Chapter 14
30 minutes later they were all piled into a van for the short trip to the arena. AJ had entered the van first, and crammed himself into the corner of the van; seemingly trying to keep himself physically as far from the others as he was mentally. Brian and Howie had been the last to enter, and Brian had shot Howie a pointed look to make sure he saw and understood what AJ was doing.
Howie knew full well what AJ was doing, and yet he was still not sure what to do. Despite Brian's earlier reassurances that everything would be okay if he told AJ of his feelings, a part of him was still scared that telling him would make things worse. He had lived with this fear for so long now that it was almost as much a part of him as his love for AJ, and he found that he could not let it go just like that. As a result, the atmosphere in the van was tense, with very little conversation passing between any of them. Once they arrived at the arena, they all slipped out of van and inside. Howie hung back a bit and tried to get AJ into a conversation.
"Hey Bone." He said softly.
"D."
An uncomfortable silence fell over the friends as they headed inside. Howie wasn't sure what to say, he didn't want to ask how AJ was feeling, because he could tell that by looking, and he knew that AJ would blow him off and tell him everything was fine. AJ, on the other hand, still didn't feel like talking, and so he just stayed silent.
They walked through the hallways and into the dressing room with the others.
Once inside, AJ moved over to the sofa and dropped his bag on the floor, before slumping down with a sigh. He didn't want to be here, he just wanted to stay in his hotel room and be alone. He pulled off his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes looking down at the floor. The others' eyes all met over AJ's bowed head. They weren't sure what to do, and they hated it. A knock on the door broke through the silence, and Marcus poked his head round.
"Hey Guys, they're ready when you are for the sound check." Kevin looked over and thanked him, and Marcus smiled back before closing the door behind him. Kevin, Brian and Nick all immediately moved towards the door. Howie looked over at AJ, and seeing that he hadn't moved, he waved the others out of the door before turning around to face him.
"Aje?"
AJ looked up, and he suddenly realised that only he and Howie were in the room. He looked at Howie who smiled gently at him. AJ felt something stir as he looked into his best friends expressive eyes. He could clearly see the same concern there that the others had, and yet he didn't feel the same annoyance at it. There was something different about Howie. His eyes were so open and expressive. AJ stood up slowly, and looked down into his slightly shorter friend's eyes. Standing close to him, AJ could see that there was so much more hidden in those large chocolate brown eyes. They stood silent, as each looked deep into the others eyes. Howie could see the pain still holding AJ captive, and the barriers that he had put up to protect his heart. He felt this overwhelming urge to pull AJ into his arms and kiss the pain away. AJ in turn, looked past Howie's concern, and saw something else, burning brightly. He wasn't sure what it was, but yet, for some reason, it made him feel better; made him feel that maybe things weren't as bad as they seemed.
Howie smiled again, and for some reason, of which even he was unsure, AJ smiled back. It was only a small smile, but it was something. Howie felt his heart soar, whilst AJ's heart began to stir again, as the emotions that he had locked away strained to brake through. They moved closer together, as if pulled by a magnetic force, until their faces were barely inches apart. Their breath mingled between them, softly caressing their faces. AJ was lost in Howie's eyes, as if hypnotised, and he wasn't sure what he was doing as he leaned in closer to Howie. At the same time Howie leaned closer to AJ, whilst never losing eye contact. Just before their lips touched, there was a loud bang on the dressing room door, which caused to two to jump apart. One of the stage hands called for them to get up on the stage. The moment lost, Howie turned and fled the room, shocked and scared by what had nearly happened, whilst AJ stared after him, his mind still trying to comprehend what had just happened.