Sara tiredly unlocks her apartment door. Watching the remaining six men be brought in had been unsettling. Normally an arrest is satisfying and brings a welcome closure to the family, but the lack of motivation behind this crime is disturbing. It’s like the mind just cannot wrap itself around the concept. She shuts the door behind herself and throws her keys on the counter. Maybe I should have gone to Grissom’s. The idea of a shower and appeasing her drooping eyelids make the point moot. She smiles at the thought of falling asleep on Grissom’s couch again. She really isn’t sure how long the peace with Grissom is going to last. Why is he being so open? Perhaps he’s just glad that someone can understand him. She shakes her head at how slow the conversation actually was. I really need to get a more comprehensive book. Spelling all the technical terms out is frustrating. Her momentary lapse into thought is stopped by a knock on the door.
She opens the door to find her building supervisor standing there with a plant.
“This was delivered for you earlier,” he explains.
“Thanks,” she replies, wondering why Grissom would send her another plant. He hadn’t done anything stupid lately that she new of.
“And tell your boyfriend not to have anymore plants delivered in the middle of the night,” he continues grumpily.
“Sorry, he can be so inconsiderate at times,” Sara responds and shuts the door when he walks away.
She opens the card and begins to read: I know you haven’t eaten. Come over. From Grissom.
Sara’s stomach rumbles. I guess sleep can wait.
She takes a quick shower and then packs a bag, figuring she would probably fall asleep on his couch again.
Across town Grissom is sitting seemingly calm watching television. However, on the inside he is very unsure. The plant had been an act of desperation; he really didn’t want to be alone in the silence. He ponders whether this is an excuse just to see her. He also isn’t sure if Sara is going to show up. The temporary truce has made Grissom realize how much he has missed Sara, but that only made his uneasiness worse.
Grissom turns off the television and picks up a book to read. He has given up on staring at the door. Sara would come or she wouldn’t
A short period of time later Sara once again stands in front of Grissom’s door. She hadn’t intended on bringing her bag up to his apartment, but after the car ride over she wanted to make it clear to Grissom that she is staying. She had drifted off twice on the way over despite the short drive and her blaring radio. She opens the door slowly wondering if she is going to be greeted with a similar sight to last time.
However, the setting is completely different. Grissom is sitting on the couch reading with his glasses perched on his nose. Sara sets her bag down and then plops onto the couch beside Grissom. His book goes flying and he attempts to recover from the shock. Sara places her hand on Grissom’s shoulder to steady him. Both of them are caught off guard by their reactions to the touch. They are frozen for a moment. Neither of them is sure what to do. They had decided to ignore “this” for a while, but now it is staring them in the face.
“It is not nice to sneak up on someone,” Grissom signs.
Sara smiles, the tension in the room has evaporated, “Where is my food?”
Grissom smiles slightly at her directness, “In the refrigerator. With you, I could have been waiting for days.”
“What is that suppose to imply?”
“You work too much,” he stands up and moves to the kitchen. The vegetarian dish would only take a few minutes to rewarm.
Sara makes her way to the kitchen table, obviously fighting sleep. The adrenalin that had woken her up a few minutes ago is vanishing quickly.
“Sara, are you alright?”
“Just tired,” She signs without energy.
Grissom raises an eyebrow.
Sara knows full well what that meant “We closed a high profile case this morning.”
“That may, for once, excuse the overtime, but not forgetting to eat.”
“I am eating now if you would just hurry up. You are not going to give me the get a diversion speech again, are you?”
“No, it did not have the desired effect the first time.”
“And what was that suppose to be?”
“Obviously not what happened,” Grissom turns back to the oven. He had hoped to repair some of the damage, not rehash it.
Sara growls quite audibly, not that Grissom can hear her. Sara is very frustrate and cranky to top it off. He’s going to have to turn around eventually.
Grissom does turn around, but only to set the dish of food of the table. The tension in the room is heavy and very negative.
Sara tries to eat, but throws her silverware down in defeat, “I cannot eat like this.”
“Sara, I cannot erase the past.”
She sighs. He’s right, but damn his emotional detachment. “I just want to know why it happened.”
“My reasonings were selfish, but they seemed logical at the time. I cannot take responsibility for your decisions.”
Cryptic, but I guess I can’t blame him for my bad judgment. “Why were you upset with me the night of cannibal cheerleader case?”
“I was not angry with you.”
Sara raises an eyebrow.
“If you recall the night, we were undermanned and over worker. I would have been frustrated with anyone who did not answer my pages.”
“Then why did you send me out alone? Punish me?”
Grissom looks confused, “It was not supposed to be a punishment. I trusted you to be able to handle the case on your own.”
“And you did not tell me this when I asked because…”
“You never gave me a chance. You vanished.”
The sleep deprivation, the unsettling case, emotional frustration, and this new revelation come crashing down on Sara. The tears silently roll down her face. Grissom stands up and Sara panics that he’s going to leave her alone in misery. However, he walks no further than Sara’s side of the table and holds out his hand. Sara hesitantly grabs his hand and Grissom pulls her into his arms. He lets her cry on his shoulder.
The moments tick by and Grissom begins to contemplate what to do next. If they just stand there, the moment would become awkward. For once, Grissom acts spontaneously. He picks Sara up and carries her to the couch. With some very impressive juggling on his part, especially in his current state of health, he manages to end up spooning her on the couch. Sara doesn’t even try to fight her eyelids and Grissom soon follows.
Sara slowly comes back to consciousness. She feels terrible. Her nose is stuffed from crying and her whole body feels sticky with sweat. She tries to get up, but Grissom’s arms are too tightly wrapped around her. It’s only then that she truly realizes what had happened last night. A small smiles plays across her face, but quickly fades to confusion. What the heck does this mean? Sara doesn’t have the answer and realizes Grissom probably doesn’t either. Her yucky feelingness finally wins out and so she untangles herself to investigate the bathroom.
Grissom wakes with a start. It’s like his body has just registered that Sara is gone, despite the fact that she had gotten up twenty minutes ago. His first thoughts are of where Sara had gone. For a panicked moment he fears that Sara had left, but he sees her car keys still sitting on the kitchen counter. He sighs in relief when he sees that his bathroom door is shut. Grissom begins the task of making breakfast. It gives him a chance to think. “How much have we hurt each other by misunderstandings in the past three years? How many times has someone accused me of not feeling anything? We’re supposed to follow the evidence, not our own feelings. Look at the trouble even a hint of a relationship with Sara caused at the Haviland trial” He sighs and realizes the battle has already been lost. “I want her to be here now and I’m comfortable with her being here. He chuckles a little. Ecklie hasn’t broken down the door yet. A small amount of the boyishness that was so evident in his personality three years ago has now returned. So much of the stress that has darkened his personality in the last year has resolved itself. Surgery complete, Hank gone, Sara here, Work, well they would figure that out. He then does something very unGrissom like. He takes a spare key out of a draw and puts it on Sara’s key ring. Now, I can lock my door again.
Sara emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, happy to find the smell of coffee permeating the room. She smiles at the sight of Grissom carefully setting out plates for them. Grissom smiles weakly back at her, now very unsure in her presence.
“Are you feeding me again?”
“I do not remember you eating much last night.”
Sara sits down, not ready to confront that issue just yet. She is surprised to find a plate of pancakes sitting in front of her. “Where did you get pancakes at?”
“Bisquik”
“You have a box of Bisquik.”
“Yes, Sara I have a box of Bisquik. Is there something significant about that?”
“It means you cook a lot. Bisquik is similar to duct tape.”
“It is very much like an experiment, chemistry.” Grissom sees the look of puzzlement on Sara’s face, “You do not agree?”
“I’m a physicist.”
“Your ID says you are a psychiatrist.”
“Yeah, Grissom I’ve had a real successful career doing that.”
“You are right,” Grissom’s head sinks sadly.
“We are avoiding what we really need to talk about.”
“I know.”
“What did last night mean?”
Grissom picks up has glasses and begins to study them. Somehow thinking they will help him formulate clearer sentences.
“Your glasses are not going to answer the question.”
Grissom starts to laugh, which catches Sara completely off guard.
He manages to look serious again, “Sara just let things progress naturally. Forcing it does not work, obviously.”
Sara’s jaw could not have dropped any further. She was expecting him to ignore the issue or at least put up a fight.
“Do you not have to go to work today?”
Sara nods, but she is still in shock. She moves off in a daze to get ready.
Grissom smiles to himself, but uncertainly soon creeps into the moment. He doesn’t know what will happen when he finally has to return to the real world.
TBC