Title: Majority Rules
Author: Lavender Flutterby
Feedback: sure ...
Pairing: uh... none yet (look for the sequel)
Type: It's more comedy than anything right now... *cough* stealth
mission*cough*
Rating: Dude, it's got the word "fuck" in it, if ya don't like that
word
don't read the fuckin story.
Disclaimer: I'm in no way affiliated with the Backstreet Boys (more's
the
pity), their management (thank God), their families (no comment),
significant
others (not a one), their pets (Willa was a pet), or pool guys (who are
prolly really cute.) The story is a figment of my twisted imagination
and the
only thing I'm sure about 100% is the food. But I think there's an
abbreviated version of an old rider at the smokin guns site, if you're
bored
and wanna check my facts.
AN: This story spawned from a a late night conversation with a friend.
The
author gets strange ideas late at night and *viola* story. The sequel
is the
one that has sex in it or something similar to sex.
Summary: A group meeting to discuss their tour rider leads to 4 of the
boys
being set up. Plays on the each of the boys' "roles" in the group.
Dedication: This first one is for Steph 69, for indulging my semi
sedated
flights of fancy.
And now a word from our sponsor: This story was brought to you in part
by
Ambien, the insomniac's friend.
Majority Rules
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AJ rushed into the meeting late wearing his ever present sunglasses and
a sly
grin. In his hand, he held the packet he'd been given the previous
evening
for review before the meeting. They should've known he was up to
something.
"Sorry I'm late, guys."
AJ McLean apologizing for being late? Strangely, only the youngest
was
suspicious or maybe not. The others were too busy sipping coffee and
trying
to wake up. Who was the management jerk that decided they should meet
first
thing in the morning? Payback's a bitch or so the saying goes.
"Yeah well, you're here now. Grab a chair and let's get this over
with."
Hmm, Kevin was cranky but that wasn't an unusual occurrence when he'd
only
had a few hours sleep.
AJ's smile widened considerably. He slinked over to a chair and
carelessly
flopped into it.
"Can I ask a small question before we start?"
A chorus of irritated, sleepy sighs and annoyed mumblings filled the
air.
"Just a little survey, if you will, it won't take but a sec," he tried
again, a little more persuasion in his voice.
Reluctantly, they agreed. They weren't stupid, AJ wouldn't let them
get too
far into the meeting without endless pestering until his question was
answered and with the fatigue they all felt it was better to just let
him get
it out of the way beforehand.
So grumbles of "Fine."
"Hurry up."
"Whatever, J."
"If we must."
"Good. Real quick, close your eyes. Now raise your hand if you've ever
watched porn," before any response could be uttered, he added, "You
don't
have to say a word just do it."
Four sets of eyes closed and four hands went up; some slightly more
hesitant
than others.
"That settles it, we get porn on our rider," he said with a shrug.
"What?"
"Have you lost your mind?"
"Cool!"
"No way, man."
"Nope. We agreed that any decisions on the rider would be a majority
vote.
Well, I just counted everyone's hands there, so that makes it
unanimous. We
all watch porn, we all dig it, we all want it on the rider. It's a very
simple deduction when you think of it my way."
"Can you even spell 'deduction' you moron." Eh well, take them out one
at a
time then.
"Oh give me a fucking break, Kev. Every single one of us plays pocket
pool
when we're on the road. You are the one who gave us all the sexual
responsibility lecture in the first place. I'll paraphrase cause you're
long
winded as hell and I quote 'Masturbation is sex with the one you love.
It's
the safest form of sex,' end quote."
Laughter from an unlikely source.
"You did say that, Kev." Howie's amused; an ally?
"I remember that," Nick agreed eagerly. Two down.
"Yeah, but porn on the rider, Bone?" Brian's disgusted; this one could
be
trouble. Whoa there, cowboy.
"I count three. Majority rules remember? You're out voted, dude, give
it up."
"I dunno, AJ. It could be mean bad press." The old man's weakening.
Just a
little push, to make the point.
"Dammit Kev, use your fucking brain here for a minute. We're all guys,
if we
come off as too clean cut folks are gonna start thinking we're gay. How
the
fuck is that good press?" The last part said in a taunting singsong
tone.
The nail in the coffin!
A cleared throat, and four sets of eyes bored into Kevin for a
response. One
hoping for a refusal, one hoping for compliance, one smirking, and one
cocky
and very self confident.
Going... Going... Gone! He hit that one out of the park there, Bob.
After a few moments silence another feigned grudging agreement.
"He does have a point. You gotta admit that much."
"Thank you very much, Kev. That makes four, Bri. One more than was
really
necessary. Ya lost that one fair and square," AJ said, wearing a huge
smile
of satisfaction, not the tiniest bit repentant.
Brian glared angrily, but didn't speak. Democracy sucked.
"Dude, no one's gonna force you. You can go play ball or something
while we-"
A pause to reword the statement, " While they watch the movies."
"Well said, D. Welcome to the dark side."
A sheepish grin. 'Sweet One' indeed.
"Frack man, You're not gonna back me up here?"
Pleading is so undignified.
"Are you nucking futs? Porn is cool, dude, get a grip."
Not another word, just a patronizing look from the instigator.
"Fine. Fuck it. Whatever."
Faker! But wait, the Good One said a wordy durd. Let it slide? Not
likely.
A decidedly devilish smile.
"Thanks for your permission, but I have to remind you that you already
lost.
By the way, it's not nice to say 'fuck' in front of the kid. Such
language?
Do you kiss your mother with that mouth," Said in a sickeningly
saccharin
drenched manner.
"You wanna let him watch porn, but I'm not supposed to curse in front
of
him?"
Outraged choirboy, let's work with this for a moment shall we?
"That's the difference between me and you, Rok. I'm supposed to do shit
like
that. I never pretended I didn't. It's, like, fucking expected of me or
some
shit. You're 'The Good One.' Don't hate me cause you can't be me.
Besides
'fuck' ain't in the Good Book, choirboy."
Just to add insult to injury, an indifferent shrug and a patronizing
smile.
"Like I said, fine. I ain't watching it."
Four separate glances said loudly yet without words, "Sure you're not."
"This is me caring don't blink or you'll miss it."
Snark from 'The Old Man.'
"Don't trip over that sarcasm, there Bri, ya might hurt yourself"
Sunglasses lower, another smug grin.
"Sweet, my ass. Again I say, welcome to the dark side."
A triumphant leisurely perusal of the other four, stopping on the
coconspirator.
"Toldja my way would work, Bootyboy."
"So? What's next on the list ... food? Who's got something against
chicken
wings? What about Peanut Butter and Jelly? We gotta have like, fruit
and crap
... and water and juice..."
The young one has spoken... and now he won't stop.
The meeting continued as scheduled.
The End.
The Sequel: Know Your Role.
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