Angel Arms

The wind blew across the rooftop, a cold ominous breeze. The door opened and she stepped out. Her name is Sherry O'Brian. She shivered a little, not because it was cold, but because she was afraid. She didn't come up to the gray, concrete rooftop of the ten story parking lot for the view. She came up here to do something. She came up here to end her life. Sherry walked up to the edge of the parking lot and looked over the railing to the ground below. Her breathing became nervous and erratic. Slowly she climbed over the railing, her reasons for doing this going over in her mind again and again, reassuring her that this was reasonable.

She thought about how no one in the world cared about her. Her parents wouldn't give a damn if she killed herself. They wouldn't even notice because she was the "ignored middle child". All they ever talked about was how little Crissy was doing in her math class, or how Rena was going to be graduating from college in a few months. Never about encouraging Sherry when she was trying out for the school cheerleader's team, or congratulating her for getting straight A's in school, or ask how she was when she had broken her arm last spring. Nobody at all cared about her.

She thought about these reasons as she squatted down on the cold concrete floor. She was right in doing this. There could be something better in the afterlife. Maybe she'd be someone beautiful instead of the ugly person she is right now. Her brown hair was in messy double braids, she wore thick glasses, pimples were starting to sprout on her face, and she had a scrawny body. It seemed that nobody liked her. Even the worst geeks at her school had at least a group of good friends, but she barely had a couple. There was this one boy she really liked, but he never paid any attention to her either. Then one day she saw him kissing Stephanie Walker, the prettiest girl at their school. Her heart was broken, the pieces falling to the floor like glass and cutting at her feet every time she would try to take a step towards him, to at least say "Hi," to him. Tears started forming in her eyes. She wiped at the tears with the sleeve of her favorite jacket, but her thick glasses got in the way. Frustrated, she took the glasses off and threw them behind her. She wasn't going to need them where she was going.

Jump. A voice inside her head said to her. She had often thought that she was crazy, sometimes hearing voices from within. They told her to do things, bad things like cut herself or hurt others. She'd always ignored them, but this time it was so strong. She didn't know if she had the will to resist them anymore.
Jump! The commanding voice shouted this time. Sherry rose up a little on shaky legs, holding on to the railing for support. She wanted to jump, but she wanted to do it when she was ready.

A few more reasons flashed inside of her mind, pushing her a little closer to the edge. There was that day. It was about 3 weeks ago. Sherry had come home depressed as usual and her little sister had come into her room to try and cheer her up. But Sherry was not in the mood for anything. Crissy kept trying, kept asking questions like "What's wrong?" and "How can I help?" Finally Sherry's anger exploded into something she would never forgive herself for. She slapped Crissy across the head and she fell to the floor. Immediately Sherry got up and said she was sorry. Tears streamed down her eyes and all she did was hold her sister and cry tears of shame while Crissy hugged back and whispered "It's okay," over and over again.

Crissy.... Sherry dried her tears and thought things over. A slender bit of doubt crawled into her thoughts. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to kill herself. Crissy had always understood her. They always had a special bond together, helping each other out in times of need.

Who would take care of Crissy if I died? Mom and dad would be too busy at work and Rena's still in college, she wouldn't have time either. There was someone out there who cared about her, who would care if she committed suicide. And she didn't want Crissy to be affected by this; she didn't want her thinking that it was her fault.

Do you think they'll actually care? No one cares for you! The only way you can make them care is if you jumped! The voice shouted at her again. Sherry put her hands up to her head. It was so loud this time; it had never been this loud before.

Jump! You have no future in this world! Jump! It was so loud. She couldn't block them out. Sherry screamed as they just got louder and more numerous.

Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! JUMP!

As the voices screamed flashes of her memory flew through her mind. Scenes of heartbreak, of hatred, of pain, of everything that had ever gone wrong in her life. She fell to a crouch, covering her ears, closing her eyes tightly, tears streamed down her face. The voices and the memories were too strong. Her will to live was losing.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Sherry screamed. Finally, she did it. Her feet pushed off of the concrete building. In a split-second other memories flashed before her eyes. But these were not hurtful in anyway. These were all her good memories. There was family picnic, her 12th birthday party, reunions, sisterly talks, late night comedies on the television, everything that made her smile, and laugh, and happy. Then a different voice spoke. It wasn't loud or commanding, but it was so clear. It overpowered all the other, angrier voices. It whispered one word:

Live.

Suddenly she regretted everything she was doing. All of this was so wrong. The good memories outweighing the bad ones by so, so much. She wanted to follow what that voice said. She wanted to live. But it was too late. Her body was freefalling, it was going to go over the edge and nothing she could do would stop her. What could she do?

I want to live! I don't want to die anymore! Somebody, anybody help! She shouted to no one in her mind. Her silent prayer was going to go unheard. But suddenly she stopped. Sherry felt a jerk at her shoulders and she hung in midair. Her feet were still on the concrete building, but her body was leaned over the edge. Sherry started crying. Her arms fell freely, gravity pulling them down, her body still suspended somehow. But she didn't care how. All she cared about now was the she was alive. Whatever it was that caught her she was thankful, and she knew that she was meant to live. Slowly Sherry looked behind her, expecting to see a glowing white angel holding onto her shoulders. A smile crept across her face and she choked out a small chuckle. All she saw was her jacket. Its hood had looped around a support post when she crouched down. She didn't even realize this until she looked back. Now there was a whole new reason for why this was her favorite jacket. Sherry pulled herself back to the rails of the parking lot, watchful of the stitching on the hood of her jacket. Luckily, they held. Carefully she climbed back from the edge to safer ground. Her head was spinning from her near death. Boy, was she going to have a story to tell Crissy when she got back home. Sherry walked back to the door that led to the stairs and picked her glasses up as she walked past them. She smiled. It seemed as if all of her tragedies were torn from her during the near fall.