off to save his mother. She dies in his arms and Anakin gets very, very vengeful; all this and a few other things foreshadowing future Darth Vader. Afterwards they recieve a message from Obi-Wan who tracked Jango to some industrial planet, and then he gets captured by Master Dooku AKA Darth Tyrannus. Anakin relays the message to the Jedi Council who in turn advise the Republic to make use of the Clone Army. Anakin and Padme (along with R2 and now C-3PO) arrive to save Obi-Wan, but end up getting captured as well. They are put into an overly elaborate and exotic death (execution by giant alien creatures) but manage to live. It looked as if Dooku was going to get Jango to kill them, but then Mace Windu and some other Jedi arrive to save the day (and kill Jango sadly, who was a pretty neat character). Dooku sends in a droid army to take care of them, but then Yoda arrives with the Clone Army. While the Clone Army fights the droid army, Anakin and Obi-Wan follow Dooku, who returned to base in order to retrieve the Death Star plans which he hopes to take to Darth Sidious. Anakin and Obi-Wan duel him, but they are no match, Anakin loses an arm in the process. And surprise, surprise, Yoda comes in for a fight. The little green dude kicks some major ass, but Dooku still gets away. In the end, the Clone Army is still being instituted by the Republic and it looks as if Anakin and Padme get married. And that's the end of Episode II. Phew.

Now, I have a lot to complain about in this movie. It was definitely worth seeing for eye candy, but Episode II just doesn't live up to the first trilogy. The first trilogy gave you a feeling of being far, far away from our time, many years in the future. There looked as if there were almost no connections to Earth history. But in Episode II, it just didn't feel very far off into the future. For one thing, it may be that technology in our time has shot up, while in Episode II, the technology is supposedly less high tech then in the first trilogy. Another thing is that Obi-Wan walks into a diner in one scene, a diner that had the look and feel of our old diners. A robot even asks if Obi-Wan wants a cup of Joe, a slang that would have probably died out already, not to mention that coffee might not exist in the future. It's little things like this that make Ep. II seem closer to home, something that wasn't true for the first trilogy. What's worse is that Jar Jar still has appearances in this episode. He may not be in it much, but he's still there. And he may have even caused the beginning of the Empire! I won't bother explaining that though. Also, there was a head switch between 3PO and a battle droid, something that tries to be comical, but turns out to be horribly stupid. Why they put that in, I do not know. Star Wars should not and never will be known for its comedy. But if you want big Star Wars mysteries revealed then this is the movie for you. It answers age old questions about Anakin and Padme, who Owen Lars is, and the biggest mystery of all: how Yoda would look fighting with a lightsaber. And boy, I've got to tell you, Yoda can kick your ass. In short, it's not amazing considering other Star Wars movies, but I think it's still worth your money.