Our speaker was the lovely newlywed Melanie Johnson Fowler, a counselor at Catholic High school and an associate of Dr. Ana Byrne. Melanie�s work with kids with learning differences has made her an understanding counselor that we know will help students at Catholic High school.
Melanie recommended a positive parenting approach by Dr. Russell Barkley and gave several tips about how to accomplish that goal, giving us a handout.
Melanie talked to us stressed parents about carving out a �special time� with our child, twenty minutes a day of positive attention. This special time doesn�t have to be expensive�a walk, a bike ride, playing a game of the child�s choosing, anything that allows you to spend quality time with your child. The time is for parents NOT to ask questions�don�t ask �why did you use that color, or why didn�t you choose Lego's� It is a time to positively reinforce your child with honest compliments, and let the child direct the time together. If the child starts to misbehave, stop the special time for that day.
Melanie reminded us to try to avoid negative attention. Our children have enough negatives in their life. Try to compliment and support their successes. Melanie used the analogy of two bosses and got us to think about the worst boss we ever had, and then the best boss we ever had. Melanie encouraged us to be that �best boss� for our children.
On the handout she gave us were some great reminders for us parents of nonverbal signs of Approval:
Hug
Pat on the head or shoulder
Affectionate rubbing of hair
Placing arm around child
Smiling
A light kiss
Giving a �thumbs up sign�
A wink
Verbal approval:
I like it when you�.
It�s nice when you �..
That was terrific the way you handled�..
Great job
Nice going
Terrific
Super
Fantastic
You know, six months ago you couldn�t do that as well��.
Beautiful
Wow
Wait until I tell your mom/dad how nice you�..
What a nice thing to do
Way to go
We need to make sure that we don�t concentrate on just their dyslexia, or their poor grades!
School is in session and the anguish we parents feel has ramped up again. Melanie listened sympathetically to several of us pour out our hearts about our kids. Having a child with a learning difference has more impact on a family that people realize or understand. We appreciate Melanie�s suggestions and her time to talk to us.
Thanks Melanie