Brad was sitting in the room he'd taken for his own, sweating and fighting the pain behind his eyes. His head hurt, but lying down hadn't helped. The pills he'd taken didn't help.
He needed direction. Guidance. A vision.
And there was nothing. Nothing but whiteness behind his closed eyes.
He reached for the cell phone in his pocket, but stopped himself from actually dialling. Who would he call? Schuldig? The German was in the next room and there was no point in it.
But he had to do something. And he had to do it soon, before Kei was on his feet and established control.
* * * * * * *
Yohji wiggled his toes at the end of the soft cast on his ankle. "It feels better than the tape, I'll grant you that," he told Kate.
�At least it�s got a chance of healing now instead of you stubbornly limping off on it.� She grinned at him. �No point in staying here. Aki should have got everyone at the house sorted out by now so we can go and find you a room.�
"Sounds good I guess." He wondered if Aya had a room already and what he was doing, but quickly shoved that though away. It didn't matter. Aya was something he'd have to forget.
"Or we could go find dinner somewhere. I'm starving."
Kate guessed that he didn�t want to bump into Aya, or even worse Jas, just yet but kept her reflections to herself.
�Do you like seafood fresh from the ocean?� she asked. �If so there is a great little restaurant on the waterfront that does really good seafood and some local specialities too. Lots of fresh fruit and great coffee.�
"Sounds good." He smiled at her, "do they take plastic?' His face fell. "Shit, I don't know if I've even got any money. They might have gotten to some of my accounts by now."
He sighed and leaned on his crutches. "I don't have any of the local money so I can't even buy us a coffee."
Kate grinned at him. �Tsuki�s not just a pretty face, you know. Your accounts are safely hidden from prying computers. Besides, coffee�s on me. You can buy the dinner and yes, they do take plastic, again courtesy of Tsuki who set up the link for them.�
"Well I know he's good with computers but I wasn't sure how much he'd accomplished. I figured out money probably wasn't a high priority all things considered."
�It was the first thing he did after the four of you agreed to join us,� Kate said. �Kei figured you�d earned that money and he wasn�t about to let Esset get their mucky paws on it.�
"Well that's something at least." He managed a smile though it still had a forced quality about it. He hobbled toward the door of the ER. "Come on then. I'm buying and you can order anything you like."
�Oh wow! Lucky me!� But she was grinning as she said it. �I hope you don�t mind company. I�m guessing some of the others will have made their way there by now. Aki loves the place.�
Yohji's eyes closed. He'd been hoping to avoid the rest of DSS, especially if it meant any of Weiss might be present.
"Maybe going back to the house is a better idea," he told her quietly. "I don't want to face any of them right now. I just..." He shook his head. "Never mind, let's go."
�I doubt if Jas will be there,� Kate said. �He�s more likely to be down in the dojo working out.� She shrugged. �But if you�d rather go back to the house I can make us something to eat. I�ll even promise not to make omelettes.�
"No. Let's go to this place you told me about. I have to face them some time don't I?" He looked at her and gave her another of those forced smiles, "I love fresh seafood."
She sighed softly, knowing how much the blond was hurting over his red-haired team mate and the Weiss reaction to his �joining� of Schwarz. Now was not the time to tell him that Kei would expect him to either keep his word to DSS or die.
�My guess is only Aki and Issei will be there and they�re both easy to get on with.� She did a quick mental totting up of her team mates. Kei was in the hospital so she had a shrewd idea that was where Tsuki would be too. Jas would be in the dojo or his room as he was never the most sociable of creatures. None of the ex-Weiss boys knew about the restaurant so that only left Aki and Issei. Or Schwarz.
"Come on then. I can handle those two, and well, I am part of Schwarz." His expression went glum. "Though I'm starting to think I'm wearing out my welcome there too."
He limped along a few steps. "Schuldig was getting really cold with me and Brad... shit Brad's acting really off. I mean he wanted me as a fuck buddy, I won't deny it, but the way he was carrying me around, that's just not normal."
�He did seem very�protective of you.� Kate frowned. �Actually I�d always heard he was a cold sonofabitch and, while he was sarcastic he was also very caring towards you. That did seem a little out of character from what we know.
"I thought maybe he was trying to bait Aya and Kei. But it was totally out of character the way he was acting. And yeah, he's so cold he makes Aya seem cuddly."
Kate actually chuckled at that. Aya and cuddly didn�t really belong in the same sentence, but then what did she know? The redhead might well have a soft side though she doubted if anyone would ever see it. Well, perhaps Jas might.
She grimaced. Those two icicles probably didn�t have soft sides at all and if Crawford was even colder�
"So what do you think's going on with him?"
"Maybe that mental invasion has done something to him. I mean we really don't have a clue if either of the Schwarz were tampered with somehow."
They turned a corner and walked along by the side of the ocean until they came to a quaint little restaurant built almost on the beach.
Yohji glanced in through the window. "Nice place," he remarked. There was a menu taped into the window, but it was in English. He leaned closer trying to puzzle out the words.
�Snapper is the main delicacy but they do lobster and crab too. They import some beef for steaks but the fish is the best. And then there�s fresh pineapple, papaya, mango and banana, most of it locally grown.�
"Well I'm hungry so I'll trust your judgment on the food and let you order for me," Yohji told her as he reached for the door.
Kate�s heart sank as she followed him in. Sitting at a table in the corner were three members of Schwarz, tucking into large meals. At least Crawford wasn�t there.
Schuldig looked up as the door opened and frowned slightly before turning his attention back to his food.
Yohji sighed. "Welcome to my life," he murmured. "But at least they've got their food so they shouldn't be here much longer."
Farfarello glanced at the two who'd come in, then went back to his own meal.
It was Nagi who smiled at them before resuming eating.
Kate smiled back and seated herself at a table by the window. �Have you ever had snapper?�
"Not that I'm aware of," Yohji replied as he eased himself into a chair and set the crutches out of the way.
�It�s a bit like sea bass only richer, more meaty.�
�Playing ladies man again, Kudoh? Quite the whore aren�t you?� Schuldig�s tone was bitter, angry.
"You were just complaining about sharing Brad with me not an hour ago. I thought you'd enjoy having him all to yourself again, Schuldig. Or have you changed your mind about that too? "
He picked up the drink menu and studied it trying to find something he could drink that wouldn't tick anyone off.
�He wouldn�t even come out for a meal with me!� But here Schuldig�s tone was more baffled than angry. *I don�t know if there�s something wrong with him or if it�s me, Yohji. Nothing seems� right anymore.*
The blond turned to look at the German. "No, it doesn't. And you've got to admit Brad has been acting really fucking weird, Schuldig. I mean he carried me through the airport. If that's not totally off for Brad I don't know what is."
�It�s also unlike him to so openly plot against someone he�s allied with,� Nagi said in his quiet way. �He knows we all need each other if we�re to succeed and yet he doesn�t seem to want to work with DSS just Weiss.�
"Hmm..." Yohji gave up on the drink list and set it aside. "You know, the more I think about it, the more it makes me wonder."
He glanced at Kate. "Would it be okay to join them over there? I think we need to talk some things out."
Kate had been listening to the little exchange in silence, a frown gathering. �I think you�re right.� She pushed her chair back and stood up which led to a very apologetic proprietor rushing out of the kitchen afraid that he might have upset her.
She reassured him, ordered their meals and some beer for them both before sitting down next to Nagi.
Yohji sank into the chair next to Schuldig. "Tell me something, Schuldig. When was the last time you remember him being, well normal?"
There was something bothering Yohji. Something that had started to eat at him while he'd been talking to Kate after they'd gotten off the plane.
Schuldig thought about it, glancing at Nagi and Farfarello for confirmation when he said, �before that blond bastard shot me.� He raised wide eyes to stare at his team mates. �Am I wrong?�
Farfarello's mouth pulled down into a severe frown. "He has been behaving in a very strange way for a while." He picked up his napkin and wiped his mouth. "It's been bothering me for almost a month now, but I thought maybe he had too much on his mind. He should have stopped Silence from shooting you, and he didn't. The Brad I know would never let anything happen to Schuldig."
Yohji nodded. "And the things he was doing and saying on the flight weren't like him at all. He acted like I meant something to him, and while it... felt good, I know that's not Brad. I'm something useful, and a tight hole for his appetites, but if he loves anyone, it's Schuldig not me."
�There�s something else,� Nagi said slowly. �The little fatherly chat he gave me. He told me to run. Brad would always stand and fight and he�d never split Schwarz.�
They were interrupted by the arrival of two beers and two large dinners but as soon as the proprietor and his son had retreated back to their kitchen Kate spoke up. �So what exactly are you guys trying to say? That someone�s tampered with his mind and given him a personality transplant or what?�
"Unfortunately, we're dealing with Rosenkruez and as far fetched as that seems, it could be done," Yohji told her.
Farfarello's eye narrowed. "There's another explanation. Rosenkreuz has developed a great deal of technology, some of it based on Takatori Masafumi�s experiments. And I'm sure you remember some of those."
�He was looking for a way to become immortal but I�m sure some of the genetics results found their way to Rosenkreuz. They were doing their own work in that field when I was at �school� there.� Schuldig grimaced at some memory. �Who knows what they might have achieved?�
�From what I understand of them they would look for ways to better control people, theirs and others,� Kate said.
"Takatori Masafumi turned people into monsters by use of retro-viral genetic alteration," Yohji commented.
He took a bite of the fish. "This is good."
He chewed and swallowed.
"And your point?" Farfarello asked.
"What if they found a way to alter the genetic structure of a person to resemble another person then had a telepath tamper with that look-a-like's mind?" Yohji asked. "Or, maybe they found a way to clone people based on the research. Brad's been acting weird. What if it's not really him?"
There was absolute silence around the table, broken only by the sound of the waves breaking on the shore, as each of them took in the enormity of Yohji�s words. It was Schuldig who broke it.
He wanted to say it was impossible, that he would know but he couldn�t. There were too many anomalies that now made sense. �Then we would have a potential enemy in our midst.�
�It also begs the question where is the real Brad if this one�s a clone,� Nagi said quietly.
"That's what has me worried the most," Yohji stated as he took a bite of his meal. It was very good, but he was quickly losing his appetite under the weight of their discussion.
"If this isn't Brad, then where is he... and more importantly, who has him?" Yohji asked. "And considering the situation, I think we can all guess who probably has him."
Farfarello's face twisted into an expression that made the nearest customers nervously get up and leave their tables. "We have to face facts then--" he looked from Schuldig to Nagi, "Brad may not even be alive anymore."
And that was a very sobering thought.
�If I was a Rosenkreuz scientist experimenting in cloning I would want to keep the original to make certain I was producing infallible copies,� Kate said. �I certainly wouldn�t kill the master copy.�
"Brad might not have left them much choice though," Farfarello remarked, the anger changing to a desolate look. "He wouldn't have been taken without a fight, and he's always said if it came down to it, he'd die before he'd be taken by them."
"Yeah, he even told me that if there was no chance to escape, make sure I died rather than let them take me," Yohji stated and took another bite of his meal. "But if he is alive, where do you think they'd take him?"
�My first guess would be one of their research facilities but he would have to be kept comatose to keep him there,� Schuldig said. �They�re not somewhere you�d want to be awake and aware anyway.�
�There�s one thing they would never be able to clone,� Nagi said quietly, �his talent. If that is a clone, being controlled by a telepath, it�s just been moved well out of range of all telepaths bar Schu or Aya. It will be interesting to see what he can do without input.�
There was a coldness about Nagi, as if something had died within him, some spark that kept him human.
Yohji finished as much of the meal as he could and shoved the plate aside, barely having finished half of the food. "Let's pay and get back to the house. I think we need to have a talk with that imitation Brad. If we're lucky maybe it knows where Crawford is." He met Schuldig's gaze, "Or maybe you can find the telepath that was controlling him. Don't they have a sort of mental signature or something that you can track?"
Schuldig shook his head. �Yohji, Yohji how many times do you need to be told that a telepath has to get reasonably close in order to manipulate or control someone�s mind? I doubt if there�s a telepath apart from yours truly within a thousand miles of us.�
He smirked suddenly. �Which means that if that thing is a clone and being controlled, it�s now on its own.�
"And what about Aya? If you can do it, I'd bet he can too, and if he can, it stands to reason there might just be someone else, doesn't there?" Yohji drawled and hobbled for the door. "And I was trying to find out if you could figure out what telepath was controlling our faux Brad and kill him or her."
He looked the German up and down, "But maybe I should ask Aya to do it since it's out of your league." He was being petty and he knew it, but he wasn't in a very pleasant mood and he felt like sharing it.
�Damn! I�d forgotten Aya.� Schuldig went silent for a moment before he smirked. �Though I don�t think he�d thank you for disturbing him right now.� If Kudoh wanted to be a prick, he could match him. How could he be expected to function normally when the man who was his whole world was missing replaced by something else?
He did another scan of the island. There was a buzz of power from those present, including the woman, and from the house where Jas and Aya were, a sense of implacable will from the hospital and nothing else. The island was clear. And he now knew beyond shadow of a doubt that the thing calling itself Brad Crawford was not his lover.
�It�s on its own and very confused as nobody has given it a �vision�.� He concentrated on the clone trying to read what was there. There was the trace of a very powerful mind but it wasn�t one he recognised and it couldn�t reach the construct while it was here.
"Let's go do this then," Yohji said as he headed down the street.
Farfarello frowned and glanced at Nagi. *I think someone should give him some help,* he said over the Schwarz mental link. *Kudoh is part of Schwarz, even if that thing isn't Brad, that happened long before Crawford was taken from us, so he had a reason to want that kitten. And it probably wasn't just for the two of you to fuck, Schuldig.*
Schuldig thought not a word in reply but strode after Yohji and Kate. Nagi shook his head and actually grinned at his lover. *You really are a clever bastard* he sent, his mental voice full of admiration and another tone that spoke of endearment. Then he turned to follow the others.
The Irishman let loose with a string of Gaelic invective that would have melted a nun. He turned to Nagi and gripped his lover�s arms, leaning down to impress on the teen what he�d realized. *Brad must have known he was going to be grabbed and knew there wasn�t anything he could do to stop it. None of us would have figured this out if that pretty-boy blond wasn�t with us.*
*Which means what exactly, that we�re stupid or that Brad saw something else?*
*My guess is that he knows we trust him so implicitly that we�d never question him. And that�s true. Even when that thing gave you the talk about running while the three of us stayed and died fighting RK, you never questioned it. Neither did we.*
*So the controlling telepath knows our team dynamics rather well and Yohji, who doesn�t, saw the oddities in the behaviour first. I think we need to find out what this thing knows.*
*That�s my guess. And they probably used him to get a grip on Schuldig�s mind. Those two are tightly linked. And yes, we do need to know what that thing knows, not that he�ll be of much use. He�s a tool, no more and no less,* he agreed and let his lover go. *And don�t sell Kudoh short. Much as I hate to admit it-- and I do-- he�s as clever as Brad in his own way.* He glanced at Schuldig�s retreating back, *And that power of his is hellaciously dangerous.*
*Farf, I don�t sell anyone that was on that plane short. Schwarz, Weiss or DSS. There isn�t a fool amongst us.* There was a slight shudder as he thought about what Yohji�s power could do. *Let�s hope this �tool� can tell us where Brad is before I crush it or Kudoh sucks out its soul� always supposing it has one.*
*Probably doesn�t. It�s a made thing isn�t it?*
They were following the three to the house down a quiet street that had only very light traffic. Palm trees swayed in the breeze.
*I wish Brad were with us. He�d love this place, don�t you think so Nagi?*
A tear escaped and Nagi reached blindly for Farfarello�s hand. *Yes, he would. Farf�do you think he�s dead?*
*Honestly?* Farfarello squeezed the younger man�s hand. *Yes, Nagi. I do.*
* * * * * * *
Tsuki watched Kei sleep, his mind going back to the time when he�d been fool enough to not only hack into DSS but then to present them with what he�d found. He knew he�d been lucky to escape with his life, that only his use as a computer whiz had saved him.
He smiled to himself. The adrenaline rush had been something else! Kei and Jas had circled him like a pair of stalking cats before moving in on him where he sat helpless. Kei had touched his face, pressed his lips close to his ear as he�d whispered into it that he would be loyal or die. He blushed at the memory of how hard he�d been. Felt that same hardness as he remembered.
�Bet I know what you�re thinking about,� a voice murmured from the bed. Kei�s eyes were open, gaze focused on Tsuki�s lap.
Tsuki�s blush deepened even further if that were possible and he looked at just about anything but the man in the bed. �Oh? What?� he enquired with an assumption of calm he was far from feeling.
It had been easy when Kei had been almost helpless but now he was out of danger he had the effect he always did on Tsuki. The adrenaline was pumping through his veins strongly enough to make him breathless.
�My guess is that you�re thinking about the day we met. Am I wrong?�
He could only be honest and hell with the consequences. �No, you�re not wrong.� He looked up then, his black eyes full of anger. �Was it necessary to tease me like that? It�s not as if you want me.�
�What makes you think I don�t want you, Tsuki? Have I told you I�m not interested?� Kei asked.
Tsuki swallowed hard, hope creeping in where there had been none before. But the words of Aki and Hisato came back to haunt him. �You�re about the only one who hasn�t. I�ve been told repeatedly that I�m wasting my time.�
Black eyes widened and a hand stole to his mouth as he realised what he�d admitted in his fit of pique.
"Do you always listen to what other people tell you? If so, maybe you need to learn to think for yourself," Kei murmured and let his eyes drift closed. "We're alone and I'm not able to struggle. A brave man might see opportunity in such a situation."
Eyes dark as a starless night narrowed at Kei�s words. They stung as Tsuki knew they�d been intended to. The adrenaline coursed through him tempered by his anger and desire, the fight or flee mechanism urging him to fight for what he wanted.
Before he could stop to think, to second guess himself, he was on his feet and heading purposefully towards the bed.
Once there he leaned over and kissed Kei, part of him wondering how the man would react.
Kei responded by kissing Tsuki with as much intensity as he displayed on a mission, all but pulling the smaller man into the hospital bed.
Tsuki didn�t fight it for two reasons, one he didn�t want to do Kei even more damage and two he wanted this far too much to even consider resisting.
And it had been well worth waiting for, Kei�s intense kiss as perfect as everything else about the man, driving all thoughts of his lost lover from his mind possibly forever.
Kei pulled Tsuki into the bed with him, wrapping his arms around the slender man and holding Tsuki tight as he kissed him. He broke the kiss and looked into the younger man's eyes, "Before we go farther with this, you have to know that once something is mine I don't ever let it go.
"Think you can handle that?"
Tsuki gazed back noticing the tiny flecks of dark gold in Kei�s intense eyes. �Do you really want me forever?� His leader�s statement and subsequent question had left him stunned. �I thought you might only want me maybe once or twice.� And although he would be happy to have even that much the thought of being Kei�s for good excited him in the most profound way.
Mind made up all of a sudden, he returned Kei�s embrace gently so as not to hurt the man further. �I think I can handle that.�
Kei eventually broke the kiss, gently pushing Tsuki away to regard him with eyes that all but burned, the look he was giving Tsuki the most intense the man had ever seen on his leader's face. "Don't give me an answer yet. You need to think a few additional things over," he warned.
"First, I'm driven by things other than my balls. I'm sure you're aware of that. I'm also sure you're aware that sex isn't any more a part of my life than it has been for Jas in the past."
And he hoped to hell Jas and Aya had themselves straightened out before he left the hospital. There was too much for him to do without dealing with tension between them.
"Second, if we ever have sex I'll decide when and where and what happens, not you.
"Third being mine means you're subject to higher standards than those I hold you to now. Keep that in mind and give me your decision at the end of the week."
He shoved the blankets aside. "And now go find my clothes. I've got work to do and it can't be done lying here in bed."
Tsuki sighed at Kei�s stubbornness in wanting to get up with a half healed wound but knew better than to even attempt arguing. Instead he scrambled off the bed and crossed the room to get the bag of clean clothes Aki had brought to the little hospital from the house. The clothes Kei had been wearing being blood-soaked.
He placed the bag on the bed where Kei could reach it easily and turned his back to give the man some privacy as he mulled over what he had said.
The first point he�d already known and it had added to the belief that Kei didn�t want him at all. Could he live with that? Hadn�t he been prepared to settle for one night with the man? He could live with what he was given.
The second point was also a given and was part of the attraction Kei held for him. He needed someone else to call the tune and knew instinctively that Kei would. A smile caressed shapely lips as he considered it.
The third point was the one that gave him pause. What exactly had Kei meant by higher standards? Was it the way he looked, dressed? Was it in his work? The smile died as he wondered if he could live up to such standards. He was impetuous by nature and might rebel and that could get him hurt if not killed.
Deciding he might need further clarification on point three he was suddenly glad of the week he�d been given.
"To clarify things and put this into perspective for you, Tsuki, you're the first person I've given this offer to, and if you decide not to accept, you'll be the last one."
No one had ever interested him the way the cross-dressing Tsuki did. Not even cute little Aki had drawn him the way the computer hacker had. He glanced at the younger man from the corner of his eye, fully understanding how Jas must feel to go chasing after that red-head.
He wanted nothing more than to drag Tsuki into his bed and...
When his cock twitched and tried to go stiff Kei shoved what he'd been thinking about aside. He wasn't strong enough to do anything. Not yet. And he didn't want to torment himself thinking about what he wasn't able to do, and wasn't sure Tsuki was ready to give.
He knew his demands were unrealistic, but he also had a full understanding of his own psyche and knew what hellishness any lover he took would be in store for.
He'd toyed with the idea of taking Jas as his lover at one time, but the blond had shown no interest.
But Tsuki.
Tsuki wanted him.
He was halfway dressed when his body warned him he was pushing too hard. He sat down, dizziness making the room spin.
"Tsuki, can you help me with my pants?" It wasn't fair to ask Tsuki for this, but he had no real choice if he wanted to get to the house and handle the problems his mind kept warning him were starting to occur.
Tsuki�s black eyes widened at that and he swallowed nervously. That was a hell of a responsibility no matter how flattering and he wasn�t thinking about the pants. It was the first statement that Kei had made that had him stunned. Never before and never again the man had said. He stood dazed until he remembered that Kei wanted some help. He picked the pants out of the bag and slipped them over Kei�s bare feet, frowning at how pale the man had gone.
�Use your brain not your body for a while. You�ve got plenty of arms and legs to call on if you need them.�
Kei nodded. �I know, and I�m going to rely on you, Kate and Jas heavily for a while.� He let the younger man get his pants up his legs.
When the trousers reached his thighs he took Tsuki�s hands in his. �I want you to know I�m not joking with you this time. I�m serious about how I feel. I want you if you can stand my terms, but I won�t pressure you. It�s your choice.�
The dark gaze looked away, Kei�s head lowering. �You�re better than someone like me deserves.�
�Oh? What makes me any better than you? The fact that I know one end of a computer from another? I don�t think so. Apart from the natives there�s not one of us on this island that is any better than the others.�
He returned the pressure of Kei�s hands with his own before asking, �Can you stand?
�I know things about me that you don�t, Tsuki. Things I won�t ever tell you or anyone else,� the older man replied. Hisato the only other person in the entire world who�d known his darkest secrets was dead. His only brother was dead.
And he refused to cry because tears were for the weak. But he wanted to cry, and that was stupid. It changed nothing. Solved nothing. And didn�t really help take the pain away. He�d learned that lesson as a boy.
"You said it yourself, you have high standards. My only worry is that I may well fall short of those standards."
�Yes, you might, but so do I,� he sighed. �I made a mistake and got shot. Very careless of me.�
He returned the pressure of Kei's hands with his own before asking, "Can you stand?"
�I honestly don�t know, but we have to get back to the house. I think...� He shook his head, �Correction I know there�s a problem.�
Tsuki nodded, his own instincts making him uneasy. �Lean on me then,� was all he said. �I�ll get you there.�
Kei was right, he didn�t know a great deal about him, but it didn�t matter. He knew the man known as Darkness would never leave one of them behind if he could help it, gave them reasons for most of his orders and that was good enough for him. When it came down to the wire it was a question of trust and he trusted Kei implicitly.
Kei forced himself to his feet, leaning on Tsuki. He didn�t feel any pain, but he was dizzy and his legs weren�t working properly, either from the drugs, the blood loss or a combination of both.
�Is the car here?�
�You mean that big swanky thing that took us from the airport? Yes it�s here.�
�The driver. Did he... stay?� Kei was struggling to keep focused, things trying to go fuzzy on him. Drugs. Strong painkillers even though the staff at the hospital knew better.
He pushed himself, making his legs move, letting Tsuki anchor him to �up� when his own mind didn�t know where �up� was located.
�I�m beginning to think that he and that car are joined at the hip,� Tsuki said. �But if he�s not there I can drive you to wherever it is that we�re going. So far this is the only bit of this place that I�ve seen.�
He gently eased Kei out of the hospital room alarmed by the amount of weight the older man was leaning on him. If he could have done so he would have carried him.
Kei�s knees started to go and he clutched at Tsuki, holding on, unwilling to fall when he knew what the result would be: staying at the hospital.
�Tsuki...� his voice was a strained whisper, �something�s wrong. I�m... dizzy.�
That decided Tsuki and he scooped the other man up and staggered out of the hospital with him. The driver, seeing them, got the car door open and Tsuki eased Kei into the back seat.
�He wants to go to the house,� he told the driver, praying that the man knew what the hell he was talking about.
"He doesn't look good. Are you sure he shouldn't stay here?" the driver asked.
Kei was pale as a corpse, "Take me home," he ordered.
"Yes boss."
It wasn�t a long drive which was probably just as well in Tsuki�s considered opinion. Kei should still be resting up in bed not worrying about what the rest of them were doing. But, then again, with Crawford and his merry men in the equation anything could happen.
They pulled up outside of a large house, built in the local style. In its own way it was as beautiful as the house in Japan. A house they would probably never use again considering what had happened there.
Interestingly enough Kate, Kudoh and three quarters of Schwarz were also approaching, each of them looking extremely worried. Seemingly Kei had been correct in thinking they had problems.
Yohji glanced at the limo and frowned. �I thought he was going to stay at the hospital,� he said to Kate.
Kei motioned Kate over and asked, �What�s going on? I have this... odd feeling.�
* * * * * * *
In his underground bedroom Jas opened his eyes and sat up, awakened by a chill running down his back.
�Aya, wake up. Kei�s here and something is wrong.�
Aya was awake instantly, his mind automatically reaching out to briefly touch the minds of those around him. Every one of them seemed uneasy apart from Ken, Omi, Issei and Aki and Crawford�s seemed� weird.
�It�s Crawford,� he snapped and reached for his clothing.
"That fucking sneak bastard," Jas muttered as he pulled on his pants and reached for the nearest gun. "What is he trying to do, Aya? Can you tell?"
Aya frowned, trying to use his talent as Schuldig might. �He�s trying to see a vision. It�s like his talent has deserted him.� He reached out further, trying to read one of the concerned minds. Apart from Kei and Tsuki they were all shielded to a greater or lesser extent but he was able to pick up a buzz of concern about Crawford.
He sprinted into the dojo to pick up his katana.
Jas was already heading upstairs to meet with Kei and his team mates. Whatever was going on, it would be Kei that decided their course of action.
What bothered him most was Kei being out of the hospital. The man wasn't strong enough to be running around and since he was there must be some sort of serious trouble brewing.
Aya raced up the stairs, trying to shake off the feeling that they had an enemy in their midst.
Because of the way the underground of the house was laid out, Jas and Aya reached the living room at the same time. Jas grabbed Aya's arm. "There's something weird going on here."
The door of the living room opened to admit the rest of Schwarz and DSS and they all looked grim.
Tsuki was relieved to see Jas and Aya, knowing they would face down Schwarz if it became necessary and more to the point take some of the weight from Kei�s shoulders.
Aya stayed close to Jas, not even attempting to escape his hold, but his eyes were on Kei and Yohji. While Kei looked as if he should be in a bed, Yohji looked more healthy and aware than at any time since all this started.
Without a word Farfarello headed for the room that the Schwarz leader had taken for his own.
Yohji looked at the two men and he knew what had happened between them. It hurt to know he'd lost any chance with Aya, but, as he'd always known, he'd never really had any chance with Aya in the first place.
"We have reason to believe that the man in there isn't really Crawford," Yohji explained to the two men who hadn't already heard what was going on.
Kei, pale as death, was about to follow Farfarello when Jas said, "Tsuki, get that idiot into a chair or a bed, Kate, Aya, come with me." He turned and followed the Irishman down the hallway.
Kate and Aya went after Jas as Tsuki gently eased Kei into a chair. He wasn�t fool enough to even suggest bed until this current crisis had been dealt with.
Farfarello was already at the door when the others arrived. He tried the knob and found that it was locked. One hard kick solved that.
Crawford was sitting totally nude on the bed which was still made. His suit was carelessly dropped on the floor and he turned his head, eyes dull and unfocused as if he were having a vision.
He blinked, stared, blinked again. "What do you want?"
Farfarello pounced like a cat on a mouse, pinning the taller man to the bed, a knife at his throat. "I think this is all the proof we need. I could never have done this to Crawford. I know I've tried it several times."
Aya�s gaze was on the rumpled suit. �I can�t imagine Crawford dropping a suit on the floor either.� Violet eyes were raised to the man on the bed. The likeness was exact except for the honey coloured eyes. They simply weren�t cold enough.
A mind tried to latch on to his and he suddenly realised who or what had been affecting Schuldig. His shields kept the thing out but he shuddered at the touch of it.
The man they'd thought was Crawford glared at Aya, then turned his angry stare on Farfarello. "Let me go, Farfarello, unless you want to spend some time upside down in a straight jacket."
"If you don't want to hold hands with Kudoh, you'll tell us who or what you are and where Brad is," the Irishman snarled.
"Whatever you do don't kill him," Jas said. "Not yet anyway."
"I'm not going to kill him. I might carve him up a bit though," Farfarello stated and moved the knife just enough to touch the line of the fake Brad's jaw, drawing a few beads of blood.
�Farfarello, we need him able to talk and for that he�s going to need his larynx.� Kate�s voice was as cold as ice. �But he could probably dispense with other body parts.� She picked up the rumpled suit and threw it at the supposed pre-cog. �Get dressed unless you want to face us all naked.�
�No, let him stay naked.� Aya was quite convinced there was enough of Crawford�s personality in the clone to make the idea of being naked in front of his enemies abhorrent
"Get off of me you lunatic," the dark haired man on the bed ordered. "I mean it, Farfarello. Get off of me or you'll rue this."
Farfarello leaned in closer, "You aren't Brad. He'd never call me a lunatic because he knows better," he snarled. The tip of his knife nicked the imitation Crawford's ear and the thing took a swing at Farfarello.
The Irishman rammed the knife though the thing's forearm.
"You. Are. Not. Crawford," he growled.
Jas glanced at Aya, "You better tell Schuldig to get in here and help keep Berserker under control. I'd say he's killing mad."
But Schuldig was Crawford�s lover so it could go either way in Aya�s opinion and he�d rather keep the other telepath away from whatever this was until there were more people present.
*Nagi, will you come and control Farfarello please. We want this thing alive.*
He�d no sooner sent the request than the telekinetic appeared in the room. Farfarello was hauled off the thing calling itself Crawford. �No, Farf, we need him alive.�
"He is alive," Berserker retorted, staring at the knife in his fist. He didn't bother trying to get free because he knew Nagi wasn't letting him go.
The thing that looked like Brad was holding it's arm, groaning and clutching the bleeding wound.
Jas grabbed the fake Brad and yanked it off the bed. "Let's try this again," he said. "Where is Crawford?"
"I'm Crawford you moron!"
"Wrong answer," Silence replied and backhanded the thing.
Aya tried something he�d never tried before. He pushed at the clone�s shields with his talent and they crumbled. All that he found was the desire for a �vision� and a fleeting memory of a room containing several Crawford clones, all in some sort of stasis and the original lying on a pallet attached to several drips and shunts.
�I think Kei might want to know what�s going on,� Kate said, �especially as he left the damned hospital to come here.� She shot the clone a look of intense dislike.
Aya pulled away from the mind that was trying so eagerly to latch onto his and staggered as he regained his equilibrium. �Crawford�s still alive,� he told those present, �and there are several more of these things.�
Farfarello's eye narrowed. "More of these?" He looked at the now cowering thing on the bed, hate evident in his expression. "We have to kill them and rescue Brad."
"That's exactly what they will expect," Jas replied. "But since Kei's planning on destroying Rosenkreuz anyway, this might work out to everyone's advantage."
�I think we�ve got everything we�re going to get out of that,� Aya said coldly. �We�d better find out what Kei wants doing with it.�
Nagi let go of Farfarello and glanced at the DSS people. �If he wants it killed, let us do it please.�
"Bring it along," Jas said. "Kei will want to see it the way it is now."
The clone was staring at them, dark eyes filling with fear. "You don't have to kill me. I can be of help to you."
Farfarello backhanded the thing. "You aren't real so shut up!"
Kate frowned. �Wait, Farfarello.� She turned a gaze as cold as green ice on the clone. �Exactly how do you think you can be of help to us?�
The thing was eyeing Farfarello warily. "You'll kill me if I tell you."
"We'll kill you if you don't tell us," the Irishman retorted.
The clone cast a desperate look at Kate. "I know where they've got him."
Kate glanced at Jas and Aya. �I think we�d better let Kei decide this one.�
Aya had a quick peek at what she was thinking and found it to be remarkably like his own thoughts. Why would a clone want to live? Did it have real feelings or was this just some imprint left by the telepath that had controlled it?
Jas turned to leave the room. "She's right; this is something Kei has to decide. Bring it."
Farfarello grabbed it by the hair, "Let's go."
The clone whimpered at the pain, all semblance of being Crawford gone.
They marched the thing down to the sitting room where Kei and the others waited. Omi, Ken, Aki and Issei having been told the news were there too, waiting to see if the thing in their midst had any value.
Kei regarded the bleeding and naked 'Crawford' in their midst. "What have you learned?" he asked, gaze moving from the thing to Jas and Aya who were standing side by side. It was a good indication that the pair of men had come to some sort of terms with their feelings.
Farfarello shoved it to the floor, "It sure as hell isn't Brad."
"No, it's not is it?" Yohji agreed as he turned a cold stare on the snivelling thing on the floor. "Brad would die before he'd let an enemy see fear."
�It says it knows where Brad is,� Nagi said in his quiet way when nobody else spoke up. �I would like to try and rescue him if possible.�
Schuldig glanced up from his contemplation of the clone: a clone he�d believed in had let fuck him. He shuddered. �Do you honestly believe he�ll be worth rescuing, Nagi? After Rosenkruez have had him all this time?�
�I took a quick look in its mind, Schuldig,� Aya said, �maybe you should too. I don�t know if it will comfort you or not but it does prove Crawford�s still alive, or was when this thing left.�
Schuldig frowned slightly at Aya before attempting what he�d suggested only to find he was doubly shielded.
*It needs a guiding telepath and already tried to latch on to me.*
*So you�re protecting me? How sweet. Be warned I�m more likely to destroy its mind than let it get in again.*
Across the room Aya nodded. Seemingly with the absence of the controlling telepath Schuldig was returning to normal.
Schuldig stayed long enough to see the thing�s memory before shuddering again and withdrawing. �He must have gone there to give the rest of us a chance,� he said to Nagi and Farfarello. And I know exactly where they�re keeping him so that�thing is of no further use.� He gazed at Kei for a moment as if weighing the man up.
�If you�re serious about taking the bastards on, I will help you in any way I can not as a member of your organisation but as a member of Schwarz. I give you my word.�
Kei's head tipped to one side as he regarded Schuldig. "Your word?" He glanced from the German to Kudoh, then at the rest of Schwarz. "My intent is to bring Rosenkreuz down, whether you help or not is up to you. I won't prevent you from trying to save your leader, but if he's a threat to my team once we get there, he's going to die. Understood?"
Schuldig simply nodded in answer, threw a look of utter contempt at the thing on the floor and left the room, full of disgust with himself for not recognizing the truth earlier.
The clone simply sat there on the floor where Farfarello had shoved him, the thing's eyes blank and staring since Schuldig's mind had touched its.
"That thing isn't even a complete human being," he remarked. "Without direction from another mind it can't function."
"It gives me the creeps, to be honest," Kate said.
"Flesh with no soul," Jas remarked. "Let's get it out of here," he said to Farfarello.
The Irishman grabbed it by its bleeding arm and dragged it toward the door.
"I'm sure the two of you know what to do with that thing. Call for cleanup when your done, and try not to make a lot of noise," Kei instructed.
Even Tsuki was totally impassive as the mock Crawford was dragged outside.
Nagi swallowed a lump in his throat as he thought of his real leader and what he'd done so the rest of them could find help. "The real Brad Crawford won't be a threat to you. He hates Rosenkreuz and Essett every bit as much as you do and with at least as much reason. If he's still alive he'll want to help."
Jas and Farfarello weren't gone very long, the pair of them coming in, Farfarello wiping blood from the knife in his hand on a shred of rag.
"I think it would have died now that it's purpose was gone. It seemed to have some sort of self-destructive programming."
Farfarello chuckled. "It attacked me."
Jas nodded, "Exactly. A pre-programmed self-destruct mode."
"Since we're assembled and no one is bickering for a change," Kei began, "I'll tell you my reason for hating Rosenkreuz." He took a deep breath, winced slightly, then said, "I lost my older sister to them eleven years ago. I was too young to do anything about it then, and we didn't even know who'd taken her."
He glanced at Schuldig. "Not until we encountered information about Schwarz while we were investigating the Takatori family. He had a secret file about the four of you from the Elders of Esset. Once I read it, I knew we had the answer."
He looked from Schuldig to Nagi, "You were lucky they never found you. And I was lucky that I'd gone away to America with a family friend or they would have taken me too."
Having said that Kei got slowly to his feet as black mist formed around him becoming thick enough to obscure him from sight. The mist faded but there was no trace of Kei to be seen.
"That's why he took the name Darkness," Farfarello remarked.
"Yes," Kei agreed from behind them. "I can't do it often, and I can't go far but I'm a teleporter."
"And my sister and I were telepaths." He glanced at Schuldig, "And we suspect that it was a botched kidnapping by inexperienced RK agents that took her from me."
Kei offered Kate a wan smile. "I think you suspected a few things about my motives for going after RK."
Kate nodded. "I knew the three of us had lost a beloved sibling," she said, "even though you never mentioned it. I think it was why none of us could move on for so long." She glanced from Jas and Aya to Tsuki and finally Yohji who had so many of the weaknesses that Pietro, her Peter, had had.
Nagi moved closer to Farfarello. "I know exactly how lucky I was. Brad found me only hours before Rosenkreuz would have done. Schuldig and Farfarello don't talk much about their time there, but I've learned enough to know why they kept me and trained me themselves."
Issei felt Aki shudder at mention of Kei's lost sister and put a comforting arm round the little drummer, who leaned into the embrace, his face pressed to Issei's shoulder.
Omi looked close to tears. "I keep finding even more evidence of the depravity of my so-called family. That is why I remain Tsukiyono Omi."
Schuldig sniffed in wry humour. "It's what your father called you after all."
Omi shot him a look of dislike but didn't disagree. "Exactly."
Kei fixed his gaze on Schuldig. "You said you're pretty sure you know where they have your leader?"
"Yes, he'll be at their biological research facility in Austria."
"I owe Brad for keeping me out of their hands, too," Yohji remarked. "If there's any chance we can save him--" he met Schuldig's eyes, "or if that's not an option, if we can kill him, then we have to try."
Schuldig closed his eyes on his pain for a second before nodding his agreement. "We'd also better hope they don't perfect the technique and send an even better copy. That one was convincing enough until it lost its controller."
"I don't think we'll be so easily fooled if we meet one of them, controller or no controller," Yohji remarked.
"Nor do I," Jas agreed. "Now that I know what was bothering me about Crawford they won't get another clone past me. He felt... hollow."
�Also, for all his arrogance, Crawford would not bite the hand that feeds him,� Aya added. �That was what worried me, the way he tried to take over when we got here.�
Nagi nodded. �That was out of character.� He glanced at Schuldig. �Don�t feel bad, Schu. I think Berger probably had a lot to do with your acceptance of the clone. You won�t get caught a second time.�
The German shuddered and looked away. It would take him a while to get over his self-disgust both at letting that thing touch him and at forcing one possible ally to kill another.
"So now what do we do?" Jas asked his leader.
"Unfortunately we wait until I heal then we go deal with RK," Kei replied as he leaned on the back of a chair for support. He looked at Nagi, Omi and Tsuki in turn. "I want the three of you to try and confirm Crawford's location and whether there are more of these clones or not. Also, if you can, get us floor plans for where he's being held."
Jas went to Kei and put an arm around him, "You need to be in bed, Kei. No arguments."
Kei's head lowered and he sighed. "I'm not going to argue with you Jas. This time you're right."
Tsuki smiled at Omi and Nagi. �Let�s get acquainted with the computers here, shall we?� He raised an enquiring brow at Kate.
�Study, first left down the hall,� she told him.
�Okay, Omi bring your laptop.� Both young men nodded and followed Tsuki out of the living room.
Jas put an arm around Kei. "Bed time for wounded killers," he quipped and got the older man into motion.
"Someone should consider whipping up some coffee, tea and broth for Kei. Anyone but me, my efforts would kill concrete," Jas said as he steered Kei toward the man's bedroom.
Yohji finished debating what he was going to do and went over to Schuldig. "We'll get Brad back for you, Schuldig. Even if I have to pull out the stops on my power," Yohji told him.
In an effort to mend a bridge that the clone's actions had pretty much burned, Yohji touched the German's cheek. "I know how much he means to you, Schu."
Farfarello pushed the blond away from his team mate. "Leave him alone, Kudoh, he doesn't need your help and neither do we!"
Yohji staggered and almost went down, his balance on the crutches not all that good since he was only really holding on to one of them. He winced as his weight came down on his broken ankle. "Yeah, forget I offered." He turned to hobble away.
�That�s enough!� Kate�s voice was cold. �Farfarello if you think Schwarz don�t need our help then I suggest you start swimming now. It�s only about fifty miles to the nearest island. But if you have the sense that I think you have, you�ll accept our help because you can�t do this alone.�
Farfarello looked at the woman. "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to this bitch here."
Schuldig shook his head. �She�s right,� he told Farfarello. �Yohji, I know you�ll do everything you can but you need to decide whether you�re Schwarz or whatever this bunch calls themselves.�
Aya, in the process of looking for the kitchen in order to make the drinks and broth Jas had requested, came to a halt. �Yes Kudoh, you do need to decide. Seemingly you�ve given your word to two people either of whom might well kill you for any betrayal.�
"I know. I think, subconsciously, I was trying to get someone to kill me when I did that." He sagged into the nearest seat, "I've been trying to get myself killed for over a year. So far it hasn't worked. Brad stopped me, Kate stopped me." He closed his eyes, "It would have been easier on all of you if you hadn't."
"If you want to die, I can arrange it," Jas called over his shoulder as he helped Kei from the room.
"Someone get Kudoh to bed. Drug him so he'll sleep if you have to," Kei ordered. "Until Crawford is back, he belongs to me. After that, we'll see."
�You heard the man,� Kate said. �Bed. Now.� She gazed at the broken blond in the chair and wanted to cry again. Kritiker were no better than Esset in the way they treated their people. The emotional mess in front of her was testament to that.
She glanced across the room to where Hidaka seemed to be trying to be invisible. Reports said he had come close to the same sort of psychosis that Farfarello suffered. Her green gaze moved to Aya, who seemed strangely content now: which was amazing in itself considering his past. And in the study with Tsuki was a young man who had been trained to be a killer by his father and who was now trying to be anything but a Takatori.
Keeping her reflections to herself she returned her gaze to Yohji and scowled at him. �Shift, Kudoh. Sleep time. Nothing is going to happen until everyone is at full strength again so quit trying to protect us all.�
Yohji sighed. "I don't know where my bedroom is, or if I even have one." He closed his eyes, "And I'm not sure I can make it out of this chair anyway so I'll be fine right where I am." He tried to get his leg comfortable and gave up. It just hurt no matter what he did. "Besides I'm waiting for some of that tea, or coffee, anything. I'm thirsty as hell."
Ken got up and went over to Yohji. "Sorry for being such a dick," he murmured and offered his hand to Yohji. "Aya, do you know where we can find an empty room for Yohji?"
�He doesn�t but I do,� Kate said. �Make sure he gets there please. He can have his drink in bed.�
Aya smirked to himself at the bossy attitude and disappeared into the kitchen where he found Issei already busy with the coffee maker and Aki putting a kettle on to boil.
�Looks like I get the broth.� Issei turned at the sound of his voice and gave him a cool, assessing look before turning back to the measuring out of coffee grounds. �Do you know how to make it?�
�I�ve had plenty of practice.�
Yohji took Ken's hand, hoping that his former team mate hadn't offered just so he could lecture him once they were alone.
Or, since this was Ken, beat the shit out of him.
"Where am I taking him?" Ken asked. He wasn't intending to do anything drastic to Yohji, but he was still mad at the blond for joining Schwarz and saying not a fucking thing to them. It stung. It stung a lot the way he'd betrayed them. Then Yohji'd turned around and done the same thing to Schwarz.
And that pissed him off too.
�I�ll show you,� Kate said and led the way down the hall. She opened the third door along revealing a pleasant room with a large bed and a sea view. She crossed it quickly and turned down the covers on the bed so that Ken could ease Yohji onto it easily enough.
Yohji's butt hit bed and he eyed Ken warily. "Thanks."
"No problem." He watched Kate. "He sleeps better if the room's dark." �So lower the blinds,� Kate suggested sweetly. �Do you want tea or coffee, Kudoh?�
Ken went to the blinds and fiddled with them until he got them to go down.
"A mocha latte with whipping cream and chocolate shavings on top. Failing that, tea and someone soft and warm to cuddle."
Kate crossed her arms and stared down at him, shaking her head as she did so. �Ken, be a love and get Kudoh a cup of tea please. I�m sure you know how he likes it. Then you�re free to join either Omi or Aya and whine at one of them.�
Ken stared at her for a moment, then left.
"I was joking, Kate. So don't bite my head off, okay?" Yohji muttered as he started to unbutton his shirt.
�I wasn�t intending to. I think enough people have had a go at you for one day. All I�m going to say is this � the man says you�re in our team until we find Crawford. Don�t betray us the way you have both Weiss and Schwarz or I�ll save Jas the trouble and kill you myself.�
"If I'd betrayed Weiss I would have told Esset where they were. If I'd betrayed Schwarz I could have done the same thing! And if I wanted to fucking betray your precious fucking DSS I'd have already found a way to do it. So fuck you very much!"
He turned over on the bed to hide the new tears trying to escape his eyes. "And tell Ken I don't want the tea because all he'll do is come back and bitch at me!"
�No, he won�t. I�m sorry, Kudoh, I should have known better.� She sat down on the edge of the bed, careful to keep from jarring his ankle any further. �They�re bitching cos you hurt them, that�s all. People care about you, Kudoh.�
"Do they? I was destroying myself right under their noses and they said not shit. I didn't think they gave a damn. And then Aya..." he shook his head. "I can't take the pain anymore, Kate. And I'm not talking about my ankle." He gave a shaky sigh, trying to stop the frustrated tears. "I wish someone would kill me. I just can't keep doing this... I just..." He went silent and lay there with his shoulders shaking.
He'd lost Aya, Brad didn't love him either and it hurt so much he wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.
Yohji pulled off his watch and held it behind him. "I don't trust myself with this right now."
Kate took the watch and laid it on the bedside table. There was a knock at the door and Issei poked his head round it. �I brought you both some tea as the brunet Weiss wanted to be with his boyfriend.�
�Thanks Issei.�
Issei put the tray down where she could reach it and left the room without saying anything more.
�Drink your tea, Yohji, then try and sleep. It�ll probably help.�
"Yeah, that's all that's wrong. I'm just tired, right?" Yohji wiped his face on the sheets and sat up, reaching for the tea.
He felt like the world was crashing down around him.
It was the same way he'd felt when Asuka died.
�No, I don�t think it is all that�s wrong. When my brother took to drugs, he had reasons, good reasons�� She sighed and handed Yohji his tea before picking up her own. �You seem to be in the same frame of mind that he was.�
"Brad found me shooting heroin. I'd have been dead already if he hadn't come and stopped me." Yohji took his cup of tea and took a sip. "None of them seemed to notice how fucked up I was. Not Ken, Omi or Aya. Or if they did they just left me to my own devices." He shrugged. "Then they turn around and tell me that I betrayed them."
�Can I ask you a question? What made you want to shoot up in the first place? I know it was to stop the pain, but which one?�
He stared into his tea. "Aya."
�You love him that much? Why? He doesn�t seem the most sociable of creatures although he is beautiful to look at. Like Jas though it�s like looking at a statue.�
"Yeah, Kate. I love him that much. You know, he started to make love with me up at the farm house. Then the fucking clone showed up and ruined it." He put the cup of tea aside. "And you don't know him the way I do. Under the statue he hurts. I've seen it in his eyes."
Yohji covered his face with his hands and started to cry. "Gods help me, I still love him."
Kate put her tea down and held him close. Her own stupid hopes had turned to ashes and dust in her mouth in the face of his admission and she mentally called herself forty different kinds of fool.
"I don't want to love him anymore, Kate but you can't just stop loving someone. I wish I could, but I just... don't know how."
�So first the heroin and then Schwarz was a way of escaping,� she said gently as she rocked him like a child. �It makes sense now.�
Time might heal all wounds but not if you were faced with the object of your desires every day.
"Brad never said he... Well he never said he gave a shit about me other than they would need me in order to bring down RK. But I... read things into him keeping me from killing myself. Things that weren't there," he admitted. "That's finally what tipped me off over the clone. The real Brad would never have carried me, or done anything to show affection. Hell he hardly does that with Schuldig and I think he does love that German bastard.
"But you were there when I figured that out."
�German bastard?� Kate was confused. �I thought you were rather fond of him actually.�
"That's what I call him. He calls me Brad�s Japanese bitch or he used to," Yohji replied. He wiped his eyes dry and reached for his tea. "And yeah, Brad was fucking me. Not often, just enough to keep my libido in line and let me pretend it meant something."
Kate nodded, understanding male bonding rituals and insults was sometimes beyond her but she got the general idea. �Sounds to me like everyone�s fucked you over.�
"Yeah. You'd think I'd learn, but I never do." He rubbed his hand over his tattoo and just sat there staring off into space. "I wish I could get drunk or... anything to let me forget for a while."
Kate took a deep breath, leaned forward and kissed him. Maybe she could help him forget. She knew she was probably going to end up hurting herself but she couldn�t bear seeing him like this if she could help him in some way.
But Yohji found the strength to resist, turning his head and gently pushing her away. "Don't Kate. I know what you want to do, and I appreciate it, but..." he shook his head, "I'm not so far gone I'll jeopardize you with your team more than I have."
Kate drew back as if he had slapped her. �You know nothing about me, Kudoh, but you�re probably right. It would be stupid of me to let things go any further with someone who has obviously given up on himself.� She stood up. �Do you need a sedative to help you sleep?�
Yohji wanted to pull her into bed, to hold her and kiss her, to forget. Instead he was going to drive her away to save her.
"Kate, I'm a messed up wreck of a human being and I don't want to bring you down with me." He thought about the sedative. "Drugs work," he replied softly. "The stronger the better."
�I�ll get you some.� She picked up the teacups and quietly left the room.
* * * * * * *
"So what do we do now?" Farfarello questioned. "We're stuck here on this island with no way to go after Crawford until they're ready to go."
�We have been looking at RK floor plans and we know all the guards movements and shift changes so we haven�t been wasting our time,� Nagi said fairly.
Schuldig kicked at a pebble and scowled. �There�s nothing we can do unless we swim for it.� His face was bleak as he gazed at the others. �That�s if he�s still alive at all.�
"I'd suggest you try to reach him, but he's probably drugged so much even you couldn't find him," Farfarello stated. "So where does this leave us? If Brad is dead..." but he let his thought trail off. There was no point in speculating.
�If Brad is dead you stay with these guys,� Schuldig said.
Nagi frowned at the look on the telepath�s face. �And you?�
�I�ll stay around long enough to avenge him. I believe these guys can do it too. Fujimiya has finally admitted what he is, Hidaka�s power is yet to manifest, but Brad was right, there is something under the surface. The woman is an untrained empath. And apart from letting the odd telepath in Silence�s ghostly sister is a very useful young lady.�
�And after you avenge him?� Nagi persisted.
�I�ll join him.�
"And what will that accomplish?" Farfarello asked. "I mean, other than being rather dramatic and the last thing Brad would ever want from you?"
�What else is there for me, Farf? You two have each other and the chance to join with a group who appreciate your talents. You�re not being slowly driven mad with the world�s voices. Brad was the only one who could keep the voices at bay. If he�s gone��
"Brad wanted Yohji for a reason. We need to find out what it is." Farfarello frowned. "Unless it was just because he'd be the one to figure out about the clone."
He got up from the lounge chair and started to pace beside the pool. "I get the feeling there's more to it though. I mean that talent of his is... pretty damned powerful."
�I think Brad foresaw what was going to happen to him,� Nagi said quietly. �He may have seen something in Yohji�s talent that would help rescue him� or kill him if it was too late to do anything else.�
Schuldig nodded. �That�s possible, ja. And if so, you pushing him away and telling him he wasn�t part of Schwarz may have fucked things up, Farf.�
"Well you can just remind him I'm crazy. I don't know what I'm doing half the time right?" It wasn't totally true. He did know what he was doing and saying almost all the time, but Yohji didn't know that, and if it got them out of a bad situation with 'Soulkiller' then the lie would serve the purpose.
�I think he knows better by now,� Schuldig said. �Don�t worry. I know why you did it. It�s just that Yohji�s really screwed up over that redheaded bitch Aya and us pushing him away might just turn out to be the straw that broke the camel�s back.�
"Maybe... one of us should go talk to him." Farfarello thought about it. "Not me. He won't want to talk to me."
�I�ll go. I�m the one he has the closest link to now that Brad�s not here.� Schuldig was silent for long moments. Here on the island distance made the constant buzz of thoughts bearable. Only the thoughts of the locals and those in the house were getting through and those he could deal with. It was when they moved again that he would need to worry.
Farfarello nodded. "Call us if you need us."
Schuldig nodded and turned away, heading for the interior of the house. He wasn�t sure how far he would get with the blond but he was willing to give it a try for Brad�s sake.
He looked for Yohji�s thought patterns, using them to track the man down in the large house. As expected, Yohji was still in his room and Schuldig knocked on the door.
The sedative that Kate had given Yohji had just started to work and he was feeling mellow, and sleepy. "Who is it?"
�It�s me, Schuldig. Can I come in?�
"Why so you can tell me what a worthless piece of shit I am? Go away, I've heard it already."
Yohji turned his back to the door and pulled a pillow over his head.
�I came to apologise. Farf would have come himself but he thought you probably wouldn�t want to talk to him right now.�
"And he thought I'd want to talk to you?" Yohji sat up. "Just go away, okay? You're only here because you've decided you need me. It's not because you really give a shit."
�Yohji, right now I don�t really give a shit about anything or anyone. The man who means everything to me is being held captive and having bits of DNA taken to produce clones and that�s all I fucking care about. So stop feeling sorry for yourself just because you�re suffering from unrequited love.�
"Well why don't you just stop feeling sorry for yourself since your only problem is that you didn't even notice Brad was fucking gone until I pointed it out." Yohji retorted angrily. "And if you've just come here to piss on me, get out! I've had more than enough of that from every fucking one of you!"
Schuldig shook his head and sighed. Maybe they should have sent Nagi. �If we really didn�t give a shit would you be Schwarz?�
"I'm with Schwarz because of Brad. I don't really think he ever intended for me to be part of Schwarz. I'm a tool to be used, but that's it. I deluded myself into thinking it was more than that." He lay down. "Just go away. I'm tired and you aren't really concerned about me. You're worried I'll tell you to fuck off and not help to rescue Crawford, that's it and we both know it don't we?"
Yohji turned onto his side facing away from Schuldig. "I told you I'd help you get him back. And I will, so leave me the hell alone."
�If that�s what you want, Yohji,� Schuldig said sadly. �And thank you for the offer.�
He turned to leave Yohji to it. It felt strange how he now had his own insight into the depths of the blond�s despair.
"No, it's not what I want, it's just a fact. I'm not allowed to die, yet no one really wants me around. And that's truly a fucked up way to exist, because I can't call this a life."
�There is someone who wants you around but you�re too afraid to try again,� Schuldig said. �Brad told you � if it actually was Brad � that you didn�t stand a snowball�s chance in hell with Fujimiya; that even if you started something between you it simply wasn�t meant to be.
�Aya�s ice and you�re warm. It could never have worked. And there�s the little fact that you still prefer women. There�s a woman here who has no illusions about you, that you�d never have to lie to and you�ve turned her away. I guess you felt you were being honourable.
�You�re right. Kritiker used you, we used you, and even Fujimiya used you. She won�t. Brad saw her over a year ago.�
Yohji closed his eyes. "Good for Brad. I'm thrilled he's got that kind of power, but Kate doesn't need a useless junkie drunk."
He refused to broach the subject of Aya. The man had hurt him so much he didn't even know how he'd be able be in the same city with the icy bastard much less live in the same house.
�Did Aya?� Schuldig asked. �She�s more likely to put up with your little relapses than ever he was.� He relented, realising that if someone was telling him to make a life with someone other than Brad, he wouldn�t be listening right now. �Anyway, if you need friends you have them in Farf, Nagi and I.�
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Yohji muttered. He already knew what a lie that was, but didn't feel like mentioning it to the German. He didn't have any friends and he was tired of round after round of self-delusion.
"Can you just fucking go away now?" The sedative was pulling at him, offering him a temporary end to the hurt of both his heart and ankle, a kind of mental static filling his head as the drug fought him for possession of his mind.
�Enjoy your peace, Yohji, at least you get some, you selfish bastard.� Schuldig turned to leave but finally the cacophony caught up with him and he slumped to the floor clutching his head and screaming in agony.
Yohji was out of bed and kneeling on the floor beside Schuldig. "What is it? What's wrong?" he asked the telepath. He touched Schuldig's face, and the invasion of every mind on the island faded.
Schuldig stared up at him in amazement. �You can silence them! Thank you. I think maybe Berger did something to my shields. I can�t keep them out anymore. Even before Brad would have to silence them from time to time if we were in a large city.�
He pulled himself up to a sitting position and hugged his knees. �When Rosenkreuz trained me they wanted my talent used as a weapon. What natural shields I had were torn down and I was only able to partially rebuild them. You see, Yohji, its not just love that makes me need Brad, it�s my very sanity.�
"I know, Schuldig. Brad told me that, and he told me that..." Yohji frowned. "If something happened to him I should take care of you. I guess he knew he'd be captured and didn't say anything about it to any of you."
The blond blinked sleepily as he caressed the telepath's hair, not even thinking about what he was doing, or how angry he still was with this particular red head. "I can't stay awake much longer. Kate gave me something to help me sleep. If you need me to keep the voices away, you'll have to come lay down in my bed."
�Thank you, Yohji. Go back to bed and get the sleep you need so badly.� Schuldig climbed to his feet and supported Yohji until he was back on the bed. �As well they provide large beds here.�
"They don't skimp on anything, do they?" the blond said as he hobbled to the bed. His leg hurt so badly, the pain shooting up from his ankle that he hissed in a breath.
Yohji got into bed, lay down and closed his eyes. "You don't have to pretend you care what happens to me, Schuldig. I know I'm nothing to you and the rest of Schwarz, but I'll still help you get Crawford away from them because I promised I would. What happens after that," he shrugged, "will be my choice."
�That�s fair enough,� the telepath agreed. �I�m not actually pretending but let it rest. Get some sleep.�