Chapter 17
After the show, the five of them piled back into the van to take them back to their hotel. Howie and AJ were still both being very quiet, but for very different reasons than before. Before AJ had been trying to keep himself and his emotions separate from the other guys, and Howie had been trying to figure out how to get through to his best friend. Now they were silent because they were both very confused. Howie didn't know what to make of the attention he was getting from AJ. He had been so sure that AJ was going to hate him, and would never look at, let alone speak to him again, yet over the course of the concert, he had felt AJ watching him almost the entire time.
AJ was just as confused himself. He didn't know why he was suddenly feeling this way. Hell, he didn't even know what he was feeling. He thought he had everything figured out. He was going to lock up his heart, and all his emotions, and then hide the key somewhere so deep inside that no one would ever find it. He had to; it was the only way to stop the pain, to stop the hurt. Every time he allowed himself to fall, he got hurt. 'Maybe that's why they call it falling in love' he thought to himself. 'Cos at the end of every fall you come crashing back down to Earth,' he cracked a wry smile at the thought. 'Yeah, and it's the crashing part that hurts like a bitch.' Yet, despite his best efforts, within a few hours of deciding to lock his emotions back up, they were straining to get free again. He had expected this much, he knew that protecting his heart wasn't going to be easy, but what he hadn't expected was WHO it was that he would be protecting his heart from... HOWIE, since when was he having feelings for Howie. I mean for Christ sake, they had almost kissed earlier. Since when did that happen? He needed to get back to his room, he needed to think, he needed a fucking drink.
The van pulled up at the back entrance to the hotel, and AJ was up and out of the van as soon as he could, practically running to the waiting elevator. Howie was hot on his heels, not wanting to follow AJ, but wanting to get back up to their floor as quickly as he could, so he could disappear into his room and get away from everything. The others followed, confused by their band-mates behaviour, and yet again unsure of the cause. Brian shook his head as he watched the two men enter the elevator, head straight to the rear, and then proceed to stand as far apart as they possibly could in the confined space. He just didn't get them sometimes, every time he and the others thought that they had those two figured out, the two of them would throw the others through a loop, and would end up doing completely the opposite of what they were supposed to. If it weren't so damn infuriating, he would have thought it funny.
They all piled into the elevator, and it began its ascent up to the 30th floor. Howie was staring at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, but he could feel eyes on him again. He felt a strong urge to look up and meet AJ's gaze, and he tried to fight it, but it was useless, and he slowly raised his head and moved his gaze over to the far corner, where AJ stood watching him from behind his sunglasses. The second their eyes met, they were transfixed. They couldn't tear their eyes away from each other. They just stood there, staring, unable to look away from each other. AJ had seen Howie move, had seen him raise his head, and had plenty of time to look away so he didn't get caught looking, and yet he was unable to look away. So they just stood there in the back of the elevator, staring.
Unknown to either man, they were both being watched. Brian, Kevin and Nick were standing in front of the other two. Nick and Kevin were holding a quiet discussion, but Brian was looking straight ahead at the elevator doors. In the shiny metal he could see the pair behind him, and he watched in the reflection as they stood there looking at each other. He wasn't sure what to make of the scene, but he felt that at least it was an improvement on the avoidance method they had been employing earlier... With that the elevator came to a stop on their floor, and dinged before the doors began to open. The last thing Brian saw was both men jump; startled out of their trance by the sound.
They all walked out of the elevator, and AJ and Howie headed for their rooms. They all exchanged goodnights, and Brian fiddled with his keycard as he discreetly watched Howie and AJ step inside their respective rooms, which were opposite each other, and turn, sharing another long, lingering look before tearing their eyes away from each other and shutting their doors.