Part 3
Slowly they pulled back, and they stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, gazing into each other's eyes. Finally Howie spoke.
'How long?' he didn't need to say anymore, AJ knew what he was asking.
'How long have I known I loved you? A few months. Soon after I got out of rehab. How long have I actually been in love with you? Always. I was just too chicken shit to admit it to myself, let alone you.' AJ's eyes filled with tears at his admission, and Howie reached up and wiped away the lone tear that escaped. Howie could see in AJ's eyes that he felt guilty for not admitting it sooner, and he knew what he had to say. He cupped AJ's cheek in his hand, and gently urged AJ to look at him. Only when he was sure that he had his attention, did he speak.
'How long have I known I loved YOU... Not that much longer than you. I had always felt that you were something special, but I never admitted to myself just how deep my own emotions went. But then, that day when you came to us to say you were going to get help… When you left, I felt something so deep and so powerful, and I just locked myself in my room and cried for hours. Scared the hell out of the others. Later, when I came and saw you in the clinic, at first you looked so small, so vulnerable, and it scared me cos I had never seen you like that, you had always been so confident, so full of life, right from the first time we met. When I saw you like that I felt the urge to just hold onto you and never let you go. But then, as time passed, I saw the changes you went through, I saw you grow and blossom right in front of my eyes. And as you grew, so did the feelings I was having, Until…" He paused as he felt AJ's hand brush away tears he didn't even know he was crying.
'Until that day when you flew in to rejoin the tour. You walked into the hotel room, and you just looked so beautiful, so healthy, so, so…'
'Sexy?' AJ grinned.
Howie grinned back and punched him lightly in the arm. 'You always look sexy, but that was not the word I was looking for. I was thinking more along the lines of… together. Before, it felt like you had lost who you were. But at that moment, you finally seemed to know who you were again. You were secure in yourself. That's when it hit me. That's what made me realise that I loved you.'
AJ was stunned by the admission. Only a few short hours ago, he had been thinking that Howie would never feel the same about him, and now, here they were both confessing their love for one another. He could barely believe it. All he could think was that if this was a dream he never wanted to wake up. Howie realised that AJ wasn't entirely with him, and he tightened his hold on AJ, slightly scared by AJ's lack of reaction. The movement brought AJ out of his contemplation, and he looked down at Howie.
'I love you Howie.' he whispered, a smile lighting up his face, and he closed his eyes as he brought his lips back down to Howie's for another kiss.
As they broke apart, AJ's eyes fluttered open, and he was met by the most brilliant smile he had ever seen. Howie's smile seemed a mile wide, but what made it breathtaking was the love that was shining in Howie's eyes. A love that he knew was all for him.
'I love you too Alex. I have for so long. I almost can't believe this, it's like a dream that I never wanna wake up from.' AJ smiled as his friend echoed his own thoughts, and he held Howie close.
'It's not a dream Howie. You can't touch a dream, and I sure can feel you. Can you feel me D? Can you feel how much I want you?' As he said this he gently arched his pelvis into Howie's, pressing their erections together, creating a delicious pressure. A tiny moan escaped Howie's lips as he felt just how much AJ wanted him. AJ smiled and leaned down to catch Howie's lips in another kiss. He was rapidly becoming addicted to the sweet taste of Howie's mouth, and somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that this was one addiction that he wouldn't be going to get help for.
Howie pulled at AJ's wife beater, wanting to be able to touch AJ's skin, and he felt AJ unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off of his shoulders. They broke the kiss to pull the beater off of AJ, and Howie dropped it to the floor as his lips attached themselves to one of AJ's nipples. AJ arched into the touch, and let out a hiss of pleasure. Howie heard this and smirked against his skin.
'I think someone likes that' he smirked, only to be pulled up and into another heart-stopping kiss. When they finally broke from it, both were panting heavily, and only barely containing themselves. AJ recovered first, and pulled away from Howie's embrace. Howie looked up in shock, unsure of what was happening, and scared that something was wrong. AJ realised what Howie was thinking, and reached out and pulled him back into his body.
'Nothing's wrong babe, it's just that I want this to be done right. I don't want our first time to be on top of a pool table. We can do that another time.'
Howie grinned at the thought, and AJ smiled back, as he gently brushed his hand across Howie's cheek.
'I want this to be special.' He whispered, as he held out his hand for Howie to take. Howie could almost feel himself melting, and he took AJ's hand and allowed him to lead him through the house and up the stairs back into the master bedroom.